College
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College
Is always a prominent weight on my shoulders
Is a monster hiding under my bed waiting… waiting… waiting.
College
Is always a prominent weight on my shoulders
Is a monster hiding under my bed waiting… waiting… waiting.
College
Is always a prominent weight on my shoulders
Is a monster hiding under my bed waiting… waiting… waiting.
beauty is perpetually imperative to my existence.
i pride myself on the fact that i can view even the ugliest things as breathtaking and groundbreaking,
Yes, I was excited
to go to a new school
I was ready to move on
to move past high school
and meet new people
A roommate, how fun I thought
(but) by the end I would be distraught
Tired eyes wander over foggy plains, unfocused but searching.
The overcast sky casts a dreamy gloom over a face with sunken sockets and dry lips.
The path of a forest stream is
guided by the gentle branches of surrounding groves
meandering angles shaped by stoic roots
driven deep into the bitter earth
The path of a forest stream is
guided by the gentle branches of surrounding groves
meandering angles shaped by stoic roots
driven deep into the bitter earth
making dirt and mud their mossy home.
Numb, I try to get up but I sit blank.Can’t blink so I pinch myself, -“ok I’m awake.”It’s crazy, -sober or not I was wired to hallucinate.Shake it off like it’s just from bein up so late.
This world will
eat you alive
do Not let it.
this world will
chew you up and spit you out
do Not let it.
you
can make it
you will make it
I will make it.
Ask to walk toward shadows.
Look again and behold.
They ought not be lovers right?
Guardians of blessing, distracted by admission.
Clever art carved by passers-by is no doubt
My mom is my biggest inspiration.
She's been to hell and back again and again.
Following the systematic lifestyle that she was "destined".
Her support is unfaltering, Her love is unwavering.
Plant a kiss
On whoever’s forehead you can
Without awakening
The more goodbyes the better,
But too many
On those who care too much
If I had to choose if I’d rather have the world end in fire or ice, I would choose ice.
At least for now.
If I had to choose if I’d rather have the world end in fire or ice, I would choose ice.
At least for now.
This is just to say
I do not want
to see you again,
for you suck
as a “quote” father
this you’ll never
admit, but the
I fell for you like the rain;
Gradually and slowly in almost an intricate pattern.
Where the drops are unnoticeable and cease to affect the worlds balanced ways.
Dear Parents,
You raised me from a babe
It’s something I don’t know why you would put yourself through
But you did it for me and for that,
Traumatized
Shaking, Crying
not leaving home
because the nightmares keep following you
Keys in your fist
Pepper Spray in the other
The raised back of retracted scribbles
On any worn out page,
reminds me of my old scars-
Embarrasing and unerased.
I’m so independent,
I could attend my own funeral
and bury myself in the dirt.
“Here lies Isabella,
she died as she lived-
too afraid to ask to be carried.
Her folded legs left her unmarried,
Florence made it easy
to sing a somber note,
I’ve scratched off my eyelids-
I hate each song I wrote.
I hear twisted words
Like leaves on a vine.
Words jumbled through punctured ears,
Words people dine
upon.
Vicious, rapid, jumbled they sing.
They catch a flying bird
And twist its wing
Staring in a reflection
Waiting to be submerged
Outside in the world of life
Things are feeling disturbed
At least things look so clear
In the reflection that I see
Hospital Operator How Can I Help You
I need
One Moment
to talk to my friends.
How Do You Spell That?
I need
One Moment
to stop feeling
Too much sunlight can kill a rose
Too much water can kill a rose.
Not enough sunlight can kill a rose.
Not enough water can kill a rose.
Too much and not enough.
That's always the problem, isn't it?
And here I go again
Off to the books
Soon I'll be weeping on them
Wetting the very pages I hungrily eat through in October
I'll miss how the sun felt on my skin
When my calcium bones fell from their gums,
I felt Calliope rooting daffodils in the bottom of my throat;
drowning my lungs, as the morning light comes.
She told me to skip my rain coat,
So Zeus, you claim to be the man
A man who has slain as many of
His enemies in the football field as
He do to the women who are “blessed” to sleep in his bed.
Game day had fallen upon the land
The hiss, the boo, the cheers, the joy incoming
And with the audience in his hand
Was Hercules a football star upcoming
With a mighty golden lion as his mascot
What on earth is sleep?
Dining hall food and ramen.
I think I've gained 20 pounds.
Food, Coffee, Cry.
Narcissus was cursed
He could only love himself
He made friends with the frat boys
They loved themselves as well.
Narcissus went to parties
and bragged about his muscles
He tried to pick up women
Alone in the dark, yet brave
Given the power, you've adapted and slaved.
to the hateful men, and the judgemental stares.
They've taken your innocence
And turned you into tears,
No one can make your dreams come true
A thought provoking message from me to you
If I want to make an imprint on society
Zoom!
New York City Streets
New home
Honk!
Suburban boy meets Urban jungle
Zip!
College is real
No one to save you
Alone
in a sea of people
No-body to talk to
but God
My life finally at full-volume
The city echoing back
the bright flicker beats of
a genuine smile
I shed excess layers like
a spring sweater
Yes, I’m scared. Yes, I’ve always hated change.
But it’s time. Independence, growth & a fresh start is on its way.
A brand new state with no one I know in sight.
A campus I have only been to once.
Before I knew it,
or had time to finish blinking
or taking a deep breath,
blue caps fell down around me
and those I have known for so long -
our tassles glittering in the fluorescent lights,
I was always a colorful child growing up
My favorite color wasn’t consistent
My mom wouldn’t trust me to dress myself most of the time
Storms pass by,
like every tide comes in.
As the world revolves,
a day goes by.
From winter to summer
I grow older
year by year.
now highschool has come and gone
and my life starts
High school good days,
snickering in the hall ways,
Laughing in the locker room,
Bathing in perfume,
Running late to class,
Just bothering enough to pass,
Now on to college days,
I look back at my freshman year
Blind and as ignorant as can be
To believe there was nothing to fear
My mind was exposed as far as I could see
Pre-K to graduating high school and I never really settled on what I wanted to do. I felt embarrassed and stupid for not knowing what would become of me. All my friends and classmates were ecstatic and had plans for the future.
Lost in a dark forest
light is seemingly out of reach
Twists, turns, and stumbles
staying down is easy
A hand reaches out
then more and more
You grab hold
One step at a time
Her love is a warm and unconditional gift, I cherish her heart, knowing it’ll never shift. She kisses me goodnight and tells me goodbye, Her voice is my favorite lullaby. My heart ached when I had to leave, But I yearn for the phone calls that I
Debris of friendships:
Tomboy dressed obscure, playing sports while being coy.
Girls were damsels, drama queens which I was no part of: you won’t catch me.
He is thirteen
Navigating school hallways and people and the nooks and crannies of his developing body
But one thing he can't figure out
Is what's wrong with him
Don't be alarmed
Your hearts in the right place.
Don't be scared of making a mistake.
I grew up in a small town
Where everybody knew my name.
When I was young I yearned to live more
and spread my wings and fly away from this place
Looking back that seems crazy
This town has made me who I am
Perspiration and butterflies
Trembles of anxiety
Drowning in blue with tangled chords-- annoying
Heavy metal hung around my clammy skin
3,000 miles is a lot
3,000 miles is a lot to move away
from the normality and reality of your everyday
life, the start of a new routine
even a new wardrobe
which is a teen girls dream
Walking along the halls
Like any other day
Going to the band room
To melt the stress away
I see my band director
Doing a normal task
I walk on over to him
Off you go, daughter
To a land of your own
For you and yours
To glow, and grow
I love you, and I love you too
Your not a kid anymore!
That's what everyone is saying
You're all grown up now,
The day you hold your first set of keys in your hand,
I hadn’t realized I had grown.
I feel mostly the same.
I look mostly the same.
But I think something has changed.
Now that I'm a "grown-up," it's time for me to go to college.
College is a canyon of mountainous buildings, each marked with a letter of the alphabet,
Each made up of halls, upon halls, upon halls, upon halls...
When I was a kid, I acted like one
Just did things so I could have fun
At the time there was nothing wrong with it
Although I would get into trouble, just a bit
As I got older, my mindset began to alter
Maybe you should just try to let them in Try to let them see that you're hurting, that you're hurt by his words. He damaged her beyond repair yet here she is... brOKen. I'm okay she says, I'm fine seriously.
A Cat and a Change
Constant scrutiny and miscommunication.
The silent critic made life unbearable.
Home was ripped away again,
Hidden
Friends, old and new join together,
forming an odd kind of family.
Drunken men make moves and women
refuse until the morning.
Puzzle Pieces
The connection here is lost, unruly and static.
Trying desperately to make it work,
like putting puzzle pieces
in the wrong place.
I've created an empty nest,
Maybe it was for the best.
Life is now open, like a window without a screen.
Relax mother, it's time to rest.
I've created an empty nest,
Maybe it was for the best.
Life is now open, like a window without a screen.
Relax mother, it's time to rest.
Surrounded by books
But no inspiration,
Focused eyes
But no concentration.
Complete silence there
But so loud in my head,
Bitting my nails and pulling my hair,
my creativity is dead.
When I was younger I would always complain how I wanted to be an adult
In result I realized that was the last thing I wanted to do
Adulthood daunting, calling, taunting.Empty applications haunting.Heartbeat thudding in my chest,Through one more standardized test.
“I am so frustrated!” the pure hurt ranged through my ears.
“I am so tired of having to get stuff done all by myself.” She wept.
This was my first time seeing her break down.
She was so strong and always upheld her crown.
Swing sets and sand castles
All tied as one memory
One single drop of rain was
All it took to make me smile
And now it takes a lifetime
To make me crack a grin
Maybe I'm too old for games and toys.
College is right around the corner
IB, AP, everything's all behind me now
Tuition and money got real, but how?
Childhood gone, adulthood's an order
Gonna be living on my own
Until I was fourteen I felt fine--
Good, great, and better than
I ever knew I could feel because in the moment,
I've walked through the mist forming in the airat the moment before a rainfall, baptized by the water that carries memories of my new, and soon to be old, home;
I've walked through the mist forming in the airat the moment before a rainfall, baptized by the water that carries memories of my new, and soon to be old, home;
I could no longer order off a kid’s menu at a sea resort
Now that I was ten
It seemed almost tragic then
To have my childhood cut short
Never to be seen again.
First time in college,
I learn to adapt the surroundings
and the life as a college student,
where good comes in to play with me,
I can donate and have fun with other people.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Stop acting like you're smart.
Those statistics are all lies.
You can't trust anyone.
Stop talking to people.
You have to keep it all a secret.
Eleven ounces lighter, I stepped on the gas pedal, Eleven ounces lighter, I had to push a little harder. Breathe.Leaving home was too easy. The goodbyes were only temporary. But, what made it difficult was leaving her.
When I was born, just a small
pupa,
I didn’t know what this world
would do to me.
I was small, soft,
pliable,
And people took advantage of that.
I grew a hard
chrysalis,
It was the Thanksgiving of last year
I was with family and peers.
When my uncle came up to me and asked,
"Have you decided on your college yet?"
What’s it to you friend
If I had known you when
we made some mistakes time and time again
So let me tell you what; let me implore you the lesson
Senior year was dimmed by the coming shadow of applying to college
Countless hours in coffee shops writing essays
The alternating waves of excitement and stress
It’s all about the money
It must be right,
No chance in might,
I dont have it, then future's not bright,
So what can I do? I can't fight,
I'm no knight.
But I can make this right,
Stop this blight,
Numbers, express, fractions, percents the fear with my hands being sweaty.
Teacher asks, " Deloria what is the answer"? Of course, I freeze all I can think is zero.
Uncertainty
Solitude
Responsibility
Failure
The feeling of wanting to hide under your covers from the world
Everything changes after 18
You leave your house
What is failure?
For me, failure is unhappiness.
I want to be successful with my education to form my future.
Will my future be filled with happiness?
Or will it be filled of missed opportunities and regret?
School. Absolutely not.
"GO" I heard Him say
So Large
Too Large
"GO"
Lonely brain in an extroverted body
"GO"
I went.
Wait...
She likes the same things as me?
Days of youth containing cheerful screaming,
Hours of running and spreading laughter
Are jointly held through the room of dreaming
The place that we take care and look after
A Light dusting of snow
I know the snow can be frightening
I see your eyes as the snow turns to ice
I see the the frostbite crawl up your walls
crawl up my hand
I don't care
The jump they talk about is not literal.
They tell you that you have to jump.
To take that leap of faith.
I took that leap once.
I put my heart on the line
And I let people see my pride and joy,
Through that happy dream
Open this wide gray doorYell then step and screamWhat is this place all for?
My dreams have long been set,
Aspirations and ideas have been forming,
College, debt, stress and other things I'm not ready for yet
So many ideas inside my head swarming,
Like the sound of a million bees
Familiar sounds, my childhood grounds
But rest is far from me tonight
The voice that hounds, tension abounds
And you are far from me tonight
I try to console my anxious soul
I stumble home, inordinately tired --
Spent, drained, and reeling.
This weary mind flitters through topics
But has the capacity to linger on nothing.
Reluctantly, I've given up working,
We meet by happenstance, fate
And I cannot imagine different
The way we both create
Led to our genesis
To each their own stumbling path
Set out for us by our own choosing
I am in the throes
of the time of a young life
when all that matters is
which college I will attend.
I always say I am drawn to one.
I wish it was for the pretty
Late at night, the broken spirits sit on barstools, hunched over the counter like question marks
They ponder their place in this world
They drown their sorrows in bourbon to escape the outer flood attempting to engulf them
Hatred,
Manipulation,
Fraudulence,
Corruption.
The world we live in
Should be seen as a sin.
We walk around in a mask
She did not even know your last name
She only knew you from Psych 101
If she only knew what was to come
Little conversations here and there
She started to open up
You shine in the abyss,
A beckoning brightness beaming
Forth with advice and encouragement.
You pull me aside after class
And softly, subtly, smilingly
Smile.“I’m fine.”Smile.“Just tired.”Smile.“oh, sorry, I’ve been busy.”Smile.Smile.Smile.
It’s funny,isn’t it?How hard it is to tell the difference between a smile
What all has my mother done for me?
She's read to me, cooked for me
Made all my favorite food
And even when she was stressed from work, to me she was never rude
You taught me about me about life and everything it holds
Through the dark windy nights and days so cold
You brushed my hair and wiped my nose
While singing a song about my little toes
"Finish your apps,
get A's at school,
write all your college essays early- don't be a fool."
So much stress
is constantly
build ing.
We are born in this world
to people who want nothing more than for you to succeed
They see a purpose within you
They are the ones that fill your needs.
As I've grown into the young woman that I am
You were a general,
And we, your willing soldiers;
I knew from day one
That I would follow you
Anywhere.
You led us into battle,
Not against others but
Against ourselves.
In an era where the only feeling is time
That nurtures a budding, all-consuming longing
A never ending cycle of living, “Should it end?”
My heart is aching!
I feel torn in two.
Between who I was,
And between the new.
Away I will go
To venture afar,
Away from my love
With feelings ajar.
Can I be worried?
Dear Poetry,
Do you see?
There she goes
that innocent girl,
a rule follower and honest to a fault,
Life is trying to find the light
Throughout the years we learn to fight
At times we all may frown
We all have an up and a down
Finding themselves searching for more
Hoping for another open door
I used to believe that I was so small.
A stature quite limited to a voice that solely creaked through the walls of my own home.
A home I was unable to outgrow for many a year.
I'm afraid of heights, but that's not all.
There are no ropes in case I fall.
Now that I'm an adult it seems,
the only escape from anxiety is in my dreams.
I would love to wake up one day,
Tina, my bathroom won’t smell like your hairspray
and I won’t hear your thunder in someone else’s voice
but if your heart chooses to grow, I hope you’ll come to know
Your saliva, it resonates on my lips.
It's cold, it's wet, it reeks with the scent of your breath -
it seeps into the cracks of your skin, into mine.
I sit stiff yet you kiss and kiss.
I don't want this.
I can express myself freely no judgement required
With pen, paper and thought the words just seem to acquire
Although miles away I still have the power to inspire
Something as little as a sentence will be treasured
I’m a poster child with no more room on the wall,
And I want to be the molly ringwald of every situation.
The eyes in the back of my head hear you talking bad about me,
Darling, I want to love you the only way I know how -- like a broke college kid.
Dear my future college roommate,
I’m Camille Howard,
An absurd blackbird,
Taking my broken wings
And learning to fly.
The cieling fan runs quietly,
The hound snores at the screen door.
I sit and I chat over coffee
With a guy who can be so much more.
I enjoy these afternoon conversations.
The Life of a College Student
Hey Mom,
I am writing you from college.
You know, I came book smart, but when it comes to household chores I just don’t have that much knowledge.
Dear Swarth,
You hurt me
like a sharp, shining silver needle pricking my heart
because we all know
it hurts the most
when the pain is concentrated
all in one spot.
I love to talk. I may talk to you, or I may talk on the phone (yes talk, not text). I may even talk to myself. For me, talking is one of the most amazing things people get to do in this world!
I pray to Him, I wonder if He even hears me.
My routine:
Alarm set to wake me up at 5:00 A.M.
After I awaken, I play some tunes.
I like J. Cole, Kendrick, Tupac, Jay, Nas…
New adventures, new dreams
Personally, I do not know what to seek
The power of a flower is the power of my dream
Once again, I do not know what I seek
You can find me whole, happily
Innocence was on the verge of breaking
as the bills were paid and emotions were shaking.
The words "if only" stung the air as she breathed deeply with
You’ve been accepted
College, university
What’s a student loan?
The first two years here
Dear Professor.
It’s just a quick question,
Why can’t I press send?
Minutes and hours;
Oh! the time that I’ve spent.
Dear Mom,
Through all my obnoxious quirksYou deal with me.
College visits, time and time again
Dear Childish Bliss,
I miss you today more than yesterday.
I'm so deep in the red. It's all I see.
The weight of every bill holds me down,
Leaving me trapped this great pressure.
Dear Family,
Thank you guys for all the help,Because I really thought I was going to melt.With all the pressures that high school broughtI really felt like I was being tied in a knot.
Dear Mr. Chavez or should I say Dad?
Such great high school memories, we both had.
You made me lunch each morning, every single day.
"I don't eat that", instead of, "Thank you", I'd say.
Dear Refa,
You will not win. There's not much more to say.
The distance from home, the ice and storms - HA! I survived anyway.
You decided to step it up and violate me personally.
Honor-level classes, need new glasses
Midterm crunch, all I can think about is lunch
Undecided majors, driving dangers
Drivers license test in 2 weeks, feeling meek
Not enough time in the day, losing my way
A poem to my parents as I leave for college
At 1 year old you took me to daycare,
The first time being away from me since birth
My dearest sweet, I long for thine hand's touch,
And are the days so distant hence and such
To not permit my hold upon thy form,
But I, with force will bring this curse reform.
I shall remind thee of the beauty kept
A Change of Me
As I pace back and forth in an empty room
where once was never empty and always full.
And it goes like this:
How do you go on with that empty chest?
Emptiness so strong you can feel the gaping hole tear bigger and bigger as you walk down Wisconsin Avenue.
Is it worth it,
For people to only know me by my "shyness",
My looks,
My sarcasm,
Not even knowing my name
Or my brain for that matter
And how I know that
Dear Panthers,
It all is ending, fading away.
I want nothing more than to stay
In this moment with those I know,
But this town has no more space for us to grow.
Dear twenty-seventeen
there's a lot of things you showed me
like how time can move so slowly
then get faster than you'd like
there's a lot of things that happened
like my highschool days at home
Entry for January 11, 2018
Dear diary,
The dust bowl mind swirls
Through the head of the freshman
As next term awaits.
Sincerely,
Dear Pompa,
We miss you down here. I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone’s silence, but I do.
they say we don't write letters
but I wrote 'em
just last year
christmas alone
the only thing I wanted was to speak
but he was
cities
towns
states
Dear Destroyer of Motivation,
You are a shapeshifter. A manipulator.
