Everyone told me that I was crazy, but I so badly wanted to prove them wrong.
I feel like an idiot, for hoping that things would go the way that I wanted them to, and for holding on for so long.
It sucks to know that at this point, there is a very slim chance that our paths will ever cross,
And with every tear that I shed, I will try to convince myself that it is all your loss.
I don't know why, but this heartbreak hurts the most out of all of them that came before,
And everytime I think about all of the memories, it only starts to hurt even more.
I am trying to convince myself that things could have been different if I hadn't wasted so much time and let everyone else get into my head,
But part of me also realizes that that is all a lie, and I see the truth in every tear that I shed.
Maybe I was honest, and I wish I could go back and change the conversation that we had,
And I so badly want to try and fix things, but I know that it is only going to turn out bad.
I never thought that I would fall for you the way that I did, which is why I allowed myself to get close,
But that's how it hppened, and that is just how the story goes.
I like to believe that if you didn't live so far there was still a chance for us to try and figure things out,
But I know that that is looking for a reach, and it still brings me a lot of doubt.
I can't even talk about how I feel because I don't want to hear "I told you so,"
Because I don't want to believe that's true, but it was what everyone else already knows.
I keep trying to tell myself that I'm not missing you, and that I am okay,
But then it hits me that that is not true, because I continue to cry everyday.
I think about you all the time, and it hurts like Hell because I know you don't think about me,
And I so badly am praying that one day you will see what I see.
I have to go back to work, and the last time I was there was when I sat there talking to you,
And I have to pretend like I am not thinking about you, in everything that I hear, say, and do.
You don't remember any of it, but all of the conversations play on repeat in my mind,
And I rememer how sweet you were, how gentle, how kind.
There are so many memories that I know are going to be so hard to let go,
And I am going to pretend to be okay, and by putting on a fake show.
It sucks to know that we can even hang out as friends, because that is all I wanted in the end,
But I already said too much, and there is no way that I can try make ammends.
It's true that the truth hurts, because I know that in your world, I have no meaning,
So I am just going to be sitting here, still waiting and dreaming.
I don't know if it makes it better or worse that we are going to keep in touch,
Because my heart hurts so bad, and I miss you so much.
You have such a common name, and I know that I am going to have to hear it all the time,
Because I know that it is a name that I am never going to say, because it is never going to be mine.
You said if things change you will let me know, so I guess there is still a little bit of a chance,
But it hurts to know that that could never happen, but I am still going to be hoping, because I so badly want to experience our last dance.