Prom is tomorrow. I put my dress on today.
The dress you helped pick out.
I stood in front of the mirror. I looked at myself.
And I thought: was I not pretty enough?
I mean I looked fine, but…there are definitely prettier girls around.
I stayed like that for a while.
It’s a deep red.
I don’t usually feel so latino.
But this dress….it brought it out.
In this dress I was my core self.
I was a Spanish speaking, fiery, passionate, short, tiny girl.
Was I not interesting enough? I stood in front of the mirror.
Looking at myself, asking myself all these questions.
But I wasn’t sad because you left me anymore, but there was this feeling.
It was reverberating all through me.
My eyes stung, it wasn’t because you left
They stung not because the love I gave you wasn’t enough.
But because of loss. The loss of my best friend, the loss of that companionship,
The loss of the person I texted every day, and called. The person I went to lunch with everyday
And snuggled against at night.
The loss of two years of feeling so happy, being with my best friend.
The loss of the ground under my feet.