It wasnt always this way
when the time passed it brought colors
for sometime its only gifted grey
its a mindset they say
trapped in my own behavior
the devil next door
i sought him as saviour
condemned to my hurt
a product of badly spent labors
of heart ,
efforts I prayed to reap,
stole them like the grinch,
dreams lain in a heap.
the mask was lifted slowly from my eyes,
beliefs believed ,
no longer recognized as real.
admist a shit storm of my own skeleton lies.
These days I'm a lil anxious
maybe a bit too unsure
all i know is
last time i drank the poison,
thinking it was the cure.
no really though I'm an anxious wreck
ex beauty queen barhopper
for me they broke their necks.
i reveled in the attention ,
the fallacy of WHO I BE
at the time I didnt realize.
i had turned into 7 sins,
It's hard to get out of my head,
only because I had the nightmare again
it makes me toss and turn
so shit, its even harder to get out of bed.
looking for lost treasures
on a map I noted on with crayons
at the time it felt right,
clearly missing sight
lacking opportunal views at THE LIGHT.
See I wasnt always this way,
agoraphobic anxiety consuming a creative who might burst
I can't wait for the day my writing turns golden
eventually consuming the worst.