You can appear harmless,
like a sweet humming in my ear.
You can be found anywhere.
In phones, my bed, the stars.
You are limitless.
Dear Mo,
If only I didn’t have to write this letter
Or say these words
Life would look a lot sweeter
It would taste like the ripest mango we’ve ever shared
Yet here I am
Here we are
January 6, 2018
Mr. Addme Toyourlist, Assistant Dean of Admission
University of My Dreams
1 Inspired Way
I’m so close to the end.
I dread,
and dread,
and I agonizingly dreaded
to go to that school
all these years.
Dear Me:
You’re finding steps where steps didn’t used to be
I admire that, I really do
Days have gotten harder and you’re still
Finding smiles where you couldn’t
There isn’t a rhyme scheme anymore
Pain in the Ass
From the moment I was born I have been
a complete pain in my mothers ass,
literally, red faced and over eager to escape
where I came from, I broke her tailbone.
Pain in the Ass
From the moment I was born I have been
a complete pain in my mothers ass,
literally, red faced and over eager to escape
where I came from, I broke her tailbone.
Hi
I'm 18 years old
Or should I say 18 years young
But old enough for to know my rights and wrongs.
It doesnt mean I always do what's right.
We are competitors
Everyday at the mark of 7:10 AM,
the bell chimes for our competition to begin
We compete for the front seats to take better notes
We compete for the back seats to sleep discreetly
surrounded by Algorithms,
overwhelmed with Anxieties and Lies.
she forgot to greet the Day;
she forgot her Purpose to survive
I should get an Olympic gold medal, since
Every day I hear that we’re all so smart.
Experts at graphs and charts,
Eyes so small,
Dear Jeffrey Mark Spencer
I thought I could forget you
The empty parking lot at Irvings and missed phone calls long forgotten
It even became a joke to us
I live in a house full of fostered kids who have problems, which is also known as a group home. Which is a house that’s run by the state, the government, the system…whatever you wanna call it.
Anyways.
Dear 15-year-old Bellla,
College is rad. College is bomb.
I am having the time of my life at Arizona State.
Why did I have to wait?
My classes are going very well.
My friends are swell.
Dear College
Why are you so expensive
The costs to go is quite extensive
My future studying will be intensive
I hope the finals aren't comprehensive
Sincerly,
A broke college student.
To the boy who swept me off my feet in less than a day,
I just want to say,
It's so hard to put my feelings at bay
When I have to see you everyday
From now 'til May.
So tell me your secret way,
Dear College,
I've heard a lot about you.
People say you're great, a real relationship,
so much better than high school.
But I'm scared.
Really scared.
I love to talk.
I may talk to you
Or,
I may talk on the phone (talk, not text).
I may talk to myself.
Another college party, same faces, same games,
Another night she wouldn’t remember, not what she said, not any names,
Her red hair was shiny, and her lips were glossed,
Apply.
Cry.
Repeat.
Apply.
Cry.
Repeat.
Applying to college,
Seems so awfully trying,
While I’m whining,
About something that seems,
So distant.
I’m stuck here alone and broke, just my luck,
What can I say? Growing up sucks,
I’m getting fat because all I do is snack,
Don’t grow up, it’s a trap,
Love.
A crazy little thing.
It sets our hearts aflame, makes us brighter, radiating stars in the crowded galaxy of existence.
Because I love you
I will uplift you everyday
Because I love you
You will throw any negative connotations about yourself away
You are beYOUtiful
Yes in your own way.
Friends are your soulmates too.
In this life, we are taught to feel as though
we need to be filled to continue to flow.
The words of our loved ones can
encourage our growth,
but what happens when that
isn't necessarily so?
I can feel that it's going to rain
Yet I don't reach for an umbrella
It's the calm before the storm that I really love
Yet our storm has already happened
And now it's the after affects that haunt me
Holding your face
I calm you down tonight
Chaos happens outside the bedroom at the party
A typical college night
It's quiet inside the room
Just the two of us in the world
We search, seek, and destroy for distractions.
Unfulfilled in distant lands…400 years still aint home.
Bronze fingers.
I'd be lying if I said there is nothing I'd ever want
Can't hide this frustration, it's talent is to haunt
Here are some things I will never ever get
No matter how hard I try, life won't ever let
I love you like no other,
When I'm around you I stutter,
My heart starts to race,
You can see it on my face,
That I genuinely care about you.
I give my all to you and you do the same,
I’m not the sort of girl that gets the boys
And that has mostly been ok
They’re just extra noise
I naturally walk another way
But this year I am changed
They call eighteen adulthood
Because I love you,
We should agree on what matters,
And not care about our ideas,
On kings and mad hatters.
Because I love you,
We should speak with grace,
And not yell at each other,
Time is ticking away
and in the blink of an eye everything has changed.
Those friends you once knew
each on their own path
so that when you meet it is
"Hey long time no see."
Princess
Dainty Protected
Reading Scrolling Painting
Gives the Wi-fi Password
Rapunzel
Once upon a -
Ugh! You know how that goes:
"A princess finds her true love,"
In one day...gross.
No one ever stops to ponder
The "antagonist" if you will.
Our stories are stronger
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A doctor, astronaut, vet, famous
A million thoughts race through the young girl's mind
Are you ready for your first day of school
it smells like it's going to rain
the air outside, despite the sun, suggests a downpour
of golden droplets onto my head and hands
healing drops to help me realize
Coming home to a quiet house
Lights are out
Lights are out
Eating dinner at an empty table
All alone
All alone
Once upon a time there lived a belle.
Who could not withstand living in a world which seemed as a forbidden hell;
So she wept and slept the suffering away--
Her name was sleeping beauty.
There was an evil stepmother named Tuition
Her daughters Loan and Debt were on a mission
My Fairy Scholarship broke the fall
And I met my Prince Degree at the ball
But when the clock struck 12 I lost ambition
i’m focused the
Computer not
comprehending
whether or not i
am truly thinking
about what i am
We think we are invincible, trusting our bodies to extreme levels
Holding our drinks to be downed before daylight while sucking out the moisture from our skins
in the cold, damp moonlight
I’m sitting here
In a fairly comfortable leather-coated office chair
Surrounded by grey walls
Grey walls that neither excite nor inspire
Grey walls that match the color of brain matter
Once upon a time the three little pigs.
The three little pigs were old enough to go to college.
I'm making wishes,
but I still didn't do the dishes
Who would've thought
that 11:11 is all I've got?
Am I in lust?
or will it turn to dust?
The moon shines bright
I'm in love
In love with an America
That has raised me
so tenderly
who gave me
my innocent childhood,
my love for robots,
my passion to change to world.
And Yet
in lieu of a new administration,
america's young immigrants are facing a sort of... frustration.
through broken occasion and high school graduation,
by hell and high water and maturation,
They say “Dream Big!”
That any dream is possible if you work for it.
So you value yourself and your worth on becoming that dream.
And without realizing it, it doesn’t seem like a dream anymore.
You can’t win quite
As much as you lose
No- not a game, a talk, a song
Everything I’ve experienced
Has stuck with me like a dream
Taught to remember,
College is always the main goal,
But funds have been low.
Middle class falling behind,
The average child's bright hope dies.
smoking a cigarette
is like feeling like you're getting away with something.
a strange collegiate
spoke so softly,
College. Death.
Sheer dropoff, cliff
A black abyss
Never return, no one's ever come back
Disappeared, never heard from again
Move on, other people
What a gift you'll be to some
I woke up to the acceptance of ignorance and hate
To people telling me to get over the feelings in my blood, the history it carries didn’t matter
This Nation
America
Claims to be Learned
But We Cannot Find a Way
To Give Our Children the Education They Deserve
From Elementary School we can see the funds are Preserved
Somewhere Else
Everyday. Sometimes
new. Sometimes
borrowed. Chaotic.
Occasionally smooth.
Now. Never.
Ticking. Slowing.
Expensive. Dept.
They say that Home is where the heart is.
That may be well and good,
But truth be told,
As I grow old,
I think they misunderstood.
My heart resides with family, with lovers, and with friends.
Do you remember how it felt when the wind blew
pleasantly brushing your hair side to side?
It's a comforting feeling,
a feeling that one can appriecate,
Even though it is not expected.
Hello? Open your eyes
Do you not see how talented you are?
God-gifted and yet
you still fuck up this far?
Open your mind
Do you not see that you have this thing called
P O T E N T I A L
My proclamation?
This is what I've got;
My motivation?
Consider it shot;
My concentration?
Lost it on the spot;
My procrastination?
Worse than you thought;
My generation?
Numbers spell out the date.
Dates used for deadlines, or else dead.
So no time to idle, no time to waste, no time to wait.
Wait for those special moments.
Moments in 2 0 1 6.
2
I got some boots
for a Merry Christmas
they are short and green
just what I wanted
The boots, they match my college jacket
I love to match
I will look so cute
walking on campus
I got some boots
for a Merry Christmas
they are short and green
just what I wanted
The boots, they match my college jacket
I love to match
I will look so cute
walking on campus
Three hundred and sixty-five days ago,
I didn’t see,
I didn’t know.
Now my path seems so much clearer!
Time speeds up,
fate draws nearer.
With college approaching
My sanity needs coaxing
Musing my future-
A dry, beguiled form of humor
Waiting. Debating. Suffocating.
It's the epitome of a plight
They say is only finite
Moving away from our families
Coming to a new city that no one knows
We all go through agony
Eventually it will all be ok, we suppose
A Cadet in college takes another sipalong with his brothers so why would he quit?Sitting on a bean bag having the time of his lifehe'd drink away his problems and wouldn't think twice.
I'm not the me I used to be
And this is not good news
Top of my class to barely making a C
I have the college blues
I'm not the daughter I used to be
I used to make them proud
Bring your glasses cleaner
your ketchup
your boots
your markers
your jar full of candy
Be careful, vanilla hero
When I left home
A short five months ago
I had my priorities set
And was not prepared to roam
College was what I had prepared for
Before I knew the alphabet could rule my life
Your choices are what make you
If that's the case, I'm made of poor decisions and frequent fears
I'm a half-hearted concotion of anxious sweat and tears
I tear, gnash at the things that pull me back
Finding Myself Across The World.
Easy.
Apply for study aroad program.
Get accepted.
Apply for loans.
Rejected.
Cry in front of financial aid.
Accepted.
Arrive in Alnwick.
Expected.
Only yesterday feeling eight or three,
But here I am, turning seventeen.
So many changes have happened in the past year,
Free
That was
The promise
Graduation
Brought to the table
Freedom to be myself
Opportunity for growth
For both myself and the nation
After a year of moving forward
The future is coming, it’s closing in, it’s imminent
Be prepared, figure it out before the rest
Decisions made now affect the rest of my life
The year is 2012 and I am not okay
The cinderblock walls suffocate me
As I listen to everyone around me
They're talking, they're talking
Talk, talk, talk
An endless symphony of gossip and jokes I don't get
You told me to be strong
To make my own decisions
Until my independent choices
No longer fit your selfish vision
But I have seen the truths
Time passing
slowly, slower, slower still
senior sweatshirts
caps and gowns
graduation gifts
beach days
each day a little slower
yet a little faster
COLLEGE
I found my real friends
Marketed an iPad app
And stressed for college.
(What's new?)
"Boston"
A song
By Augustana
Ten years old,
But only relatable for one.
"Oh it has begun"
The new year,
The pressure
For the future.
I needed
A direction.
You would think people in college have a passion,
Spending time and money, you feel destined
I pursued and graduated with a BA in fashion,
But alas, my motivation has all but lessen.
Editing my resume,
searching for the buzzwords,
what will leap off the page?
“Tell me something about yourself.”
Where to start?
I need a paycheck,
I toiled for four years writing essays,
i didn't start this year at a park late at night, shouting rebellion and revolution, not this time. no, i started this year in an illegal 2002 honda civic without brakes, skidding through red lights & stop signs in downtown portland.
I traded my sorrows for a pretty face
And a bottle
I traded my sorrows for him
And a cigarette to my lips
My sorrows were replaced
Ever changing into someone new
Must be life’s way of saying “boo!”
Out of the house and on my own,
I don’t want to take out another loan.
I’ll make things work.
The momentum that comes to mind.
in the blink of an eye.
When your future and past combine.
in a spark of time.
That your life will be affected.
Its known as a crime.
When you're the one suspected.
Eyes are heavy,
Lies always ready.
Stressed to a degree,
Messed up to a T.
Plans a mess,
What to do with the rest.
Study hard,
Sound like a bard.
Grades are in,
Finally, a win.
These classes are higher than stormy waves,
And are taught at such a hasty pace!
I know, the teacher never promised me all A’s,
But will they offer very little grace!
The future follows behind me with a stern look and a jagged plea
As competition constantly stares back at me.
In the past year I battled the fists of friend crusades
Because of the stabs of pending test grades.
Change
Measured in what?
In seconds/minutes/months/years/who we are
Versus who we were
Versus how long it has been
They say high school is the best time of your life
But it made me hate myself
I compared myself relentlesly
To my friends who always seemed superior
I thought they had it all together
2016 sucked.
It started bad, got worse, and ended on an all time low.
Not for sympathy or epathy but just so you know,
not only has my mental health declined
but my motivation has flatlined.
What do you want to do with your life?
What is your major?
How do you like college?
Large family gatherings on breaks
I want to teach.
This poem from beginning to end
Is all of me, now and then.
My Past indescribable as it can be
Was not so sad you see.
It’s complicated really,
How I used to define the word complicated.
A year ago if you asked me what I wanted,
I am am a warrior who never stops fighting I am a proud Mexican female who is not afraid to show her roots I am courageous and piercing despite my accent
My childhood was more than average.
Happiness and fun seemed endless
Bits of insecurity on the inside started gathering,
and with my young mind gave me limits
Three, two, one...
I dive straight in, and I hear
the commotion and clouds of confetti,
I come up in a new year.
Seat belt, please -
Anxiety, nervousness,
I woke up on the the first of January, single, but what else was new?
Then I realized that 2016 was the last of a few;
years called high school that everyone loves to remember,
Senior Year: Second semester
College freshman: Second semester
Prom, graduation, ditch day, freedom
Fear, home sick, scared, broken
A year of love and excitement
Peruse online for scholarship after scholarshipScrolling through opportunity for leadersLeadershipThe system praises it but at every moment the system oppresses it.We are taught to sit down and shut up. To be quiet and respectful.Tell me, what lea
January cold crept into the air like a thief in the night,
But who knew what turning 18 could do?
Perhaps it might be met with either fright or delight,
Or could it be something completely new?
I planted myself in a garden,
this year.
And not just any garden,
but a garden of
overwhelming light
& overflowing water.
Overconfident and unstructured,
Never having been pushed to my limit,
Thinking about my potential future,
And all that came with it.
On the rocks within a course in which I had it all,
From left to right and back again they swing:
The golden disks, the pendulums depended.
Indifferent to those who onward tread,
They click in perfect time, in time unending.
1460 nights agotogether,
we sit
on top of a stranger’s washer and dryer
our legs swing
our hearts pound
I'm a Jew, this is true,
So no, the year is not new,
I'm still in my year, our calendar goes by the moon.
It's going alright, I haven't heard back from the University yet,
In the beginning, I felt like dying
Everyday was the same filled with my constant sighing
I could not bring forgiveness to myself
I am alone
I settled for someone who only brought me stress
To those who wait
It is hard to think
That one day
all this is not going to matter
The parties
The boys
The grades
One day
You will forget about this
There was a time not so long ago
When my mind was like a ball of yarn
Tightly wound
Thread upon strict thread
And I was certain of one thing:
My shape would not change
And I would remain as I was
I think I slept through the first half of this year –
I can barely remember the way my hands fiddled waiting for
college acceptances. At my senior prom, I slow-danced
with my crush. He told me he was joining the army
If only you were here,
You would have been able to kiss me goodbye
Wish me luck and try your best not to cry
As I drove off to learn and live alone
Instead, I had to tell your tombstone
If only you were here,
I was me.
Innocent and sweet,
Full of excitement for a new adventure.
A new school, new people to meet,
Sitting through a lecture.
I was me.
Sitting at a party not knowing the company,
Anxiety. Fear. Panic.
My world is about to make a complete 180
Just make it through graduation without being manic
You did it. What’s next? You’ll have to do your best
I am alone now. Time to make my own way
I was raised in a town where everyone was the same shade of unaccepting and indifferent.
Every person was the same wash of “keep quiet”, “don’t talk back”, and “you’ll never make it”.
This rose-colored light was not installed by my hand
yet I followed it because it was the only light
Till I decided I wanted my own bulb
Dim at first it grew brighter with each day
Fear held my hands in chains
This past yearI went from living in fearOf where is my next mealTo getting a job Between school and workI work seventy hours a weekSometimes I wake up weakAnd I sleepIn class
I pass by eight doors on the way to my dorm room
Each one holds someone unknown and daunting
In an action full of fear and hope, I leave my door open.
As I slowly unpack, the unthinkable happens
I do not speak of the over amplified notion
The one with the birds and the bees and all of that commotion
...
I speak of an emotion
The one felt amidst the commotion
....
A new city
twenty sixteen and moved out at seventeen
seventeen and get my own rent paid
seventeen and grew my eyebrows out and slayed
seventeen and moved to another state
seventeen and two jobs, full plate
Last year was my cocoon
The warm, silky woven threads of time nourished the person i was
Day by day i grew in my delicate womb
Mistakes strengthened every layer of my fragile home
They only made me stronger
College can be fun
But, paying for it is not.
While everyone else is enjoying the warm sun,
I am out trying to find and recreate antiques to put in our antique store to sell, it’s a long shot.
Can you hear me now,
As I call through the cloud
The memories of the year that has past?
The memories of joy
The memories of tears
The memories of death
The memories of life
Elated and euphoric as I read 23/25 at the top of the page
YES YES YES
Worthy and filled with pride
Momentarily
The shortlived victory is overshadowed by the BURN that fuels and torments
I believe that many say, time changes
It molds, grows, shapes, scrapes,
You
I, with tired limbs, heavy eyes, a crazy sleep schedule
No Thank You.
I don’t want the stress.
Senior year, college too
No Thank You.
I can’t deal with it.
Not all of the work.
I'm 20 years old and life's starting to change.
Apartment in January because I'm moving away.
With that comes debt. That's why I'm taking out loans.
$600 a month and if that's not paid, then the doors close.
I transferred collegesThat was fun
Except I stick out like a sore thumb
I came from an all girls school
With LGBT friends
Concerning College...
He said, please don’t get stuck like me.
Go, reach for the stars. Do it. Please.
It’d do my heart good, to see you succeed.
Get out of this place, go, be free.
We play by each rule. We
Stay in school. We
Study late. We
Wake Up By Eight. We
Review for Test. We
Do our best. We
Write
Write
Write
essay after essay
I'm almost there
just a little bit more
annnnnnd
there
I made it
now what?
where do I go from here
Today is the day
I have a date today
With a guy who just seems great
He is just like me in countless ways
We have the same order at Subway
Having been accepted into a college-prep high school,
The exhilaration spread through my body like sparks.
Enrolled as a dual student in a community college,
For once, I have never felt so desperate
judging myself for what I am destined to be.
Most don't find themselves until
it is no longer expected from them.
I am afraid to wait too long.
My soul is like a peace of paper; white and light and soft and new.
My friends are like the pages; close enough to feel the pain, but like a page they too can turn away, who new.
This year was hetic
Unbelievable
Astonishing
Full of new vocabulary
12th grade year
Is a waste of time
Apply
and
Apply
for more school
for needed money
Apply
It's getting to me how I'm much closer to strangers than my mama How if my eyes are unfocused in the morning, I could easily grab one of my three roommates toothbrushes How I can't hear my sister's snores from the bedroom next door But the girl
funny how im over a hundred miles from home
yet when i see a scholarship
i remember why i came to school
The last year turned my life aroundInto something new and unexpected. My sixteenth birthday was a turning pointWhen life got quite a bit more serious. Leaving to college in only a couple of years
Catching the first wave of the day
A feeling that makes me wanting more
Beating friends to the next tunnel
and getting in the middle of a misty spitter
Typically when I'm stressed,
I try to focus on things that cannot be changed.
