One thing that I would change,
would not to be for my life to be re arranged,
from bedtime stories, to a goodnight kiss,
these are the things that I really do miss.
Days go longer, without my father,
I need some touch, some warmth, some sense of a true love,
a taste of masculinity in my female household,
a fathers hand for me to hold.
He didn't know.
He didn't know that I needed him as much as I did,
He didn't know that I was no longer a kid.
The pressures from boys were wrapped all around in my brain,
I know my father wasn't all to blame,
I needed touch,
I needed my fathers love and support.
I needed to hear
I'm proud of you.
So I went,
looking for love,
looking for acceptance,
looking for masculinity,
in others beside my father.
That was when I lost my innocence.
If I could change one thing,
It would be that I would realize that a boys lust,
doesn't mean love.