Because I learned to love me

Because I loved you, 

I became, not one, but two identities 

One day I would cling to your arms like a newborn baby clinging onto the breast of his mother,

while he sucked the life that was given to him

The next day, I felt nothing but lost in my own never ending sinkhole of despair

waiting for you to catch me,

but instead you let me fall

I'd hit the ground and watch you,

just watch me

But because I loved you,

I stood up on two broken legs 

and asked if you were okay.


Because I loved you,

I stopped loving myself

I was a Picasso,

painting my very own picture of happiness

In my head, it was two spirits rejoicing in the ambience of their love

But in reality, it was nothing but your spirit dropping the glass heart that was mine

I watched it shatter

But because I loved you,

I picked up the pieces, glued them back together

and gave it to you.


Because I loved you, 

every night I would sleep walk to the place we first met

I sat back watching the memories flood back into my head like it was a dream,

but it wasn't

It was just a moment of reminiscing

Remember when we used to laugh until we thought we were dying?

Now your laughing and I'm still here dying

When you grab onto me, I hug you and whisper in your ear

"Never let me go"

My whisper isn't loud enough to mask the sound of your phone ringing

You let me go

But because I loved you,

I built myself a latter to climb back up when I hit the ground

You only pushed it back down.


Because I loved you,

When the pain from my heartache was almost unbearable

I thought the only way I could set myself free

was to cut into my skin

Create scars that told stories of the pain you put me through

I picked up the knife,

but instead I cut the ties that connected us two

But because I love myself,

this time

I let you go.



This poem is about: 


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741