Even though my entire family and even some friends tell me I'm blessed,
I cannot help but to feel like I'm tied to a chain.
B-a-b
Baab
Curve, swoop up, space, curve again
Two dots below, short and sweet
I trace it with my finger, my pencil
On my skin and my tests
Top floor bed and ladder't railing I'm brave you know
I'll exit my loft with feet facing out.
Backwards hand grip, reach back up and grab discarded socks
5:30a.m. a prude interupts my rest,
Ignoring it's demanding voice harder against you I began to press my chest,
6 a.m. the prude gets louder, and just to show him something I grab you tighter,
Maybe it's the way my cat meows...he wants his food in the morning.
Maybe it's the way-oh no, I need to know my grade on that test, how i'm scoring.
Maybe it's the way my sister tries to wear my clothes, this is my last warning.
Half past 9, I start to arise.
I'm ready for my day to begin, goodbye bed, my dear friend.
Hustle and bustle through the hall, I fear I will never get a call.
A call that says "Congratulations, you've got the job!"
When I left for college I was excited.
New People, new places, new things to do
The idea awakened the little kid inside me.
In College, it's pushed upon me...
but I just won't do it...
I've went through too much to go down that path...
Call me lame, boring...but I must do what I feel whats right.
Every day is a new day.
This only means that the sorrows of yesterday are now in the past.
What bothered me then feels so close yet so far away.
I tend to ignore my professors
and my responsiblities
and my needs
I don't shower as often as I should
I have no desire to leave my room
I'm not gonna lie
Free college makes me happy
#Here for the money
I had never had a best friend
I couldn't ever understand the concept
friends that were the "best"
were the ones that left
and that was something I just..couldn't.
So I let go of the thought
Morning
Wake Up!
A new day!
The sun shines so bright…
What time is it? 8:54…?
I have class in six minutes! Run, run, run…!
Was that due today??
My sister and I may be opposites
And fight almost all the time,
But when she packed and left for college
I couldn’t help but cry.
The sun beats down as if I’ve personally hurt it
While I’m dressed in my varying shades of grey and navy blue
Some faded from the sun and repeat wears that only the college poor can call trendy
We've all heard that phrase, "Out with the old and in with the new,"
But who knows what this change will mold her into?
Sure it will be different, it will be a new venture,
“You’ve got it easy,” says the baby boomer in the home they bought for $200,000 at 27 years old
“with your internet and mobile phones!” it says waving a college diploma through the air like a flag.
pulling out the drawers, my mind wanders
to adventures & experiences waiting for me
new friends, in a dorm room I've yet to see
you must wonder why I'm here
to get some money to study with peers
to avoid the parties and the beers
is the reason i am here
I must be honest i need some cash
because my classes I need to pass
Father as I prepare to walk this stage I wrote another poem for you
I must admit, I too have been instutionlized
This cap and gown symbolize the assimilation process being complete
Going up to children,
we ask what they want to be.
Some say doctor, policmen, firefighter.
Innocence is the real bliss.
Going up to a high school student,
we ask what they want to be.
Once upon a time I knew who I was
I thrived and flew like any bird does
I drank Earth’s air with water coursed veins
I was high above the sludge filled drains.
Activist, Conservationist, Environmentalist
Veterinarian, Psychologist, Ethologist
Poet, Writer, Singer
Baker, Designer, Entrepreneur
Mother, Daughter, Friend
[Freestyle Slam] 7/12/2016
Grave me with the words left unsaid; that drowsy night under the light pole I was waiting for a man who said had loved me.
As each day goes by there is not a hour I am not thinking about you
I can't even type this poem without tears forming in my eyes
Why did you have to do me the like that?
Listen on SoundCloud: soundcloud{.com}/jake-gillespie-6/god-bless-the-pen/s-q80Qg
(remove the {} around the dot-com)
I want to be the first
I have come far but have more to go
I hope for new friends
Upon a dandy lion I shall blow
This is the beginging not where it ends
I hope my dreams come true
I use my words because they define me
Scrambled in my brain until paper sets them free
I use my words because today, actions lead to manslaughter
Between these walls lie hope
Countless nights spent studying for English exams
Hoping to gather enough knowledge to pass
Flipping through barely legible notes
Dozens of pages of them
They make no sense
I'm not much of a creative writer.
I'm not a genius, and I'm not a fighter.
Just an average student on break going day by day,
Missing the plentiful dining hall buffet.
I sleep all day like a newborn baby,
5 A.M.
The alarm clock goes off
like a fire alarm
waking me from my dream state.
I stumble through the labyrinth
gathering my stuff and getting dressed.
We cannot even describe the way
We look at you every single day.
You, the tormentors, the ignorant, the sinners,
Yet also the popular, the loved, and the winners.
The beginning…
Their was not 1… not 2… not 3 or 4… but 5.
Vacant vessels, all scattered and lost.
All of which were bound to be together.
Empty, but with a craving for peace… love… serenity
I don’t want any more fuckboys
I’m tired of their shit
Always saying that they’ll change
While there are bitches sucking their dick
I don’t fuck with females no more
Denying that they’re hoes
Why
Why am i writing this
Why did i make an account for this random website about something i dont even like
Why do i continually do this
Making accounts for scholarships for hours on end
Sitting at a family brunch
Trying to escape the grooling questions.
How are you getting ready for the ACT?
What were your scores for the PSAT?
A college education means sitting in class
taking your tests and trying to pass.
A college education means meeting new friends
hoping they'll like you, not to their own ends.
Robert Frost said there would be two roads
but the closer I get to them
I see paths, trails, and streams you can paddle down
the problem is not which one to pick
but where am I going exactly
I sat down to write about moving on
Becoming me.
But who is me when there is only You
It doesn't feel as if I'm going
The walls are still closing in
Look here, Look there, Look everywhere
I can't stop thinking of what I do
Everytime, I overthink
It's not easy to over protect
to over analyze
to over guess
I'm tired of being afraid
Welcome to the Pack where
we run together
under the moon-lit sky,
where our padded paws
run throughout the night.
In the forest of the Pack,
community becomes synonymous
with family.
Start of something new
Never ending soon
From football and cross
Now running on the track
Oh the memories, now a loss
When I was a child, they asked me,
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A question filled with good intensions
The time has come
Most are glad to be free
I on the other hand ignore the thought of being on my own
I can't handle living by myself
Knowing I will not be able to run down the hall when I have a nigtmare
College: a special type of hell
Where you are stuck between homelessness and education.
That time where you are thrust into the world
Don’t cry for me mama, because you know I jumped for joy,
When I was rejected from your Ivy League school,
From a study that would bring security and down my world,
Hitting a brick and cannot find my way.Financial issues is hitting a dead end.Teased to point that nothing in life matters.On the brick of light of life.
Where is my American Dream?Lost? Found? or Neither?
Between these walls lie hope
A special place
Hope of one day achieving a dream
Perhaps a piece of paper with your name on it
Art is a passion not meant for a career,
Art is a gift I hold most dear.
Close to my heart it's all I can give;
Defining my soul-I need it to live.
But the future is coming, and coming down fast
You started out as a canvas
That my thoughts and dreams flowed freely through
A million dances
The meaning behind the view
I fell in love quite quickly
I wrote for fun
My pen lies thickly
The early morning found us
sitting on your
tattered, burgundy, mattress cover.
Me, focused and writing.
You, scatterbrained and distracted.
You reminded me of our lives at seven.
I've planned my whole life.
I'm always looking ahead.
I've forgotten the present.
I have to stop
And look around me
look behind me
slow down
breathe
study
I can’t live without you
I’m not ready to give you up
Dad
You have to be there for me
I remember the night I called mom
In tears and you answered. I’m sorry
What moves you?
having gravity on the globe from which we walk upon
having opportunity to move around and make the world going around
What moves you?
The old wooden door creaked as it opened
And it reminded me of the sound of my bones.
While I watched you walk in
My knees shook, almost as much as my hands, as I listened to the only sound I could hear:
It's 2 a.m., I have an exam.
My heart beats through my chest.
I'm in tears; can't get any rest.
I dial the number for Pam.
Mother's phone rings
someone answers, unfamilar.
I must have the wong number.
Ah, the...”age old” question.
If you suddenly became Tom Hanks
in one of the movies that he surely has pasted onto his résumé by now,
but you got to take one thing with you,
what personal item would you take?
Oh, when will I see the mountains once more?
I want to feel the crisp air on my face.
The day I had to leave them my heart tore.
At my home there is not such a fast pace.
I could live without a phone.
I don’t need an Instagram,
I don’t rely on siri.
I could live without electricity.
The sun and moon shall light my way,
Chocolate rolled curls and a wide bridged nose
Your absence invokes poignancy in me
And yet, I am gay at the sound of your twinkling voice
Calling me sunshine, your angel, your baby
Mindset, there
As papers and textbooks stare at me
I blink. Tired
eyes, reddened while the clock tics.
Focused, but not
As the body says "goodbye"
promising to greet me later.
You are a child's entertainment.
You are my entertainment.
They scoff at your gaudy colours,
They play you off as too innocent
for their rebellious excursions.
But I am here
waiting with you
Hold on let me think..one thing I can't live with out? Is Knowledge.
One thing I can't go without is knowledge.
Everybody knows that knowledge is power.
If we have knowledge then the world is ours!
To create something from nothing,
Is a skill that I hold,
A master chef I will be,
Or so I am told,
If I were to be left with nothing,
I would not want to forget,
My extreme love for cooking,
I need help paying for college.
Let's look at this mathematically.
Now, a good college = Time x Money.
Everybody knows that Time = Money.
So, a good college = (money)^2
I need help paying for college.
Let's look at this mathematically.
Now, a good college = Time x Money.
Everybody knows that Time = Money.
So, a good college = (money)^2
From my mothers' mouth to my unborn ears, it has always been with me.
I have a song in my heart, and it is always with me.
When the music stops playing, it is always with me.
I need an education
So I can get a job
At least that's what they say
Society, Dad, and Mom
Without college we're all stupid
Something we've all been made to believe
Food.
Water.
Love.
Hope.
People say these things keep them alive. And they do.
They make life worth living. They give hu-
mans the spark they need to continue on.
But when they’re gone,
To live without contact is to never feel a thing,
To live without humanity is to throw away compassion,
I shall never live without human contact.
I do not crave discrimination, corruption, or demoralization.
White washed walls
orange groves
basement halls
hidden coves
all these places
hand in hand
we played our hearts out
departed land
And in this dream world
I am not lost
“Have you ever heard of the power of words?”
He sounds like some sort of Jehovah’s Witness, standing there on the sidewalk with his books hugged tight to his chest, staring at her with eyes so impossibly wide.
What is the one thing I can’t live without?
This I can tell you, I‘ll tell you no doubt.
This doesn’t weigh much, of this I am sure.
It’s very useful, and this thing can cure
We all know the feeling,
When my parents saw the cost they started reeling.
Future clouded in debt,
I’ll make it through, wanna bet?
It's not something that you can touch.
It's not somehting that you can see.
It's something that you can buy.
It's soemthing that you can be.
Other people have it.
Other people but not me.
I CANNOT GO WITHOUT MY OBOE
by James Hamilton-Lugo
It's going to snow?
In case the roof caves in, where's my oboe?
I don't care about products in my hair
I just need my oboe for my flare
This room is full of delicacies want for consumption.It is world renown and with much success with coin.The scent attracts all and the sights they should please...But a problem not yet understood is revealed.
It's the first day of school,
And momma's afrad.
Afraid about me making friends,
And my toddler years coming to an end.
Now it's time for fifth grade,
And my friends don't wanna play.
Ive been thinking bout you a lot lately..Maybe a little too much..Breath stinking roaches on my tooth brush..Wishin i was on the road cooking like a food truck.no wishes grantedhate waking up now cus school sucks.. Eyes tearing up.Wish i had some
I hate how nothing good ever matters to people, never counts. You’re a straight A student, but have a D in one class: that’s what colleges will ponder on.
All I need is a brain of my own,
that is able to think, to wonder, to remind, and to roam
For if it wasn't for my brain I wonder where I would be
because the path I go down is completely up to me
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" A question frequently asked by many. Growing up I've had everything a young child could ask for. I had a stable home, a mom, a dad, and endless amounts of toys.
Tell me I am nothing
That's what everyone else does
Tell me that I am crazy for falling in love!
Call me insane, because that is how I feel
being in love when the love is less than real
There’s something about bold font
That stands out from the normal lettering
subconsciously hollering within one’s head
Because it all started with a young boy entering junior high,
The beautiful black cat,
The one I never originally picked out,
But the one I'm glad I ended up with
The beautiful black cat who sleeps with me at night,
licks my tears when I'm crying,
It's mid-February now, and soon I'll be waring the Ides of March.Then it's April showers,and waiting with bated breath for May flowers.
Curious is the babe, wide-eyed and new.
Hungry for an answer, questions they'll ask you.
A little older now, observing the world around.
More answers they seek, with new questions they've found.
Education is...
Paramount, necessary, irreplaceable
It is options, choices, empowering
If you are are deemed financially needy, you may just get a grant
Often I will find my self thinking how wonderful it would be
to take quick nap in my car in between my morning classes.
How I would like nothing more than to go swimming in a large mug of coffee
The first cry, the first laugh,
the loving look in one's eyes,
so much innocence behind,
just waiting for goodbye.
Time goes by, hearts collide,
friends and family tend to be kind,
The pressure
The anxiety
Creeping up on you
Breathing down your neck
Scholarships
Student Debt
What do I look forward to?
Meals at the caf
Sleeping in the library
Finals
"Hey it's the twins!"
We have our own names
I kept telling people
But nobody knew us by them
I hated it
I couldn't stand being identical
"No, I'm Courtney..."
They'd apologize
It wasn't too long ago that I had her,
so close to me, so willingly
but the winds of change swept her away
and just like that she was gone.
I didn't want to admit to myself,
Being with you is such a treat.
Tell me darling, how ever did we meet?
When I look into your eyes I see nothing but love.
That's when I pull you in for a sweet hug.
Nothing but you and me in my heart.
A Droplet - A Concoction of BrineFlows from the Foreboding;A Hansel of DistressA Signal of Fear.Swivels and SwervesCreeping and CrawlingClink Clank against each StrandDripping from Down Under;
If I were left on an island alone,
I would miss all the comforts of home.
I couldn't decide what one thing to bring,
An object to help me through this horrible thing.
I could pick some tarp to cover my head,
I'm in heels and a dress
I rather be in sweats
Reading a book on the train
or drinking a milkshake
yeah...
make that a large ass milkshake
chocolate with whipped creme
and extra fucking cherries
My hands are always full
I don't want to be successful
I don't want that at all
I don't want a big house
Of which I've paid off every ounce
With my supportive spouse
My shoulders hurt from studying
I can not stop I can not stop
Through the book I am fumbling
I can not stop I can not stop
My cat comes by
My water spills
My work is wrecked
My cat walks on
Chapter One. Elementary School. Easy.
Two plus two equals four. So does one plus three.
Coloring inside the lines, it's got to be perfect.
Chapter Two. Middle School.
College
Something that is supposed to help us grow.
But at the age of 17, I'm supposed to pick my career? How would I know?
Everyone gives their opinions, like one is better than someone elses.
I am...
TeenyWide-EyedImperfect
I am...
BubblyPassionateImperfect
I am...
LovingLovableImperfect
I am...
MotivatedDeterminedSuccessful
Slam
The doors crash shutThe lights flicker ofThe flesh escapes.
Slam
The tears roll downThe face turns redThe heat boils up.
Slam
Three o’clock;
A Monday morning
Fingers interlock
Your wrist crossing in the front
I look at you until you notice
And turn my attention as soon as you do
I walk with my head down
We College Kids. We
ear-buds in. We
American Dream. We
hooked on caffeine. We
procrastinate. We
stay up late. We
deep in debt. We
overslept. We
The focus of school has turned on us
Administators no longer showing student trust.
As a student I call for a change
Of a society open to not-perfect grades.
Students work hard, day and night
Starting college has been
pretty fucking hard
if I'm going to be honest with you.
Going from straight A's
to struggling for C's
when I've never had to study before this
takes a lot out of me.
My mom said monsters were not under my bed,
Just in my head.
They aren't bad but I'd rather have some friends instead.
Growing up I saw monsters in school,
Monsters at work,
Monsters who were cool,
We always knew that the day when we
split
would come.
I will always have the scars from you.
The good ones,
when we would play on your floor,
I am…
A first born
A big sister
Persuasive
Independent
Manipulative
Better than most, but definitely not the best
A first generation college student
A flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
Who am I?
How the hell am I supposed to know?
For 17 years I was told who to be and where to go.
Things have changed, I’m and adult now (or so they say.)
Stumbling through life, trying to find my way.
I am alone
I am scared
I am calling home and waiting for the weekend
I am trying strange things
I am meeting new people
I am joining clubs
I am breaking my shell
I am enjoying new things
Imperfection. That means flawed.
Doing all that you can day in and day out,
living the struggle.
They see you trying, they don't see you crying when you are staying up late after work.
Everyone says that college
is all about drinking.
That college
is all about sex.
They say college
is the time to party,
Their little girl’s grown
And the years have progressed-
I’ve been tested, questioned, and asked to express
What I feel and how I should react
And now it’s time for the second act-
Mad, sad, glad,
is always the right time for Chocolate.
I am the flavor of all love,
of all rejoice, and all morn.
I give people the fulfilling feeling in their tummies
Montanna is the name, procrastination was always my game,
I would never learn until it caused me stress and insane pain,
And indeed this fall semester I procratinated and it was a no gain,
I am
a little off
never quite
fitting in
mildly autistic
a little bit artistic
my childhood acidic.
I am young
the first time
I say I
wanna
die.
Soaring through the waxwing slain
One sound, one bearing
None to fight the slain waxwing feign
No contortions and no appobations of collegiate youth
but the mere understanding of what
it is
How am I, you ask?
How's college?
[You pestering aunt,
You family aquaintance
I would rather stare at a wall than make casual conversation]
Well
There are two answers here
They said junior year was the most difficult
Well they were surely wrong
Yes the spring of SAT's and college visits were strenuous
But senior year was strong
My first priority was cross country
Seventeen: Ten thousand voices grab me and swing me through the Autumn air as I try to figure out how I got to this college campus.
I remember when you walked into the room
Your eyes touched mine, then flicked away without a second glance
Honestly i didn't know anything could be so good
Then you spoke and my world crashed and scattered
She said it wasn't easy
but also that it couldn't be done.
I felt like i didn't matter
but in this familial war i've won.
She said I was nothing
But now i've proved her wrong.
The College Board.
What a horrid name for an
equally
horrid institution.
It decides our
futures
based on the experiences of our
pasts
to guide our
presents.
It presents us
Who am I?
I am shy
But around my friends I am loud.
I am smart
But sometimes not so much.
I am funny
But it is mostly myself that thinks that.
I am young
Another year
I go to school.
Another year
I see my friends.
Another year
I lose sleep.
Another year
I am educated.
Another year
I am anxious.
Another year
being a mom isnt easy
being a student isnt easy
but i love it so it makes it easy
i wouldnt change it for the wolrd
did i mention being single
living on my own doesnt make that easy
A year in and it still feels fresh
yet smells like last fall's rain.
The grass is cut the same but new
feet treck across the green carpet.
Familiar faces line pathways
weaving between brick buildings.
We put our things away, it was no longer time to play. We had our fun, now our summer is away. Though summer, I wish, would stay. Its crippling debt that makes me say so. Other wise Ide give winter time more of a go.
I am unstable. I am fine. The dark eyed boy in Physics says I'm a dime. He is audacious to call a quarter a dime.
