Pre-college life kind of sucks

Applying to scholarships, trying to get a thousand bucks

ACT/SAT is never fun

What if my ACT comes out as a 31?

I mean, I need that 32 for money to Wheaton!

Anyway, I've got all these scabs on my shin,

and that's not going to look nice for senior photos.

Oh, sometimes this SAT studying gives me emotional lows.

But at least all this work will pay off in the end,

and hopefully I'll be able to attend

Wheaton, get a job, get married, have a child

And when his college planning gets wild

I can tell him, "Hey, buddy, it will be okay

Just keep at it, success will come some day."