More Than A Number

Sat, 01/06/2018 - 12:32 -- Gracevb

Location

1705 Barn Stall Lane Virginia Beach
United States

    January 6, 2018

    Mr. Addme Toyourlist, Assistant Dean of Admission 

    University of  My Dreams

    1 Inspired Way

    Statistic, VA 11111

 

Dear Dean Touryourlist,

I am responding to your request of more information about my application apart from my

courses, 

grades, 

and test sco-

finally.

Finally,

FINALLY!

It's not ALL about the numbers!

 

those...numbers...

the numbers that made my hand go numb and my heart a wreck,

the numbers i have worked my entire life to perfect.

but they're just numbers on a screen

that will send me away as soon as i turn...

 

18.

 

but compared to all i do, those numbers are child's play

these words that i'm typing don't even convey

that i put my heart into everything i do.

but most likely, 

you have seen that too.

 

so, do i try to stand out?

NO

i need to fit in!

and if it kills me,

alert my next of kin

that…that

       THAT I

        I WILL NEVER SIT DOWN AND CONFORM

        I WILL NEVER STOP AND FULLY CHANGE MY FORM

        BECAUSE I,

 I don't “try” to stand out, I do that all on my own

because I am different and if that's not clearly shown,

then I'm sorry but I’m not right for your university.

I'm an all out fireball,

can't you see?

This passion inside can never fully be put out.

No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I..

       SHOUT 

       SHOUT THAT THE REAL ME IS BURNING INSIDE

       I'M TRYING TO FIGHT NOT TRYING TO HIDE

       MY VOICE WILL BE KNOWN AND NO LONGER SILENCED

       THIS FEELING INSIDE IS BORDERLINE 

                                                                     violent…

and then again, just like that….i’m back.

this lowercase voice that i wish i could lack.

it says: i’m scared the idea behind the essay has too much uncertainty.

why did i think this was a good idea? the absurdity!
grace! what are you doing!

can't you see this is insane?

you can't possibly explain what goes on in your brain...

 

you can't possibly convey all the meaning in this poem.

the reader won’t understand, you don’t even know em...

they won't know the purpose behind every word in this place,

like in the beginning and right now, when the words aren’t uppercase,

its that stupid little voice that is always heard

every time you try to do something absurd,

every time the real you wants to shine.

the voice that tells you to stop and color inside the line.

well i...i

            I DON'T FOLLOW THOSE RULES

            OR COLOR INSIDE THAT LINE.

            MY VOICE DEMANDS TO BE HEARD 

            I DEMAND IT TO BE MINE.

            AND....

                       sometimes it shakes,

                                                      sometimes it breaks,

                                                                                      I stumble so much sometimes it aches.

But I have to be me there's no other way,

but I am truly sorry for this outlandish essay.

If it comes off as weird, like my mind is in disarray.

But,

but I promise I'm just trying to show who I am,

these words on your screen are definitely not a sham.

 

And to explain to you that I am not fake,

I can even use numbers, those definitely aren’t opaque.

I can explain myself with data, but only one digit.

i'm very familiar with numbers because that's most of my life, 

isn't it?

A number that another crazy man understands too.

My icon, my hero, the writer Dr. Seuss.

One last time to show I'm a number then I'm done...

 

“You gotta be odd to be number one”

 

 

Thank you for your consideration,

 

Grace VB

Prospective Student

This poem is about: 
Me
Guide that inspired this poem: 
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

Comments

Gracevb

Life In A Letter Scholarship Slam

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