The city of Los Angeles
It draws you in with a hope for glory,
A chance to truly improve your story,
Yet as you walk the city streets
You hear the sound of a thousand feet
Telling you, "It's not your day.
Influence was imminent.
Inspiration was infinite.
Fun, love, bonds, ties, cries.
Games, hugs, secrets, thruth, lies.
Support and morals drilled in my head.
Look up to a roof, come home to a bed.
Sticky, pale fingers
Black hair a mess
Limbs of no descernable length
Tangled around a fence
Mirthful laughter
Reddened cheeks
Sneaking the fruits
Behind the shed
I met a boy
on the outskirts of campus,
playing a game of frisbee.
his eyes shined like oceans
shimmering in the very depths
of the beauty in
the place mermaids call home.
No, I don’t know
I don’t know if I did “good” on the test.
I don’t know if the teacher liked my essay.
I don’t know what my grades are.
I don’t know why I’m sad all the time.
Mariah
Sure, that's me.
That is my name.
The first thing people see.
But when they let themselves in,
And pass through the door,
When they find themselves inside,
But not finding what for,
I AM WHO I SAY I AM.
I AM A TALENTED, BOLD, AND INTELLIGENT YOUNG LADY.
PEOPLE THINK I AM BOSSY,
I JUST HAVE A GOAL SETTER MENTALITY.
College?
What does it mean?
A lot of experiences?
A simple routine?
The first year living on campus is always quite something.
You make friends, relationships,
And even some enemies.
I am heartbroken
And I am meant to be
See my heart was made for breaking
Muscle needs tears to strengthen
Pain made made me who I am
And it hurts me so much to leave
I don't know, for how could I?
I am complicated, yet want to be simple
No one can tell me who I am
For even I can't decide
I wish things wouldn't change
For good ideas are left to hang.
Changes are going on
And it is a little hard to deal
When things aren't what they were.
You don't know how to feel.
College is right around the corner
And you're the first one to attend
The tune in our ears
Some that are our fears
On the radio and live
We enjoy to jive
It keeps us in tact
The conglomeration
To listen and do some meditation
We are surrounded by it often
In circles, we go around and around
Inadvertently choosing to frown
It’s the lurking fear we just cannot face,
Starting out with four years of high school,
using your mind as your ultimate tool.
Completing your assignments and finding time for friends,
the list of memories never ends.
Though highschool's over, and proved to be grueling
I'm told that I'm not quite done with my schooling
they say change is a bad thing
I always heat "nobody likes change"
I don't find this true
I live for change
Change brings adventure and beauty and new life
Change brings new chances and adreniline
Its crazy how time flies when your having fun
In a couple months im about to be done
cant believe im a senior now past couple years just flew by like a gun
maybe i had too much fun
Go to pre-k to socialize
Go to kindergarten to alphabetize
Finish grade school to add, read, and write
Start junior high to divide, swallow history, and accept the map
Plank the desk says..
Well he says nothing
Cause I’m looking at him and covering his face the whole time
Papers, a notebook, and pencils lay over wooden lips
In a cubicle called class
High school was already a hell...
stress, late nights, and humiliation the main currency,
but at least we were free to be ourselves
-at least they had that decency.
The "crisis" for my generation;
"Pursue your dreams!" chippered voices encourage as mine pleads for guidance,
"Just do what you love."
Easier said than done in a restless world where every tune is heard except the one within.
You have a notification
Open the notification and the blue banner awakens
Grad Party Invite! Hope you can come
I hit join and press the home button skimming the posts of friends
“I got accepted today!”
You wouldn’t guess its st. patrick’s day
Not with all these faces
Frowning in stasis
Tears in our eyes
We just keep going
No recognition for one another
Only stress in our minds
Truth be told, I only saw what is real
Because my heart is an open sore that I do not expect to heal.
You see, a beaten and battered heart knows how pain feels
So it lacks all remorse when it comes time to kill.
Free
From everything I used to be
Re-writing my history
Picture by picture I’m finding me
I’m alright
My hair plain brown, my face aged with time
This is to the camera, that sees me as nothing but
Delicate bones and pearly whites
My essence captured through awkward captions and
My worth measured by likes and heart bytes
Behind the big picture
Is a small, fragile woman.
Forget the smile
And look deep into her eyes.
Her eyes tell a story.
A story of:
Danger,
Heartache,
Misfortune,
A lot of people know me as
@haleythebirdie singing "All That Jazz"
Or lockedinabirdcage
Analyzing why paper beats rock
And for those followers, I am on stage on the web when I talk
Or 15byerha
I am homeless though I have a home.
I have never spent a night at my permanent address.
It is my mom’s house, but not my home.
I am homeless though I have a home.
I have a room on campus;
Metastasizing in my grandfather was the horrific monster
The monster that has fought relentlessly to win mercilessly
Its grotesque figure has combatted many
From my granddad, to mother, to me
resposible and inpendent
preparing to my own rent
not afraid of new beginnigs
keeping my optimstic attutude, I'll never stop grinning
senior in high school
working hard not to be another misguided fool
Friday
you come home from college
full of stories describing your
drunken antics,
a new affinity for the Spanish language,
and ambitions destined to take you
far away from me.
for a moment,
Imagine a world without filters
Where people see you for who you really are
Don't worry about hiding that scar
Because that is a part of who you are
Be happy with yourself and forget what others think
We cannot become what we want to be
remaing who we are today
We wonder why as girls we bring down other girls
because we all know how hard being a girl is
Expensive makeup is everywhere
If my heart were a train
I wouldn't call her Thomas
Thomas was plucky and steady
And she feels like the shakiest thing about me.
If I'm lucky
She's on the tracks this week
Decide
its time to decide
with what you want to do with your life
fresh out of school
college bound
what would you like to do
pick a major then change your mind
Birth of new born killers
high end thrillers
sparse chances, taken with unease
beans and peas,
mark disease and
players can't see me
'cause I was never on a team
in the first dream, I ever had
Because when I woke up this morning, the first thing I did WASN'T to look in the mirror.
Because before I left this moning, the first thing I DIDN'T do was focus on what I am not.
So I've never been one for these poems and things
Writitng has never been a strong suit of mine
But I'm sick of holding back
Being the big kid, the smart kid, the one my parents never worried about
As a little boy, my mother always said I was up to no good, jumping on furniture, or running along pool sides.
A concrete prison
With the walls several stories tall,
And the durability of a bomb shelter.
It's many rooms used to shape you,
Into an ideal human being,
where your childhood dreams are smitten,
My buck teeth are beautifulThey make me look like a bunnyMy one hidden dimple is gorgeousIt pops out when something's funnyMy pale skin radiantLike ivory pearlsMy strong assertive voice
Its dark and quiet.
Except my night light that shines like a star.
Some how bringing comfort to the emptyness that seems to be lurking around the dark.
My mind begins to conclude maybe its my soul.
It's scary when you realize what's here
School is almost over
Graduation is almost here
Nothing has prepared me
College is close
How do I fill out FAFSA?
How do I win scholarships?
Searching on social media you will not find me
I'm too busy practicing all the right degrees
The filters hide my fears and flaws
Your half naked pictures should be outlawed
Erasing the impurities from my flesh
Though I study hard and long
People have questioned me all along
Adminstration always asking
And Parents always nagging
Let me choose the path I want
Let me choose the path I want
I am the future
I am a leader
I can contribute to changing the world
It starts with me, with you and I together
carmel skin that'll make ya knees weak -thats flawless
thick hips, lips and thight -thats flawless
small waist with a cute -thats flawless
southern draw real strong -thats flawless
I woke up in this body
Without any glamour whatsoever
Loving myself forever
Without idolized beauty
Sounding a little bit loopy
I woke up in this pattern
Without a round tootie
My heart drops every time I think about the boy’s body sinking to the bottom of the pool on that one, beautiful day in May.
My worries grow stronger
as the days grow longer
until the longest day of the year,
Look! Summer's here,
and it's time for me to go
When I was a child I wanted to fly
I would squeeze my eyes closed and try:
it always went awry.
Because I am female
I am flawless
I am the yin
To the yang
I create balance
In the universe
they say
loner - wierdo - freak.
i say
independent - creative - unique.
they say
her appearance offends.
i say
she doesn't hide and pretend.
they say
All my life you sang me one song,
Education.
To go to college
And gain exceeding knowledge,
That I would need to succeed,
Now you say
That I may have to stay?
For you cannot pay
It's not in the way that her hair shines
on a bright sunny day
It's not in the way her body curves
or even how much she weighs
And it's not in the way she dresses herself
Or even the the things she may say
I have strong eyes and a weak heart
I'm going to break all your laws
I have an iron fist and deadly bite
I'm going to break all your laws
I have long legs and a short temper
I am full of dreams
And aspirations, I know
I'm going places.
Picture us without
All the makeup, just our own
Intended beauty.
I hate what oppression has done for my group.
"Maybe you just haven't found the right man yet."
I hate what oppression has done for my group.
"Who treated you wrong?"
Man I love COLLEGE
college is the place where I learn
where I open my mind
where my dollar bills burn
where to get that “A” I become redefined
It is a place that can open so many doors
So me with no filter...
Me with no mask...
No biting my tongue
No holding back
If my words had no filter
It might be sappy to say
But my words would be romantic
"Write about a trouble in your life," they say-
but in no way
can I relay
the way that I got laid
WHO’S FLAWLESS?
Flawless because I’m contempt with the person I am / becoming.
Flawless because I’m eighteen proud and gay.
I am the problematic child.
High school junior and the pressure is all here
Where the adults tell you whether or not
Your future is clear
And all the numbers you've feared
For so many years
Waking up day by day,
slowly trying to take the stress away
Days going time by time,
I like going to breakfast without brushing my hair
and going to breakfast still in my pajamas.
Hair--
a mess.
Piled on the top of my head.
I like watching the news while eating my cereal.
So some of my friends recently asked me, want to go swimming today?
And I gave them a foul, foul look, and stated without delay
No.
I clearly don’t want to swim in the pool so you can go play
Gems and Dimonds
and most of the lot
are smeared and bruised
by life's dirty plots
so thus we gems
so thus we diamonds
work from dust
to bring new light
we are not perfect
Running to first period, I can’t be late anyone who has been here can relate “buzz” the tardy bell rings. I walk into class “Where is your tardy pass?” she sings.
I see myself as a gem
I know mysef as a gem
A mirror does not have to show me this
Photos cannot embody my natural spirit
I see myself
I love myself
I am the gem
From every little pore
Everyone always says college is a clean slate, that you start over new
This intrigued me because for the past 17 years were nothing too exciting
I spent my days going to class where I had very few friends
I sit here afraid, hoping the phone calls go away.
"You owe us $750", pay right away they'll say.
Emails, alerts, calls, and texts
What's next?
My rent is due, and I have no more financial aid, or money
I am a DREAMER.
This world isn't
complicated,
grey,
confusing,
or bland.
This world is full of opportunity
and color.
What we can do is LIMITLESS.
You will never get in they say
Quinnipiac University, but how will you pay?
I know I am a hard worker, I can do it
All of these negative words I am going to lose it.
I am a young woman with determination in my eyes
If life easy was not hard
then attempting is not available
If half of me is going insane
And point five has a vision blurred
You must be crazy two
Thoughts of suicide are not scary
Dad won't shut up.
Colleges won't give up.
When all the pressure just builds up.
You want to just drop it all.
Scream at the wall.
I'm not good enough anyway.
Let me go astray.
I shake his hands,
Yet my toes are beneath where he stands.
He’s been stomping my toes for hours,
Pacing on them as he explains why his belief, should be ours.
Any longer and my toenails will fall off,
Fat. Ugly. Emo. Gay
we've all heard what the haters say.
they act so kind right to our face.
but then they talk crap once we're replaced
by yet another hater (who hasn't really seen)
our teeth chatter more than our tongues
but silence isn’t the enemy
it cradles me like a newborn who’s not afraid to scream for what she wants
for what she needs
When I’m at school I’m always wearing a mask
I keep quiet, do my work, and always the first to class
I’m very punctual I student I show up almost every day
Girls.
Overpriced makeup. It
Differentiates those who want to be from those who... Are?
She spoke loud and talks with a voice that unheard of
she spoke loud and theres no face revealed
Its supposed to be like the magazines
Loads of friend in highschool
Choosing your prom dress
Obsessing over dates
But I'm starting college in a month
I have a few friends
And terrified of relationships
they look at her with big bright eyes
little do they know she rages inside
they look at her like she's an angel sent from above
little do they know she's far from being jesus white dove
I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror,
To see who I am and wonder if I need to change.
The media shows us that we are inferior,
That without being slim and muscular we are strange.
Let’s go to the movies,
let’s see a show.
Heroes, villains, romantic obstacles,
love-struck teenagers,
i walk onto the stage
i smile and i wave at the gathered people
my mom is in the front row, right in the center
my siblings sit beside her
my teachers from grade school
my professors from college
College
is being at work all day
coming home
and having to wrangle your kids
to all their different clubs
and finding time to o
the mounds of paperwork
dumped on you by your multiple bosses
A girl is hiding, hiding behind that curtain
That curtain right there, I know I am certain
That is her, that girl hiding behind that curtain
She is shy and uncertain and bullied eveyday
The fight for intellect is strong and stern.
This race by fire will remove those unworthy, and burn
Away the bits of them that give them what they need;
there is something wrong in a world where we pour ourselves out to
strangers on the internet
but our best friends dont know our torment
and there is something wrong in a world where beauty is only skin deep
While your young, your told to live a certian way
People teach you how to talk, what to say
Everyone looks, judgement in there eyes.
People talk, but all you hear are lies.
Noone can tell you who you are,
Some consider it an encumbrance
But I use it as motivation
There is no reason to have frustration
As I grind I know my life is limitless
My brother knows my success is imminent
During any given situation
Started my day before sunrise
Started my day after noontide
Started my day at witching hour
16 or 12 hours, all shifts I devour
Started my day with sarcastic smiles
Demons go up to me suddenly talking nonsense,i am like God is this real?He nods and says revelation apocalypse, so i kneel and ask for strength to hold on to the throne because i know when people hear this demons won't leave me alone.Heaven is my
Transgender
A word that brings Fear.
That brings dysphoria, confusion, invasive questions
Fear of entering another's home and being attacked
By their transphobic parents
Mommy, please don't cry for me
I'll be back before you know it.
If I want to scream and cry and fuss,
I promise I won't show it.
Leaving for college is hard, I know.
The emptiness of my room heavy,
Calm, chill, charming,
That is what people see.
I present a facade of confidence.
Little do they know,
My insides are burning.
Most do not know of the fear,
The fear of the future.
I have always admired the strong.
We as a whole have been taught to idolize those who can carry the burden of thousands
and manage to exert unimaginable strength in pulling the corners of their lips into a smile.
On a wet and windy noon,
I feel the rain and the pain as I run.
Aware that the day will end soon,
I return home after great fun.
When nights fall,
I sit in my room and fear
The world is surrounded with thing of a dream.
The stars are all shining; look at them gleam!
Though things might get harder, we can still sing.
Let us live for our new day so we can live in Beauty!
I have a futureI have a family that loves me and friends that support me I'm going to make it through what most people call the "dreaded application process"
JC: When darkness seems to take you on, and waters rush, and the storms brew strong:
The world is supposed to be this way.
Don’t be discouraged.
Don’t fall astray.
Trudging my feet across the street
Waiting underneath a foggy, humid sky,
Yet again, the bus is late.
An hour long ride from my home to school
Foreign music blasting my eardrums
Save me from the surroundings, which are crawling upon me
Don’t turn around and walk away when I’m falling on the ground
Screams get louder and louder busting my eardrums from the inside
Mother! Does the dark go with the lights? Can I mix the black and the whites? Do I use tide or gain? Does it matter ... I mean does it not clean my clothes the same?
Who is to blame when I feel this sinking tugging pressure is it me or is it her or him or all of them or this whole world that centers on grades and looks and Internet?
Apples galoreCrisp fall airSunshine foreverplays with your hair.
Hay mazes andPumpkin patches.Again the world whorls.Your breath catches.
Behind the curtains i see its only me
But when i open up i normally don't shut
Trusting that one person to be your curtain
There are many rips and tears in my curtins
From the many years of children pulling on them
The room is too warm
My palms are sweatty
He paces, glancing at the pages.
Time is running out
I read fast but nothing sticks in my mind.
I can't remember the answeres.
He glances my way and i flinch.
This is still my bed,
but now I don't quite fit.
My feet hang over the edge
for the monsters to sink their teeth into,
with their hands around my ankles.
The winds of time are changing-
like you'd never thought they would.
The winds of time are changing
as hard and as largely as they could
The winds of change they change
sweep in and out
When you wake up in the morning, and you have to go to work
But you were up late last night writing, and your fingers really hurt
You work at a local deli, cutting and slicing bread
Mild mornings, warm days and cool nights.
Swimming, amusement parks and sweet summer fruits.
Depressed,tired of being called out,wanting to quit
Try balancing a 3.5 GPS while you play sports and trying to "fit in"
Sometimes I want to give up. But my parents taught me better.
I am in a prison
Enclosed by the stress
To be someone, to succeed
This cage is getting smaller
I need some release
Just as soon as I am about to suffocate
Now the summer has come and gone.
The school year starts like the break of dawn.
On the far horizon I see its glow.
What lies ahead? I do not know.
I'll find out soon, I have no doubt.
I smile when I want to cry
I laugh when I wanna scream
You wanna know why
Because when I cry or when I scream
It's pushed aside like a child's plea
Reach for the stars they say
but they dont know what its like day by day
they play us like pawn in a simple game
moving us, directing us in their own way
However thats not how it's going to go
Embrace the new beginning,
being a first generation college student is going to war with no training
It is exciting yet sad
Let’s not romanticize high school love.
You’re not Romeo, no matter what you think.
In fact, I’d hope you’re better.
I hope.
I think that I’m better, I think.
Even though she broke my heart.
all i can hear is the ticking of the clock,
though i'm halfway certain there is nothing but silence.
i would much rather be in a trance than here with such a horrid creature.
you ignite my every being only to
This beautiful music -
The key to my "Someday"
That is what I told myself,
And it was true
This beautiful music got me here
This beautiful music got me through
A childhood of pain
A new life
Potential with no seeming end
A new beginning, no sign of strife
But to begin, however, is also to end
A military child
Moving from state to state
I'm here to reach a dream
God, I'm here to come clean
I made mistakes and did the time
But I'm not fake, and this life is mine
I'm gonna shoot for the moon
Momma, I'll be back soon
The weekend seemed so far away
It almost felt like the week would stay
It’s finally here,
So let’s give a cheer,
I’ll make through the academic year!
Wherever I am,
As long as I’m out,
Over the blue waters I go
To catch some trout.
But never after a full moon.
That’s when they have their feasts.
With the moonlight shining over the water,
My shyness stays behind this curtain in the shade of purple. I pull back the curtains to see the crowd but my hands put them back. I'm afraid to show my real self. I want to show the real me, but half my mind won't allow it.
Beyond the face there is a brain.
It may not always be right,
It may not always be sane.
Beyond the eyes there is a vision.
What I wish I could see,
All the things that are missing.
My head hurts.
My bag is heavy.
I feel it pull my shoulders down
to my aching feet; To the ground.
My back, oh my back.
The brisk wind slaps me.
My bones ache.
My body stiff against the attack.
He's blinding almost,
he's screaming out,
"Let me go!"
"Take me back!"
"Let me go!"
and..."Take me back." again
Blue is where she found misfortune.
She's tempted,
I might've not got best dressed,
but Lauen Conrad will be my invisible guest
in the back of my mind as I sign away scholarships
to get me through time.
