College

Is always a prominent weight on my shoulders

Is a monster hiding under my bed waiting…    waiting…     waiting.  

To strike and take me hostage and determine the outcome of my life.

Is like the sun. Painfully bright and visible now. In your eye.

Is an 800 meter race. It’s two dreadful laps.

A long journey that is hard to begin and even harder to finish.

It’s fun towards the middle when you aren’t tired yet.

Applications are the drive phase. You know you need to take off to start your journey ahead of the pack.

Seemingly small however heavy in importance. They are frightening and stressful and they put a lot of pressure on you.

Getting accepted/rejected is the maintaining of pace. 

You know that these colleges will determine your future.. They will help you keep up your momentum in the race.

The college experience as a whole can be described as the few moments of bliss. 

It’s the middle of the 800 meter race. You are comfortable at your pace (found yourself). You start catching up to other people (making new friends). You are starting to get tired (collegework).

The 800 meter ends and you are left with severe cottonmouth.

This can only be described as graduating college. Leaving many friends behind. Starting a new life. Making use of your degree and ultimately becoming an independent adult.

College is now and I’m ready to run the 800 looking right into the sun, holding the hand of the monster under my bed.

College is NOT right around the corner

It’s not happening for a while I’m in elementary school

All I have to worry about is what I'm going to do during recess.

I am gifted and excelled in reading. I will definitely get into a good college.

It’s not happening for a while I’m in middle school

All I have to worry about is who I’m sitting with at lunch.

Grades are becoming important. I am doing great in honors. I will definitely get into a good college.

It’s not happening for a while I’m a freshman

All I have to worry about is grades and trying to find my classes.

I was great at reading in elementary. I’m ready to do great in honors again. I will definitely get into a good college.

It’s not happening for a while I'm a junior.. one more year

All I have to worry about is AP exams and grades and track.

I was great at honors. I am motivated and driven. I will get 5’s on my exams. I will definitely get into a good college.

It’s happening

As I’m applying for colleges I feel like I am still in elementary school and it’s not happening for a while. 

I’m not even 18 yet I'm compiling all my life experiences into an online form that will determine my acceptance into college.

Somewhere out there a stranger I've never met will look over what I've sent them and decide.

My fate relies on my way with words and scores to show who I am.

To show if I'm worthy enough to pay for an education I need to make a living. 

Walking hand in hand with elementary school me I look down at her.

“It’s happening right now. It’s right around the corner. I’m scared. I’m not ready yet. I need one more year.

I feel a tight squeeze on my hand. 

Little me looks up at me.

“You have prepared for this whether you knew it or not. You are ready.” 

“I will be right here.” 

Little me taps her brain.

I blink and she’s gone.