What’s a beginning? The first, a start?
For I believe in no beginning to this art.
I have written these same words, felt these same feelings.
I have painted these same problems and colored in my same solutions.
You don’t get a beginning, you get a continuance.
But a true artist knows that the best creations are fresh.
Like the pile of strawberries you left me on my front step.
It was a Sunday and in some way, my heart was speechless.
And rightfully so! After all of the crying, complaining, and questioning of my woe.
Although energy and gravity’s opinion intertwined with mine may clash
I know that it is easier to hold on, then to let go of your past.
We simply don’t feel because our hearts are lazy and passive
We simply hurt because our hearts are diligent and active.
Well gosh! Who knew knowledge was so detrimental
All the things you can learn and experience when you are sentimental
They would say that my emotions were my detriment
Nay! My emotions helped me to apply and reach common sense.
Tears of mine have cried
And my eyes have teared
The warmth of cupid’s fluids helped me to see clear
Now I know who’s dear and sincerely close in mind
I know who deserves nothing more than to whom it may concern
And a closing of signed, right next to the initial of mine.
As much as I love art, it’s usually caged, secluded, trapped, lost, then found and caught
Like memories, like feelings
I don’t want picture frame memories, stained glass feelings, and a statue of regret
I want to live
I want to be in progression not depression
And who wouldn't’t be when you’re trapped in a frame
I’ve had my share of feelings hung on the wall
This is why we can always recollect
What we see every day we surely never forget
So we run!
Our hearts are pacing, our minds are racing about what we should have
What we could have, what we would have, what we have now, and what we use to and never could have
Until you reach the bathroom door
And by the time Love comes to try and save you by knocking
You’ve already flushed your humanity down the toilet of nothingness
You are an O without shape
A word without definition
A sentence without preposition
An existence without reason
Weather without seasons
Now we’re in question, illusions, regression
Sniffing for conclusions, what a bloody mess!
You can’t find yourself or soul at the bottom of the bottle
Tip of the knife, edge of the cliff
Bullet within the gun, loudness within the music.
You’ll never find it. It’s so far gone, somewhere with you.
We are all delusional, all insane, and all eccentric
We let our happiness pass us by
And they wonder why we were never stopped by “why”
Anyone could’ve done something
But everyone expects someone to do everything
So no one did anything
And nothing was done.
We hurt those who helped us heal
We leave those who we made stay
We pursue those who purse themselves
And reject those who pursue us
We sit in silence and let the awkwardness build within our lungs
Our guilt kicking like a 6 month pregnancy of mistakes
Time is flying but we can’t move
Our emotions become mute and are hidden under our pride
So we have to hide inside
And let off a rough exterior just to scare away the one person we were never afraid of
Why do we do this
Drown in sorrow, dehydrate in bliss
Cry about the ones we miss
Reminisce about the ones we kissed
Add them to the bathroom list
We all hide but everything is shown in the light
I know night is dark, but God gave us stars for light that are so bright
I know your path is blurry, but God gave us eyes for sight
I know love is hard, but God gave us our hearts and each other to fight
I’m an evergreen, because I’m neverblue
As long as you’re around, it’s like I never knew
What pain was, how it feels
If I’m dreaming, if it’s real
You were my star that glowed in my darkness
You were my eyes that saw my pain
You were my heart that didn’t let me change
Your love is foreign and we fear what we don’t know
Sometimes I unconsciously let my fears show
I’m not mad, I’m terrified, and I don’t want to let you go!
To know that it does exist, amazing people like you, not blue
Our relationship cannot be defined
Our hurt does not stop time
Forgive me, sometimes I’m swine
With a craving for you, you are wine
Because you get better with age, more interesting with each page, you’re my succession, even obsession
Please don’t ever leave, if so I’ll be lost
Fighting with you sometimes to have you here all the time, is worth the cost
Your presence keeps me winning
I continue with you because you are not my end, you are my beginning, fresh
Like the strawberries you left me on my front step <3