struggle
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How can you not see my waste,
Iove curdled and spoiled must sour your sight.
You can see your waste - frustration palpable when I am the reason
Costs unpaid, papers unsigned, an estrangement unfinished.
If you stand strongly with and for Liberty
I will fearlessly join you
If you stand firmly for Freedom
Never in my life have I felt so cold
Colder than any snowy morn.
And when I think of blue, blue skies.
My thoughts wander to the darkest nights.
I could watch the stars emit their lights,
All those years, watching the sunrise,
All those days trying to fit in.
All those times, I’ve been truly waiting for this love to begin.
All those years, I’m sobbing like a river.
What can fill my empty heart?
What can make the flowers bloom once more?
When the birds have stopped singing,
There is no music everywhere I go.
My journey has become endless,
And my wings have been broken.
I love you so dearly,
I love you with all my might.
I love you in the daytime,
And I love you during the night.
I love the spark in your eyes,
And your random thoughts.
I love the curve of your lips,
Winter nights began,
As winter sonata plays.
Candle lights in my room
Just to warm the passing days.
My eyes were set on the fireplace,
And the blazing logs turn to coals.
Dark, gloomy, and sad
My heart cried out in panic,
When you leave without adieu.
I waited in silence,
With misty eyes fixed on you.
I asked my heart why it raced,
And it groped for a sane response.
A glimpse of the universe
From the light of your eyes
Like the flickering stars
Beaming through the night.
But I know for certain
That things could fade away
Like the moon’s splendor
The words my mind can say in silence
My poor heart can’t hide.
Misery faded as I gazed into your eyes.
Should I stay close as a friend,
And drown myself in grief?
Or should I tell you lies,
Tossed by the waves like pebbles in the sea,
Swirled by the winds like a leaf from a tree.
Carried everywhere, but never somewhere,
Can you please tell me where I should be?
I always remember the blithe in your laughter-Like the spring, the rush of waters.Oh what a moment we sharedRunning wildly, watching seagulls in the air.I always remember the serenity of your voice,
Papa Noël was afraid to pass through on Christmas Day
In the streets of Port-au-Prince. Bullets were being fired in droves
Sporadically, haphazardly. Many people were hiding under beds
I've got to
Search it
Pick through ads for it
Refine my search
Select it
Download it
I loved her, sincerely
but i loved her enough to know i was'nt ready completely,
I whispered in her ears words of affirmation promising her safety.
believe me i meant it, but maybe it was just my fragile heart speaking.
My spirits rise and fall.
My mind swarms with demons,
and my hope was once dim,
But through storms, I stand tall.
I have found people to believe in,
and I smile when I think of them.
I am a writer, and I put my hands to writing.
I train my hands in the ways of warriors.
When enemies come looking for a fight,
I give them a war.
I train my hands in the ways of farmers.
I am a writer, and I put my hands to writing.
I train my hands in the ways of warriors.
When enemies come looking for a fight,
I give them a war.
I train my hands in the ways of farmers.
Peace never washes over me,
Not even with fresh rain,
It's always a lifetime worth of pain,
The mask I wear draws attention just like the stars,
I'd wear anything to hide my scars,
When the brutal battle of bards begins
and my metaphorical sword is set
may the verse overflow like molten steel,
may it rouse Romeo and Juliet.
When my guard goes down at the close of day
Even a tree
must struggle to survive,
tossed and torn
in the wind and rain,
yet it grows stronger
and begins to thrive,
becoming greener
for all its pain.
Susan J.
My life hasn't always went well
So I can't waste time wishing it would change
I need to stay high anad not get down when i fail
Cause what is life without the L
I was just playing a board game with my parents
My depression hit me again
but worse
What am I gonna do?
I feel so guilty for not being happy,
but it feels like I'm falling.
Confusion
Why?
What?
How?
Difficulties that produce nothing but wasted time and frustration.
Does it take me standing
On the edge ready to end
The fight within my soul,
To find the strength to let go,
And embrace the unknown,
To finally feel the peace,
That has eluded me for so long?
Before I'm gone, tell them that I was just a girl who was trying to get through everyday.
That I never really cared for makeup, or how short a skirt could be.
I wrote this poem because i heard you're leaving
i know it's true but i hope that i am dreaming,
so i am asking you one more time please dont leave me.
When I see wasted food, I’m reminded of the poor who cannot make do.
As people blow their money, I think of those who live humbly.
During winter when it snows, I’m sad for those with little clothes.
She wanted you,
but she needed something else
not for herself though
so she did what she knew best
she let her wishes go
she choose the need
and she did get it
she should be happier-a bit
have you ever whispered
affirmations to yourself in the
waning hours of night
knowing in your heart
you are dying?
you learn to
semi-conciously compact
and contort the agony
I look at the scars on my hands, reminiscing on the time we shared together.
I have forgotten what touch feels like, blisters and burns now blanket where the wax has fallen.
In the dawn’s hazy light, I see them,The weary souls trudging forth,Faces etched with half-slept weariness,Their spirits longing for escape. In this bustling cityscape,They gather at public transport stops,A sea of bodies, disenchanted,Each lost i
When you return home after many years,stepping onto familiar soil,your heart stirs with bittersweet anticipation.The sun-tinted house that once witnessed your dreamsnow stands a stranger, with cold eyes afar,overgrown vines clinging to its weather
I planted a tree on top of the world.
Shading in everything that seems broken and torn.
But no amount of light I feed it.
It seems to only thrive when I've been cryin.
I cut my wristLook at my bloody fistReally wishing I didn't exist
Putting the gun to my headTaking the knife to my wristTears fall on the floorNow I'm clinching my fist
I hate how glamorized being transgender is in the media.
It’s not all sunshine, and rainbows, and butterflies.
Well, it is rainbows, but that's not the point.
The Front
By Caroline Bradbury
Present one thing
But make up something else
Sit up to drink and dissolve
But then I slouch
I'm only fronting
Amidst the chaos and the strife,When the world seems dark as night,And loneliness consumes your soul,And hopelessness takes its toll, Remember that within your heart,There lies a spark that will not depart,A flame that burns with steady light,And
When trust is broken, hearts are shattered
The bond of love, now torn and tattered
Deception, lies, and hidden schemes
All turning love into shattered dreams
Poetry lives in my very soul
poetry fills my spirit to the brim
i let the expression of myself flow
i am a mortal but i hope
my words they flow forever
i look for the good in life
i watch the poets write ther tunes
their voices heard
i want to write a poem thats good
but i am a faliure
im no good at anything
i cant make my poems flow
people say my poetry sucks
i watch the poets write ther tunes
their voices heard
i want to write a poem thats good
but i am a faliure
im no good at anything
i cant make my poems flow
people say my poetry sucks
In the USA, Black History month is celebrated
In February, the month with the shortest days
I’d always been told my skin was soft.
My lips were perfect and plump.
I had perfect posture.
I walked like I was on a runway.
Sotto il ponte a Del Rio sono fermi, bloccati, appostati, accerchiati
Ammucchiati migliaia di migranti Haitiani, non Ucraini
I never thought
I'd understand, fully
The pain that accompanies the memory
The stab in the back as my thoughts force me to recall
All of the things they've said to me
Sous le pont De Del Rio sont arrêtés, coincés, entassés
Amassés des milliers d'Haïtiens migrants, pas d'Ukrainiens
Sob a ponte Del Rio eles estão parados, presos, estacionados
Milhares de imigrantes Haitianos, não Ucranianos
Francamente, se fossem os últimos, não seriam penalizados
Bajo el puente Del Río están parados, atascados, estacionados
Miles de inmigrantes Haitianos, no Ucranianos
Francamente, si fueran estos últimos, no serían sancionados
Sometimes I’m fine.
Sometimes I’m just a little tired. You know?
I know you get what I mean.
These work weeks add up quickly and another year flies by as if my time committed treason, and as soon as I say hi I say by to every weekend, am I evolving or dissolving, if a digital check is my only reason, I know bills run on cycles and holiday
Green eyes jewel feels like I can cry
Brown hair veils, make me want to fly
Hey Nasa Girl, let's go to space
Touch the moon, and so your face
I made friends with the moon, he's always there for me.
The stars are my sisters, the planets are my brothers, the sun is my sworn enemy.
The crickets chirp loudly, the lightning bugs shine proudly,
Fields of white flowers,
too many to count
When the weather is dry,
the flowers die out
Water covers their leaves,
in a blanket they drown
water that seeps in,
They are far from safe
My father was young
My mother, younger
They had a song they sung
Forever in love for sure
That’s what they thought
I was given a hand
And a new card deck
It is a chance
And i can only check
A time to read
And finally understand
A lot of people around but no one to understand.
Feels like on a sea-shore a neglected grain of sand.
Just like a boring book, no one wants to read.
No one to cheer me up no matter how much I succeed.
The path of darkness,
does not taunt all.
For the patient and hopeful,
will never fail nor fall.
It's the people with hope,
Encore des larmes aux yeux pour notre brave Haïti
Encore des larmes aux yeux pour notre incroyable Pays
Be not afraidTo fight the right fightsThe hate, the hatredTo regain your rightsTo end bigotry, racismFascism and nepotism.
You made me feel gross
You think I don't remember
But what you don't know
Is that I will live with this pain forever
On my body I make cuts
Cuts to carve away at parts that feel
I have never really been a person to really enjoy when it was Spring,
Because I never really sat back and thought about all of the changes and the beauty that it can bring.
Gulping down salt water.Blood filling my lungs.I reach to touch the surface,I reach to the above.Unable to break the water’s surface pressure.It’s just above my fingertips,Salvation is out of reach.The sunlight’s fractured reflections, Are blaring
It's funny how the brain works,
Suddenly reminding me of the abuse I unconsciously tried to forget.
Leaving me alone with the feelings of guilt and regret.
Blade rusted with blood.
An opening to let this out.
The pain is numbed
But only for now.
The few seconds of relief.
Proof of my pain
Reflecting the inside- out.
She keeps me tossing and turning at night
As he forces me to wake up at first light
She believes in love at first sight
And he strengthens the grip on her kite
Where do I begin?
The end?
Well I guess I could start from the actual beginning.
Which one?
There are so many.
Fluid swims around me in a clear motion.Circling as it blurs my vision.Chilling my bones to their hallow marrow,I float in this thick choking fluid.
"It all starts and ends with just one Friend,
The One who takes you there and back...
Again and again...over and over...now,
Forever more,
Always will be there at the door"
My first word was “tick tock”
My favorite blanket had clocks on it
I am and was and always will be obsessed with clocks
And with the idea of time
That is what the human race has become,
A mirage of too many a face,
With
Broken down dreams
And
Craved fantasies.
Sky.
Not like the ones we used to stare at so blue that it looks too fake to be real. Grey skies
When I was 13 I remember looking up at the sky looking for a reason to believe that life wasn't an endless voyage of struggle for me and my siblings.
Self-imprisonment
Is the worst form
Of punishment
Still, it is not out of the norm
Can't get motivated been doing less and less. Does that mean I'm Depressed I guess. Trouble getting out of bed today. There's gotta be a way to convince myself that everything will be OK.
Losing a friend isnt instant,
The memories linger,
And the what if's become unbearable.
The guilt sets in at sunrise,
And the grief chokes you at sunset.
You dont just lose them and go on
Losing a friend isnt instant,
The memories linger,
And the what if's become unbearable.
The guilt sets in at sunrise,
And the grief chokes you at sunset.
You dont just lose them and go on
it felt like screaming until your throat went raw,
fighting for your breath under an 80-pound weight,
or purposely breaking your own bones.
that, my dear, is what love felt like before you
Each tear touches an ocean -
A void of countless fears.
Sends a ripple through the shadows,
Unstilling long, past years.
Writing this poem
So I can finally tell you how I feel
Sorry that sometimes you don't want to deal
With all my trauma and emotions
What I gotta do take a whole bottle just for you
To realize I'm hurtin
Some of us are stuck in the past
Positive it's not going to last
Some of us don't want to spread our wings and fly
Some of us don't know how to say goodbye
Some of us think we have few chances
Remember those days, you was lost in yourself
That leather belt, you better run and get some help
Every push is a rapid, every move is a step
It's overtime and you really overslept
♡
Bon appétit to all my fellow Haitians and friends,Who will be drinking, sipping, savoring soup joumou,Which is made of squash, neck bones, macaroni, oxtails,Carrots, yams, celery, parsley, and countless vegetables.
Bon appetit a tout Ayisyen zanmim yo,Moun ki pral bwè, manje, deguste bon soup joumou,Ke nou fè ak joumou, kou koden, makawoni, ke bef,Kawòt, yanm, seleri, pèsi, ak lot bon legim.
BETRAYAL POEM . 🗣
have you ever thought to yourself that you and a specific person might last forever.
but then all of a sudden you see a shift of change in their behavior, however.
Ayiti, Ayiti, Ayiti, peyi dè Mati
Ayiti, Ayiti, Peyi Gran Esklav
Ayiti, Ayiti, Peyi Nèg Brav
Yon Oazi ke zòt vle trayi.
i read between the lines on her wrists
and uncovered a story worth writing
i saw the first tear, caught the second and stopped the third from dropping
her red-rimmed eyes
held a suprise
a well kept secret;
Life.
It’s a weird word really.
Not the sound that it makes but the experiences of it are just…
I hate it.
It’s weird how just when it gives you something great,
Things will go wrong
Climbing uphill is hard
When I try and smile, all I do is sigh
Rest is a must, but don't give up
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
“I'm a failure”
Things will go wrong
Climbing uphill is hard
When I try and smile, all I do is sigh
Rest is a must, but don't give up
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
“I'm a failure”
Today I am a sad poem
Not because of any man
Or any woman either
Not because there is nothing to be happy about
And I have much to be thankful for
I am a sad poem because I’m sad
I wanna sleep but I am not tired
I am tired but I can't sleep
I am tired so I have to sleep
Why can't I ever sleep
I close my eyes
I see pictures
I hear my thoughts
I feel feelings
should i change who i am
to please others
or should i stay the same
should i pretend to be straight
to please my parents
or should i not
should i hide my flaws
or should i show them with pride
im slowly dying
dying because of stress
becuse of the empty feeling inside
don't know what to to
not sure if i should keep living
not sure if i should die
crying out for help in vain
I waited for you in the hallway
But I did not hear your voice
I waited for your call in the night
But my phone did not stir
I waited for your love
But it would never be mine
In the past I felt like I had nothing left to fight for. It wasn’t enough. I held on to the numbing‘s and told myself you can stop when you find that one thing that will call you back to reality like before.
I always forget the keys
Do you remember the picture
We took on beach,
Relics of sensual nights
Elegance of summer days
All is there in my drawer
But, I have lost the keys
If l were a poet
My art would be to craft
To summon words Uncommon
To dump in a lump
The deepest emotions to the crest.
In the event of my death,I hope they know I tried.Day inDay outWaking up and trying againTo live a lifeThat was going to end...in tragedy.
I have fought with great feebleness for twenty-one days
Confusion, suspicion, suffocation, anxiety all were there
I did not see the sky for five hundred and four hours in a row
It's happening again,I'm fallingDown into a deep endless void,At least, I think it's endlessMaybe it's not.Maybe eventually I'll reach the bottom.The bottom of this deep empty pit in which I'm falling.
remember when you are feeling lost,
and you feel like there is nowhere left to turn,
when you whisper,
and your echo rings back to you,
you will feel my love for you.
feel my skin, feel my touch,
Something underneath my skin
Tearing at my walls from inside, within
Testing all my patience, and trying my might
With tooth and claw and a sharpened bite
A dark eyed shadow hiding near
Dear Depression,
I don't like you near me. I wish you would go away.
You suck up all my hapiness, and make me feel like shit.
I wish you would leave me alone and let me enjoy my life.
“I’m coming for you!”
