I write to express the things I will never say. My thoughts of grief and joy. I write those feelings that others are wont to deny. I write when I feel broken, broken to where I am not certain of who I am. I cry when I write, because everything is raw unbridled emotion. I weep tears of pain and sadness, I even find myself crying over things that have not happened. I wish I knew how to control it, this feeling of weakness and instability. I want to crush it and never feel that way again. Though I know in my heart I am a strong woman, my brain finds it hard to comprehend. Maybe that is what we wish for, us strong women. Maybe we wish to find a man who will take care of us, hold us when we cry and then act like it never happens. Stand there on the side-lines and let us fix our own problems and then pummel them when we aren't looking. We want someone who explicitly knows who we are even when we don't know ourselves. We want the impossible. I write to try to understand myself. I wish to see who I was, am, and who I might become. It is not the faults of others that hurt mankind but our own faults as of not being true to ourselves. Or not knowing who we are. I suppose if to sum what I write about in one phrase I would say; I write to discover.