My life is Intoxicating

It’s so misleading

It can be frustrating

I guess I’m still debating on whether my life is worth hating.

 

My life is so demanding and friends

Are not so understanding

They think I got it so easy

And shouldn’t be complaining about living a life that's so damn draining  

I feel like I’m being suffocated

With pressure that is weighting on my chest

I’m filled with so much hatred.

 

I don’t know how long I can take this

I’m tired of pretending that my life is so prefect

When deep down I feel like my life is so worthless or aren’t worth shit.

 

Friends look at me as being Miss Prefect

It’s like my innocence is being taking all over again

I really thought I could get pass this

If I just blocked it in my thoughts and stay focus

But they don’t understand that I feel used and hopeless

Honestly they don’t know shit

I’m tired of pretending like I don’t have problems.

 

And there is no one that can solve them

I’m ready for my mine to be put at ease

So I can start working on being ''ME"

I’m just so tired of pretending

I no longer want to felt this hurt.

 

When I don’t want to be known as a pretender

There are a lot of things I kept hid

Like me being raped as a young kid

Starving myself like back then

Cutting my wrists like were best friends                                           

Pretending is so fucking exhausting

When I’m dealing with shit that still haunts me.