A little girls says,
As laughter and joy
Fills the room.
A child
And a mother
Playing hide and seek
What’s happening to you?
Are you afraid to fall?
Will you be able to stand up again?
You know very well you won’t
So better not try….
There is a hunger in the wind
it toys with my longing for hope
zipped up inside, tugging at my heart rope
There she lifts
my dreams caught on a line
ready for takeoff
you say get over it but how
you say get out of your room how
you say think happy thoughts how
we need help
no one helps us
why
we are the broken ones
the ones no one wants
Hope
By Michelle Barrera
Hope is the one thing everyone holds out for,
But the one thing that is so rare.
Hope requires courage,
When you find yourself stuck
Drowning in the depth of it all
Clinging to the light above you
And praying for help.... any help
That’s when they say the familiar phrase
Dark thoughts,
Love not seen,
I just needed to know I was loved.
Deep reflections,
Like the sea I’m terrified of.
You are the sand,
These Rainy Nights
Droplets of sorrow and pain
All of it hurts it, hurts down to the vein
These Droplets of memories and the past
All thoes memories I burned turned into ash
Depression isn't just one word or one action or one feeling
Depression is made up of many experiences of disappointment, hate, failure, and confusion
Depression has been made to be a vast topic over the past generations of people
Bridges burned,
Ties cut,
All by one's own hand.
Time wasted,
Backs turned,
Hourglass low on sand.
Youth gone,
Wisdom naught,
Shame a painful brand.
Im tired
Hi tired, I’m lonely
Tired, are you my one and only?
By the way you overwhelm me with emotion
Fill my head with commotion
He keeps dragging me down,
to where a cry for help doesn't make a sound.
He has taken my mind,
it is so far gone I’ll never be able to find.
The peace I was searching for,
Three in the morn
That's when the ideas form
When the gibbering par
Monsters with eyes cinnabar
takes over what's left of
sanity, rationality and tranquility
What remains of you
is nothing more than
Closing my eyes I see the hands pulling me up turning into the ones pushing me down
Voices taunting me used to be the ones rejoicing me
Though it’s not the words but the mouth they tumble out of crushes my soul
I saw her dance yesterday. To a doo wop style song sung by a child like her. She jumped and stomped and did her best impression of a ballerina.
There is just so much
That one person can take.
I am so sorry.
i've been losing in a lot of ways
but by the days
it's proven
the things and people i keep putting energy into
life tells me i'm not meant to
but i didn't want to lose this much
we fell in love together,
and promised forever.
but neither you stayed,
nor i attempted to stay.
Her soul is new, a few seconds born. Her heart is full, until it’s torn.
Beneath a bridge a day old, Her mother leaves, as she’s later told.
Though half of Her heart left too, a year passes and she’s been renewed.
she smiles and laughs a little,
And writes down her favorite songs,
Like nothing is wrong,
But when she gets home,
Is when she becomes alone,
She locks herself in her room,
Encouraging her doom,
“You’re beautiful;
Even if you don’t know it”
As if the body I look at in the mirror is suitable,
Yet the heart weighs down the spirit.
The lines on my thighs,
I’m already a misfit out of place
The one you just can’t seem to embrace
Not because I’m bad or because I’m good
I can’t be pegged in the way you think I should
Those who do not understand will judge
Those who judge seem far
Those in the distance appear lost
The lost seek truth
The truth is there
In the circle of time
We find our truth
This makes no sense
I cry myself to sleep at every nightJust wishing it would stop.Maybe tomorrow it will teminated.Then again, maybe not.
So called decisionOr is it masked as speculationRoll that dice settle upon At the mercy of a single reactionYou opposing youOn the other side of the coinIt’s brainwork against upshotSome say wisdom others sayA stroke of luckBut I rest assured It’s
Screaming my lungs out
Tearing at my hair
Eyes streaming with tears
I claw at whatever I
Can reach and toss things
Around the whole room
My face turns red and
My eyes are wet and bloodshot
Hold on, it will change;
The truth that needs lies as cure for the pains.
Go on, it will pass;
Weather and scars are the demands of the paths.
Silence...
All I hear silence around me,
My brain is shouting at me to get moving,
To get started in this responsibility of adulthood,
Yet, I do nothing.
I stare at my empty white ceiling,
Sitting With You #4 She is often forgotten.Left to struggle on her own.Her cries are silent.Tears are endless.If only you could hear her.If only you could feel her.She's kind and gentle.Like a little child.She fights her way through each day.Stand
Where are all your obsessions
Where are all you savage captions
Why do it seem you give me a forced happy impression
Why do talk only about your sad imagination
Is this all DEPRESSION?
The Misery Song
Lies hidden through crooked smiles,
There’s nothing in this world as vile.
Empty and dark
The switch is on
But no light seems to come thourgh my cracks
Can't fine the plug to bring it back
I so want to say 'oh well, so long.'
Don't know how to feel
Got this confusing and overwhelming zeal
I don't like it, not one bit
All I know is: happy- it is not what I'm getting
I feel empt inside
I wish I knew why
Everything for a while seeme fine
Still, I feel empty inside
A chore just to breathe
Dear Faith,
I know, I get just how hard it gets
And all your struggles towards normalcy
I know, I get that it doesn't feel all that great
I hate how I'm no one's best friend
No one's first pick
I try so hard, maybe that's it
Still...
I hate how I'm gay
Depressed
Never be afraid to be who you are.
You are beautiful,
And you are so smart.
You are brave and true,
And you are unbreakable.
Never question your self-worth.
Whoever says different
If you live today pray for tomorrow don't live your life drowning in sorrow and doubt keep your head up the wolves are out and about waiting for prey I know you they couldn't take you down know matter how hard they try you are currently on land go
I'm gasping for air.
My lungs burn and my body is weak.
Why can't I see anything? I try to breathe but my lungs don't fill with the air that they are so desperate for.
I feel someone,holding me,
every time I hit rock bottom
there is a new rock bottom that awaits me
its darker there
and full of more self-hatred
A year ago today
I was picking up a razor in the school hallway
Telling myself I would just chuck it
While knowing I would not.
In the beginning of last December
Bending trees
Green grass
I see these things but don't take into account
how much they mean
to me
I make my way back home
and see nothing but tears
they are mine.
I have less time left i guess to enjoy this beautiful life but i want to say a hundred sorry's to you. M Yasir
I wanna fill up the sky with the stars
i wanna live up in the stars with you
M Yasir.
If I told you about my darknesswouldyou understand?
Or, would your inability to understand give you cause to reprimand?
Would you treat me differently if I told you how I really feel?
always on the vergeof rot and worms and sanitizing my hands with rainwaterhiding under tree trunks and the weightof a trillion apologiesi'm feral, foaming at the mouthdesperate pleas and the formaldehyde
It’s True Like Ra’ Said...
You NEED To... " KNOW THE LEDGE "... !!!
Because A Lot of Heads...
Push To The EDGE To Be The BEST... !!!
“We Will Survive” When we were born, we live in peace,And your life will be at ease.No problem to think aboutIn this world full of doubt,We can do nothing but ending our livesFrom all the problems we strives. In this world full of
Time comes,
when tomorrow starts without me
and I will not there to see
what the world could bring for me
Perhaps, I will never see again
the smiles that keeps showing on your face
if i seem sad,
or if i my smile seems forced
don't worry
it's just my facade slipping
give it a minute and i'll be "me" again.
(j.a.s.s)
My head is void of thoughts
My soul is null of feelings
My mind is devoid of words and phrases
My paper remains unstained for days,
Itching and begging for ink to pour.
The pen is dry of ink,
20k (Hello Pain 2)
Dear God,
Yeah, it's your boy again
Woke up so alive
I'm just checking in again.
I know you love me
You know that drives me insane
To see your majesty
We grew impatient for the sunrise of a summer' day,
Waited till the waves swallowed our future fears.
As the rum and coke swirled our problems away
While we got off the train of prudent years.
When the sun rises
don't look for me.
I've done something awful
and I don't want you to see.
When the sun rises
don't turn on the news.
I'm afraid that's how
they'll try to tell you.
آج ایسے ہی اُس کی ہادوں کا انبار لگائے بیٹھی ہوں
میں پاگل ناداں اُس کے انتظار میں بیٹھی ہوں
میں اُس کے لیے دل چھوڑ بیٹھی ہوں
لب اپنے سیے بیٹھی ہوں
محبت کے سبھی دعوے داروں کو رد کیے بیٹھی ہوں
آج ایسے ہی اُس کی ہادوں کا انبار لگائے بیٹھی ہوں
میں پاگل ناداں اُس کے انتظار میں بیٹھی ہوں
میں اُس کے لیے دل چھوڑ بیٹھی ہوں
لب اپنے سیے بیٹھی ہوں
محبت کے سبھی دعوے داروں کو رد کیے بیٹھی ہوں
The wind will tell the story
Of my disappearance..
Of our sweet memories
You will remember me
Will you be able to smile then?
Beauty resides everywhere on our Mother Earth
Beauty comes in all different shapes and forms
Beauty is pain, beauty is success, beauty is even in the struggle
my body trembles as thoughts
race thoughout my head.
suddenly my mind freezes,
empty, like a child's soul left alone
on a windy night. my vision
suddenly begins to fade
I worry for tomorrow, will there be another day?
I try to stay strong, but the pain won't go away.
We're consumed by this anguish, trapped in solitude.
Refreshing lemon tea,
Floating peninsula-like ice cubes,
Melting in the hot air of fire ball,
Bimodal surge of chest,
Glowing dazzling white light,
The upper lady's sapphire brooch,
We are the outcast,we are the broken
the ones who you cast a single judging glance at
but the truth is if you had to experience the same things they do
you would not survive
They call you names,
It's all in they're game.
And though they give you shame,
Bullies are not strong.
They push you out,
You try to shout.
And though they don't show dout,
I was waiting for dawn’s stately tresses at the intersection,
For I hail from another time, trapped in its steady undulation
And oh was I waiting!
The black clouds are rolling in
The lightning cracks like a whip
As the thunder roars with the pride of a lion
The sky's blue slate is wiped clean by the darkest grays
And shadows begin to cover the streets
Hey, that's me!
The one that stares at you blankly,
the one that doesn't care how you feel,
I'm like a mirror, I give what I see.
Epitaph
You called him a life measured in memories
A beloved father, brother, husband, and friend
But after his passing he’s sure to be forgotten
- They say,
"In due time you'll be alright", "just stay patient".
So Heavenly Father I'm reaching out - This life's got me pacin'.
Not knowing which way to go, with either road - I never make it.
I drift away into the screams
They fade to white noise
I hear only the voices in my head
Help
Where did they all go
the world will lift you up and pull you down,
they will not except you as you are,
living in clouds of dreams and that´s all alright for me,
no other place I would rather be,
Fear comes with the territory
Hate to break it to ya
Vulnerability comes with the territory
If you haven’t realized
Awkwardness comes with the territory
The shaking from head to toes,
the drug demeaning, the depth of the hollow bones.
It keeps you staring into oblivion,
At times real life dilemmas can make it so hard to cope. In times of peril even a true believer can lose all hope. I can't sleep for 35 years I been having the same dreams. That means for 35 years I've been hearing the same screams.
They say, you can't live without it,
You can not see it,
You can feel it,
It is in the rising of the sun,
It is in the painting os the sky with stars,
It is in you, it is in me,
You don’t know
You don’t know what’s struggle
You’re in your own world, your own bubble
You wake up at 7 on a king size heaven
crying out,
reaching out,
what is trying about,
holding in doubt,
the pain begins to rain out,
and the one and only frienemy starts to talk,
her words like chalk,
My life is a misery,
All because I grew up with you,
In every season of life,
There's a reason why I still love,
long have i sought for peace but the very little I've found, I'll hold on to it before he finds me and make me whole again.
I'm not handsome
I'm not intelligent
At times I can be clumsy
And at times I can be messy
I'm not good at sports
Nor am I good at singing
And I'm positive there are boys better than me
My child,
The little comely baby that never stopped growing in me,
Can you endure the life of the other word?
Can you be patient enough to grow old?
My child, my hope,
"social distancing"
No more dog walks at the park
Drive-thru or take-out
Grocery shopping
More time spent with family
Increased TV time
Wash your hands, use the soap
Stay at home, try to cope
Self-isolate, don’t foster hate
Forgive those who hoard the toilet rolls
We are all nothing more than ravaged souls.
There is so much speculation -on- where our future is heading, I really dont give a fuck! Those who want to control-control. Everyone wants to just be left the fuck alone. Eat a good meal, have a good night & die relaxed.
I went to the spot where she first said she loved me.
There a man smoked.A couple loudly arguing.Somehow, I still felt the same.
You say
I can be fixed.
Like I'm an
Object,
Or a
Problem
That can't stay the way it is.
You say
I can be fixed.
Like a
Broken bone
Or a
I am sorry that they never appreciated all the gifts you bring to the world. I am sorry that they corrupted your innocence, like crumpling a brilliant white sheet of paper. I am sorry that they made you so bitter that sometimes even the sweetest p
i see you. alone, afraid, desperate, searching for something to make you feel whole. i am you. we are one in the same. your pain is mine. that feeling of falling, completely alone, downward towards - who knows where? - is ours and ours alone.
Some mornings I dont think about it at all when I wake up.However that doesn't mean it doesn't hit when I walk to the bathroom to get ready.
A tepid taste of gIN, and then, a mathematical equation to send these Merry men into methodical battle yet again. Up all of the live-long night and lividly permitted to squint the life from wired, alcohol-felled eyes.
I caved and seen a counselor today. I impatiently waited in the office, picking at my skin, filling out monotonous paperwork, checking the yeses and the noes, and more anxious waiting.
Everyone has their own walk with grief.
Some package it up and store it away for a rainy day when they can be alone and let it overtake them.
sometimes i don’t really know if there’s anyone there
downcast, empty, broken
i wait for someone
someone who may or may not come for me
alone i wait
If I could draw you a picture of my anxiety, it would be a beautiful 12 year old depiction of a one dimension box on white printer paper. Not a masterpiece, but made of carefully drawn with a ruler straight lines.
My mom says we have to leave our home to a new special places for Jews like us. I don't really understand what she means. We only get to bring a few things but strange men are yelling at us to hurry up. I decide to bring my giraffe.
Hair ties and skirts all around
All but sisters I see
No guy to play with or share a sound
No brother or cousin...none for me
Born and raised with my family I was,
Not I but God can save me now,
No matter how much one strugggles to tend to one's tree, some will just not bear fruit.
But the ones that do will be the sweetest of all of them.
Inspiration
It's everywhere
It is differently identifiable to everyone
To me
It's through music
Music gives me the opportunity to display how I feel without saying a word
All I have to do is be
Inspiration
It's everywhere
It is differently identifiable to everyone
To me
It's through music
Music gives me the opportunity to display how I feel without saying a word
All I have to do is be
A cacophony is a multitude of sounds,
Sounds that echo through your head, pound in your heart, and block the world out,
A cacophony,
I can swallow
I can swallow two pills
At the same time
And it gives me a thrill
Mixing my meds
I find it addictive
I cling to the underbelly
of society's fringe
clinging like a baby possum
at its mama's
soft fur.
And I'm floundering
among El Chuco's
citizenry
clutching at crumbs
sifting through dregs
As I sat in the cold, colorless room,
Tears spilling from my eyes, I think:
'Nobody needs me' and 'Nobody cares'
My friends, they concern themselves with themselves
Hey mom, its just me, its Mr.B, the runt of the litter of 3, yeah its your family!
I’ve fallen from a place of grace
Feeling the world moving at a slow pace
There’s no way I can be this miserable in a span of moments
Remember the days
When I was 3
And we’d spend all day
Playing hide and seek
And you’d always find me
Where the daisies grew
You’ve come so far
A bit on the low side
A tad on the slow ride
Can't really put forth my feelings
They exist on spectrums beyond me and my frail emotions
Hey,
I guess it's been a little while.
