Senior Breakfast

I saw you today
And my heart flipped out of my chest
Later that night I couldn't rest.
Months after getting over you
There I was back in your grasp
And now I reminisce about our past.
I would laugh quietly and fall deeper in love
While you were absentmindedly playing with your thumb.
How I envied your words because
They touched your lips,
Mocking me while we sat together in class.
But today was different,
Yes you made me feel but
It was a feeling I had never had.

See, when you looked in my eyes with
A blank expression, one of
Apathy (and I understand
Your personality and know how you think)
But those cold eyes burned a hole in me.

You gave me a feeling I never wanted to experience,
One I had tried to avoid, but I saw it written on your face.
You acted like I was a stranger when I called out your name,
Mumbling out something quick and sharply turning away.
You saw me before I saw you, I'm sure.
But those eyes those damn eyes that I used to drown in
Were only shallow deep. Did you forget me?
Did you know me? Were you jealous I was talking to a friend?
Or maybe it was because our time walking down
The hall together, although strained, was limited.

It didn't matter because your eyes told me all,
You had rejected me and it caused me to feel small.
You did something I was afraid of since the sixth grade,
You broke my heart with the words you didn't say.
You had my heart and ripped it out my chest, 
And that five-second conversation made me feel weak.
And in that moment I hated you and those eyes 
For making me feel meek
And like I was just another peer strolling through the hall.

Then boom!
The love of my life killed me,
With his steel cold, detached stare.
Not even turning around as he went to class
To witness the bullet resting in my head.
Because to you I was just another stranger dressed in
Grey, blue and red.

But how can one love when their love shot them dead.

This poem is about: 


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741