What I Want


I think of endless days and short nights

I think of powerful blades and deep slashes

I think of everything and nothing but all that comes out is air and I don't know how or why but I thought of you

Sitting there in your indigo jeans and your faded t-shirt staring out the window like you could care less on whether it's 1st period or 7th

I remember seeing you and thinking that all I wanted was you but it wasn't I wanted to be like you and have no care in the world

you taught me to be free and like a butterfly I am free everyday of my life I live I live because of you because on that day you looked up from the window and saw a person worth saving a heart broken into pieces but still fixable

you opened up my eyes to the power of music and writing and to think I thought you were just a hipster

you taught me control and you helped me every step of the way not a day was lost that you weren't there looking out for me

and every relapse I had you found a reason to move forward a reason for hope and a reason to live cause to you I wasn't a cutter I wasn't emo I was a person with a heart still beating and eyes closed tight

and to think I met you in a hospital terminal cancer five days to live five days to help me but truly you gave me a lifetime your voice became my conscience a voice of love and of hope

a voice that told me to never give up and never back down because somewhere in me was a girl worth loving and you saw it I didn't

you loved me from day one and even kissed my scars

i wish I could see your face it's been a year now but I haven't forgotten the way your eyes gleamed when on your last earthly day saying your words of last yet none of them tragic you said you were happy because in your entire life you wanted to help people and you'd helped me

so I thank you for everything including my life thank you Cody Michael Jameston  

Guide that inspired this poem: 


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