This house of ours has gotten a little bit messy. I understand. It's partly
my fault,
Do better, I need to do better.
There is always a struggle, to get what I need.
Sign up for scholarships so you don't have to pay for college.
I still need to do better.
Do better, I need to do better.
There is always a struggle, to get what I need.
Sign up for scholarships so you don't have to pay for college.
I still need to do better.
You are stress because you are Seeking freedom. Freedom from fear. Freedom for self fights.
You are stress because you are Trusting the process. Trusting the processes that will lead to success.
Quietus thoughts
I’ve passed three score and ten;many years I’ve harbouredthoughts of death.
Love is a drug.
It’s addicting, it's like ecstasy, morphine, dopamine, and alcohol. Once you get your first taste, you never want to stop. This makes love a dangerous thing.
Looking around me and seeing people struggle
That is what inspires me
You have the drug addicts
The homeless
We have all come such long ways.
whether near to our dear, or far from home,
with each a story of our own
It may be patience, trust or love,
new chapters just to prove
No matter what stage,
problem,
question,
or wall
Thats in your life,
someone is always there
waiting.. if only
your willing to take that step
into that almost impossible concept,
I descend deeper in the dent you made in my heart
Slowly chipping away at me
What had been the shallow end
transformed into an extensive ocean
I knew I'd be here a while so I made myself comfortable
Watching reflections chased down walkways
As it’s cold and rainy on a day like today
When normally the mood would be ruined
But somehow - the reflection turns up the spirit
When in college, life gets really tough.
When in college, keeping up with relationships gets rough.
When in college, sometimes you feel like you aren't enough.
The monster lives inside me,He slithers through my veins,
He hisses his cruel thoughts,
and influences my own.
He wraps himself around my lungs,
Why do I write poetry
Why am I always so sad
I tried to write a happy poem once
My sister said it sounded like a goodbye
Wouldn't the police be prosecuted, if these laws were real; - Btp;
I am Black
which determines how I move.
I am a woman
which you should know too.
I am inspired by those
who came before me
Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth,
and Rosa P.
Just when you're drunk in that sleep, they swear you'll never be sober up on your feet. - Btp;
Life poses the question of death
A haunting omen of an eternal state
One where there is no escape
Tears of joy start to fade,
As the tears of sorrow overflow for the years I hid you away.
To be thankful means to be grateful for what you have and to give grace, so, what am I’m thankful for?Well I’m about to tell you.
Art is subjective
That's what they say
They say that what some people find ugly
Are seen as beautiful to someone else
My life
Full of twists and turns
Full of turns and twists
I remember one night
As we walked hand in hand
A rose secretly clutched in your sweaty palm
The wind frolicking through your locks
And mine swiftly gone upon the winds of love
Oh Sweet Jesus,
This one Literally tares me to pieces
w/ all the factitious reasons
Of faceitious believing.
And all for No Good Reason.
And There Reason Being,
They tried to Destroy what we believe in...
Can I have your attention please ?
Hi I’m depression
I hold your undivided focus
I alter your emotions
Im still searching for you,
In the city and crowd.
waiting to meet you,
And hear your sound.
I'm still finding you,
In my heart.
Because I don't wanna ,
Leave you apart .
smiling is hard
i'm empty inside
falling apart
cry out for help
it couldn't heal my heart
too quiet outside
no one sees the pain
she's just exaggerating
idle
I fell hard
I fell long
It seemed so never ending
It was so tiring and mind bending
A struggle like no other can understand
It eats at me
A constant feeling of wanting something else
An empty hollow deep inside that burnt out pit of desire
Buck teeth and bright eyes
I was eight years old,
I spent my days out on the playground
all alone in the cold
right by the fence where I would watch traffic behind the monkey bars
Stuck on a phone that’s stuck to me
Bombarded by images of what we should be
Being told who I should follow
Leaving me feeling empty and hollow
I just see, I listen, and I feel
Training our bodies to understand,What strength and honor embody and it’s so grand.
Until we are weak and fractured,And we realize that we’re all manufactured.
The savior was never the love from another but the heart of a mother.Maybe even a father, sister, and brother and from this a tiny temple had seeded and grew.Watered by the raindrops from those tiny pebbles that we once threw.
Be it light be it darkAll these matters in my heartTake apartThis little cart that has always failedTo turn and start.
I’m looking left and then it’s rightTill there’s nothing left in sight
A night with a shining moon
Surrounded by stars all around
When there was silence and everyone was sleeping
No noise or any kind of whispering
Suddenly a voice, I heard
I was astonished and totally feared
Looking for distractions
Hiding in my absence
Tired of my actions
Feeling my inactions
Scared of my emotions
Sinking in commotion
Looking for distractions
I'm an addict.
I'm addicted to this world.
I'm stuck in a self created rut that gets deeper every single day,
I sit in this chair with my head bowed, I can't control a single thing around me.
Tell me who are you in the dark? Are you the devil or the little spark
Tell me who are you when I'm alone? Are you the light or the huge storm
Trapped in the night
Can't see a sight
Far away from light
Strings around so tight
Every wrong not right
The fire ashes bite
Bruising it with a knife
healing it with a cut
Brushing it with a sigh
breaking it with silence
Silence I hear it
so deep it could stop it
I'm scared of letting go
I'm scared to be free
What if it's not like
like what I've dreamed
Pathetic naive
that's not the least
Come on get out
get out of me
I'm a prisoner in my own body
sweating every time you remind me
Anxiety
It held me hostage at my own party
took my hand just to throw it back at me
Anxiety
Breaking down behind hidden walls
secrets and lies every time I fall
letters and words that silencs stole
not knowing my worth every time I loose control
Love and hate I lost them both
I don’t understand
I can’t comprehend
How happiness and sadness go hand in hand
In my wildest dreams; when I am lost in thought
To walk with no shoes on thick cold ice,
It's the feeling of been stabbed over ten thousand times.
What were to happen if you were to slip through,
to see into into the abyss.
Who am I
You may wonder
But listen close to my remedy:
Take a deep breath
And let it all out
Scream and shout
Until your lungs collapse
Your pain does not control you
Somehow I’ve gotten lost
In the hollow body I inhabit
I never thought about the cost
Of such a deadly habit
But now I am trapped
In the hollowness I’ve built
Thoughts inside my head overlapped
How do I be kind to myself?
Should I stay and fight the fight?
Is it really worth the fight?
What shall I write tonight?
The tribulations of reason,
Wandering through skies,
Making hardly any sense,
In the heart of hearts,
I see you- there, here, and now.
The gun goes off
The sound of thunder rushing through my ears
Adrenaline running through my arms, hands then feet
Sour and sweet
i got a call two summers ago
that managed to strike my heart cold
no air in my lungs no faith in my soul
fear settled in me
a voice whispered guilty
angry and ashamed and stupid
i shut myself away
Heart never wants the right things
But the thought of wanting little never arises
Adding new face to same loneliness
Doesn’t really help to heal the old bruises
Have you ever been so scared that you looked deep into your past and saw the things which couldn’t last as reality slips your grasp.
I've run out of words to describe my mental state, I don't know if it's the staying up late or the way that I stare at the food on my plate. Maybe it's the people that just cannot relate to simple things.
I’m unsure of who I am,
I’m unsure of my identity.
I’m unsure of my sexuality,
I’m unsure of who I want to be.
I’m unsure if I even want to live,
I’m unsure of my religious beliefs.
when this heart has given up
then there is no more lust to achieve passionate desire
when this heart has ambitions
all that's left is surrender and sincerity
when this heart is covered with surrender
I know it's tiring
I know this hurts
I know this is boring
Waiting for something happiness that should be yours
Apparently it requires a struggle that isn't for a moment
Hello there...how are you?
Have you thinking about me?
Because I'm thinking about you
Hello.....can you hear me?
My heart trying to call you back but the voice become mute
Hello.....can you hear me?
The demon Frame in my deepest heart
Trying to leave the core of me
Want to cast a dark aura from me
Spreading the charm of my other self
The other me who is thirsty for lust
When I run in the dark night then see behind me
I haven't found trace of my own shadow
When fear came over me and I whispered to myself
'Am I dead?'
Thinly disguised misogyny
Thirteen-year old’s agony
A fallen angel
Born in the wrong cradle
Mistaken miracle.
Story of a girl
Naked soul and half-burn
“You aren’t fair,
Can we take a moment to just stop?
Just stop.
Stop and think.
Think about people.
The people in your life.
How your life is with those people in them.
How your life is without those people in them.
Insecure is my default! When the caffeine
has worn out,and my bravadohas been questioned...I tend to tuck tail and run
Leap like a frogWho knows he’s inCajun territory
There once was girl
Oh, so bright
Who used to smile each day
She’d smile in laughter
Smile in joy
And even smile when grey
For smiling was her safety blanket
A cover for the pain
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN OBSESSIVE
OVER SOMETHING I NEVER HAD LIKE A FAMILY
AND EVENTUALLY SOMEONE TO CALL MY DAD
NOT HAVING A MOTHER EITHER WAS HARD ENOUGH IT WAS SAD
When the dark nights glimmer with glitter
When the storm you detest, passed quicker
When the blood you shed, became the rose
When it's a claustrophobic path and wind blows
Sometimes I’m a sexually repressed nun who fell for someone outside the faith,
A guy carrying multiple, heavy bags of groceries for someone who won’t return the favor,
Rain, rain, rain.... Please stop causing me so much pain.
Because it's really driving me insane.
The daily grind has me so drain.
With every word that comes out of my mouth
There is a string attached at the end
With the word "regret"
With every word that passes through my mind
It longs to be brought out
love is only an emotion that can connect with your heart I feel that love can be a struggle because it's hard to find the right one love is not about meeting someone it's about caring about someone I feel that love can also be like dezen of roses
I am a beggar,
Lurking after your eyes
To raise up inked mites
Torn pages, our hovel
Rainbow of enlightment
Proliferates along fingers
Shy lips, Reluctant paras
Blabbering unkempt debts
Art can be a picture on your wall
Art can be a song with a Melody
Art is about express yourself
Art is passion that's talk's to you
Art is the drawing of nude of the body
Art is about telling a story
Ignorance grows like apples in an orchard.
They stare into the void,
Not realizing they are walking into it.
He makes the world eat out of his palm,
Drowning
in floods of assignments and papers and grades and
Sleepless nights
make me tear my hair out and blink too much and rub my eyes and
Cry
Why do you sit on your ass like you live in your head.
Why are you in your room by yourself.
Why can't you open your mouth.
Why are just sitting there like a mule.
His touch was little at first.
Barely holding onto my back.
With time his touch gripped on to my neck like a huge claw.
I was a slave to his world.
Do as he says, when he says, how he says.
I am from Starbucks and skinny girls in mansions.
I am from can I feel your hair and is it real ?
I know what I amI know I'm brown,I know I'm brave,I know that I have acne on face I know what I am I know I'm a women ,I know I'm thick ,And I know my positivity might make you sick I know what I amI know wasnt always t
Do you ever just wonder
just sit around and think
Do you ever just imagine
just let your mind free
Do you want to sit just aching
just absorbing your pain
Do you ever just feel hopeless
dear, anxiety
it’s so weird that you have a name now
I use to always think that’s just how humans lived on
Reality and I, we just don’t mix
It has never been easy for me to simply face it
I prefer to remain comfortable in my own fantasy world
The dark route
I had gotten out of that dammed alley way..
Finally
Freedom
I walk down for what seems forever, I hear the growling of crows, the cackling that lingers in the air
I'm not you,
For you chose the path of being everybodies stooge,
Everybody knew what you did but me,
And yet you still had the audacity to deny it when I can see,
I can see you for your true colors,
My peers.
My friends.
My family.
My thoughts.
They scream at me.
Why do you waste your time, girl?
Her bulky Asics angered the uneven pavement below her feet.
A crunch released with every step.
Two backpacks heavily rest on her aching shoulders.
She was not okay.
WE...are those girls with colored faces
Walked those Carroll halls with bleeding patience
With the facade of confidence and assimilation
Lured the eyes of boys who
I hate the rain.
It's cold and unforgiving fall keeps me from fun.
I hate the rain.
The weight of it when it falls from my eyes is to heavy for my heart to carry.
I hate the rain.
****Trigger Warning****
It’s like I want to tear my skin off.
I take a breath and hold it.
I can’t let it go.
The questions pop up like fireworks
Sparks flying out
I cover my face, evading them
while fire licks the dark sky
I push my hand over my ears
I don't want to see, to think
It hurts, my head straining
Depression is a black cloud
That hangs over my head
And follows me everywhere
I’ve tried to run
I’ve tried to self medicate
I’ve tried talking it out
I’ve tried crying till my tears dry up
Dear depression
I wake up
And I wake up more
To the sun that burns
With your name stuck in my throat
I feel things
And I feel things now
That not a soul could understand
Questioning
Why... why can't we reach for the sky? Why do we always lie? And why do we make an excuse just to strive? Is it because you have too much pride or you feel like your'e living a lie or you just wanna die? What is it?
As a newborn baby I was obnoxious and hard to deal
I was told, “Live life to the fullest & never give up”
But as 5 years went by, my parents were always spanking my rear
Six years ago, two little boys invaded my home and stole my heart right from my chest.
The little ginger haired devils appeared in my life out of nowhere and they took control.
A bloomed flower stuck in the ground ,no where to be found .
looking for hope , but no one is around .
she sees eyes with smiles.
But no one can see her smile .
In a dark room beautiful and bloomed
There’s was a time
When all I thought about was YOU
Bottled all my sadness and anger inside
Holding on to the old YOU
Told I’m ugly, told I’m worthless
Learning to read, to write, to speak,
I realized that school was just work every week,
It wasn't that hard, till after 6th,
I realized middle school was no longer a myth,
Not just one teacher, not there's 7,
Here I am, A “changed” person
But this change didn’t come overnight , alright
See, I used to be so gullible and sweet, with little to no teeth
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still sweet with a bit of heat
Fear becomes the barrier that keeps me in
No smoke to see,
and no life of sin
My life is as hard as can be,
but my fear keeps me in
The lady of the first sun,
Hesitates to let her first world down
That’s all she relies on
All her life she had dreamed of raising this world
Her people look up to her,
While she cares and provides her heat
To the man who says depression is fake and actually believes it. You know who you are. Hi, my name is Nate, we haven’t met or maybe we did. There’s so many of you screaming in my ears that I might not have heard you.
I became old when the honeycomb becomes too waxy to eat When the queen bee becomes a tyrant And you start to feel bad for the bees When I got tired of swimming through the land of milk and honey So I drowned But I couldn't afford the medical bill
What does it mean to be 'all grown up'? Have a car? Job? Apartment?
For me, being grown up meant self-advocacy.
Age 15, depression and anxiety was at it's highest.
No need to be a surgeon.
Open your heart wide.
Rip your pain away.
And if no soul can help carrying it,
Put it somewhere,
Anywhere,
But elsewhere.
Put it beneath rhymes and similes
DO YOU SEE ME SUFFER?
I’m not your damn toy
just stop trying to act tougher
I’m losing my mind over you boy
Do you see me calling out for help?
A storm, A wave, A serenade?
Premises to start an escapade
An understanding
Of the hard to wind music box
Of the artist’s pox
When I was a child I tried to live in a dome,
I couldn’t fathom the convoluted questions of life,
I placed myself inside a pretty pink bubble,
Where only happiness, peace, and butterflies live,
i use to think suicidal thoughts was so lame
until one day I wish I had a gun to my brain
or to be hanging from a chain
shit maybe drown like that game heavy rain
I was in a box with a window,
wathing the worlds go round.
Watching how good the world was to those who put in their share
to those who worked hard
to those who had patience.