I cheer and I choreoraph for a team so sweet
I can see it nowThe huge doors opening my wayMillions of students pacing different directionsGetting to class, with only quick words to say Get to class on time
The road that lies ahead in our minds
is often bright and shining
To others, it's dark and gloomy
and every sunrise is a dread
Caught in the middle, I'm paralyzed
between fear and hope
its in my lonely
that I realize how I am frail and boney
how harsh I am to me,how my heart is stony
it is in my lonely
that I confront my phony
masks get dropped and the acting gets chopped
My fear is not of material things
It's of a choice, and the ripples it beings
I'm so much more than a list of talents
Yet on them, my life hangs in the balance
The question is: who do I want to be
Whoa buddy
Slow down
Take the Turtle Road.
But no,
I have so many places to go.
Let me hop on the freeway
Breeze on through
Ignore the distractions
Keep your eyes on the road.
The time we spend with ourselves
when living in a community full of so much.
The money we try to save
towards spending on the next new thing.
The work we put into not working at all
When I graduate high school,
I'm definitely going to cry.
I'll try hard not to,
but there's no doubt I will.
When I graduate college,
I'm definitely going to cry.
I'll try to be strong,
What is it that gets me going?
Get the blood rushing and my brain flowing
Imagination running superspeed
Many ideas formulating future a masterpiece
Inspired much by nature and others but it is I that will lead
A bird cannot leave the nest
Without first learning to fly
A parachute without hot air
Will never reach the sky.
A rocket without fuel
Will miss it's chance to meet the moon
The question is not what am I looking for in a school, its what a school is looking for in me.
Art made from my soul down to my hands.
Changing the world without any fans.
It doesn't need to be on a canvas to see
The beautiful work people create for you and me.
The mailbox held an envelopeKeys still in the lockRunning late to the movies
If I would have cried and begged you to stay in your arms, would you have kept me?
would you have let me be?
was it easier to turn your back on me?
who were you truely setting free? you or me?
Why am I so hung up on a stupid message
It's nothing
I'm nothing
At least to him...
But what if we did
Look each other in the eyes
Remember each other at night
College, one powerful place to change our lives. A place that strikes fear STRONG emotion. A place that some can't even get a chance to start. Parents with other ideas not focused on your future but there's.
She cannot stop, she cannot quit,
but sometimes she wishes life would just get on with it.
She tries to stay positive, keep a smile on her face,
but it’s hard when she has to keep running this race.
College is the time to be free
To soar and be oneself
To explore what the world has to offer
What's the color red?
It's not the color of the hair on my hair,
Nor the color of the sheets on my bed,
NO.
It's a careful process
romantic even,
when you pull off the wrapper
of a Crispy Chicken Asiago Ranch Sandwich
from the Wendy's Dollar Menu
We all have a meaning to be in this world.
What is mine?
I am not so sure yet, but I intend on finding out soon.
Soon, everything will be different. I'll be going away from those who have loved me in my darkest times.
The sun shining down,
It’s a brand new day.
Meet new people,
See new places.
Be a new person.
After all you’re only in college once.
So why not make the best of it.
Everybody loves a girl that is confident.
Everybody loves a girl that is beautiful.
Under the Milky way
lies a small freshman
wondering at the wonder
expressed by her fellows.
It pleases me
to stay up an hour
explain quark-gluon plasma
rather than go down
Stop pressuring me
Stop telling me I better hurry
Stop forcing me into a corner
Stop making me choose
Stop making me prepare
Stop making me grow up
Not all that many years ago: An education once was a dream and a goal, an education not everyone was sold $.
Daddy, do you remember when I was young and I'd run to you with all my problems?
You always promised me that you'd do anything to make me happy,
You didn't want to raise your children the way you were raised.
Why the fuck do I have to pay for college?
I'm trying to educate myself & spread happiness to the world.
STOP!
WHATEVER IS DISTRACTING YOU...
STOP!
Live in the moment and listen up.
I am talking to everybody,
and I am hoping all of you will take these words to heart,
so please,
please,
The way my eyebrows arch
And the way the corners of my lips tilt south
Many assume that I'm rude
a bitch
a groutch.
My presence demands respect
Rite of passage or societally sold obstacle
Never ever ending hope, never ending despair
Educational institutions or corporate behemoths
Debt, Debt, Debt is all millennials know
All our life is all we owe
Well this is quite a surprise.
I've never been asked this inquiry before.
A mask for the task at hand
to find success and to be the best
to draw peace from a green light in uncertain darkness i have to put up a fight
although i know not where i'll land
My testimony, my story
Is not full of fame or glory.
I'm just a student trying to make it through the day
Just a young adult whose only option is to pray:
Pray for my family that is too far
Look all around you and tell me what do you see?
Are people fighting for originality? Or hungry to be like you and me?
This world lacks individuality, imagination and innovation.
Approximately 177 days left.
Only 177 days left to be a kid.
Only 177 days left to have all of the quintessential teen experiences.
ONLY 177 DAYS.
Should I be scared? Because I am.
Your love means the world to me
Please don't get me wrong
But I both think we know
That it's time I move on
You raised me and bathed me, and put me to bed
"Forever and always"
Photographers capture a moment in time,
Each little movement in orderly rhyme.
From nature to people, photos aren't the same,
From color to black, photos are never plain.
Memories are made with one little click,
What would you describe faith to be?
would it be a feeling?
Maybe an emotion, an action,
or is faith a THING?
I see faith to be something unseen,
It's like walking blindfolded,
We all have choices in life
At our own free will we make our decisions
In order to better ourselves and our lives
I have choices
But I do not make the decisions
I live in this broad bubble that I all a life.
But i know thats not right.
I have become so scared of failing thatg I no longer try.
Dulled passion just trying to get by
Why do I let the things that crush my soul
Bruise my demeanor, my attitude, my outlook on life?
Is it because my mind, a vast space filled with dreams of love and adventure,
Hope and happiness, splendor and joy,
To the young creature,
jumpy "you don't know nothing" on her street,
sedated "can somebody please buy me something to eat?" in the subway,
and her name repeated on a recursive loop at day
The one that takes the knowlege.
The one who carried on.
The wish of going to college,
Is the fear that brings a dawn.
I look upon others
For the help to bring hope,
But what of the mothers
In less than a month's time,
My world will change
From the familiarity of my home and siblings
To the unknown of university.
Who will I meet? How will I progress?
The infinite possibilities dash
I've been accepted to college which is such great news
the only sad part is that I'll be away from you.
Away from your love, away from your laughter
but it is ok I'll be fine, I cant stay forever.
A man walked into a room (yes, it starts like a bad joke) and showed me a thousand pictures.
I’m told to stay in school,
focus on my school work
and stay out of trouble
because the world is full of money hungries
I’m told to get good grades
and not worry about the boys who call my name
"One through ten,"
"Bring a black pen,"
Class flirt and Class clown,
Watch your step so you don't fall down,
Morning bell and Friday night band,
"Your turn to stand,"
We don't talk about how I cried myself to sleep for months
We don't talk about how I didn't want to live any more
We don't talk about how I couldn't have children
I exist within a beat
A moment of synchronized sound.
An instance, determined by an ongoing tempo.
In, and then out; in and then out.
These are the constant reminders I have to tell my self to keep me focused,
I want to be successful, make a change in this world.
I want to be successful not just for the diamonds and pearls.
I want to be successful for my family.
My dad said the only way I'll get into college is if I get scholarships
There are no miracles , no wishes , or any fancy tricks
You work hard for what you want
And never give up or in So I thought I'd try for a poem
First I want to start off with “IM SORRY”
I was angry, upset, devastated knowing that you were going through some serious shit that I didn’t have any control over.
I miss being a kid when life was fun
Now all I am is on the run
Trying to hustle and work to come up with that tuition money
My future depends on
How alluring I am
As a combination
Of a few words and numbers
time on the clock
i breathe in
*tic toc*
and it occurs to me
*tic toc*
i've been waiting for this moment
Everyday is a living day
As i see people come and go by
For some people is tragedy
For some others is heaven
Twenty-two seven,
Wandering in the streets
Writing my life on these sheets
Please eat... I hear their silent plea. Eyes look at me carefully. I smile gracefully but can't tame the voice inside of me. "No thanks. I'll have coffee." Can't they leave me be? Getting thin has a fee but I'm not scared. Can't they see?
My dream
My dream is to finish college
To be able to afford everything I need.
My job
My dream job is to be an Occupional Thraspist, OT for short
Finishing my associates,
Going on to get my masters,
It started in the blazing heat of a Florida December,
a Puerto Rican madre and a bowl of arroz con grandules.
The beginning.
Rolling r's like hills in Arkansas,
It started in the blazing heat of a Florida December,
a Puerto Rican madre and a bowl of arroz con grandules.
The beginning.
Rolling r's like hills in Arkansas,
I guess I could have went to that abortion clinic
I could have went through with it
I could have killed a living life
Instead, I am suffering sleepless nights
Nothing can take your place
O Norfolk State
Embroidered- the green and gold
In my heart and my soul
The fire alarms were a pain
The classes sometimes a strain
But the lessons I learned
Inspiration
What is inspiration but a fanny pack full of hammy down quotes from people no different than you or I. Or is it indifference that allows one to be different. "Haters gnna hate!"
Money
There's so much of it in the world
but why don't I have any of it?
Why does my family struggle so much
when others have money coming out of their ears?
I'm stuck trying to figure out
Regret and Anger
tries to take hold.
Pain and Sorrow
leaves me cold.
I feel it deep within,
a storm breaking thru,
trying to take control,
of how I hate you.
A heart you were given
Slam.
I hear the sound of the door closing, turn to see the car driving away, and with it, everything i've ever known in life.
Comfort, gone.
Security, gone.
Rain
It was so cold,
We wandered through the woods to seemingly nowhere
Just because
Not even talking, just walking
Not knowing what i was going to see
I found my self in a place where i wanted to be
Does anybody up in here have a story to tell or is it just me
You know me growing up being the lawyer that I want to be or me growing up being another menace to society
I turn my head and I all I see is black,
He hovers over me waiting to attack.
I close my eyes hoping that this feeling goes away,
I cannot bear the thought of getting hurt
And when I open my eyes I am alone.
Is my mind so unoriginal,
it can't think in another way?
My thoughts have turned sappy
Since he came around that day.
I love him, I love him
He loves me too.
I want this for forever
Money is power.
That's what I've been raised to believe.
Once you have money, anything is possible.
But that is not the truth.
Knowledge is power.
Knowledge will take you places.
Anything to get my money they did,
I guess telling the truth is forbid,
This place was clean the last time I was here,
Now I look around and say “Oh dear,”
I thought there was 60% diversity in this place,
Education is my love, to embark on a journey of truth revealed
Understanding the facts and using those facts in life to change the world
For years my thoughts were silent
Trapped in the matrix of my mind
The only resolve, a pen on paper
Hoping to leave my past behind.
Having no idea how to share myself
With the people surrounding me
I used to keep my aspirations in a small white book with a round silver lock.
Hidden, under my bed these were my dreams I could not speak about.
It makes my mind go tick tick tick
thinking of the things that will make it swift
the only thing to get me out
my futures what its all about
You threw me away like a grain of sand,
Carried astray by the winds at hand.
All for what?
Your own self-righteous gain;
Hopes that you've preserved your precious treasures of today?
I've realixed that when it comes to life, everything and everyone in it has an imperfection. A slight misunderstanding that the universe as a whole compels to call a fatal flaw that keeps life at its best, from perfection.
Before, having an education was a choice,
Now education has become a necessity,
Without an education,you're just another person in the unemployment line,
I don't want to be just another number,
Ever since I was a little girl I was never afraid of going somewhere new; I enjoyed a change in scenery,
I'm a true Southern girl who ran in the street barefoot and didn't mind a bit of greenery,
The clock is ticking I hope you're on your mark,
Laps around the track, sprints down the court or in the park,
Man it's hard when your coach is watching you,
Going into college;
was a new begining.
I was scared yet nervous
Anything was possible.
Nothing turned out,
the way I pictured it.
Everything was
different.
I wake up in the morning.
It's six o'clock and I'm yourning.
I get up out my sheets
trying to scavenge something to eat
then I gotta brush my teeth.
since i ain't in a rush
I wait for the bus
I wonder what would happen if WE. BOUNCE. BACK
Like the elasticity of elastic bands being stretched by heavy hands
Lassoing nappy strands running amuck like wild stallions
We, are wild ones
The fids are screaming for breakfast
I can do that
There’s homework still to do
I can do that
Need to finish next months’ budget
I can do that
Wait, still need to clean the loo
I can do that
Life is something i find myself thinking,
yet i don't have much of an inkling,
of what i might really be thinking.
My thoughts sway and shift,
dwell and jump,
yet never stop.
Life is a universe,
I have awoken
From the slumber that has
Trapped the billions.
Enlightened - by chance -
Seeing what they do not,
Feeling what they ought to,
Everyone has dreams to make it for their familes get of the hood to live good well some people was born into this world with a sliver spoon in their mouth
If you ask me what makes me tick
then I'd have to tell you I don't tick, I tock
And if you aserted I was to pick
I'd simpy laugh and decide not
If you asked me to fall in line
Everyone Dreams
But I dream differently
Everyone wants to achieve
But I want it vividly
Family is my motivation
The sun may rise
And set
The day goes on
Until another day is met
Stars you see
Are there to stay
Till it is time to drift away
An unknown oasis
I’m the golden girl. I’m intelligent and driven. I’m ambitious but principled. I make straight A’s. I have a 4.0, which seems to be the ticket to everything in the college world. Adults love me because I’m different.
You're going to leave a mark on this earth,
Weather it's on your tombstone
Or your way of living!
My heart, my mind and my soul
It's hurting me to even let this show.
Giving up was never an option for me
but obstacles in my way wouldn't allow me to see.
I'm beautiful because I know it.
im beautiful because I don't have to flaunt it.
I'm beautiful because someone doesn't have to tell me.
Understand that life has changes
New chapters come,
we are forced to turn like pages
Some of us live...like we are ageless
but overcame by pain and sorrow
we ask ourselves "How can we change this?"
My footsteps are a snare drum, beating with every step I take.
Violins hum when I open my eyes.
And when I look at you, a blare of tumpets make me joyfully deaf
So all I can see is you
In all your simple beauty.
Growing up- Broken- BeatenActing like nothings wrongCan't you see I'm crying- hurting?Acting out just to see your longface staring back at me.See that look in your eyesHow much you wish that
I’m sitting in the waiting room with daddy and I’m filling out the formsEach minute that passes by my hearts being tornMaybe it’s not to late I could just walk away and never come back
When i was young, they all thought i was going to succeed
Always compared, whenever my sisters were there
All of the pressure that caused me to bleed
Once i failed, i knew it was too good to be true
Boycotting buses, getting beat, lynched, locked up in cells
They went through all of this so our life wouldn't be hell
Who are you?
No but seriously, who?
You think you know me but you really don't.
You should get off your high horse but i know you won't.
I can't take a step without your watchful eye;
In the dark shadows of the night
I cry for light
All i can see is you
You falling out of my grip too
You've vanished away from sight
You took her out, like you said
Now soon to be wed
What's that thing walking down the hall
looking like a plastic Barbie doll
everything about her is completely fake
That's looking on the outside in
that's looking on the outside in
of the Gossip Queen
You constantly bug me and ask me whats wrongNot knowing you were the problem all alongThis pain has turned my heart coldSo cold it has blackened my soul
Hope, the love of my life
Blinding me, watching me
Waiting for me to fall so it can pick me up
Like a mother eagle taking her young
She can only have one
Unlike the bird, She cannot and will not die
We love to hate but hate to love
everyday i watch girls cover their face with make-up
we pour ourselves into our jeans
trying to fit the mold of what we think we should be
We love to hate but hate to love
everyday i watch girls cover their face with make-up
we pour ourselves into our jeans
trying to fit the mold of what we think we should be
I stare at myself in the mirror,
And the image looking back at me is one that is disappointing,
I look in the mirror and the body that appears infront of me,
does not match my mind.
We all strive to be such a thing,Beautiful.
But we look in the mirror,
We study our image,
It becomes more flawed,
We are eaten alive by our desire, beauty.
First and foremost children deserve love, in fact they need it to survive, children deserve the world, for they had no choice in becoming alive.
Be loud. Be confident. Whats better than being so predominate? Be free, carefree. Try risks bigger than the sea. Be bold. Be kind. Mark the times you thought you would never find.
I wasn't prepared for this
I wasn't prepared to have to grow up so fast
Being 18 and not even knowing how to drive has taken a toll on me
Being 18 and not even knowing how to be confident and independent has angered me
Let’s do some math.
If I choose to dorm at XY Hall, the price will be 18k for both semesters combined.
But that's way too expensive.
Abused Never More
Never look into your eyes,
don't talk to anyone,
stay at home at all times,
Seven Billion people.
With over 200,000 births every day.
How are we supposed to know who we will be?
Stay,
Go,
Come back,
Leave.
You're the tide during a summer storm,
Crashing in and out of my life.
Slowly pulling out, ever the controlling recluse, taking grains of sand with you,
Concrete shells dig into my fleshas your teeth gnaws at my neck –hungry, vehement, absent.
I make this list every few weeks.
Feeding and fending for myself.
Cheapest thing for dinner?
Probably the chicken legs.
On special: 5lb for 89 cents each.
thoughts on how that should last me for a while.
Hate
This disgusted feeling
For another human being
So wicked
For a man who didn't mean a damn thing
If you want love honey, go love yourself
But instead you chose to spread your legs
Is blue, blue?
Or do you see a different hue?
Do we all see a different color known by one name?
Or do we all see just the same?
How can you say blue is blue,
When she see's green too?
When one dies, does their soul silently disperse from their empty socket called the body?
Does one go to hell judging by their sins where they will spend eternity rotting in hell?
Adrenaline pumps as a worry wart scurries, preparing the utter but cruel fate of the "real" world. Tick tock, a race against the clock, call me White Rabbit as I tend to fret for the minute feelings in a myriad of ways.
Today is the day I must perform
I wake up in the morning and look outside
The sun's out.
Does that mean I'll be good or--
Will the opposite occur?
Its time to go...
I drive past homes and stores,
I’m remembering everything backwards;
It’s making it hard to get home
The lines all get reversed, and
The players don’t know who they’re playing.
We wear the mask that laughs and lies, Never does it expose our cries nor sighs;- We hide our torn up hearts behind the guile mask, Assuring that we are fine without ask; Deceiving people in believing our lies.Never should the world speculate ot
Early one Tuesday morning in 1996,
their one and only child arrived.
On November 5th, Avis and Robert Hughley were blessed with a son, Robert Hughley, Jr.
Early one Tuesday morning in 1996,
their one and only child arrived.
On November 5th, Avis and Robert Hughley were blessed with a son, Robert Hughley, Jr.
How can things be so difficult one minute, but then dissolve into something so pure? How do people look over the beauty of mistakes and only focus on the bad and evil perspectives?
These things really do happen.
We're told our whole lives that if we dream it, we can make it happen
Stick with that sport, hobbie, job or talent and it will eventually happen
At some point there comes a time where we have the talk with our parents
The talk about success and at some point we all choose to digress
A pretty smile
With creativity
And discipline
You have yet to see me
A person with sensibility
Coaxed in concentration and diligence
You have yet to see me
Natural born talent
I taught you all the things I knewDevoted my time to theeSo you could join in playing the grandly newRomantic symphonyAn autumn evening we walk aloneEach tree ridden of all its leaves
We all wish we could start over;Go back in time and begin anew.Try as we may, we just cannot.This we know, but regret to believe.Everyone wants one more moment.
The other day James told me that he had a almost reached a dream that was close to me,
He said he could've went to play ball oversees, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
Which really makes no sense to me,
As a teenage high school student, it’s reasonable that one thing always on my mind is school
Not only school itself, but the lessons school has given to me
There come a time in every man’s life
Where he learns about who he is destined to be
Some day he will take on a wife
As he choose her and she choose he
Bodies in the sand,
tight skin, shining eyes,
messy hair,taute lips
kissed by the sunsrise.
New life, wet air, rapid breathes
pumping blood
wide steps,big dreams.wet cheeks
a rushing flood.
