But I remember you.
"I'll give up everything.
I love you."
These words were meant for you.
I needed the fire burning in your eyes.
Otherwise I'd be unable to see
in that dark, scary mess.
I tried so hard not to think of you.
So hard, to keep you satisfied.
I'm on my last life,
under a lot of pressure.
Please don't get me wrong;
I knew you loved me then.
But there is no way of knowing.
My heart is breaking in front of me:
the awful edges where you end and I begin.
It's too much for you to stay.
Just to find me.
"Love, I'd never hurt you.
I'm just not sure what to do."
I can't find the words to tell you.
When I destroyed myself.
How could I tell you the past I tried to leave behind?
Who I have been?
Please don't go looking for answers.
I'm going to put this body to shame.
Acting like I don't care.
It took some dying to feel alive.
Maybe if my heart stops beating, you'll remember me.
Whatever happens, it won't hurt this much.
I won't go where you went.
I'm perfectly comfortable here.
You're awful, but always in my heart.
You're draining me slowly
by not saying much.
A friend in need is a friend you don't need.
Maybe if I close my eyes, never to return again.
I'm going to lose much more than my mind.
I'll wake up.
Because I know that's what you want me to do.
I won't be the one
to disappoint you anymore.
I can't hear a word you say.
You raise your voice, the chaos that controlled my mind.
Did we enjoy ourselves?
Does it matter?
"You weren't there.
Why do you care?
Just believe me.
You won't come back."
"I don't have a choice."