The flower is cunning, strong and deep,But he has promises to keep,Until then he shall not sleep.He lies in bed with ducts that weep.
She said she can do it
but in reality she's loosing it.
though life is though,
she never did give up.
They say that madness is permanent
That it’s like signing a contract with the devil
There’s no way out.
Stars shine brightest in the darkest of times
and they were so glorious that night.
I heard the soft sweet song of the chimes.
The silver reflected the light.
I exist
In the subtle rhythms
The periphery of perception
In gentle sea breezes
And silky laughter
In the dance of falling leaves
And dreams I lust after.
I construct my reality
Then
he took the respect she had for Herself
and the wonders from the earth around Her
he took her her kindness
and what seemed, the air from Her lungs
he took Her curiousity
My life is an infinite number of scars,
Marring the planet upon which I walk.
It’s one after another,
They never seem to end.
Some were caused by others,
I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore
When my heart sped up
From the mistakes that I had made.
A moment in my life,
Where I realized
There was a price to be paid.
A price for every action
Between then,
and nowhere
in this distant harmony...
We poets,
are forgotten words.
Alive,
only in waiting,
Haunting and curious
Sinking down by ancient greetings...
I'm better than this
So why am I so sad
God help me
Take this pain away
I hate depression
I hate crying in my bed
At these late hours
Gettin no sleep
I'm on this path to success
Once, I thought I knew
What I should have said.
Once, I needed a break,
From all the thoughts in my head.
Once, I thought I could
Mirror Mirror, on the wall,
What's gone wrong with it all?
People crying, people screaming.
The world itself is teeming,
With war, pestilence, and death.
I hear the birds sing at my window,
shuffling and ruffling their delicate feathers
I too am delicate.
The fan is whirring by my
Allow this vigilant past eye to say thanks,
where it is due
Yes!
Gratitude is the best attitude
Nothing escapes this vigilant eye of the past,
To say thank you where it is due
I’ve never been good at starting a conversation. The idea of initiating a dialog used to seem as though it was easy . As if the books I read had all the answers, but what looks good on paper doesn’t always work once you look out into the world.
Too much on the mind but not enough to say
There's something magical about writing
And coughing on the foam of a latte
Too much to say but not enough to see
Listening to the people singing
At any given moment, I just might break
Fall to my knees, head in my hands kind of just might break
Fear in my eyes, regret on my mind kind of just might break
Why am I alive, how did I survive kind of just might break
beams of light
peaking from behind the clouds
reaching your face
warming you up
it's been cold for so long
you enjoy every gleam of light you get
you smile,
having the feeling
Robbed of a sweet childhood,
you stole my innocence.
I wanted to save you
and you punished me for loving you.
I wanted to take your pain away,
you wanted to intensify my heartache.
Reach the sky,
trust the sun
and crave its kindness.
Rely on the orchestra of rain
to quench your thirst.
Depend on the lavish ground
to stand tall.
When Winter dethrones warmth,
All my life I've guarded
my closest angels as they fell ill,
Cursing sickness with demonic persuasions
and washing down pills
with deadly compounds dressed in glass.
All my life I've watched
It struck me with the fury
of one thousand lightning bolts.
Although the cool ocean invited me,
instead I chose to hit the concrete.
I felt the light of my being go out.
My time has come,
my head just hums
I knew it was time
but only I knew it was mine
The stage was free,
it was just me
Fear controls me as I always lose,
I was hanging on by a thread,
Fear grasped on to me
I hyperventilated, thinking of it made me sweat.
I was never strong enough,
Bold enough,
Courageous enough,
To leave the cage I was bound to.
Fear! Fear! Fear! Fear!
I dance with it the most
Dreaming so deeply that nightmares can be imagined
Making aspirations turn into imaginary ghosts
there's a joy in the unkown in the things that people hope to dream
there's a joy in htings that people hold dear
there's a joy in what people believe
Detachment from sentiments
It's not easy I must confess
Pressures all around me everyday trying to compress
I'm getting really fed up no longer trying to impress
Manic has me acting crazy
Going nonstop
Getting things accomplished
With no desire to stop
My mouth goes a mile a minute
I just can't stop talking
Pacing back and forth
I just can't stop walking
Why do people suffer for no reason at all
I try to pull myself up but I always fall
Right back into this pit I can't escape
Tangled up in all of the red tape
I need a pair of scissors to start cutting
Some minds are full of sunshineSome minds are full of joyBut happiness doesn't comeTo every girl and boySometimes there's cloudy weatherAs far as the heart can seeStruggling through the stormIs all that's left for me It's raining in my brainThere'
Pull my strings and make me dance.
Oh, puppeteer. Help me put on my mask and hide.
Hide behind a smile, hide behind a frown.
Just don't let them see what I really feel.
The darkness swallowed me whole
I was drowning, struggling to breathe
I reached out trying to grasp onto something, anything
But my hand simply went through the empty void
I opened my mouth to call out
I've seen a lot of fucked up shit
Nothing scares me anymore
I want to be with you through thick and thin
Right by your side all the way
For next to you I will stay
You help me be the best I can be
This is how we play the game
Up down, left right
Down
Down
Down
SLAM
Rock bottom hits you
You have no energy left to fight back
The game isn't fair to most
Love is not what I expected
it's really reckless
never meant this word so much
I'd put it on a necklace
like if this person did me dirty
then i would neglect it
but everything she say is special
Depression is not an emotion
It is a disorder
It is a mixture of a million undefinable feelings
It is almost impossible to describe
Self Portrait as the Weeping Willow
Reservoir in my eyes,
current of my heart,
snapped the twigs of
my veins.
The fear, I feel. From
My head to my toes.
A poem for the days that you feel so alone
the days you feel lost even when you are home
A poem for nights when your tears pierce your pillow
when your head hangs low like an old weeping willow
Fear.
The mess of tangled thoughts, mangled anxieties, strangled shouts
That invades your brain
On quiet nights.
Fear.
Nerved to a breaking point,
I walk alone in a field painted in black blood,
spilled from my childhood.
My knees shaking,
and my tears lit by a full moon,
I wonder whtat my blood sugar will do if I eat that
yes, I can and will eat that.
Sometimes I just want to be normal
not having to deal with a millions things at once
constantly changing, shifting, moving
This demon in my head,
It fills me with hatred
And fuels my pain.
It denies me sanity,
And reminds me of my loss.
It plays back my memories,
My anger is not a star
Bursting with untamable fire
Stubbornly bright
When drowning in darkness
And boiling beneath the surface
To drive out the cold.
It's a double edged sword
The weapon
Holding onto my hopes
Yet I'm still letting go.
Keeping all of my faith,
but the demons, they know.
They drive me into the darkness,
and I feel so alone.
My hands feel so cold
My skin is my shield
It protects me from the world
It protects the world from me
The veins in my arms and legs look like bolts of lightning
When you choose sadness to take over the depths of your heartThen you let doubts and anxieties prevail over joyAnd when you opt to have your smile vanish in a whirlwind of fear
Stupid, fat, ugly
That's me
It's what teacher said, what mama said, what the kids on the playground said
It must be so
Who am I to disagree with the masses?
you were just laughing,
no, the both of us are laughing.
telling stories to each other,
like no one's ever shared a story.
You get lost in your insecurities
And trample on the stressful parts in life
You try to feed the desire
But you have no time
You are stuck in a deep pit
And cant find the rope to get up
To make up for deficiencies
Lacking or discrepancies
To fix or make anew
What's broke and disagrees with you.
"But I haven't sinned!"
I hear you cry
"It went that way alone, awry!"
One day clowns weren't scary
One day the dark was an escape
One day being buried was peaceful
One day I clung to them
I needed them
I get thoughts.
A lot.
These thoughts aren’t something you’d ever want.
They crawl slowly through your brain.
They take there sharp fingers and grind them into the flesh of your brain.
Hi Honey,
I won't be home for dinner.
Even though you made my favorite,
I am working late at the office.
The boss was on my case today.
To the days...
I’m going to take you back many years,
back to when you had very few fears.
Back to the days of seeing isn’t always believing,
and being promised candy is always deceiving.
The hold that you had found in my veins,
was not found without warning.
It was preceded by a feeling
That weighed heavy in my chest.
ALONE.
His mind had tricked him. It convinced him that no one in his life had cared or cares.
tell me the difference between you and I while
society explains to us that with our own eyes
we're to expect greatness from wealth
while the poor focus on being fly
BUT WHY?
tell me why
I am here standing in the darkness.
It is pitch black and cannot see a thing.
I stretch my hands feeling for something, anything.
I hear a blood-curdling scream that sounds like a high pitched whistle.
Unfamiliar
A child, scared at their own shadow,
Pondering its own unfamiliarity,
Slightly,
When he made her
he said she was going to be smart and funny and kind
and caring and she was going to have a boyfriend that she adores,
that always calls her beautiful
but she will have depression and anxiety
I lie awake thinking
While staring at my ceiling
About so many things
To name a few: my day
Tomorrow
The paint chip on
The wall
Just a reconnection. Please, it is all I ask.
Just one spark could set ablaze our past.
We could be something again.
But this time, we’ll last.
In times past the ground grew nothing
barren dark soil uneven beneath shoe soles
not a cloud seen through hopeless eyes
the fear of being burned
without a shield from scorching rays,
Messed up dreams,
Talking stranger things,
Thinking about what we could be,
And if you love me.
Why can't you see
I'm on your team,
Cause now we're playing
Hide 'n go seek yeah.
Think about it too much?
or not enough?
Will I ever believe in trust?
believe in me, and my own skin?
or will I fight, against my kin?
The stars in my eyes
They’re fading dim
The smile on my face
It’s wearing thin
The weight of my heart
It’s too much to hold
It’s pulling me under
I’m drowning in cold
When you are young
Misquotes choose the victim
While everyone is playing outside
There is one friend that will be eaten alive
While everyone else is fine
Once you are grown
The moon is round, And ice-cream white. I sit outside, and it feels right. Finally, I can breathe out tonight; There are no problems Lurking in the night It feels so calm and so gentle; This is exactly where I need to be; Not tucked in bed, pr
My mother went through struggles,
Most I was too young to see
I didn’t realize how hard she really had it
Until her life became a reflection of me
She had 5 kids,
five mouths to feed,
Why bother living
I have a friend who smiles brighter than any star you will see in the Milky Way galaxy and everywhere she went, she made sure to make others happy but... She wasn't happy herself and eventually became suicidal.
At the verge of losing control, a dagger, enters my chest, sent from his eyes, filled with indifference, one tear, no feelings, poison gushing from his lips—
Breathe.
Do I really have someone to lean on?
Or is it different when I'm gone?
Do they actually treat me as a true friend?
Or do they kill me when the lights go dim?
The truth is a hard thing to come by
“I’m Not A Threat, Unless Your A Threat To Me”
Why can’t you just let me be
Why are you offended when I decide to take a knee
Why can’t, you see, why we, seem to disagree
To understand why it exists, you must know its history.
Having experienced the devastation it leaves in its wake,
understanding its control over my life was no easy feat.
Let the tears pour out of my soul
For I am burdened
An anchor of pain has settled in me.
Optimism far from sight
Inundated by life’s sorrows
Scattered anger and solid sadness
Breaking as you hit the concrete ground
Cause no one to catch you was around
In tired tears you tried to drown
On broken shards you lay
There will be times when things between us might not feel so sweet. Those moments we look back on, wishing we could press delete. I might find myself tripping, when I only meant to sweep you off of your feet.
I fight an inner battle
Time and time again.
And though I don't give up fighting,
I fear one day they'll win.
For they have strong armies
And are growing stronger yet,
And I feel I'm growing weaker
There you were standing, stalled
Your eyes, a deer in headlights, lights
They held a killer cold hue
The best was given
Yet, it wasn’t good enough for you
"What is left?”
I see you, old f(r)iend
It was about time I came back again
I am crawling on my knees
Begging and pleading for you to love me
Please, I need you
My sweetest amor
I write my words on the page
and watch them disappear
I write them over
again
and again,
it’s like they were never there.
yet no matter how much
I write
and write
"50 days from now
I will graduate from college
50 days from now
I will get my dream job
50 days from now
I will become my own boss
50 days from now
I will meet the love of my life
Finding your voice is not easy to do.
It all starts with a problem you need to get through.
After trying to deal with it all by yourself,
You think, "maybe I should look outside myself."
The water runs clear,
and once it reaches
bottom, it blooms into a
pink flower.
The slight sting of the
water it welcomed, any
pain is welcomed.
The scars run deep
through this tattooed
There are days when I wonder why I try at all
Most things will end up fruitless
all that hard work gone to waste
Dreams don’t often come true for those who work hard
Life becomes pointless at one point in time
the blinds are drawn, the heavy-duty kind
that when fully extended, are impenetrable
against the sharp and prying rays of sun
threatening to spear my long-term dilated pupils,
Red.
And…
Black.
Your love was like a drug, you were my demon and my angel but only time could tell if we would end up in heaven or hell. Outspoken, choking, and broken I was finally awoken to your lies.
as I'm running to my goals
a hill stands in the way.
very tall, very steep,
and ruining my day.
I try to run up it
with every ounce of speed
but then I trip and then I fall
Sense of untrust and unease
insanity-
couldn't feel a thing and crying for help
losing -
Another year and nothing has changed
another thought and it's all the same
abusive people and abusive mind
God Made Me A Better Man
the morning stars made our
heavenly skylights ignite today
the colors corresponding
creating value to everything
God you have made me a better man.
I see her, benching more than I weigh as sweat pours out of her pores
She says she wants to be strong
It's time
I realize that now
I wasn’t ready before
Not like I thought I was
I was only forcing the inspiration
The urgency
Goodbye Mr.Funnyman.
You forgot to take your bow.
You left the stage in mid applause,
who do we laugh at now?
Was that the problem?
Our foolish eyes just didn't see
Though we are convicted walking down the streets. We are not the enemy
your here to protect many. Sure many were criminals but, to what intent not
to harm only to fight back with no work, no intelligence, no money. We are
Hello,
I have been seeing what you’ve been doing...
I have been wanting to ask you why you’re here.
I remember seeing you at arm's’ length,
But now you are caped to my silhouette.
Campus was cra-zay in an atrium, but was it that jac-ket... that pulled me to you?I didn't say a thing, somehow we're introduced. Thought there was something, did you feel it too? And I walked away (oh, oh), kept myself at bay (oh, oh).
I used to hate writing.
Yes, I said it.
I feel bad about it now.
I think it was all the essays in literture we had to write. Every. Single. Day.
I barely passed majority of them with flying colors.
For all the raging seas,
For all the turbulent forces,
For all the doors that had no keys,
In my eyes, life is about being hurt
Being hurt everywhere you go and it seems like it will never end
Your family always yelling at you to stop talking and always being left out
We don’t eat,
in fear of our hearts breaking,
from the words and looks we are given.
We don’t eat,
Sorry, do I Know you?
I begged for peace
but you gave
no rest
when my soul
was weak
My Reason for Living
Every day I lay thinking of you
Your smile bright as a 100-watt bulb
Your hugs comfort me like a warm blanket
All the tears we shed together
I am a rare and wild virgin flower in a field filled of poison ivy.
The kind of poison that's been infecting my life and trapped inside me.
And as I become wilted no longer able to get up, my family has been by me.
The Darkest Clouds don't just fill the sky,
Clouds fill the heads of weak minded children,
But like insects, they dig far, remaining hidden,
They say its fake joking slyly,
Here I go again...watching TV but my mind thinking about you..our last time..you and me reunited and released our essence together in the deep moan of love
©mynightprayerwords
Selly Agtus
The episode of Full House that reminds me of you came up today,
The one about the kid getting abused by his father.
The part that reminded me of you was his looks,
He was begging me not to.
No matter how much I wanted to do it
The spoken poem was grabbing my attention
And yet pinning me down to the earth I hated so much.
