What If?


This weekend I learned you get back what you put in. It was nine o’clock at night when my phone buzzed. I quickly pull it out of my pocket and read the text, “You down for the State party?” Corbin asked. “I’m already in my car,” I reply. I jam the key into the ignition of my 1995 Honda Accord station wagon, the engine roars to life. I can’t help but to grin as I speed towards the University. I step out of the car, music can be heard in the distance, the smell of pizza and beer fills my nose. I pause for a second, my mouth goes from a grin to a smile. A smile so big, my cheeks felt as if they are going to seize up from overuse. I whip out my phone and quickly type, “here”. “It’s over by the turtle pond, meet me at the front gate,” he responds in seconds. Before I could even put my phone back in my pocket, my legs propelled me in the direction of the music. A few short minutes later I found myself standing at the front gate. Behind the gate a massive sea of red and black bounced to the music blaring from the stage. Suddenly a hot hand is on my left shoulder, it spins me around. “Corbin! You douche! You scared the shit out of me. What’s up,” I ask as I shake his hand. “This is about to be so much fun,” he yelled, trying to compete with the music. We step into line and wait for our turn. “Finally we’re up,” I’m thinking as I stroll past the security guard. He immediately stops me and asks for my Aztec ID. Corbin pulls out his and tells him not to worry because I’m his guest. Before I knew it we were in. Flashing lights, attractive girls, and the red and black SDSU shirts surround us as we shuffle through the crowd. Two girls approach us and we get to talking. Everything is going well until one of the girls ask me which dorm I live in. I explain to her that I don’t actually go there, I go to community college. We talked for a couple more minutes but the conversation had slowed down so the girls said they had to go. Every time I had a conversation with anyone, after I would say that I go to community they would lose interest and leave. The party was ending so Corbin grabs three girls and heads off to a frat party. I decide that I’ll just head home. As I walk toward my car, large groups of people wearing SDSU shirts pass me their faces, full excitement and smiles, headed to the parties. I look down at my shirt, it was red but doesn’t say SDSU or Aztecs, the smile I had once had earlier is gone. The night air is cold as I drag my feet along the side walk. I reached my car after was seemed like an eternity. The door squeaks as I open it, I put the key in the ignition and the engine begins to putter. I pull away from the curb and drive home, passing all the parties. I pull up to my house and park. I get out of my car and take a breath in, the smell of beer and pizza fill my nose no more. I no longer see a sea of students wearing red and black, no more flashing light, or attractive girls. I enter my house and go to my room. I take off the red shirt and throw it on the ground before I lay in my bed. I look over at my high school portfolio filled with my mediocre grades. I close my eyes and think, “What if?”


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