it is today
i cannot stand the thought of my next birthday
i cannot stand the thought of another day
and so much hurt that i feel numb
i am 15
i wonder how i got so good
at mixing foundations
not on my face
but on my arms and legs
to hide the secrets i release on my skin
i cry because
the scars will not hide themselves
and i cannot forget who i am
and what i have become
i am 14
sweaters and long sleeve shirts
have become my heaven
i do not care what is in style
because cutting is "so totally not"
i am 13
i do not question
why blood pouring out of me
as if i am releasing demons that
itch under my skin
seems like my only remedy
the words "please kill yourself"
and "fat ugly worthless creature"
come from my own lips,
i am 12
i am bullied and i am too scared to tell
i am bullied and i have no idea
what torment the next three years of my life will bring
because "kids will be kids"
because "she won't be affected by it"
because "how bad can it be"
because "bullying at such a young age doesn't matter"
It is today, and I know it matters.