It latched onto my thoughts.
He was strong because he was forged in pain
Today he ruled because he never stopped when it rained
Even though it hurt,he was still holding on
Waiting for a day when all that suffering will be gone
Your gaze exposed me
My body seemed stiff and hypnotized
You broke down my defenses
Your eyes made me shiver
Your gaze makes me missed about something sweet
Making my mind floated imagine something
Did you cry?
Yes I did
Did you bleed?
Yes I bleed
Did you suffer?
Yes I did
Did you stuck?
Yes I did
What would you do?
I cry...
I bleed...
I suffer..
I faint...
I want more
More for what
More for love
More for attention
More for falling love
More more kissing
More for touch
More for embrace
More for everything
You drag me down into darkness
Making myself fill with darkness
The darkness come over me from my other side
And release me from the pain
The pain that you give to me so deep
Crawling in my shadow remove my pain
Don't love me if you want to leave me
Don't give me a sweet promise if you want to break it
Don't stop loving me
Although sometimes you get tired
Don't change a bit
Because in your love I find happiness
The demon frame in my deepest heart
Trying to leave the core of me
Want to cast a dark aura from me
Spreading the charm of my other self
The other me who is thirsty for lust
Your touch makes me shiver
Feel the warmth of your skin
Your kisses all over my body
Your tongue tracing in every curve of my body
Make me moan with pleasure
The heavenly pleasure of a man
My desires is always the same
Wherever life deposits me
It seems impossible that desire
Can sometimes transform into devotion
That I carefully tended grew lust to embrace my heart
I lost myself for a few times
I lost my zeal to write
I feel empty either in my head or my heart
I don't know for how long
I'll be like this
Only time will tell
©mynightprayerwords
Selly Agtus
Packing your bag in the night
Make me aware about something
Something that I scare of
Scare of about you
That you will packing everything
Include your heart and your love
That will leave me forever
I know I have to be strong
I have to be able to go through all this
I know this is very heavy
I know this is very difficult
Even though I have to live anyway
When you are in love
And you get hurt
It is like a cut
Sometimes you don't realize
How much you care for someone
Until they stop caring for you
©mynightprayerwords
Selly Agtus
Hello there.. How are you?
Have you thinking about me?
Because I'm thinking about you
Hello..
Can you hear me?
My heart trying to call you back but the voice becomes mute
Hello..
Can you hear me?
Sailing on the sand
I know the dangers up ahead
My mind is on and ready
My heart is leading fully
Sailing on the sand
Why I'm smiling but just pretending?Why I'm fine breathing but still suffocating?why I'm empty but feels so heavy?...Will i ever be happy??
Oh......
I am a sound
Created to be heard
I want to be heard and I want to hear so that I can learn to use my sound the right way
I am a unique and I am a blessing
I can build and I can destroy
my body is buzzing
frantic static inside my head
my blood runs cold
my skin burns hot
my vision blurs
i need it to STOP!
why won’t it stop?
i don’t feel real anymore
What’s the meaning of life Does anyone truly knowIs it all about finding someone Or exploring it on your own
She believed that living was a burden. Tracing every flaw, noting every mark.
The world was at her fingertips, yet the world was too much.
The soft flesh of your ashen, dirt covered cheeks.
The prestine awareness of your immacute perfection. Flawless.
Beauty and Grace and not a hair out of place. Must have been a deity of some sort. Or so I thought.
The voices around me makes me wanna do something I shouldn’t.
Can you get underneath that, interpret that.
Understand on a subatomic level the danger of those words no one will truly comprehend.
dear depression, i’m going to be honest: this is an ode i’ve written before because i have the habit of giving life to my monsters by giving up my own. this is an ode i’ve written before
I squeeze the ink in my veins to pen my pain with precision writs/
Avoiding smears for ones’ to vision the skits/
O Captain my Captain
Sailing ships around shores in my mind
Weaving in and out billowing sails
Docking only rarely to impart some wisdom from sea spray
Pirate conspiracies and elegant words
I am here, I am alive
These words I chant in my head,
A mantra, a banner,
As I lay down to bed.
I am here, I swear,
I am not the ghost I appear,
I am alive I say,
And I don't want to fade away.
When you are in love
And you get hurt
It is like a cut
Sometimes you don't realize
How much you care for someone
Until they stop caring for you
©mynightprayerwords
Selly A
I remember falling in love with you. Something in your eyes. Just something… As if your eyes yearned for the depths of my love; I could see your passion and my eternal desire. It resonated something in me. In the days of my restlessness, my going
tonight i put down the razor
and picked up a ballpoint pen
i learned to etch my pain onto paper
instead of engraving the words into my skin
i will write in letters of black ink
I grew up in a world
where everything was fine and dandy.
I lived with mommy and daddy,
and grandma always bought me my favorite candy.
Grandpa walked me to 1st grade every morning,
I grew up in a world
where everything was fine and dandy.
I lived with mommy and daddy,
and grandma always bought me my favorite candy.
Grandpa walked me to 1st grade every morning,
I grew up in a world
where everything was fine and dandy.
I lived with mommy and daddy,
and grandma always bought me my favorite candy.
Grandpa walked me to 1st grade every morning,
Loving you came in waves.
At first, the water only touched my toes
With text messages and winking emojis
Then the water was to my ankles
You texted me every day,
It didn't matter what we talked about
A piece of writing, according to a dictionary definition
That partakes of the nature of both speech and song, according to a dictionary definition
To build a home is to tear apart
All the things that broke our hearts.
To tie together all the strings
That hung about lost as they sway with our movements like wings.
To make a dream is to rise above
What is poetry?
Is it the art of elegantly knitting words together,
for the purpose to intice or seduce.
Or is it a way to finally help make sense,
of the messy never ending chaos inside us?
The paper was too blank.
But my mind was too fast.
Danez Smith taught me something.
He said that poetry helps with pain
Because putting a meter to sadness
Helps you structure
Helps you cope
My covers like a castle wall,Protect me from the barrage of emotions,Too much to run from,So I hide under waiting for a call.
All I do is get on your nerves...
Make you feel bad and make you hate me...
My friends are anger, anxiety.. oh and well... fear.
As my Pen runs out of Ink, I'm forced to stare, to stop and think.
This Pen that flitters, jumps and dances; over page it skitters, prances
This Pen that colors, draws, and spells: This Pen, which over wording swells.
When I look in the mirror, who do I see?
The girl of my dreams or the one I wish to be?
Society wants me to be perfection
But I have an addiction
to wanting to be intellect,
So remember nobody's perfect.
What we thought the Future would be.
Gargantuan ships
Dwarfing
Golden Arch bridges
What we thought
The future would be
It has taken a lot of courage to make it through my first year in college, but I made it.
I’ve remained determined and I will continue to work my goal to become a director of movies
How now brown cow?
Do you wear your crown when they hate your brown?
How now when no one is around?
Do you still frown? Still feel down?
Neglected? Unheard?
Like your voice don’t sound?
Red blotched scarred face,
Clenched teeth,
Mouth with a sour bitter taste,
Scarlet eyes bleeding pain,
Agitated menacing thoughts in the brain,
Balled up fists, white bruised knuckes,
Tense,alert body
This is what life really is
Not all fairy tales and roses
I'm putting down my walls,
So you can get a sense of some truth
So you can accept it
Reflecting on the days that I had it easy
Pitch black surrounds my world
An ebony melody which is its own heartbeat
Once bright and all about color
Now lies broken in pieces at my feet
The innocence of youth so strong yet fragile
Bloodshot eyes
Clear despite the rain
Breaths as silent as they are translucent
Dark circles
Can you understand that
I’m hurting?
Can you understand that
It’s killing me?
What you ask is to live
Skin as pale as paper,
Words bleeding upon its surface
Spelling out red lines of bloody truths.
My pen, shedding ink.
My knife, dripping blood.
Fairy tales fill us with hope of a happy ending,
Legends give us a purpose to achieve,
And Folk tales can give us a laugh from reality.
But reality has to take affect sooner or later
Poetry is the light in Darkness
Poetry has taught me to express myself on my darkest days.
Poetry has taught me to control my emotions and listen.
My heart has been ripped apart by your words your seething lies I denied because my love for you made me blind. Where is the light? You laugh at me as your darkness chokes me smothers the light that I wish would come back.
Quiet and unsure,
Shaking and scared
With a stutter so obscure
The words wouldn't come out
They asked again,
most days i don't
know what to do
with the poems
stuck in my lungs.
or begin to know how
to set them free. there
is no air & i've let go
of the hope that you
would understand
How was your day today?
I ask them everday;
To make sure they're okay,
and to care for their say.
She said "I'm good" one day.
A facade she would play
to hide her little gray,
Behold!
Behold a place that’s home to those
whose found themselves quite comfortable
losing hope within their own
self…
Do you remember when Forrest Gump recited a simile his mother made?
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.
Poetry was like that for me when I was young girl.
It's a very black night,
Just with no light,
Living with mosquitos,
Sinking in cold water,
I, in the current state, is not a stateThat nobody wants.My past state, is alsoA state nobody wants.I, in the past,Was like a jesterIn the king’s court.Some memories die,While some don’t.
I find solace in my wordsBecause apart from them being words, they are mineMy ideas, my thoughts, my experience, my storyMy words And my words are ones of brawn and boldness
and when i saw him
i just knew he was gonna be the one to break my heart
and i was right
-T.D. Ronk
I was a sinking ship
Headed towards the bottom
Of the ocean; lost in motion
Were dreams that seemed
too far from reality
I wasn't sure I was going to make it
But the ship continued sinking...
She spoke in broken sentences
Ones that MLA format me couldn't grasp
I laughed for the first few
I cried at the last
"Explaining My Depression to My Mother"
After that
No.
I really don’t want to talk about it,
Stop.
Why are you insisting, why aren’t you listening to
I was a Curious Cat born in a flock of sheep
Appearing to the world, an apparition
They cut claws, and shaved down paws
To sheild as hooves
Overgrowing my fur, bleaching it wool white
Down on a glooomy day,
Depression took contol of my ways,
The therapeutic words in poetry,
Had me feeling like a bear with honey to eat,
Poetry is protein for the soul,
They hated me for being someone else they hated me for being me.
They told lies about me to the whole wide world, so a hoe is all that they see.
Driving by on the sidewalks I see some broken people.
Driving by on the view I see some lonely people.
Driving by the sidewalks I see some crippled people.
Driving by the view I see some strange people.
Freedom of expression isn't something everyone has
Writing the way we can is a privilege
We can read it and write and learn from the best
Poe, Shakespeare, Frost
All just the tip of the metaphorical iceberg
I like the words I have yet said
Like poetry left unstirred
The space between every line
Every letter, leaves room
For the undead
Red, shred, dread, and led
It doesn't make sense
A girl sits,
head buried in hands,
eyes burning with unshed tears,
troubled spirit tearing at her innards.
Images swim before her,
memories of agonizing days gone by -
her mother's furious face,
How can I rhyme the words in my head
When my medication keeps my creativity dead
It suppresses my mind and artistic creation
Right and left brain have no correlation
My inner child wants to frolick and play
a spark.
In my eye,
In my laugh,
In my intelligent sprawl.
I'm told I hold this minute catalyst
in the simple moves of my frame. but no,
my life, my story. I'd know if it were so.
a spark,
all of the days when you wanted to hide
all of the times when you made mistakes
all of the moments when you hated what lived inside
all of the nights when your heart finally breaks
Love /ləv/- an intense feeling of deep affection
Love /ləv/- silence echoing outdoors as I lay eyes on you
Love /ləv/- our eyes lighting up as you spin me to class
Love /ləv/- handing you my heart to fix your broken one
This rat race, it’s one bad place
Where I can’t breathe and I can’t see
Struggling on my knees for this piece of cheese.
The world? Oh, it’s watching, see?
And coming after me on this treadmill
All it takes is a beautiful Fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are.
-Robin Williams
There's a possibility
things will get better
But the memories you
have - will leave
never
So how do you hold
on to that possibility
with hope that
weighs
a
feather
There is something so innocent about the night.
Maybe it's the sound of the wind that whistles the trees
or the silence breaks as a car passes through every hour or so.
Will I fall, will I win, will I gain or will I lose
The darkness of my past, displays the light held in my eyes
Wrapping me in a cocoon, sealed so tight, pushing away from all light
It's a struggle
My body squirms every time my thumb hits the blue arrow
Reveal too much and I become a slave, she's the Jew's Pharoah
Conceal too much, she may turn away,
This is my conflict, my new peril.
To fall in love.To give your heart away.To share your passionsWith another All of these things are fantasies.Fantasies that are rapturous cords.Linked around my heart.How I have dreamed of sharing the jewels of my heart.With someone like me.Going
A dark abyss swallows my soulLonely and cold, out of controlI push and I pushInside, always breakingNever forgetting, Never forsakingA smile, simpleIt hides my fear
What comes before the calming stormThan chaos, unfiltered, unfettered, noiseDay by day, night after unrelenting nightI am only clear unto myselfFor the ones, them and theyCan not understand, or is it won't?
Through you
I can write about her
With you
I can unleash my feelings
Control
Is what you gave me
Unleashing my emotions has
Never been so easy
No one has to look at you
Only me
I vanished for a while
Tried to get my shit together
Then came all the cloudy weather
Making me decide wether or not to come back
But here I am
And in the end
I have my friends
I wake up in the morning and honestly I don't have the strength to move.
But I do.
There's so much I've been hiding from everyone for several years.
This is why you don't understand.
Internalize
In turn all eyes turn inwardand find only darkness,what a clever disguise.
Never let your Past catch up to yourself
No matter how much the past stabs your back
keep your head up and run with those who give you hope
We as humans are born to endure hatred and Depression
Depression a black dark wave of regret and sadness
What did i do wrong? Why wasn't it enough?
Why wasn't i enough?
Some days shine bright and my future seems brighter
Why do I dislike your company?
Why does the conversation run dry?
Why does your presence elicit disharmony?
Why do you render my plans awry?
I find your interests to be drivel,
Trouble Is An Object, You Don't Really Want It. Pass It To The Next Man, Maybe He Will Want It. Maybe He Will Flaunt It, Attracted To Its Danger. Or Draw Back And Cast It, In The Direction Of His Anger. Trouble Is An Object, That Can Transform
You're my drug, my addiction.
My pack of cigarettes, my cocaine.
The perfect sex that leaves me exhausted and wanting sleep.
I get so high off you, so drunk.
So lost, with no words to describe this feeling.
As i watch the tears fall from my sister's eyes as she is dragged by her hair
Her whimpers as her face gets scraped on the concrete.
Do you ever feel not good enough?
like the journey’s too long and the trail is too rough?
Do you ever feel like letting go?
like falling through time with nothing below?
Do you ever feel like the sun never shines?
Once again I've been speaking to the shadows on the wall as the moon brings light into my room of darkness.
Constant thoughts of throwing away my last piece of humanity for one piece of sanity. Bipolar thoughts cloud my mind.
Cover your ears little darling,
Space your fingers evenly like piano keys
No scant remains of your cry
Will scar your beloved brain, a pained pulp
Stand feet shoulder length apart
Your mind feeds you thoughts that all pile up into your stomachand become the apple seed that sucks away your nourishment and only gets stronger as it grows and grows
I'm sorry, but who are you to judge a book by its cover?
I could give you the world..
BUT
I'm an infant so I guess I can't light your world up.
I'm sorry but who are you to walk away from me?
But alas, I sit in this barren, cold room. Very much solitude. No sun, no moon. Storm nor shine do I find. Dark nor light existing. Just space, space and confusion, doubt, and worry. Running, chasing invisible dreams. Dreams so unreal, dreams so
A kid wakes up.
He sees the sky out of the glass pane window.
He starts to shiver because of the morning cold.
Once the young child stands up,
He started to feel confused.