His hands reach for mine.
They reach for a part of my soul
That I keep
Guarded,
Untouched.
He yearns for it,
And I for him.
Yet, I do not lust for his soul,
Like mine;
Everyone talks about what it's like for them
How difficult they have it
Why the world is unfair to them and why they need to catch a break
I'm not one of those people
I'm not poor or rich
I've been told, "write what you know"
But what if all you know is anger and anxiety and pain and drama and crying into your pillow because all of the available shoulders are occupied?
No such thing complexity is
A state of mind in all its being
Hope and fear gather here
To try and give someone some more time
Those who weep because of the unknown
As I look at the doors around me,
I hear a rattling sound coming from one of my belt loops.
Then I look to where the sound came from.
I saw a key of rings on my belt loop.
A few streets down
away from this perfected outer shell of blissful indulgence that we have created
lies
a city of
distorted faces,
starvation,
violence.
At 12:34am those thoughts start trickling in
The world is quiet, no distractions
First, a few drops of prose
Then, a few analogies get sprinkled in
Then all of a sudden, an ocean of ideas pour through my brain
At 12:34am those thoughts start trickling in
The world is quiet, no distractions
First, a few drops of prose
Then, a few analogies get sprinkled in
Then all of a sudden, an ocean of ideas pour through my brain
Have you listened lately?
Or did you become blinded by what you wanted to hear over what you needed to hear.
Selective hearing, I guess?
My talent is something God gave me a voice to move the room
Eyes are restless and heavy
As a brick on the chest cavity sits.
My body feels nothing but pure hunger.
A hunger for nothing but more slumber.
6:00 a.m
Eyes are still restless and heavy
I See You.
So if you
say that you see me,
can you really...?
Can you look
past my hips, and beyond
my thighs...
Behind my
eyes and into
the depths of my mind..
Darling,
Theres a trick to every story:
Read the ending so youre not disappointed.
Keep your expectations set low
But your head held high,
Dont let them ever see you cry.
Theyre not worth your tears
They Said…
They said, you have to be realistic
And just live
But what does being realistic mean?
Do you know what is real and what is not?
If dreams are not real
Then, what are they?
Although life may seem unclear
Believe that their is something for you
Consider this a gift yourself
Dream....
Everything is now visable..
Is anyone up there?
Tired of wondering where,
warn out on wondering how,
and never getting a reply.
If evil is the problem,
who can give us the answer?
If God is the ultimate good,
I'm about to spit you something lyrical
Have you feeling spiritual
Inspirational, sensational literacy
I'll make it out the NOLA just wait and I'ma show you
By attending college with my profound knowledge
I am a dreamer
I wonder why things happen the way they do
I hear the voices of the past
I see the promises of the future
If you really knew me
you would know that
I look at people the way you read a book.
If you really knew me
you'd see the way I tense up when
No matter how much we want to rebuke it,
money is a big part of how we live.
We need it to survive.
We need it to live.
We need it to persuade.
Money has much power in this world,
And unfortunately,
My dear Dream! You neither come with comforts nor
You let me sleep with comfort.
From the day one since I've met you until the time I marry you,
I stay obsessed with you,
Life is like having a tick
irritating like when you get a prick
kinda like getting hit by a brick
Sometimes you want to let it go
But hold on you might find a glow
Walkin throug town you get a little down
Life, right?
Everyone always says to embrace it, to live it and to love it, that we will never be as young as we are in this moment, to live with no regrets, that life is so precious.
I have dreams
They mean so much to me
And seems
I can't distinguish from reality
What am I suppose to do ?
What am I suppose to say ?
Just a small voice
Just a drawing in the dirt
It is my aspiration
To be loved, to be heard
As surely as the wind blows
As surely as a boat sails
As surely as moon shines its light
No one told you to see them
No one asked you to stare
No one cared you spent that moment
Wishing they weren’t there
No one believes the scars are true
The Sun rises.
Glory,
Happiness,
New Life.
The Sun moves.
Progress,
Change,
Lessons learned.
The Sun sets.
Hardship,
Upheaval,
Violence.
Imagine spinning around and around while gripping a carpeted wall.
The blurs of faces and occasional glimpse of sky soon all melt together into one.
"Paper has more paitence than people,"a simple saying by Anne Frank that should be an ornate ode.
Fuck staying in one place too long
Your life is your own song
Written however you want
Many people close to you will try to taunt
And even haunt
Your dreams and aspirations
The cruel silence lingers in the airJust watching with a malicious smileWatching the poor broken girl sobbing
People think they can define you by the way they see you rather than the way you live
Money does make the world go round, literally
My parents struggling for the best for me and my brothers
She walks around with a smile on her face
But no one sees the struggle it takes
The weight that she carries is no simple task
Blustery day of finality
Friends held dear to heart, scatter
Falling caps
Mothers laugh, try to snap a picture
Sad stories
Some here, some there
I write them from my soul
But no one seems to care
All they hear are woeful tales
Brimming eyes with tears
I wonder if they feel the pain between the lines
I know what you’re thinking,
Here goes another Muslim.
Preachin, teachin tryna change the way the world sees them.
But I’ll make this quick.
I’m NOT a refugee
Born in the south next to American Babies
I just can't find the right one.
What am I doing wrong?
They say go with the money.
I say I want to go where ever my heart desires.
But I have had a personal struggle with having too little.
I want so much
I work hard for it
Yet it seems out of my reach
Constantly put down
Saying I won't achieve my my dreams
But I believe
One day it will happen
One day I'll make it happen
Baby Girl!!
What are you doing?!!
Do you care about your life?
Being a mother isn't easy
Being a single mother is harder
Being a single, young mother is damn near impossible.
You tell them the truth , your secrets. You let them fall right through. Misjudged them as somebody you can trust , then they turn on you , fake people, we donated our lives our pride and secrets.
I used to hate my face.
I defined my beauty by how many likes I got on my profile picture
Or by how many people said they liked the way I looked.
I was so embarrassed by my interests
And if people made fun of them,
For a long time I searched
For the thing that brought me solace.
When I was young I loved to read,
And my sister wanted to be an author
And being the little sister,
Naturally I did too.
I don't write because I can,
Or because I think I'm good at it,
Or because I want applause.
I write because, next to my lungs,
Words are what keep me breathing,
And the link between my left hand
Sit down.
Or maybe you should move away from the door.
Listen to your professor.
Or maybe you should send out once last text to your family members letting them now the news.
The job that will change my life is a news reporter. Lights camera action knowing what's happening looking serious with a shocking reaction live infront of a screen with tons of makeup on because I'm ugly
Tick Tock, Tick Tock,
Is high school over?
Is it off the clock?
Tick Tock, Tick Tock,
I'll be ready for college,
To gain more knowledge.
As children we think life will be easy. When we were young we thought that all the rules would go away, all the pain would cease, school would be out forever, and we thought we would have all the money in the world.
Heavy expectation,
brings on mental exacerbation,
searching for demonstrations,
to lead this tired wayward nation,
Brought on by many cases,
of tasteful vs. tasteless,
to be heard or to be seen
which is superior?
i posit they are the same
What need is there of a voice when hands are quite capable?
a language of the hands lives among us
I'm a rich kid,
grown in the suburbs,
lost then found in life,
collected on this never ending circus tour,
where is my pride, my faiths contour,
lost as his mother screams,
I'm frightened
I feel over whelmed.
My panics are black
Along with my Scores.
My GPA exists bulky,
albeit i have to compensate for everything.
My banquet.
My automobile.
My institute.
In life we all make mistakes.
We all try to make it somewhere and do something.
We want to be accepted in our respected communities.
Though, it's not that simple:
We must climb the mountains,
Ever since the age of seven, I've been told I'm gifted, but what does that even mean?--
That I can pass a standardized test with a little more ease that those around me?
I rise like a dead man alive;
A walking, talking, breathing, eating
Corpse that's trying to revive
Its human sense of dignity.
The house is full of mine and theirs,
The furniture, the memories.
When does it stop? And where does it begin?
Is it how you got there? Or does it only matter that you're here.
You've been through the worst, and you've given your best.
We wake up every morning because they tell us to.
Throwing on clothes they see as proper.
Time passes,
Memories are made,
Seasons change,
Feelings shift,
Friendships evolve,
Life goes by quick,
Yet ever so slow,
Like a snail,
Feelings fade,
Friendships not as strong,
Trying for the relationship I wanted,
I copied my father’s moves and emotions.
Genetics helped out, only a little.
Father, What have I done to myself?
Gripping, pulling, plucking, repeat--
What a simple thing to ask
When I'm screaming
crying
dying inside
to be heard
When the world crumbles all around me
When the floor drops from beneath my feet
I don't know where to look
or where to go
I am lost without you
You were always there for me
You led me back to my path when I went astray
You fought so hard for so long
but it wasn't enough
It makes sense that we all be troubled but don't be overwhelmed by your struggle.
It is unfortunate
That a nation that once believed in its children
Is now built upon the backs of them
The walls are moving.
They shift in and out in tight, undiscernible patterns:
Quickly, slowly,
Scraping your back when you try to turn.
They get too small;
They become too narrow some ways.
Life is too short to sleep
Nights become extended days
As bills pile up and books become your walls
Classes fill up your autumn, winter and fall
It's 3am and I'm starting to wonder
if this storm is outside my window
or inside of my chest because I
miss the thunder of your breath
against my neck and the way your
fingers pour into me
I'm not nervous, I'm scared and worried that it all ends here
I'm scared that all those dreams I've been dreaming are nothing but dreams
Scared that the life I once feared living is now my future reality
I'm not nervous, I'm scared and worried that it all ends here
I'm scared that all those dreams I've been dreaming are nothing but dreams
Scared that the life I once feared living is now my future reality
Here I stand, dumbfounded.
Lost.
Soiled in all the anger of the intelligence, I offered to my exhausted mind.
Fried by the stresses of stepping up that ladder, I slip. I slip to the depths of bills.
When I was little, you were there
Now that I am grown and you are leaving and I'm scared
I am so used to your moaning and complaining
What will I do once you leave me hanging?
Too young to make life decisions. Too old to depend on mom. Wandering on the uncertained journey of life independently.
Experiment with metals like chrome
Experiment with chemicals like foam
Plese try to have fun
Clean up when you're done
And please try not to blow up your home
Happy Birthday! You are born
Happy Graduation! You are an adult
Freshmen, Sophomore, Junior, Senior year of college...gone
$20,000 debt...not terrible, not great
22 years old going for a doctorate
My heart is beating faster than normal.
Perhaps it’s the coffee or all this anticipation.
On edge and full of emotion.
An agonizing wait as today is the day.
The day that could change.
1. Inside something: the coldness within her heart the multitude of thoughts within her head saying she’s not worth living within her wrecked, smashed, bleeding body.
Friends and I moving on.Two are going into the militaryOne isn't good with structure.One structures everything.
Why is life so hard these days?
I keep trying to figure out
how to live successfully in different ways.
I seriously want to shout.
You guys don't even understand.
I have decided to take the leap and go off to college.
Leaving behind my family, town, and friends of my current knowledge.
While off I will be free to explore,
To discover the world once hidden beind closed doors.
We are
day-to-day here, surviving off
coffee and energy drinks
and herbal teas passed like drugs
beneath the lunch table.
Like cigarettes
I.
I wonder if I’ll ever learn to spell the word receipt
without having to google it first,
if I’ll find the courage to pull back the curtain
and enter into the uncertainties of my life
To be given the chance to accomplish
what they said you couldnt
they laughed if you tried
they're better than me
who am I to try?
im not gonna lie
I'm not good enough
behold
Is it because I don't have the jaysIs it because I don't get laidIs it because I don't party all the timeIs it because I rather chill and write down these rhymesIs it because I don't smoke weed
I was 12 years old, sitting on the front porch.
Parents arguing inside, about money of course.
When I grow up, none of this,
No paycheck-to-paycheck living,
No worrying about making ends meet,
With mascots of Hornets, Aggies, and Bobcats
And those baseball players on the field swinging their bats
I will see students with college books and college sweaters
and the college name on every entrance with giant headers
A bowl of ramen noodles nestled
in the folds of oversized
sweaters. Burning skin
under clothing, welcomed heat.
Fingertips have forgotten
What warmth is. Toes are forever numb
Tick tock the clock strikes the air
The time drags on and chimes again
I tremble from the stress and my brain begins to ache
This time there is no going back no time to escape
I wonder why I have to wake up to these dreams,
You're a sky ful of stars that light up like sparklers,
I go to sleep dreaming about your eyes that shine crystal amorous gleams.
I can't think of anything...
Writers Block.
I hate it.
A big huge wall were your mind stops thinking and you are staring a little bar on your computer screen.
The worst is when you are writing a paper.
"Nadia, here is some cash for you to go back to school with...I love you, do great... make me proud, you can do whatever you want in life".
"Hey Nad, I love you, happy birthday".
Collapsing under the pressure of knowledge,
Sleeping starts to sound way better than college.
As I strive to have my educational needs met,
the more frustrated I seem to get.
waiting for it
my time grinds down and i sit still
waiting for it
trying to make sure that i am ready
waiting for it
my mind swims in information and panic
waiting for it
I wake up from your dreams, and Icould not stop thinking about you…It was still midnight, and, after all,I had just slept for only an hour…I get out of my bed, and face the mirror, and O
Walk a mile in my shoes
Then you’ll know what it’s like to choose
Between making a life of your own and leaving the nest
Laundry had to be done
And there was something
About some bill
That I had to pay.
Thousands of dollars
Spent and borrowed
For a piece of paper that says
I’m smart, I’m qualified.
It's me living life,
it may be different but it feels so right.
first I'm walking down the street feeling free in my mind,
At the end of each day, my parents kissed me goodnight and put me to bed.
So Suddenly Mama said
"Get a job, apply for college, be a grown woman"
And I was but a child, still curly-haired and bright -eyed , not yet poisoned by the world.
Always said I'd be a writer, moved out, and traveling
I am worried
Worried about what?
College, the place where you get more knowledge.
I worry I won't succeed in the getting the education
I so gratefully need.
The first time I feel asleep listening to your heart beat
i decided this is where i want to live
nestled up into your side
your arm wrapped around me
safe, warm, love
College.
Every young girl and boy's dream.
A place where you create your niche.
And become skilled.
Hopefully enough to prosper.
They build you up to it your entire life.
I sit in geometry class,
Hanging on no words, not even trying to pass.
My eyelids have a heavy weight;
They don't even care that this next theorem may decide my fate.
To transform a polygon into a square?
It's always a dilemma going to class
after a hard night of studying off my ass.
Sorry for the vulgar language that's not me
i just can't wait to graduate to get this money.
What really gets me going in life
is the fufillment of dreams
and love throughout strife.
The courage to do
It just doesn't make sense.
You tell me to get a college education.
You prepare me from grade 6.
You help me along the path then when I need you most, you dump me off.
It just doesn't make sense.
Don't know what to do.
Can't have my cake and eat it too.
I can go to one school and then transfer. Or I can go to another school and transfer somewhere else.
I don't know what I want.
From country to country
When I was two years I left my country
I left to Asia to a better country
After seven years there we became angry
Why is it so expensive?
I've even thougth about killing myself!...life sucks
We're not all privledged like those rich fucks!
It would be cheaper to be dead. It's better than this.
She whispered so softly,"Your future is so bright,"My heart sank deep, but remained feeling light.I look her dead in the eyes and say"bright and light are the darkest things in my sight
We as human beings tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. We usually can't help it, it's form of habit. A habit passed down since, well... forever. Sometimes though...
I am the master,
the controller,
I am the seargent,
and I am the soldier.
I fight the battles;
I lose the wars,
I reap the winnings,
and forfiet the scores.
We started at the bottom
Where we learned to say a word.
And then we moved to taking steps
And repeating things we heard.
Eventually we learned to sing
The cheerful alphabet;
A,B,C,D,E,F.G
College leads to wealth and success in the future
That’s what they tell you
But for my future
All I see, is debt
Accruing, accruing until there’s nothing left
“Oh but there’s scholarships, and grants too”
Harvard and Yale keep mailing me
They must not have gotten my last SAT
Some Christian college won't stop trying
They must not know I follow Neil Degrasse Tyson
Where then, should I be applying?
almost fell face-forward had they not held us back,
crying because it hurt and made our bodies ache,
Everyone around me is changing.
We are all aging.
Even Mary from day care.
It is the last time we share
The friendship of our pair.
It is all just a blur.
This is the last time I will see my brother,
The white sandy beaches crash against the waves as if battling for the territory of land.
The birds fly through the air sending signals of impending danger
to their nearby relatives.
I wake up every morning in this place
In this place I feel the most content
The most content I feel is in between its warmth and softness
Its warmth and softness allows me to clearly think about my past
Too little time.
Not enough space.
Everything is cramming in.
There's not one peaceful place.
The end of school is near.
Too late for worrying or fear.
You're expected to be on top of your game.
What can a dollar do?
Pay for lunch,
A car,
College.
Well, maybe not a dollar
Though at least it helps.
But while we eat and drive and learn
A child dies from hunger
A woman wishes
I remember a time
Seems like yesterday
When things were different,
Less complicated.
Barbie dolls strew across a yellow quilt
Fairytales played to life in the backyard
Picnic lunches
No arts, my work of creativity is meaningless
Ihave no rhyme, I have no chime
Where am I, who am i
No expression of individuality
My soul is gone, my works are lost
What is art to me?
My everything
I'm losing my mind it's three in the morning and my mind is starting to unwind,
I'm going on auto drive and everything is so intensified,
It’s not a no, it’s not a yes, it’s a maybe.
I’m not mad at you for giving me that answer.
I understand, you are the teacher assistant, and I am only a student.
Next semester you said.
Electricity and power and thoughts inside
Music, and wonder and time
It’s just a glimpse inside my mind
Worry and hope and tears I’ll cry
Happiness and running and learning to fly
Hobby (noun)
an activity or interest pursued
for pleasure or relaxation
Dreams
Funny how they float just out of reach
Just past the tips of fingers
the grasp of belief.
Just as the bird will hop and glide,
the dream will follow
Who am I?
Am I the person you see right in front of you?
Am I the person you hear people talking about?
Am I the person crying out for attention?
Am I the person who needs your approval on who I am?
What the hell is life when a life is determined by money?
When you live in utero, grasping for cash in the darkness
Everything is a business
Education, religion, your own health
The cash flow is circular
in your mind
you stand alone
with the white walls and floor
that never seem to end.
step.
nothing.
step.
nothing.
step.
something.
stop.
the floor rumbles as it spreads
This is how I live now:
Wilted lettuce and second-hand shoes.
Photos of luxury through flea market frames;
Last year's fine china, ringed with watered-down booze.
Don't talk to me of "adulthood."
All over America, there are towns
And yet no one knows them
Except the citizens themselves
And can you blame them?
(It is their right, after all, to know the town they live in)
Some people want to be billionares
Or be on the cover of Forbes Magazine
I want to help you take a breath of fresh air
Give people sight who have never before seen,
the wonders of our big, big world.
Why am I writing this?
Well,
I filled out the forms,
and I exceeded "the norm."
I aced my classes
I perked up my nerd glasses.
I studied hard,
I did what they said,
Denied.
From the college of my dreams.
The one that was supposed to help me reach my goals
or that's what it seemed.
They denied me. Me.
The one who works so hard.
But they accepted him
It's like everything is falling
into my lap
onto my lungs
suffocating me
and making me feel the weight
of everything
all at once
drowning
It is my ambition to go to work as a computer engineer, marrying the software with hardware. I have been interested in it since I first learned how to build my own computer. I want to help design the technology we all use on a day to day basis.
When I was four I used to play school with my brother and cousin.We would take turns writing lessons on the chalkboard.The scribbles could have meant anythingFrom art to math to history.
Holy Spirit
creating enlightening
changing the world
We live in a world where we dont need to get to know someone
Cause' we're able to judge.
