My weeks were set
Plans always were met
But none of them made by my mind.
Though she was kind,
My mother was blind
To the extent of my forthcoming debt.

Taught to always stay near
And be filled with fear
At the though of going away.
“There’s enough here;
I know how to rear
My own kids, at least for today.

“Most men are monsters
and all songs are lies.
Stay home and strengthen your family ties.
You’ve a brother and sisters
And a cat with cute whiskers
That surpass any old foreign skies.”

So I stayed home
Spent most time alone
While young siblings learned how to spell.
In all I could tell,
It took only a bell
To make a child search for a bone.

I read about Pavlov’s dogs
And how beavers use logs
To build their own little rooms,
Which flowers sprout blooms,
And birds that sing tunes
And how little they differ from frogs.

Old broadcasting stations
Taught me of nations
I’d never heard of before.
I could recount every war
Or tell stories of lore
But that called for terrible patience.

My peers thought me shy
And always walked by,
They left me to work on my own.
Teachers saw me alone
And sometimes called home,
But I think inside they knew why.

With books I had freedom;
Be in Narnia or Sweden,
I always made some kind of fun.
When another was done,
To the library I’d run
And travel to the Garden of Eden.

When stuck in a lair
Where they make you prepare,
I knew simply to bide my time.
For I’d be in that line
And all thanks to my mind,
I knew exactly what to beware.

This line led to mysteries,
Was full of uncertainties,
And rightfully frightened a few.
If only they knew
What I always knew:
To always traverse from your boundaries.

This line became a list
“Deadlines Not To Be Missed”
At this miniscule part of my life.
My parents lived in strife
At the thought of the price,
But in time, I could only persist.

College began in the fall
And would only revolve
Around all of the things I must do.
They did nothing new;
I hated it, too
It only could bring forth my downfall.

I was used to committing
Enough time in one sitting
To master an entire idea.
I could have swum to Korea
In the time it took to be a
Recognized student of knitting.

But fortune came through
And admitted me to
A semester to intern in Bristol.
I saw chandeliers of crystal
And chances to mingle
And all of my dreams coming true.

I’d never before
Had a chance to explore
A world that was different from mine.
I spent all my time
Learning to assign
Cards in the library’s drawer.

I worked in a castle
Of knowledge and dazzle
And finally found myself home,
Prepared to disown
Any notion of loans,
And with college myself disentangle.

I asked friends if they agreed
But was told to take heed.
“Why aren’t you scared?
There’s no way you’re prepared.
Insanity,” was all they declared.
“You have to learn more than you read.”

“Spend some time here
Then go back for a year.
Go finish learning your things.
You’ll get your degrees,
If you wish, spread your wings,
Then return when you want to be near.”

I finished my tea
In Bristol with glee,
Drinking each drop of my stay.
I returned in May
And was asked to relay
The tales of my time overseas.

I made myself brief
Yet still caused them grief
When I told of my plans to drop out.
My counselor did pout,
My mother did shout,
And I breathed a sigh of relief.

I finally could see
What I wanted to be
And not worry about what they would think.
“Your future: It’s right down the sink.”
But I only thought of reaching the brink
By going beyond the sea.

I returned to dear Europe
But found that honey and syrup
Did not belong on my plate.
Though I never was late
To shelve the king’s books’ estate,
I hoped that my fate would clear up.

Each day it was harder
To act as a martyr
For those who sought to fly free.
Though I worked with glee,
I could only foresee
A horrible act of departure.

Each day I wanted for food
Which impaired my mood
And left me in a lurch.
The only cost I could purge
Was my expense of reserve
And my bills that I hoped to elude.

My solace was found
Very deep in the ground
Below books of tales and tunes.
Abandoned rooms
Relieved my gloom
And my life seemed to be brought around.

In the library’s basement I stayed
With my own little parade
Of abandoned shelves of books.
I slept in the nooks
And often shared looks
With shadows my own mind had made.

I feared they would find me
And act quite unkindly
By sending me straight to a jail.
Or worse set me to sail
With my things in the mail
To walk as a shamed returnee.

Of course I was seen
When they came down to clean
My dark hole of a home.
I just should have known
It was dumb of me to roam
I wish they had not been so mean.

I cried and I cried
But they still thought I lied
About wanting to work with their books.
I was sent home as a crook
Home to menacing looks
All I could say was, “I tried.”

At home I would study
And clean shoes that were muddy
Of my siblings still home with my mother.
Though I asked for another
Chance to recover
My name, they thought I was nutty.

I stayed in that town
Until we almost were grown
But these children, I sought to teach.
I tried not to preach,
But expressed to them each
It takes more to be on your own.