But then he soon realized
Dear Depression,
This is a notice of eviction.
You will find this letter on the door
When you decide to visit next
It will be locked from the inside.
Dear Depression,
Some time ago, there was a person.Who only saw the world with no color.Yet, there was always colors around them.The colors were yet to be discovered.These colors were known as shouting colors.
Dear Reader,
Some of us are full,
so full we could fill the oceans
and paint the skies
with our emotion.
Some of us are empty,
so empty we could
Dear Past Me,
I'm sorry.
I'm so incredibly sorry
For what you went through,
For how you were treated.
You should have never accepted
What they were giving you.
My words do not mean anything
They are just emotionless sound.
The friction of my lips,
The dictation of my tongue against my teeth,
The spit slurring all around
Dear Mental Health,
We talked about this.
You said that if I took my head meds,
You said that if I reached out,
You said that if I tried,
Hey little girl why are you crying?
Is the weight of the world on your shoulders?
Did the stars fade out of the sky?
Are you sad because he's always lying?
Is it because you realized you're growing older?
Dear Depression,
it’s been a long time, hasn’t it? The past months of traveling and working have made me breathless. I’ve listened to new music, ate new foods, and
One pill, two pill, three pill four, already started let me take some more.Five pill, six pill, seven pill, eight these are for all the people who look on me with hate.Nine pill, ten pill,eleven pill, twelve these are for all the family members I'
Dear Perfect Stranger Who’s Trying to Help,
I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have
Just trying to make life go right
In a world that seems all wrong
Fake a smile, force a laugh, don’t let them know you’re sad. Follow social cues, don’t give them any clues, of the weight that’s burdening you. Tell them you’re okay, convince them with what you say, your smile is too heavy to hold.
Dear 12-Year Old Me,
They said you would be a failure
Do not listen
You have excellence in you
You challenged the criticism
You passed
You found paradise
Spark up for what may be the very Last time,Raise your glass,Unaware of when your next drinkWill be.Dance with a stranger,Any way you please.Nothing more was promised to youBut this moment,So spend it with a passion,With a fire,One that only you a
Dear you,
Something that is not grey
Is black and white, of course.
Like right and wrong
And bitter and sweet.
A contradiction of "no other color,"
Could only be pain.
Our friend and enemy:
Dear depression, you have thrown me around beating me
Throwing darkness in my head right before I went to bed
Playing with my emotions, driving me insane
Best friends are those who are in the bad and the good, despite the bad.
Those that make you cry in laughter and emotion at the same time for any
reason. Those are the good friends, right?
salut, mon petit!
that's how i greet you
since we're both french minors
and we're both multi-ethnic
and we grew up in the same hometown
and we were born 11 days apart
You are a self important hero with so many complexes that I have since lost track of my own senses while trying to count them all I am sorry that my pain has given you so much grief but it was mine, remember?
I thank you kindly for your words but ask also that you do not pity meI have never lived my life as a victim, and I’m not planning on starting now.
Your obsession with my willingness to overcome challenge leaves me feeling like a failure
Your words have power the way you use them hurts me
Dear Depression,
You came.
Made your claim,
Took my flame, my name.
What a shame,
It’s all the same.
You ever want to kill yourself?
Not in the way that comes to mind
But instead that being that lies inside
Do you ever get tired of him?
The you that limits your personal life
I feel cold arms wrap around me,
A possessive grip, not one of love or comfort.
I've struggled for so long to get away,
But now, there isn't enough energy left to fight,
So I just sit apathetically,
Screaming. Arguments. Anger. Depression. Crying. Regret.
I’m suffocating. The voices, inside and out, strangle me.
Everybody complains I don’t listen to them, they’re trying to help.
To whom it may concern,
When you’re tired and feeling low
Most of your days are full of sorrow,
Take a step back
It’s okay to get side-tracked
Don’t lose your soul
I feel so alone,
And I can’t seem to condone,
These feelings that rip through me,
And I can’t even flee,
I’m so afraid I’ll never have anyone,
That I’ll never love someone,
And I’ll never be loved,
The body
of me
hangs on the edge
of a cliff
hanging only
by a single thread
by the name of
hope
hope clings to me
as if
i have nothing else
as if
Dear First Love,
With words left unsaid,
and feelings left unexplored,
I try to rest my head,
as sleep goes ignored.
We were two young kids with the world at our feet.
-constellations run through
my veins
and galaxies
in my eyes
but you never much liked
nighttime,
did you?
I know you probably have had millions of different people around the world seek out to you. People of different skin tones and cultures, who have been searching for you their entire life's and not to even have a glimpse of you. The real you.
My mom gave up on me before she gave me a chance,
I’m trying hard to forgive her but at this point I can’t,
My dad tried his hardest but even he let me down,
Dear White America,
You are not so endearing.
I bear the thorned cross of an ethnic name,
burdened with baggage instituted,
from bloodened roots that cultivated this soil.
White American Academia,
Such phantoms
Accompany no one else
Such time is spent
In no other hell
The only light is a tiny spark
Behold; a writer in the dark
Trapped and wrought
In a cave so lonely
She's in a new world
Lonely girl, where are your parents?
A new area, so familiar but never explored
Adventure awaits those who seek it
She's taking the next step, just as useless as before
At 14 I explored ever corner of my soul ,
I memorized every milestone, heartbreak and path that lead me to my being,
At 15 my world was overruled by the truth,
I knew nothing,
Fight it,
Come on,
Fight it,
I'm better than this,
Softly addictions whisper to me,
Late at night when I'm all alone,
But I'm tired of giving in,
I'm tired of abusing myself,
The urge is overwhelming,My body and mind wants it so badBut the scars cannot be hiddenIt is an addiction.
Dear Depression,
I beg of you to leave
this soul of mine to grieve
for I cannot take this pain no more
for it is difficult to restore
the happiness of before.
This pain is killing me
Have you ever felt like you can’t get out of bed? You feel you literally cannot get dressed? Like you have no energy to pick up a fork? Or put on a shirt? No interest or ability to concentrate on anything?
“ I don’t know man, she just didn’t seem like the type of girl to do that. I swear she was always happy ”
“maybe she was faking it ”
Wide smile
Bright eyes
Loud laugh
Ready joke
A joyful girl:
Unafraid,
Unfazed
Ready to lend an ear,
Ready to give a hand
Wings with lift to soar
When you can't take any more
What you never saw before
Wings with lift to soar
I blinked and this week's been
i stared into broken mirror
with the pieces all scattered about
blood all over my wrist
i fought back tears as darkness gnawed at me
its the fifth time i tried taking my life
when its not even mine to take
From the first day i ever cried
without reason, i was told to
be stone cold, never show 'em how you feel,
because emotions are bad bad bad
don't use those dirty words.
Dear you,
My feelings are hidden
Somewhere deep in another world
So far away that no one else can reach them
But you
She whispers into the darkness,
to find light.
I do not understand.
If she is trying to find light,
why look in the dark?
I speak for the students or should I say the slaves, Working all the time to impress our parents with grades, And Schools with sports, Teachers with clubs, Colleges with SAT's, Extra curriculars, Majors in particular, Community service, It all mak
There’s a new you in town
In my neighborhood
On my street
Too close for comfort
'Registered Sex Offender'
Do you know how it feels to not feel good enough For another woman to enter the room and your afraid that it's her instead of you that they want to cuff How in the mirror you feel like a sapphire, emerald, pearl; but get in a room full of diamonds
To Whom It May Concern,
Now or never:
In the O four hundredth hour.
It seems: dark shadows like ghosts
Running away where we drive ahead
Engines roaring in the lonely atmosphere
dear misery,
i’m writing this letter to ask you to leave.
i can no longer take the constant torment.
i can no longer take the constant pain.
365 days ago the roof over my head was secure, paid for with my own money.
365 days ago I had 1 tiny window in a basement and I felt great pride because
365 days before that I was on the verge of homelessness.
I know that now.
I knew that then.
I was hoping we could be more than just friends.
I'd rather go blind than to see you two together again.
I'd rather lose sight than to see her with your last name.
5 Senses
Have you ever heard of men's differnt smells?
Some got Degree
Some got Old Spice
But I've got secrets.
The day your sweat aroused my hand, I felt a certain stench around you.
Dear Depression,
It's hard to know when you want to hit
It scares me that today may be my last,
because you control my mind,
Day after day I have a smile on my face,
Yet inside my world is a mess,
Dear you,
If you haven't heard it today
I believe in you,
even though we've never met.
I believe in you because I know it is hard
to believe in yourself,
Dear Mom,
Mom, my depression is a shape shifter.
One day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear,
Sometimes we take a breath,
Breathe in the clean, crisp air of possibilities,
Sometimes we breathe in deep,
Lungs full of water, six feet deep.
Because I love you
I will never hurt you
My hand shall not raise
Or meet your skin with a "thwap"
Becuase I love you
I will never stray
Nor will I even look their way
I'm gonna start working on me, myself and I
Gonna stop all this just tryin to get by
telling me to "get better", "stop crying", "you're fine"
The Teller
I looked in your eyes, but I just couldn’t see
A glimmer of hope reflect back to me
The hours we spent the laughs we cashed in
But the bank closed at 5 and it’s a quarter till 10
A smile on my face even when it hurts to make it happen
A ache in my heart , not knowing why it's happening
A broken mind,trying to holding on to every piece
pain and anger is the only things escaping me
onetwothreeonetwothree
This is how Elza stands up every day.
She has to convince her frail, 94 year old body
To do the work it’s supposed to do on its own.
It was here, that I found myself close to the edge
And I almost thought, with you, I could find a pledge,
To destroy this part of me that wanted to commit my own death
As I closed my eyes
I could hear the raindrops sing,
I could hear the wind whistling
“it’s going to be okay”
“it’s all over now”
“it’s going to be okay”
What you know about the silence of the lambs
I'm not talking about that cross dresser shit.
I mean the way people today choose to live,
cowardly, afraid to speak up. Think differently,
Shattered,
Into millions of glittering fragments,
The last remnants of the dream I held onto so fiercely
I watched it fall,
Even before it happened,
That wobbling self-fulfilling prophecy
The one you love should touch your soul
Calm the storm that riots within you
Bring out the wholesome you
Love is a risk
It exposes you
Your vulernibility
Your trust
Your patience
Because I Love You,
Please Eat.
it's been three days and
you are so shakey
it's like you could crumble
at any second.
Breathe.
in and out,
it seems impossible in the moment
Because I love(d) youI’ve swallowedbonesand emptied oceansand painted crimson on the floorwe’ve tasted regretforfartoolongand loneliness has become our bitter companion
Dear future me,
Your mind so bright
Your heart so fragile and light
I have hopes for you
Oh future me,
And so many do
I wish to paint your carcass black,
Show you all the dark thoughts I've ever had.
I wish to tear you limb from limb,
Use my anger
To show you the pain I'm in.
Circumstance by Angela Brown
Why am I a product of circumstance?
I’m not red, yellow or brown!
"Why do we, Ja'Qaylin?" they ask."Do you know yourself?" I ask the barbarians of today's societyThe biased and unsureWonder why....
Staring out the window, my mind in blank.
I felt numb, hollow, crushed, and heavy.
At school, my smile was too cheerful.
No one noticed.
I started to lose my appetite.
No one noticed.
What can I say.
Pain is one thing, depression is another.
I hide my feelings from my mother,
While I test my father's temper.
They want me to be like them
Some days I am fire, some days I am ice,
Some days I am darkness, curled up in vice,
But all days I am human, all days I am me.
It is for better or for worse you see.
I want to walk upon the waters, but it seems so inviting.
I may just tumble down to the depths and feel my last breath.
I want to lay on the ocean floor.
I want to watch as my last breath rises to the surface without me.
Everyday, Every night it haunts me
The feeling, the urge, the need
To feel the pain, to hide away
What really lies inside me
It screams, and shouts to be let out
I want to end all the pain
I feel the earth under my back, pressing against me as I am pressed against it, equal so that there is no tremble. The world is still. I let my fingers lie loosely, the apple that had rolled out of my hand still only a foot or so away.
The larking of the crows, Dawn: The dark days
The tree's splitting shadow, obscure, silent
Whips of black, crack the dull morning daze
The breaking light crimson, almost violent
Now I understand the reasons why
I can't destroy my existence
Since it is only made up of
Pure rages and happiness.
He sees the side of me
No one ever gets to feel.
In the lonely streets and busy highways,
I pass by wondering which way you wish to go
What pain you carry in your heart,
What story burdens your mind
And what lesson you are learning from
Thoughts can be hurtful.
Thoughts can be dangerous.
Thoughts can be killing.
Distract me from my terrible thoughts.
Almost like paper.
So easy to tear up and
Throw away.
Cut into small pices,
Color it and
Permantly damage it.
We are all searching
Searching for that special someone
Someone who will be there and stick with us
Stick with us when times are tough
Stick with us when times are great.
I met that someone.
They wonder why,
why we can't sleep at night,
tell us such pretty lies,
why we can't sleep at night,
the anti depressants are too tight,
acid and synthetics wearing off,
haze of something crimson,
I Will.
I will lift you from the ground when you fall,
Be at your side with even just one call,
“Because I love you.”I mutter.
I’m not hungry.
The thought of food disgusts me.
I eat anyway.
“Because I love you.”
I whimper.
I’m curled in bed early.
No matter what I may say, I do not hate you,
I do not hate you, I love you,
And the only person I truly hate is myself
Simply because I thought you were different,
(1) One Thousand and One Nights
"Tell us a story." The voices whisper.
It's getting dark out.
There are far too many shadows.
The room echoes of silence.
Once upon a ti—
Wait.
We all know how this story goes,
A damsel seemingly in distress,
begging for help
though pleas never fell from her lips,
for she is independent.
Once upon a plastic heel
I grew up in the slums ain't no glass slipper real
running out of the club because the cops showed up
Mr. Prince Charming yelling, "you left your cup"
my cup of what? Sure wasn't my dignity
I’m not depressed, just unimpressedWith all the stress, it’s all distressYouTry your best at life’s request?A pointless quest that ends in death
I overcame my depression, sadness, and self recession
By teaching myself a lesson
On what it would be like by going to heaven,
Then being kicked back down to hell
Nowhere to scream and shout
Oh, Mr. Plumber man,
I heard drips from my sink.
So I called you over,
to come and fix the leak.
Covered from head to toes, in this sinful mud
Weighs more than a thousand tons
Seeking for help, in wrong directions we run
Haters dont have nothing on me they just trying to destroy me. I'm on to u and u on to me but what can we say.
There comes a time when we will be tried,When our coats are sopping wet,And our brains are fried,Our shoelaces swishing through a puddle as we fret,
I am drowning. Slowly. The color, from my world, swirls down the cyclone of this sea, and me right along with it. It gets greyer with each passing month, then the pace quickens.
It's funny
how we believe in a dream
and see what is make believe.
We want to be the prince who becomes a king
Does anyone listen
To the bird perched upon the tree.
The one who tries to listen
The one who always sees.
Does anyone listen
She didn't know why
Her anti-suicide talks
Wouldn't work on her.
It was told that a leader of many
Would not see the morning moon.
That the giver of plenty,
Would die too soon.
Today, he decides to live alongside The Light’s curse.
She feels like a ghost among the living
With no destination or purpose,
A mind so big deserves much more then
Be simply unnoticed by many.
One more step, and she falls on her feet
A life for a life is what they say
Sacrifice your needs for others and then you would feel good
What a bunch of bullshit is that
I have never felt so alone and useless in my life
Origamis of live samples
Deliver poison in live miniature models
Approach by passion cut short
By responsibilities tentacles
Standing in desires court
Accept sentence given by 'learned' animals
Is possible to be who you are when the whole world is against you?
Does it matter if you know who you are if the ones you cherish will only reject you
To be who you are is to experience pain
Where did you go
My Soul, my soul?
