There is a voice in the back of my skull that screams for release,
That can only be found in a razor blade, or between your lips.
If I pick and prod at my flesh enough I realize soon enough I can't feel anything,
Or if I drown myself in the taste of alcohol I can't see you everywhere I look.
So instead of weeping over you, I'd take another hit,
Feel smoke roll into my lungs before whispering goodbye with my lips.
Shoot myself to recognize that what this is,
I am lonley because of you.
Destruction has taken over me, through old habits that resurface,
Like the remains of our love eaten away by the waves of the sea.
Tired eyes, and tear-stained cheeks.
That is what we've become.
I've twisted my thoughts around what we could have been,
so much so that every time I hear your name I run my fingertips through my scalp to pull my hair.
I bite the skin off my lips till they bleed,
and I scratch at my flesh until it screams red.
I was happy before I met you,
and I was happy with you,
but now that you've gone and given up, I'd rather down another bottle,
and smoke till my lungs give out,
before facing the reality of the chaos around me.
I'm crumbling, and you're smiling.
Loving you felt like fresh air, and never-ending adventures lost between the pages of the badlands,
Losing you felt like collapsing lungs, and swelled eyes.
But we were never meant to be, for if we were, you would be with me and not her.