I thought we had something special

For as long as I could remember there was something about you I once adored was it the way you smiled Me and made me feel as if I was the only one left in the room, was it your scent that reeked of masculinity? Was it your hand upon mine that made me feel secure. Was it your hug that I felt as if I could hold onto for a lifetime? Was it your kiss that made me feel confident in the woman I am. Was it your words that I took to heart and never let go? Was it our bond all in all that I thought would never fade? Was it you that I believed in or this someone else you pretended to be? Was this a crush ? Was I in love? I can't seem to figure out what it was but I thought it was you. I thought you felt as I do. I thought I meant something. We never spoke too much but when we did there was a unexplainable bond. One that I thought couldn't be broken. When we'd speak it felt like it's been forever. There used to be a spark. My heart used to melt hearing your voice alone. Your touch was poisonous. I was young & wasn't ready for what I am now . We used to speak all the time, then time grew shorter, days grew longer, feelings that were supposed to be fonder started to wander and now we are here. It's complicated but if it counts for anything let me be the first to say I still want you!