Oh God do answer
For only you know.
My soul, my soul
To where did you leave?
Or are you trapped within pulsating walls
Where the darkness does so cleave?
When I say "homeless," what do you see?
Someone dressed in dirty clothes, out on the street?
Someone with a cup, asking for change so they can eat?
Someone who struggles to get back on their feet?
These words are my energy,
Poised and beautiful poetry,
Defining who I are, my identity;
Paving a way for my legacy,
This poetry to me became as pornography.
"Counselor" by Zarinah Alarcon
I’m that girl that sits up
late at night with thoughts
constantly running through my head.
For many years,
I was forced, to sit quietly by
and be subjected to the hateful words that were said by you.
You would say that I’m lazy,
Sometimes,
i lose hope.
sometimes the pressure is too much
sometimes
the memes are too dank for me
for my family
for my community
for us all
so i must share them
BUT!
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful princess
Now we all know how this story goes but noone knows cinderella woes
This story is often told from people looking in
Noone knew her struggle and what she felt within
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, pleases let down your hair.
Your beautiful but uptight, do not hold yourself captive up there,
Your so smart, but oblivious,
Destined for something so... great, however unaware
It was spring when we had a talk
Asked if I know you, excited me
With no thoughts, at loss of words said
I hate you with no harm
It was the time when the hot weather caught us
People say whatever they want without knowledge
“1st amendment,” they say.
We are different in every way, and that’s what’s beautiful.
Misery loves company
So meet me by the hanging tree
Where my friends all are, and there they are
Hanging together beneath the stars.
When night falls, He appears
Feeding on our darkest fears.
Oh Chicago, how you eat its young with passion in the night.
Oh Chicago, how you reveal a love soliloquy from Frank himself.
We are the epitome of pride and success
Leaders in our fields-and in the fields
Melanin seeps in our skin
Pride runs through our veins
Can I try to escape from
All my nightmares and demons
Soon this era will be done
The truth of time is too blunt
To not cut like a sharp knife
Time flies when you're blind
Gravity let our hearts collide
Burning flames give it away
Our love brightened the darkest of days
We never knew we would crack
We thought our love was bullet proof glass
I am thankful for the sun
Such a bright brilliant sun
So tough yet so optimistic
When its gone its hard not to miss it
Prompted up in your crisp blue castle
My thirteen reasons why
Life pushed me stronger to survive
One. Served for a few years ,
Some very holy regulars came in
They said I've been gaining weight
You never listened
You never cared
I was missing
Some heart repairs
You showed me the door
which I would walk through
With my heart fully sore
but it didn't matter to you
Where has my strength gone?
I used to
I used to be so tough
Never sleeping and all
Wave by wave, I slipped up, grades sank
And now I sink too
Buoyancy, my old friend, is all I'm riding on
A paternal guide’s absence made for an angered child
Depressed
and journeyed a rite of passage to rite
as means to digest unwonted stress manifested on paper
Yes I can see
From the glow of my computer light
That I cannot be proud of
Our stars and stripes.
We stand on the shore and ignore
The helpless cries of our fellow man,
In the corner crying
she feels like dying the music playing sad song
sometimes she sings along the melody beautiful remedy her Clarity
broken she will stand her pain... No one understand
For my country, my heart swells with pride;
The land where my rights are upheld, and never denied.
But I must confess,
Our country is a constant work in progress.
To me it’s a shrouded mystery,
America wasn't great?
Im sorry, didn't know.
We aren't truly free?
Is that an actual fact?
I didn't even know.
I Couldnt see.
Cause I knew from the start,
America wasn't made for me.
Fuck. I want to die. I wasn’t supposed to let it get this bad again but it’s not like I really had any choice in the matter. It’s my brain who fucked up here, not me.
till the limbs can't breathe
stepping, always
continuing
time is freely yours
the sights before you make it worth
the sky is beneath
vibrations make waves, joy
happiness is for thee
Chained to the ground, accept it Live it Chin to your chest Tears stream down your face You count your days till emancipation Hope in your heart, deny it Escape it Head up high eyes to the sky Chains rattle as you struggle You count your days ti
Everyday I fight a war.
I get up without the guarantee of seeing you.
I go to school without you to make it bearable.
I smile without you to make it real.
I laugh without you to make it full.
"You must do well."
But why?
"You have to.
You have to fight, you have to climb, no matter how rusted the latter is.
"You have to do better than me."
"You have to outshine the others."
She will never let you soak up a tear
and she will beg you to have no fear
because she was perfect before you
and she will rise once again too.
Yes, she may ask you to her door,
but for now
Its another lonely night
My skin feels cold to the touch
My heart grows colder still
Why do I hurt so much?
Somethings are hard to admit
Others make me want to cry
But I'll admit the darkest thoughts
March on, march on
Little soldier, march on.
The path may be weary
And dreary
And cold
Through the gauntlet of expression and conformity,
Of G notes and B naturals,
Of passion and emptiness,
From her head down to her toes,
She was skin and bones…and tumors.
As the first month commenced, so did the malignancy.
As the flowers blossomed, so did the pain.
Choking on pills surrendered its threat, for
What am I thankful for?
I am thankful I am not in the streets but surrounded by people that love me,
not in a gang or or selling dope but always around kindness and hope.
2016 was a piñata full of cheap candy.
All around, everyone was chirping dale, dale, dale.
Drive-bys.
Ya le diste uno.
Crooked landlords.
Ya le diste dos.
My hair is getting blown in the wind as I pedal over rocks and dirtThis trail is bumpier than I had heardBut this doesn't stop meAnd I choose to pedal fasterAnd all around, leaves shed from their branches above meAs all of my struggles and bad mem
Cheerful smiles shine bright
Nothing seems to bring her down
Rarely is she hurt
Friends always by her
Loved by all and feared by none
She'd never hurt a fly
A careless, free soul
I am alone.
Or, am I really?
What hides in the shadows?
Is my fear truly gone?
I have flown through many ways,
Speeding the only test I know.
I move wrong, but I can't back-track,
They prayed for you to succeed in all you do
But what are you supposed to do
When all you do
Is make people proud?
There is nothing that speaks to you
And they speak to you
life goes on
we never know wha to
expect, it has many
twist and turns
and from that we
learn from our mistakes
we move foward
never looking back
forgeting the past
I look to the stars
every night I see
I see my world
falling down on me
Will it ever end?
As my spirit sends
and it comes back tumbling down
comes crashing down
When the Sun lights up
Jumping into the year with exectations so high
Played football but got out because my school work was too severe
Tried out for the basketball team didn't make it
I don’t know where I’m headed,
But I wanna know before I go
Which way is right? Which way is left?
From the vibrations of my screams
to caper-colored bruises
you denied me to be all women, a
Woman in passion
Woman in tears
Woman with smiles
Woman and proud.
We hide in shells
we cry in ourselves
we can't hide ourselves
We look for hope in your eyes
for we cant see nor can we be friends
Twisted from the dark that we can no longer see light
Did you ever wondered
Why am I still alive?
As you cried yourself to sleep
Or as you wake up in your bed
Or in a hospital bed.
How many times did you thought of just giving up?
I just have to keep running
I have to run towards the sun and try to reach it
but, I keep fallling
I run, I run as fast as I can before the sun beats me.
i see A New year forming and i anXiously find myself lookIng back on two thousand sixtEen seeing where i mighT trY to grow.
iT seems as if we oveRestImatE how much our minDs can handle,
They are the only thing that scares me.
I am the only one afraid of them.
Twelve unopened letters with secrets sealed inside and my name as the recipient.
Twelve that I should have opened, but they sit here.
Slipping under the guards of yellow tape, that warns "stay away," burying myself into clouds and space. Locked into this haven, reserved only for my soul,
I'm filled with laughter and I'm filled with hate. Bipolar destruction that's not so great. Stuck with depression urged by perfection, a smile that's desired and a cry that's gone tired.
The tree of life it stands
Against the white beach sands
A lovely vision of life
An ongoing reminder of strife
We languish and fret
And and poke and pet
At life and its ills
And our bitter pills
This year has tested me.
Tested my strength,
Tested my courage,
Tested my ability.
Problems arising like constant showers during a storm,
All day and all night,
It's never ending.
Lost again within transition
Blurred living with no real vision
Numbed aches
A Selfless destruction
An ease sustained in illicit fashion
I never thought something invisible
could run my every day.
Anxiety is like a water balloon,
it fills and fills until finally
it explodes
blurring your vision
drenching every part of you.
Floating pages in the wind,
Some words written on my skin.
Yes I was born into sin,
But where do I truly begin?
Maybe I lost myself in all the books,
Pages upon pages was all it took.
Struggle,
we struggle each and every day
we get upset
angry
even cry in our very own bed
Struggle is like being a mighty lion
with nothing to eat
You are so worthy
so capable
I stand atop this mountain, many souls in sight
I try to converse at the fountain, they vanish into the light
Crowded with loneliness and filled with mistrust
I begin to accept it now, empty with dust
I stand atop this mountain, many souls in sight
I try to converse at the fountain, they vanish into the light
Crowded with loneliness and filled with mistrust
I begin to accept it now, empty with dust
We were centered around coldFrom our dreams, to our sports Cold was a running motif You played hockey, I slept in coldI'd leave my fan on foreverYou didn't mind it back then
You see it everywhere
"oh 2016 was the worst!"
"man, I think 2016 was the real 2012"
2016 was the year where it felt like everything was cursed
I was apart of the masses -
A flower made of fire
Was consumed by fear
And went up in smoke.
"Kick down the walls,
Open the window,
Let the light shine in.
Embrace the way your soul repeats,
'You are unique.'"
Pent up emotions
breaking their seal
dripping from the sky
lit magenta, peach, purple.
Diverse like me
I don't know why you're so upset
Do you need some attention?
Maybe you want some affection because your mind is conficted with thoughts that can go on for distance.
I don't know why you don't think you're beautiful
Elated and euphoric as I read 23/25 at the top of the page
YES YES YES
Worthy and filled with pride
Momentarily
The shortlived victory is overshadowed by the BURN that fuels and torments
Our principal announced it on a Tuesday,
His somber tone echoing through the hallways.
The boy I loved was never coming back again,
Something awful had happened to him.
What hangs from my eyes as
I look down?
A crystal pendulum spinning
in the sunlights rays.
Maybe it spins in fear of something new
being on the other side of it by the time
Tears in your eyes you ask me "Should I have left him the first time?"
The car is silent.
You found the pictures on his computer
You are scared silent.
Should I be more conscious
of the rough brick pressing up
against my back?
Is my insignificance rooted
solely in the pavement of
downtown Corvallis?
Warm hello's can't pierce such
Like a baby, my first steps are difficult.
I fall countless times.
There are bruises and wounds to remember the struggle.
And like a baby, I keep trying.
Like a baby, I look ahead and find Father waiting for me.
Can you, for sure, say that you are alright?
I, with utter ease, can say no I’m not.
I am like a porcelain doll, fragile,
I am easy to break, easy to bend, helpless
Did someone put me here to live
or did they put me here to survive
I live around people that don't have morals
but know the means of surviving
many of them strive to do good
My thoughts are killing me,
my dreams are haunting me.
My body is covered,
with hundreds of scars.
My eyes are liars,
and so is my mouth.
My body disgust me,
I'm repulsive to myself.
I saw fateful stars,
Not twinkling with lullaby dust,
But searing, scorching, bright
with meteoric impact.
I stumbled into black,
a murky, messy plight
of blurry edges, hollow words.
Alone I sat waiting for death
Blood dripping from my veins
Fading I wait for my last breath
Pain? yes pain that explains
Morning how dreadful it seems
Another fail another day at play
Ghosts linger in the crack between the door and its frame.
Now, you should know that they’re hard to tame.
Not every one of my demons is the same.
It is madness;
It is a cigarette I call badness.
Ruthlessly pushing through the mob
In want of space to breathe.
Helplessly flailing in the openness
In search of someone to grasp.
Memory of all that was gained
And lost.
Just a little longer please
This thing called life is moving too fast.
I can’t keep up
The current held me back somewhere along the way.
NOTE: Before I continue, I want to infom my audience that my poem was written after seeing my father for the first time in 9 years...
When I write down every word,
the pounds of weight you put on my shoulders continue to drop.
How could I be demanded to respect but be disrespected?
Still images of the past,
sinking into time,
it was once a vast land of minds and acts,
until a stranger called west stole her soul and heart,
beautiful was her mask,
made from mahogany's bark,
A year defined and caged by a measurement, and constrained by time, could never explain the revelations, or cover the cost of my silent frustrations.
The lifeless air hung around my neck like an old scarf in the cold. Drowsy eyes of toddlers bundled in layers of coats with their Sunday best underneath, walked sluggishly in the path of their parents.
Angels sweet melodies
Soothing the sensation.
The times go by through and through
Strengthening my disguise.
Lost and alone drifting through life
Nowhere truly found.
The dark was drowning.
Suffocating.
Panicked breaths filled the silence within my days.
A rock weighing down my lungs,
A constant pressure on my shoulders.
Losing you felt like my heart was ripped out my chest,
I cried for many days all those sleepless nights,
constantly trying my best,
to stay strong and fight.
Wishing you never left,
wanting to bring you back,
Turn the pages and you’ll find
Me.
Just get lost in the
Words.
You’ll find my voice as loud as
Lions.
For all the times I’ve been
Misheard.
Broken down like glass before
You.
lowly hanging my head
walking slow and somber
easier may be dead
for seemingly no cure
except music as it rings
sweet harmonies of life
and it sings
away all my strife.
Lets think of this as a poem rap song:
I used to be the type of person who use to be a mess.
My reason for that was because I was depressed.
A breathless beauty forms in front of my eyes
the cotton candy sky illuminating onto my skin
the clash between red, orange, pink and purple mix together as one
as if they were in love and never letting go
She is a sly one
She comes in and leaves with a trail behind her
Sadly only few will see her trail of blood
She comes back ten times harder when we defer
It’s a mystery
Why certain things really seem to get to me
I wonder how and why it lasts this long
It’s repetitive and like an overused song
A night's slumber is so endearing,
To the point where morning can be fearing,
But when the sun begins to rise in the pink sky,
My beautiful array of dreams begin to wither and die,
I walk 15 minutes to find you when I'm sad.Though it's very rare I find myself feeling this bad.In cold weather, I'll find you, while I'm jacket-clad.If I find you taken by another, I'm rather mad.
I watched her,
I watched her fingers untangle
from the struggling grip of my hands.
I watched her eyes grow in hate and sorrow
from the shattering promises
People been telling me
it seems like I don’t give a care
truly like
I don’t see your flare
its there trust me i made it to withstand the largest blare
I'm not where I should be.
I know I'm not what I could be.
I never knew how cold I could get
without the drugs and people helping me forget.
Looking at the bottom of empty bottles.
Wow. Sinking down into the hole again. Feels a little painful but what else is new? Cuts, bruises, burns line my once beautiful skin. I just don't know what to do... You gave me a smile when you walked away while I cried and screamed for you.
I live and get hurt and I learn, I live and get hurt and I learn, I live and get hurt and I learn, I live and get hurt and I learn. You learn to love to hate. We hate to learn to love. You learn to love to hate. We hate to learn to love.
Life's a roller coaster,
filled with highs and lows,
but some things,
you just have to let go.
Depression's a battle,
one I have fought,
I know it well,
but I'm not an afterthought.
There's so much in my mind
that I don't understand,
things that I should let go,
instead of burying in my head.
Beads of pellucid sweat
mixing with briny tears
painstakingly white knuckles
cracking, air catching
In pockets of charred lungs
The perfect crime
The way to
Grab someone
Kick them or
Cut them All without moving
Just by uttering a few breaths
Filling the air with poison
The evidence is never obvious
Dissapointment.
Nothing but regret.
One night stand,
Nothing but a sweat.