"OMG you too Ms. Imani?You see I... I thought I was the only"Thats what this young girl said to meas she glared at meno longer feeling lonely.
Next year will see me off to the Midwest,
Land of country music, hockey and snow,
It will cost my parents a lot of dough,
But I cannot believe how much I’m blessed.
Worried the weather will make me depressed,
Cameras are flashing
Smiles are from ear-to-ear
Heart rates increase
Tears shed down one's face
The sounds of the applause send waves in one's ear
Class of 2014
The day finally came.
I worked. I worked. I worked hard.
But for what?
Disappointment.
I spent the past 4 years slaving away
Behind books, pencils, pens
While you went to parties
Had lots of friends
Dreams
What do they mean?
Are they really just the end goal?
Or unrealistic fantasies
One my dream of fam or fortune
And what a wonderful dream that is
But I?
I dream to make a difference
Holding a camera, I gaze into the lense
What I see is a life where I create sense
For myself and others by showing them what words
Cannot express.
To change the views of audiences and reveal the raw
the first time i poured my heart onto a piece of paper, i made my mother cry.
tears cascaded down her cheeks because my words dug in deep like knives.
i realized that the world around me could vanish into a vapor,
The Joy of Baking
Do what you love
Never work a day
Alone in the apartment
Just the oven and I.
I bake up a storm
Never stopping to worry
Just cookies and cakes
Global Citizens
First week of school, info booths galore,
Fliers and pamphlets stacked to the roof from the floor.
But one stood out proudly, simply sublime,
Study abroad, the chance of my lifetime.
A nurse has always been the one thing I wanted to be,
And I will become one to the best of my ability.
To cure, to assist, to heal,
Would make my occupation surreal.
To change, alter, modifyIf I had the power to revolutionize,Every stroke of the brush placed in my right handwould ever so gracefully trace my vision.
a job will make you money,
but a career is about a dream.
jobs will take you far though,
and show what your career really means.
a job isn't about the salary
or about power or looking good;
It seems like,
everyone is always trying to change themselves
thinking it will change the world around them as
I'm paying for a piece of paper.I'm paying to take classes with information that I can find online with the click of a buttton.I'm paying to stay in a dorm where rules are constantly broken, and my sanity incessantly tested.
Life changes in the blink of an eye
One day you're here
The next you're there
So what if that all changed
What if your dream came true?
The dream of owning a store
Four years of college
Four years of math
Four years of science in every science class
General speaking which I hate the most
But when it comes to English i always take the gold
A job can change your life
Just a single one
Where you flip enough burgers to pay for school
Or scrub enough counters to buy a car
But a job will change more lives than just yours
I believe that if you work, you should do something you love.
Follow your passion, take action, and elevate yourself above
that everyday grind. Elevate yourself above that average state of mind.
College isn't easy
Some wouldn't even call it breezy
In fact, it takes a lot of work
And you don't even have to twerk.
Make the grades you should
And you will receive a plague made of wood.
Progress does not come without struggle,that is what my mom would say.So changing the world wouldnt be easy,take it day by day. They teach you God, Family, then Future
The child wanted to be an artist until she saw one with talent.
The child wanted to be a teacher, but her slight lack of patience would destroy her.
Your haggard look
And your
Mohawk
A combination
That I
Haven't thought
Initially
It gave me
Such a fright
But that all changed
On a
Thursday night
A dentist I want to be.
A dream that I want to meet.
Hard journey it is.
But is all for me.
Is only one job.
It going to be known.
Ill do my best.
To be up there.
I want to suceed.
We slice our lives down to 500 words,
--Words which can't begin to describe us,
Hoping for acceptance to write more words,
--Words which will never be fully appreciated.
We freely offer our 500 words,
Starving
Desperate, Hopeless
Wishing, Wanting, Begging
College, Debt, Wealthy, Employed
Striving, Achieving, Believing
One day
I will be that
A chef
One day
I'll make it
Big
One day
I'll go to culinay school
One day
I'll get my degree
All it takes is one
One day
The two lost souls, I only wish we met,
Sooner, I wish back then you said hello.
But that summer, oh I cannot forget,
the time we spent, to only watch you go.
We sit under the stars in your old jeep,
Hey Johnnie
Give me your lunch money
Hey Johnnie
Give me change for the bus
Hey Johnnie
Your locker rent is due
Hey Johnnie
There's a toll to get to class
Hey Johnnie
Usually I write to a rhythm or a beat
any time I need to speak on a problem that I meet.
But one thing in particular, I think is apt to change,
is how colleges will do anything to catch some change.
The sun is setting and the leaves are turning red
or are they green
Sit in the windowsill and lean back on the bed
Sniff in the citronella whistle through your nose
clean
You Lied
You Lead Me on
Man I thought I could trust you
Tought there was a reason you asked if I liked you
If I wanted to meet up
I thought maybe just maybe you to
Then you put me on the spot
One thing that I would change,
would not to be for my life to be re arranged,
from bedtime stories, to a goodnight kiss,
these are the things that I really do miss.
Days go longer, without my father,
Dreams of my future
All contain fuzzy pictures of my goal.
Perhaps I’ll heal wounds by sewing sutures
Or checking vitals and removing cancerous moles.
No one category is completely chosen
These words I'm spilling may not be quite clear,
a job is not a career.
Let us not strife,
but a job cannot change my life.
To see your reflection and see success,
must be the best.
It's my life, my passion, my one true love.
My soul, my escape, it's me.
I feel it in me, running through me, through my veins and in my blood.
It's music.
It's my cello.
I am stuck in a far too familiar place.
I need an adrenaline rush to make my heart race.
Pursuing a job as a flight attendant would be ideal.
Walking through crowded Times Square
Look left, look right, there are billboards everywhere
The colors the imagery throws me off beat
One day my designs will plaster these streets
I watched my first episode of CSI when I was four years old
Since then I’ve wanted to fill their shoes; since then I have been sold.
The Forensic Science and Law program at Duquesne, has exactly what I need
Every person has different thoughts
On who they want to be
We have been told since day one
that you can be whoever you want to be
At the age of five this makes sense
Cancer.
It's a strong word. Very strong actually.
It's a word that can bring about emotions that are so heavy, even the strongest of people can't hold them.
Shock. Uncertainty. Devestation. Desperatness.
I'm stuck in a place that is good for me,
It sucks, its hell ,it's weak to me.
Academics are great, and so is the school,
But the people all here act like a fool.
I go to a school that's a hidden gem
When you ask a child "what do you want to be"
Their answer naivee lays on the heart and warms you,
The smile on your face starts to curve even higher and you think
how sweet.
Can you hear me from where you are?
Im feeling alone where I am
I can't help but wonder if I'll go far
I miss your helping hand
I was accepted to my dream college did you see that? Are you proud?
Money doesn't grow on trees.
But is what your paying for really worth it?
College is a very important step to take but why is is costing so much?
Money doesn't grow on trees.
College is important.
Holding my breath.
Is this life or death?
The professor smirks and hands out the test
Does he understand this is theft?
The road before him
Is straight
Raised calf high above the ground
A mountainous cloud before him
So soft
Wide enough to anticipate his fall
But not his failure
My teacher said
Life starts at twenty-one
So that means my book
Hasn’t even begun yet
But now my prologue is at its edge
College will be my first chapter
My teacher said
Life starts at twenty-one
So that means my book
Hasn’t even begun yet
But now my prologue is at its edge
College will be my first chapter
My crimson sorrows, pour onto the floors,
Bathing each torn petal of my orchid,
Lying in my puddle of crimson crystals,
With the stained daggar of blood dripping royalty,
Royal in Hell!
Indie music, Starbucks, and a laptop in front of me:
Every tab open has something to do with my future.
3:04 am
think,
what joys are left?
i'm hiding from the "real" world:
of money and loans and signatures and confirmations and sighs
but is that real?
For the first time in forever
You find you are alone
For the first time in forever
You find your world has changed
You thought you were ready
You thought it a choice
The independence you craved
I’m not quite sure if I still have lungs
I feel like I’m respirating
I still smell
I still feel my chest expand and deflate
I’m still alive
But I don’t feel like I’m breathing
These highway lines burn designs into my focused eyes
eyes focused on a sight that blankets my mind
a blanket of where only comfort resides
This comfort, it's meaning, drowns my perception
College, the time In your life where you are in search of finding your own identity. Day by day as I am trying to portray what I think I am.
Maybe it’s 17, and you’re running down the road at 2 am, hoping that the boy you love is running
Collage is expensive, GPA is constraintive, scholarships are extensive, emancipation is the only way to pay.
Part 1
You are empty promises
Served on broken china and half-empty crystals
Of red red wine,
And your service slices through my delicated hands easily,
Creating wounds too wide to close.
Growing up, I was never the favorite.
The didn't-matter-never-did-get-your-grades-up.
My mom was a nurse, my dad a PhD.
My stepmom's doing her diss and I know she's going to make it.
Hello world
Do you hear me?
Do you see my existence?
Yeah I keep on trying
I’m filling applications
These tests are so bias
Forcing me to take them
Criticizing knowledge
While demeaning
Silence.
It surrounded me like a thick blanket,
a false illusion of security as I walked
across Fulton and through the market.
My flats tapped the ground, giving off no sound,
Stepping into the next chapter of your life.
Your gaze hits the vase as your sitting at the table.
You notice rose petals have landed in the water.
Can you believe it's really here?It's October of our senior year. Our class is closer, closer than ever.Why can't this year just last forever? As we send in our first college application,
I’m more than just a toy.
I’m not a valueless thing.
I’m not all about the fame, fortune, money, or bling.
I’m not “your woman” and certainly not a whore.
I’m me no matter what you do -
College Life is fun for me.
I like to go out and see
All the students walking by.
They stare at their iphones
and often hit their knee!
"I'm an alien with a heart and a face,
I am foreign, but where I go, I leave a trace.
They told me my dreams were too far at reach,
but back home,
that's not what they preached.
The sons of mortal men seek to diminish my existence,
They concentrating their energy on breaking my resistance,
To that Bullsh*t,
All up in my ear with nonsense,
Senior year is magical
Filled with memories and radical
Ideas on who we are supposed to be
Alive and free
We say is what matters most
Beyond the exterior roars confusion
A rhapsody of complete destruction
When a heart and head fight
There’s no fair end in sight
When I was a small child I would dream
I would dream reams ha woul ake me far off,
the dreams made me an astronaut on a space ship
the galaxies were mine to control, i wold surf the skies
Saying goodbye is never easyIt always comes sooner than we intendThey make our insides uneasyBecause we don't know when the missing will stop and decend
A little blonde girlshe stepped onto a plaine and away with her family she went
Away from her friendsand her comforts and carefreeswith her ponitailed hair all unkempt
Stress
If I could personify
Such a thing as Stress
I would call it dark
Or maybe even Bright
As to blinding it victims
from all that is not it
If I could personify
They are said to be the best,
They are said to be the worst.
They can make you,
And they can break you.
You will learn much
Over these years;
Will you learn all
That you need?
We sat on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
The Walrus and I
He spoke harmoniously of things
His favorite things
Like fields of strawberries
Lucy in the sky
And rock Starrs
I got a new mattress today.
Fresh, clean, and filled with springs
To hold me up when I’m unable.
My new mattress hugs me goodbye
Every day, when I leave to go to school,
Look Up
And see the
big
red
building
spreading out in front of you
like a horizon
begging you
to reach out
and touch it.
Home.
And you stand
We learn to walk the halls
Put our heads down
And play along
Why are the lights so dim?
Is this a classroom
Folds of purple satin cloth,
Swallow me.
The lancet from out of darkness,
Taunts me.
Creaking stairs choke on themselves,
begging for attention, I cannot give.
I have always wanted to go on an adventure
across Europe, carrying my life in a backpack.
Except, I’d be that person carrying everything in a box.
When it comes time leave for college,
At last I have started a new beginning
A new start where I have no history
No history that follows
At last I can see a bright start
A bright start to my new future
A new future that follows
It's difficult to know just what is right
and what is wrong in this provincial life.
One never knows just what to do or say
to make all of the pain go right away.
College... That place we all wish to be. That place we say we need, to get through life... worry free. College... Ive been told its a great place. But to know I cant afford it, leaves me sideline to the race. Wait... No....
College, man i couldnt wait to go there, i knew i was in for some fine guys, the parties, and of course we all appreciate the freedom it brings.
It seems so far away
And the road never smooths
The thistles keep on sticking
Its seems that there will always be grooves
That goals are just wishful thinking,
In the midst of all madness one thing will stay true
a future,a purpose, for me and for you.
Each person, each problem, so big or so small
will only push you to the point of it all.
We’re going to the zoo today; we’re going to the zoo!
Woops! I meant the Zou, okay? We’re going to Mizzou.
However, in a way, I meant what I said.
It is a zoo and we’re going to see how the animals are fed.
Finally in my true home,
I have a strong and whole heart.
Strengthened by my new family,
And nurtured in my new community.
The happiness swells inside,
But is chipped away at
I am not a stereotype
So leave your uneducated black girl
Fried chicken
And nigga behind
Don’t characterize me by the color of my cashew skin
But instead, take a deeper look with in
From birth I was attached
More than most I think
I couldn’t handle being handed to a stranger
Not for daycare or kindergarten or the grades after that
I could tell it was hard for you too
My time in high school is about to end.
Soon I will walk out these doors forever.
I won’t lie, I have laughed and grinned.
Memories I will not forget, never.
An average dream usually only lasts a few seconds; sleeping that is.
Dreaming while awake never leaves you, until it’s fulfilled
Everybody has a dream.
Everybody has a goal.
Everybody has an opportunity.
The Girl Next Door
Dripping in gold
I’m shining in the club
All the men, they want a chance to hold
It's true to say,
Every girl has flaws,
And it's true that its displayed
Every guy has been clawed.
But ones for sure,
For me it's a personal tour.
I can say that I've loved
Have you ever leaned back
And watch the world turn?
Turning, turning…
Have you ever felt
The sigh of relief
As the bell rings
And the hall is filled
With the shuffling feet?
Let’s start with the incredible decision ofnot grabbing your sweater or a pair a gloves this morning.Despite that you sawwith you YR OWN eyes that it was a mere 30 degrees which,
They say you can't do it, your brain isn't right.
She just looks at them and smiles with her bright innocent eyes.
They say you don't have what it takes, you can't be normal.
“You won’t get into college.”“If you don’t take these classes, you won’t get accepted into the schools you want."
To A.D. :
You came with a red face and wet eyes, the first proffessor I'd ever be taught by.
You were the first proffessor, teaching the first class of the first day.
My first class of my first day.
Dear ProfessorI speakI speak on nothing so you do not hear meI bleedI bleed not blood but knowledge as it boils overI have not reached my full potentialDear Professor
I try.
That is all I can do,
All I know how to do.
Yet my principal says that's not good enough,
My counselor says I need a higher goal.
But what is it worth telling them?
Last time I checked I was in college,
paying a whole lot of money to gain some sort of knowledge.
I am surrounded by students who have absolutely no clue,
and teachers who do nothing but preach their world views.
Tommy needs help solving a problem
ha! he needs to be lock up in an asylum
who wants to find the volume
of a barrel with a hole and a steady leakage,call them
Formulas to remember
Dry Eyes
By McCoy Crawford
Students drop in like rain from their previous classes
The teacher sets up the projector
You take
my money
and you
fail me
with a
smile.
You praise
my hard-work
and you
fail me
with a
smile.
You smile
at my
pain. You
I go to school to become smart and get an education,
Not to listen to your secular points of views, and condemnation.
You talk in such a droning voice,
I'm falling asleep, it's not my choice.
What you keep trying to teach me lacks logic,
and I'm learning nothing, isn't that ironic?
I.
I believe.
I believe in.
I believe in higher ed.
I believe in higher ed.
Education is the backbone of our society,
Showing the path to the future emphatically.
I've worked my whole life
just to prove my worth.
I've pushed myself,
skipped parties to study.
Now is the moment of truth.
The moment where the next four years
of my life will be spent.
How do you expect us to conform to buying your books?
How do you expect us to rest well?
How do you expect us to eat properly?
How do you expect us to arrive on time?
How do you expect us to become great people?
Take high school seriously
Wouldn’t want the smart people giving you sympathy
Young women have more pride
Be classy or be nothing, darlings you decide
Pregnant teenagers popping babies
I was always told to dress the part so
I put on my costume.
A white collared shirt,
A skirt to my knees
And a mask of a forced smile
Along with a face covered in pounds of makeup,
Did you know I have dreams, hopes and goals, a wish?
I'm sure you did- doesn't everybody have ambitions to admit?
But did you know I can't manage to look past my wrists?
When you walk through the halls and students don't know
If you're a boy or a girl, and think their confusion don't show
Professors claim we lazy and just don’t get it
Nah sir, that point? You done missed it.
It’s a scary time to be young, black, and gifted
The frame of picture we was supposed to paint done shifted
Forbes publishes “top jobs,”
and the sport of Googling can easily yield endless lists of “best careers” of any given year,
even those that have yet to come.
These labels are slapped
onto underrepresented fields,
Sitting in a room full of people but nobody can hear your scream.
Walking down the halls alone as if you were in a horrible dream.
college rocks, that's a class I am taken,
it better rock when I'm going to spend my life savings,
Miss Doctor Professor Mrs. Teacher Mister,
Can I show you how much your class means to me
20 years from now?
Let me get up and walk out the door
Because every second that hangs himself, by his big red hand,
We know you have years experience.
We know you went through college too.
We know you have the power to teach us however you want.
To fail us, to pass us.
You fail to give us information, to help us study
You see a Face,
A Statistic
A Number
Another name on a list.
But I am MORE
-A Person.
The principal brought me into his office. I was a bad student for a day.
I spent my time there in awkward silence as the principle took me through the actions today.
The college professor stands at the head of the class, his voice rises easily above the mass. Many students think this class will be a piece of cake, not knowing the true effort this class will take.
Enough with radical equations and notations
And teach us about the struggles of life
Teach us about business plans and their relations
And educate us on how to survive the night
I'm a good student, but where will that get me
My only plan is Del Tech so college prices won't hit me
Nobody wants you unless you excell at sports
Thats not me, I'm into the books
You tell us to prepare for college
And cram our brains with useless knowledge
That won't help us in our lives
Won't help us support our wives
Why am I learning about pre-calculus,
It was all I needed to see
the bridge to reach my dream
standing tall, reassuring me
to my future, my grand scheme
It used to only be a view
a sight from the city I love
I can’t stand it.
Everyone thinks that they know better,
But they don’t.
You say that we need to know the things that we learn, they're important to graduate, you were quite stern.
Senior year is flying by,Gently, swiftly, like a butterfly.It's what we're used toWe cling on tight,We are still wobbling birds,Not quite ready for flight.Then comes a point,
You're here for a reason. You serve a great purpose.
So why through the seasons haven't you breached the surface?
In a class full of many, I feel like one person
not of the student body but isolated and searching
Trauma: The Most Powerful Lecture By: Matthew Luz
High School, a place of pity, I ask the teacher "are you listening",
There is always talk and hype
About what we, the students, are going to do with the rest of our lives.
But schools don't really give their students advice
Why do you say I can’t go to a college?
So because I was not born in this country?
This is unfair! what about all my knowledge?
Wonder what it's like in the public eye.
Everyone knowing everything,
No secrets Whatsoever,
Judging stares; hateful words.
Wonder what it's like to always have a front.
To be what others want,
It’s like a comet hitting your hometown football field, but it makes you miss it for the first time.
Blame it on me,
the student.
All because I can't see
I can't see why you teach;
All you do is preach.
There's never a lesson.
In one ear and out the other,
is my confession.
I’m woken when I wish to sleep.At first I saw nothing but stars andfearsome colors swirling inside my head.
Time crawled past,breath rasping and wheezing.
Afraid of what I may become.
Frightened by the thought of the future. My body is
Radiating fear. The fear of what will happen when I leave. My mother is
Afraid that I won't come back to spend some quality time.
