Break Your Own Heart

For so long, I kept holding on, trying to convince myself that all of this was for something,

But I wasn't prepared for all of the hurt and pain that it would bring.

I am covered in bruises, cuts and scares from head to toe,

But all of them are invisible, and unless I told you, nobody would ever know.

I so badly want to hate you for breaking my heart,

But I realized that you were never the problem from the start.

As much as I want to hate you, I simply just can not,

Because I always thought that this was not how our story was going to end, but you were the one controlling the plot.

I so badly wanted to convince myself that for once in my life somebody I wanted actually wanted me back,

But I can't change who I am, and I can't suddenly become all of the things for you that I lack.

And it sucks because I try so hard to be confident, but I look at all the girls I wish I could be,

But I know that they have everything that I don't, and when you have that option, I see why you wouldn't pick me.

I feel like an idiot because I really thought things were starting to go my way,

But there is nothing else that I can do, and I am running out of words to say.

I know it is meaningless if I have to convince you to love me,

But I know no matter how hard I try I will never be able to make you see all of the things that I see.

I finally admit that is something that I am grieving, and it is something that I have to let go of,

Because there is nothing else that I can do to try and convince you of my love.

I know no matter how hard I try, I will always have a place for you in my heart,

Because you made me believe in love at first sight, and I loved you from the start.

This hurts more than ever, and it is harder to get over someone you never had the chance to date,

Because I really thought that we met for a reason, and it was all because of fate.

I have nothing bad to say about you, and that's what hurts the most,

Because while you had the distance between us, I genuinely thought that we were getting close.

I don't know how I'm going to get over you, because you are all I think about,

Because you were the one that I never wanted to count out.

I hope that whoever does end up with you knows how lucky she will be,

Because there aren't many guys like you, but I'm sure that is something that she will be able to see.

It's hard to get over someone that you created a future with, and gave so much of your energy and time,

But I know that no matter what, I will never have the opportunity to call you mine.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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