Speak

Location

As the pen moves across the paper
As my fingers glide across the keyboard
As she tells me she is my biggest fan
I write.
As gun shots call out innocent names and my wrists cramp
My eyes bore onto the paper in front of me
While my mother tells me to be all I can be, except me
I write.
I write because for that moment, I am all that matters and that's ok
And for that moment I am unselfish and still caring at the same time
When loves seems to find me and I write to let go and take everything in
For her. Because I lost love before and she helps me find it again
So I can still create magic on this paper and with this pen
So that my tears never fall too far instead they speak for me, are eligible and I don't care who reads them
 
So that I don't have to be afraid of playing soccer when the other girls are playing baseball
 
Because sometimes you need to wash me with the delicates
 
Or when I want to blend in with the colors and be dried on high like towels
 
I write. Because they encourage me
 
To be all I can be, and to be me
 
So I do not have to find shelter in my own home
 
So I don't need a crowd around me to no longer feel alone
 
It makes it easier to pick up the phone, to know what to say
 
To write a clever message and be proud of that
 
To be with them and be proud of that
 
Because I don't want to accept that I may love her
 
I don't want to accept the hurt my first love caused me, and try to forget the pain I caused him
 
Because maybe if I hold on a little bit tighter and wish a little bit stronger, I will
 
It makes it easier to deny things when I write
 
And easier to accept him, like my adoration for him and my growing fancy for her
 
To watch the end spill out into the paper or words form my fingertips that trace through my keyboard
 
To speak. To be heard through my voice and my voice only, to be seen through my eyes and transfixed in theirs
 
So you can never settle for less because their is nothing less about you
 
I write.

 

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