I sit in this class,
Boredom running its fingers through my hair.
Teacher is talking history,
Delving into some guy's affair.
Then we move on to slavery,
A topic I have learned of before.
Who are you?
Are you the one I seek guidance from,
Or the one who depresses me?
What is your name?
Can it be the angelic symbol I follow,
Or the projects that surround me?
Ignorarnce.
An education is something that’s long
With angry teachers constantly yelling
So you need to be ready and be strong
Or Students will be finally telling
The rallies at school make us really sad
You think the world revolves around you,
as most college professors do.
Really?
Hell, I have a lot more things on my mind than your class.
Tutoring.
Eating.
Working.
Surviving.
He's on every wall of every room,
Around our necks and in our heads,
In our hearts, in what we said.
He hangs on the cross,
Head bowed in shame
'Cause you can't do one thing.
There is no good morning when I sit in this class at 7am
I don’t give a care about what you’re sayin
How would listening to you rant help me
Achieving a dream, is this how it’s supposed to be?
I come from a small island
People here get comfortable,
They know their neighbors,
They fish,
They hunt,
They pass down stories for generations,
School isn’t always important.
Teaching a langauage is his speciality,
He should think things over before he speaks to me.
He's not even my teacher yet it's me he judges,
Little did he know I am known for holding grudges.
A score.
A mocking, generic, monotonous score
defines us.
Humility, humanity, philanthropy,
do not matter, because only a score
defines us.
Years of hardwork shattered by
I am still trying to figure out how I am special
When I am seen by a number that I get on a test
Like hey, you're 97% percent better than the rest
But there's still the 3% who win
And here I am
I stayed up so many nights doing busy-work
That you've assigned.
And you didn't even give us back the grades
From the test we took about
Lets see...
Three weeks ago?
I'm doing my absolute best
I know I'm not stupid, I just seem to barely pass. It's not that I don't try, it's because I'm not Her, the one in my class. She is funny, hilarious in fact. I just sit in the corner, not knowing how to act. Her hair flows, skinny jeans show h
A cry for help seems to come from deep inside of me. What am I supposed to do, what am I supposed to be? Time is running out and I'll be running all around. Fitting in my time before you lift up off the ground. You are leaving and not coming back,
We're chilling on the first day of classes.
Checking out the local asses and making passes.
A week ago, we was in the neighborhood,
being a hood rat was all we understood.
Sneaking 40 proof to my internship
One day I want to be a nurse
I will need a lot of science
And english courses
So when will I ever need to know
A rush and it's over
Cars flash by, lights blink shut
Candles flicker, sound crashes along
And my head whirls with
The Speed of Light
A world that never stops moving
Never sits and thinks
Hello, my name is Average
which was decided by my college
forgetting, ignoring, skimming over my accomplishments
Am I just a number?
Hi, my name is 3.7
english, math, science, history
The panopticon encloses, consumes
a prisoner, working for time off
always cleaned up after supper
dragged the wet rags across the frozen shower floor
After 18 years of adolesence the time has come,
its time for college this should be fun!,
Enrolled at the community college i'll bring my pen,
I said to my proffesor, "wow, this seems like highschool all over again....".
Welcome to college students, this is the life!
Our campus is banging and full of spice.
Our student to professor ratio make classes great.
Come on in we will hold the gate.
Now I am here I am on my own.
You SitIn the same chairsurrounded by the mindless,the dullthe Are You Seriously Sleeping Right now?the “I do it to make my parents proud”the stereotypesthe What Even Is That
What I would like to see
Consists of greater funding of three.
The first builds upon creativity.
The second trains many, for jobs.
The Third explains everything.
First, is seen everywhere,
They told me to excel in school
But what does it mean to excel?
They told me to keep my grades up
So I made straight A’s.
Then they told me to challenge myself
Do we really even learn anything
I've been pushed to the limit, my brains on a string
College just sucks,
I'm paying big bucks
And my professors don't even know my name
I am a Dreamer
a Dreamer who has faith
a Dreamer who wants to be someone in life
i don't want to stay home and slack off
i want to work hard so that in the end it will all pay off
i know i'm not alone
We have one tutor,
for a class of kids.
How do you expect me,
to learn like this?
One tutor
to do all of this?
You hardly even
make it down your list.
I like you a lot
I do everyone else jobs without complaining
I do all these things for you, for what, tell me what am I gaining
I fail to realize that I have a voice that should be heard
The sun has peaked and at its highest
Here still I am without a clue to life even in the slightest
This window, fogged, scratched, and tattered
Tinted black, without a chance to flee from its fetters
The professor’s prominent position
allows for him to prescribe definition
To teach with traitorous teeth
Troubled students beginning to teethe
Alphabets for acronyms sitting atop an acropolis
This is my fight
My reason to write
Music is my voice
and the world is my audience
I'll speak my wisdom
through a riff and a song
and when the world turns their ears
I'll show them the wrong.
Inspire
Inspire
Is that not your job
To show me my way.
Your heart only beats for the subject
beats for the paycheck
Not for your disciples
Light the way
We all need it
"Push to be the greatest."
That's what is always said.
"You can't settle for second best."
This is the curse upon my head.
One simple test in my third grade year,
From then on, I'm nothing but a number.
You're not allowed to be a kid anymore; no more fooling around, be serious;
every move you make from here on out will affect the rest of your life;
the teachers are bogus
they say the are observent
but they never notice
the kid treated like a servant
they push him to the ground
they kick him around
and the teachers avert their eyes
I checked the clock
it's way past time
Why don't you smile?
And light up this dreadful
hall. These fluorescent
lights burn into my soul
and please don't smirk
when I say:
In your little class, I am but a little busy bee
Who understands nothing and nothing is what I see
The work is assigned like soilders to a barrack
But we look down and merely grin and bear it
Another summer over
8am climbing out of bed
First day of college
5 classes ahead
Soggy breakfast at the café
That’s another upset stomach
Professor is 30 minutes late
The beginning of the end of our childhood.
The first semester of the last year.
So many endings.
like reading the last book of a series
after each chapter, wanting to reread it
so the story never ends.
with some of these teachers i just want to use profanity
they talk and talk and talk i think i just might lose my sanity
they can go off on so mant irrelivant rants
I'm finally here
Right where I want to be
It seems as if it has taken forever
For me to see so clear
But here I am
A college student
Making her way through classrooms and side walks
Oh the time of time
in a timeless time
where not a care
lingers 'round
we leave ourselves
and become
someone else
and imagination
goes unbound
They say you're a sweetheart
But I just can't see
How that can be possible
When you don't help me
He's prodding at my heart
She's stabbing my vein
You can't bother to notice
Haunted tales drift through the air, lingering like the fog that rises from the ground on crisp mornings.
Senior year is here!!!
Senior year is now
These past eleven years
Have gone by fast
I often hear stories of success
Of those who got into UCs
But I also hear stories
There are Children who cannot speak-
Or eat- or breathe- or sleep- or think-
And how to long to stand and take
That which they believe is theirs-
Cowed, alone, quiet, scared-
I'm sinking in an ocean created by my own tears. My eyes as red fire.
I'm drowning now. My breath slowly fading away. There's nobody here to save me.
All I can hear are the voices in my head. They're screaming things at me.
Education is the key to success but how can I have success when all the teachers do is disrespect
Sometimes I want to tell myself f*ck school but how could I think like that
MY THOUGHTS ARE MINE
THEY ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST A COUPLE LINES
I DOT UNDERSTAND WHY LIFE INT ALWAYS EASY
THE THPUGHT OF IT BEING SO COMPLICATED GETS ME QUEEZY
IF WE COULD ALL JUST BE HAPPY
If ever your heart is troubled,
If ever you're filled with fear,
Know that my love is with you,
Know that I'll always be near.
Maybe there'll be miles,
Or seas between you and I.
University of Arkansas just awaits
Stressful scholarship applications are everywhere in sight
A destination that is desired
Education issomething all of us agree is important.Yet all over the world and in places we dare not gomany are ignorant without it.The lower class, African Americans, and women
Mr. & Ms.
I am not a robot
I am not a prisoner
I am not paperwork
I am your future
I have feelings
I have ideas
I have talents
You have certification
Teach me
Life is about expression,
Showing the world who you are.
Free from oppression,
Not afraid to reach for the stars.
Her expression is hollow,
But full at the same time full.
Today you caught me sleeping in class
the fact of the matter I was dreaming I would pass
so while you were taking notes and giving F's
I was catching up on last nights rest.
You question me on if I cared
love can be for anything
it is something expressed between two people
love is caring, kind, and unconditional
while still be cruel and ugly
yet people are still able to live through it no matter what occurs
I worry every day
worry of school
Worry of future
worry of relationships
But what do I worry most?
Who I am.
I stand tall and proud
I stand with purpose
Do you think I care
When you say i'll fail?
Do you think I care
When your classes i bail?
Do you think i care
that you want me to be quiet?
Do you think i care
if the class is a riot?
I am so dull
In a room that is so dark
I have entered a place where I am so clueless
I am BOLD, I am BRAVE,
Who are YOU to tell me I'm not.
I may not be the fastest to understand, but I give what I've got.
My BEST....is it enough?
I study, I struggle, I even go without sleep,
I’m trying to find something to base my life upon,Something in this strange world that goes on and on. As the years go by and time fades away, What used to be "good days" are now filled with dismay.
Flowing through my classeswalking down the hallspeople start their laughingso I look down as I walkI pity classless filthy trashThat's just the way I feelSometimes I shatter like glass
Misty ground and rainy skies, forever young inside my eyes.
Ghosts ever present, Undead hands on hill like terrain
Like sleep so long ago forgotten.
What can be said to green forever burning away?
Well...
I stand up for what I believe in,
I'll always be the same, no matter the season.
Come back after winter break, I'll be the same... sorry.
I like football, music, food, tv, and atari.
I am driving without gas and without a destination.
On a track without interpretation.
Seemingly moving forward striped of imagination.
I look ahead and see nothing to my devastation.
When I ask you if I can go to the bathroom, you say,
"I don't know, can you?"
I guess instead of "can" I should say "may,"
But I don't know, can you stop with the stupid jokes?
As I walk around afraid of the unseen
I cherish the light once seen in a dream
Hoping to find the dreams deferred
Poor little thing,Your weakness lies within your strength. Presenting as a monument,So strong and assuring,No one bothered checking For those cracks in the porcelain. They saw the sculpture
I’m the girl they call goodie goody
Goodie goody?
I think not!
Goodie goody my ass!
I’m the quite girl who sits in the front of the class room, answers questions when asked
Dear All,
let me go onto
explain society’s
lust for the imperfect
outlook of perfectionism
in our educational systems today.
This is a projected scenario
for my senior year in 2014
I can’t tell him
“No, I don’t understand”
Because he’s sighing at me
Looking over glasses at me
As I break down in his office
I can’t tell him
“Please, explain it to me”
Upon arriving to Brit Lit I see
Books on tables that no one will read and faces as blank as notebooks and their minds
Teacher, before we start the dramatics,
Before the sighs begin.
I would like for you to know
about what really happens within.
Yes, sir; the problem IS written clearly on the board.
Efficency trumps over education
Teachers following a script.
"Turn to this page at this time and say these words."
Are we even learning anymore?
As long as the scores look high
We live
To the test
For the test
By the test
My life is not the test
I have done things that do not mattermeasuring my worth with each grain of self entitlement I've poured into teaspoonsfor the sake of making surei don't ask for too much
Teacher, Teacher by the wall
Is this the best lesson of them all?
All you do is make us read,
Is this really what we need?
All of your lessons,
Seem like obsessions.
And now it’s time,
What can I tell you about my school?
It’s okay, nothing special
Been with the same kids year after year
Been with the same teachers year after year
It tends to get monotonous
Hearing the same drama
Where do I begin?
Well to start off with; we, students, are not typically morning people
So our brains cannot absorb everything
Give us a break when it is the morning
We came to school didn’t we?
One year in:This place is so big and I am so small... Ugh! I can''t even reach the top shelf in my locker... Sigh...What is that smell?How do these people eat this stuff? I'm pretty sure that beef isn't supposed to be grey...
My heritage and my background,
The color of my skin or the color of yours
the length of my hair or the length of my nails,
My hieght or my size only have as much power as i give them
Testing! Testing!
Screaming through my head,
quivering hand,pencil of lead.
many questions left unsaid,
motor boat of a heart,
filling with dread.
Testing! Testing!
Tests begin, light bulbs go up.
Fuck you
for giving me work that I
have no time to finish,
because I need extracurriculars to impress the colleges
you tell me I won't get into.
Fuck you for hating your job
To the professors and teachers of my past,
Especially to those who taught the classes I passed,
There are some things you preached to me,
Some I have found true and others I disagree.
I do not care about quadratic equations, or the two sides of a triangle, or your short version of history that doesn’t go over everything.
I do not care about how to find C when X equals A times B that equals Z.
Waking to my alarm, I hate hearing that sound/ having to attend school, wishing I could drown.
Turn this in by tomorrow you say. But, you take eons to give me mine back.
Can you believe, one time the students had to teach the class?!
No, no not a presentation day.
The teacher was just that inept.
There's no one looking out
For the students at the "ghetto school".
We're taught to pass the standardized tests,
To think enough to make the grade.
Subliminally, you teach us that we're not worth it.
To the educators of my school.
No student is the same.
We all agree knowledge is an useful tool.
That's the whole reason I got out of bed and came.
You need to understand homework is not always the key.
Three times a marking period That's how often we can go But if you are married Then shouldn't you already know? You say it's too much, disruptive, distracting If we could stop it, we wouldn't be asking You've never experienced the anxiousness of
Oh smart teacher,
how you glance upon that board,
explaining the wornders of art and....life,
as you are explaining what the great philosophers before us,
feels their take on the subject you,
You really can say anything you want to your teacher
Wait, I take that back, don't call her a ugly creature
And if you do and want to get on her good side
Don't swear or you'll get on the wrong side of the Jekyll and Hyde
What do you see in the classroom?
Simply just students,
some good and some bad,
either listening to your teachings
or ignoring them?
What do you see in the hallway?
No Mr./Mrs.______ I do care
it's just that I believe you are unaware
that I have 6 other classes
that I take
and at 12am
I am still awake
doing homework
and pushing myself
Why is it that a school could feel like prison
an institution where there's no one to listen
We are denied of expression
if it's not a calculus lesson
Where the funding goes elsewhere
It's 5 AM, time to wake up
and put on make up,
so you don't look so tired,
those freshmen can smell exhaustion.
TA-ing Comp 101 all day
and your own classes all night,
Dear Authorities,
You know, it would be alot easier-
if you actually payed a bit more attention to me.
I don't blame you though.
You've got a lot of students:
You've seen the jocks,
and the nerds,
For years, I have been cheated.
Exceeding your expectations with hesitation.
I don't want to be read to,
I came here to acquire your knowledge because you have a certification.
You teach us how to think,
you teach us what to know,
you teach us to be a friend,
but to also be a foe.
You teach us how to walk,
you teach us what to wear,
you teach us to be ourselves,
So hey
I get it
you're a teacher
you only have so much time
and money
and patience
and like I understand that teaching wasn't what you expected
you thought it'd be like in high school
Work here and work there
Work work work
Don’t sleep
Don’t stop
Don’t think
But stop complaining
You are in control
I do as you say
I think as you think
There are times where you feel like an outcast, and that, I didn't know you were in this class statement you get
Not many African American students at school take college classes in high school, but there's little old me in big AP
When the voice of a distant cry
Wriggles under the paper prison you began
I start to grow into another skin
Yet, as soon as you turn your head towards me
The world slowly grows dead
Tears
Drama
Yelling
Fights
Everything that makes high school, high school
I couldn’t imagine seeing anything different
Passionless teaching sorrounding us,
Obsorbs the excitment of most,
Drousy and bored causes a fuss,
or sketching our trip to the coast.
Lunch is dull and tasteless,
Although we get a break,
a thunderous, excited cloud
riddled with electric charge
it bellows and booms
will i be caught with my slicker
or will i dance with unclothed feet
will i fall into the puddles
or jump
She's back you know-
making the wallflower's feel...
pretty
but, they'll soon realize her lies
and the pain she puts them through,
only makes her stronger.
Junior year and so much pressure for a test,
"You HAVE to do good!" "You have to be the best!"
But for what? It's just a stupid sheet of paper
That's supposed to tell where I will be later.
Remember when how you stood in front of the class
Lectured endlessly on the psychology of the mind
Compressed pain into tiny, sterile words
Depression and self-harm and anorexia,
Epigraph: Parents are in fact teachers, and though we feel that we can tell them anything, sometimes it is to them who we can't say our "sh*t." So, this is something I would like to tell one of my teachers, my father.
Emotions are whirling
Stress finds me everywhere
Sometimes I just want to be alone
I don't know how much of this I can bear
Emotions are whirling
Stress finds me everywhere
Sometimes I just want to be alone
I don't know how much of this I can bear
The day I got my classes, I felt so glad to have them.
I thought this year would bring forth some more excitement and more knowledge.
After only one day in each class, I only really liked math.
It's the last year of imprisonment
The last of my safety
One says it's a step to a new life
Perhaps, the closing of youth...
Is it death?
Never have I ever
Felt the uttermost dread
Three famous words of Shakespeare
I've spent thirteen years of my life in school
I think I'm ready for another 4 plus.
I saw the heartbreaks; the failures; the successes
I see you up there.I see you lazying through last year's slides.That error that was pointed out to you - The mathematical typo - I see you haven't fixed it.Hey Professor!Why not take our pace for a change,
I don't think you understand
The effect the word 'college' has on me.
The more you talk,
The more my heartbeat races.
Taking off like a plane to Britain
It won't stop.
A thousand thoughts lie unspoken
A medley of words in my head
I could never bring myself to say things out loud
So I kept my silence instead
Too many unexpressed ideas
Scholarship
Ship.
The sails full of promise.
Wind,
Only moving forward with
Powers of change.
This axe of our views hides quietly away
its blade rarely sees the light of day
These days no one can get the axe
The teachers abuse and swear
Some children find this case unfair.
Go to school
Become bored
Whine
Waste time
It is a sign.
What happend to the education?
We learned to memorize.
We learned to patronize.
I was never fond of family reunionsand recently a not-so-close relativecame up to me and said“So many twentysomethings are dropping out.Where do you want to be in 10 years? You better make us proud.”
The briny breathes of the Humber welcomed my parents to the its shores,
and left their cheeks flushed along with their hair unkempt.
Teachers, are you really that blind?
It's senior year and I finally realized something.
While I'm filling out applications every night, I can say
these four years in high school have been amazing!
I have been getting perfects score on my quizzes
but when my exam came back, I almost had a heart attack.
In my mind I had written a letter on the matching portion
but to my dismay I have left blank three questions!
She was a good girl
an innocent child, new to the world
thrown into life
with no clue what to do
she tried to stay pure, she tried to avoid
the real world problems and troubles
Feet on ground
Head in the sky
Making plans for the future
When I am barely getting by
Just happy to be smiling
So lucky to be alive
Whether money grows on trees
Or I am begging on my knees
Lost.
Hopeless.
Tear filled eyes
Gaze
Upon the scene.
The horror.
What mad game has the artist played?
Conjuring up dark roots,
Faded memories,
I feel like I've been sitting here
Waiting for my time to come
But no seconds are passing me by
I'm tired of looking out this window
But the leaves reveal with every fall
Some advice I consider the bestSurprisingly I got it from Mr. West"If you admire somebody, you should go 'head and tell em'People never get the flowers while they can still smell em'"I met you in my freshmen year
Why can't I just stay near home for college, mom?She thinks I've back myself into a corner. Filled with fear and uncertainty. And she is afraid for me. "You need to spread your wings" she tells meBut what if I spread them too wide and hurt myself?
SUNY Potsdam is where I've arrived,
Where I stand on the shoulders of those who've strived.
Even though were in good standing
I need to vent about some issues that aren't worth baring.