I was your seed,
You gave me no lead.
Feeling boundless on bareness.
But the carlessness was always there.
Over here it's a bad place to live,
all the deaths, people can only forgive,
everyday there is shootings,
no one can do anything about it but mourn.
Now a days people are negative,
Profile: Hello!
I enjoy literature, comic books,
And nerdy T.V. shows.
I like to swim, dance, hike, and draw.
My name is Ariel.
lost, between reality and a dream, wondering what life has planned for me, constantly trying to reach my hand closer to a dream, that never seems to get closer no matter how far i reach, maybe the dream was not for me, or maybe i need to keep foll
I try to focus,
but im just too hopeless
8 planets in the universe,
I'm on the coldest
The things that complete us,
seem to leave us broken
i got distracted from success
To smile well depressed is such a strange feelinglook to for help yet your external emotions are concealingalone once again
One day is all it takes
The first stages are always awkward and great
You never smile this much...
Suddenly
You never frown this much either
You thought he was it while he thought
Maybe I was too innocent,
maybe i was too stupid,
maybe i was too excited,
But who could have denied that i was in love..
Love which was beyond your cruelty
I have lived our time again
and again
searching for blame
But it wasn’t your fault or mine
it was the entanglements of fate and
Hunger
She tried everything in order to fill the void she carried inside,
Sweets, pastries, snacks,
The black hole that her enemies,
You thought that there was no other way
You want to die and go far away
I can tell you were never fully understood
So you stayed away for as long as you could
But Im going to change your point of view
I'm stuck.
I'm stuck in the middle.
In the middle of a fight I never wanted part of.
A fight that shouldn't involve me, but it does.
I hear the yelling and threats and oral abuse.
Life is more than a hungry stomach and hearing gun shots on the corner of the block. Life is more than a fatherless home and family abandonment.
Reading excerpts of his cherished poems,
As the ocean breeze fluttered past our noses offering the smell of salty water,
He taught me many lessons.
Empty page and the space isn't going to fill itself, plus I know too many thoughts with no outlet is bad for my health but it's so hard nowadays trying to express how I feel, wandering through life trying to separate what's fake and what's real
Will the sand stop the ocean
From devouring all of me
Can I be counted among the broken
Or am I forgotten and left unseen
I’m just a kid
Always have been, always will be.
From the creative spirit I display
To the tests that life has to offer
I look back now unto it reflecting,
Quite a journey it has been from that place,
Standing firm and strong, Life's blows deflecting,
The torment and labor none can erase,
The aching head and longing for the sky,
When I was a young age of
four,
I wanted to understand why the other kids could run
faster and l o n g e r
than I could.
When I was
six,
I did not know why the big, bad
Darkness swallows me whole,
and spits me out into a blue room
trapped in can't figure out how to flee,
surrounding energy is melancholy,
so the tears begin to fall down,
the mask slips off my face,
I am not a poet,
And when I do I try,
I put myself down,
And give up every time.
I am not a poet,
Though I would like to be.
I find I can never express
My feelings accurately.
Poetry is the art of distillation
Of any instance, feeling, or experience
I wish I could use it
For the sunny days and smiles, but instead
It takes me through the hardships
The days when my
The house, dark--locked doors
behind which secrets floated.
My emotions were like poison
to me and all others.
Weak, debased,
I turned to a place
where no one judged;
Every man is a poet in his own way.
Poetry is simply the cry of a heart that wishes to be heard,
its the sigh of the painter,
its the sweat on the brow of the athlete.
A silenced voice, with thoughts that are screaming
My pen bringing fire to a forrest that's been bleached
I never thought much of my outlet for writing
I'd pullen the plug so many times
Like all things, I suppose this too must come naturally
Vulnerability was a real fear before this
With a kiss
Rapidly and magically my elevation
Completed
Disbelief and
I am unsure….If it is this place. Or if it these people Or these people and who they make me become ----- I can feel the breathe clinging to my lungs reluctant to make its escape; into an environment that is somehow less hospitablethan the on
Sometimes I want to give up
When I feel this way I want to hurt myself and my mind wanders off to maybe suicide, but then I think on it for a while and think "No, better not do that."
I am a poet.
As the words dash from my beautiful mind, I Know it !
Poetry is a way to find oneself, OURSELVES, and myself.
words spill from my lipslike a water fountain in crimson red
there is so much i want to say, alwaysmy tongue like a reel of film
ripped down the center;writing makes me feel unique
When I see you burning
Tears fill my eyes
Crying children and mothers
Make my heart bleed
Blood covered bodies of youth
Burn my soul
Valiant guerrillas fighting to liberate you
Keep my spirit high
I'm not a real poet.
I 'm just a broke college student,
Looking for an easy way to get out of debt.
I'm not a real poet.
I just want to avoid taking out loans,
My star. My vice. My right.
It’s sweet breeze of calm draws the sullen and weary to its flow
Its unparalleled movement rescues the fallen leaf from its place of disparity
How can something be so refreshing,
Yet so draining?
An escape,
Yet a prison?
Monsters under the bed.
Monsters in my head.
They jump as if to take flight
To be free from all that carries them down
With the wings made from the wishes and dreams they held within
They falter, their hope gives away
They plummet towards the black abyss below
The screaming, all night and day,
I open my eyes and there's broken glass everywhere,
Grab the baby, run away,
Do I react in violence? No.
Forced to write, the pen to free..
Overuse, Overthink, Oversimplify
The degree to which we suffer is surely to the nth
Forced to lose humanity, when I can't pay my rent
Swear to god
Anxiety is irrational Nana, but you can't understand can you?
I cool my impatience like an ice cube on my tongue, remembering she's no longer young.
My despondency wraps it's arms around me,
Motherly embrace,
I cannot walk away..
My pathos leading me to beautiful mourning,
Waves of melancholy spreading all over my body..
I cannot walk away.
Poetry is where my heart soars amongst the clouds of grace
and roams free in the forest of elegance.
Poetry is where my heart takes a break from the chains of hopelessness
and escapes the torturing pain of reality.
My great continent Africa.
Africa is so rich and big.
We have oil, diamonds, and gold!
Europe, Asia, the Americas joy!
They want to take our riches.
Yes I am one of the biggest continents!
R.I.P Mika Lucas...A beautiful girl is now gone.I hope her pain is no more.Mika a marvelous name,so smart and kind.One of those people that will never leave my mind.Her greetings every morning and afternoon, made my days more lovely.I'm going to m
A part of me died a long time ago,
no funeral or flowers,
and no kisses goodbye,
I felt the hole it left,
like a knife plunged in my chest a million times,
my identity lost,
It's rather dark here.My mind is a place no one would want to be.The scary scorpions in my head are near, getting bigger and creepier and undeniably clear.I wish they would leave, leave me in peace, so I can see the stars, it's rather dark in here
The floods of demons are snickering, enjoying what they consistently do.
Battering, bruising, and cutting up my skin and confidence.
However, my skin is old and tired of it.
Marvelous words of positive affirmations, are hard creations to make for yourself, when your mind and soul are becoming impatient with your self hatred temptations.
I saw you on a crowded street,
And you seemed to stand alone.
You're smile hid the scars to deep to ever seem to show.
Your laughter made the world stand still,
And hearts begin to slow.
Pens are marvelous creatures, aren't they?
They live and breathe and bleed.
Oh, yes how they bleed
All over pages, endlessly marking history,
It's not just pen and paper
and words on a page.
It's freeing your heart
from its barbed wire cage.
It's the feeling you get
when you can finally breathe
after drowning for years
I instill fright inside the young boy during the light darkness of the night.
I engulf my prey while he lay, struggling in pain,
unable to sleep, eat, or converse with anyone.
The Fallen Angel is Dying-- The pain comes in strides
Chained down to Earth, left alone; tortured by her other side
Her wings--they droop to shame, as sound stops and begins
As if you care!
You watch me in pain several times
You watch me cry each time I’m sad
You look me in the eyes and tell me the worse things I never imagined to hear from you
As if you want me!
Being young and homeless having possesion
But dont own shit the folks that put
you out on the streets hide behind a good class
I can see thru a good glass what lies behind and beneth the classification of help is help
From sun rise to sun set
Show how big you are
By not showwing them
Tend to and then don't try all the way
Grow more and dream even bigger
aim high and miss it
Turn down and then look up
Your Little Girl
Slowly grows up
happy and beautiful
thinking she will grow up to
become a smart and talent girl
Each and every time I pick the pieces up.
Each and every time I just want to give up.
My will power takes a beating each and every day.
I’m not sure I can carry on If life continues in this way.
I toss words across an expanse
filling it with sound and nonsense
To push away silence
and pain
All the gunshot wounds
bloody arms
I thought I was a sociopath.
There was something missing in my mind,
No feelings, no time,
The tears that once created streams
were now damned by these things.
Just write.
Where were we in that past life?
This is no run of the mill fast life
Getting up around seven and getting back past nine
Enough to make the irrational type
Practical
“X Marked The Rocks”
The X in excellence seals your footsteps.
Stones trustworthy acts of strength.
The “King” was Our Shepard
Crown thee majesty honoring such grace.
All of nature cried,
The day my beloved died.
No words,
Not even from the birds.
The day my whole life became a lie.
I’ve always wondered how wonderful the world would be if we all just embraced each other
A hug for one person to another
A kiss to make somebody’s day
Some loving to make the pain go away
What is heart mind and soul,
Light a match
Heart of coil
Do she even know
It burns,
Mind of confusion,
The battle of insurrection
Fears and Substitution
The wall of protection,
There is someone inside my headIt is full of rage and carnage With claws as hard like leadMy mind just can't seem to manage It whis
Cue drum line please, as I march off to this war
I'm fighting against myself, but I'm much stronger than before
But no I'm not perfect, it will still be a challenge
Me against myself, but there's still an imbalance
A camisado
A shadow
Like an assassin at night
A voiceless voice that attacks your conscience with insecurities and fright.
Mood swings become the perfect game of tug-of-war for emotions,
I'll express this today
That beauty in the world comes to me seemingly so quickly
At least until I feel like everyone in the possible known universe is ticked at me
I'll express this today
What a world we live in
Where beauty is confused with worth
Painted masks perceive perfection
Without uttering a single syllable.
What a world we live in
Where anger burns and scars the heart
Upon thee arrival of opening heated pearly gates,
Patiently I waited for another chance to make a cool escape.
The shadows and a violet pen provided me with a plain face,
You creep into my mind
And it's like I can't be sane without you.
You kept me high all the time.
Your touch was so intoxicating.
All I want is to have you in my arms again
And hear your voice next to my ear.
This was never an easy walk.Just look at the scars of my heart, and they will talk.They'll show you my countless faults.My countless falls.
Haikus
Inside, there is war.
The heart and mind, They quarrel.
Like kindred beings.
Fell between the cracks.
Shortcomings, All too common.
Words only mean so much
They mean nothing without action
Time will pass on
And unexpected events will happen
Day becomes night
Tides will turn
Moments will simply become a memory
You were just my brother
Every morning as I'd get out of bed
Mom and Dad in the kitchen holding coffee mugs as they shake their heads
"We've tried everything we could"
"The rehab hasn't done any good"
Two things I can't deal with A broken heart and a new addiction The man I loved abused my trust And at the moment I got zannies in my system I'm just a young female trying to make it In a world where if we don't got it we're going to take it The
I like green apple jolly ranchers, and I am different
I told them
I yearned for him to pick me out
To see me as separable
Identifiable
I did not enjoy the glorified blue raspberry
Hell no
I refuse to stand here without you
Choosing to move forward knowing we'll find each other again
Here I try attempting this impossible task
But soon realizing there is no need
Society Doesn’t Allow Us To Love
Some people have to hide.
So much they have broken down and cried.
Held it all in all the time.
I have a love hate relationship with swimmingIt seems like it’s up and down every weekBut my tolerance has grown over eight yearsNow I know how to deal with it.I spend so many hours in the poolAll the tears and disappointing memories fadeWhen I wi
Every right is also wrong,
every road is hard and long.
Nothing ever has an end,
it simply twists and snares and bends.
Continue.....
Continue to live
Continue to process
I dont remember how this began
When did I go wrong?
When did I decide my bed is where I chose to stay safe?
You
I hate you
And yet I’m supposed to love you
I want to be rid of you
Yet I never will completely
They threw rocks
at me
today.
They smirk and
snicker as
I
walk among streets
and alleys
home.
do they not
know what
they
What if I were to give my passion to thee?
Unbound the chains to these iron gates and watch it flee,
Overgrown with vine and darkness I cannot break free,
I have always known why you could not see me for me,
When it comes to struggling
we know nothing. we are dumb.
Some are silent. Some are screamed,
but it is rarely what it seems.
While a child starves at home
another starves alone, A victim of the numbers.
You be provoking this angerwhen I simply wanna smile,I know you believe that the whole world is against usand there is no justice, but maybe it’s just usI don’t know what has gotten into me
Old pipes
Portable stereotypes
Old technology
Keeps dripping tautology
Snap , snap photography
I'm here on the side of the road
My camera ready to re-load
Another add-venture
I am looking at the wall.
Too high to jump,
Too dense to walk through,
Easy to go around.
But I can't make myself go around the wall.
I let myself stare telling me,
"You won't ever get past this."
One thing that was said is that I was wrong
Not understanding why this came about
Haven’t heard something like this in so long
Saying all these things they wanted all out
Leaving behind a title,
Breaking the barricades;
Calling out for revival,
Hurling out hand grenades;
Fighting for survival,
Peeling off charades;
Waiting for avowal,
I write this poem for the kids with three textbooks in their backpack everyday
because scoliosis is a term coined by the public school system
because of constant inactivity and what feels like early onset arthritis
I done went up the mountain and uh i even back slid became a product of my environment I hopeless
told God that I hope this life don't last forever
why am I still here I know that there's something better than the chedder
I am strong
-er than I was before
Curled up, shaking, on the floor.
Panic attacks that would make me weak.
Life is perfect now
it hasn't always been
see all of the problems started
around the time that I turned ten
My dad died when I was six
and then there came the coke
Mommy became addicted
Look at my life
All the struggle and strife
I deal with on the daily
Haters are spineless
Like snakes, scaly
My words never fail me
King Liam, hail me
grew up like a peasant
Here is to the women who hurt.
How their pain never told
though their stories ever sold,
intuitively resistant and bold.
The sun goes back down
Days turn a bit longer
Time passes much slower
Grey tinge fills the air
I'm stuck and defeated
Downthrodded and beaten
Torn and split on emotions
The emotions ruining though my head are empty and deprived of every little breath of oxygen.
Like a prisoner trapped within a frozen den.
With the emptiness consuming my soul, predicting the very out come of my life.
When the man I loved tried to commit suicide, I can only describe my pain as having my heart ripped through my chest with hands of barbed wire, broken-glass dreams and smoldering promises.
Clouds begin to creep
I can’t stop the seep.
The sludge and muck
Seizes me, I’m stuck.
My arms go first
Seized by shadow’s thirst.
Insatiable, unstoppable
Misery’s quite probable.
I am a foster youth, I am the voice of countless others
Though my lips speak, this is the voice of my sisters and brothers
The voice of those that are still silent in despair
I Was A Seed.
Planted in my mothers womb.
I Was A Miracle.
Who survived when they said I couldnt.
This device in you hands, good for so many things. But right now all you need is it's music, and the distraction it brings.
Don’t you remember that day
When I declared to you my love?
And you smiled, as you cried of joy
Thinking if God was witnessing from above
We promised each other eternal love
I went to school, I did my work.I tried and I learned everything I was supposed to.Now, here I am, in the real world.I'll be the first to tell you, I have no idea what to do.
In the crackling fireplace
I sit.
My blanket around me
with the flames
searing the tassles
to a sweet orange.
My eyes grabbing the red
sparks with a newfound ferver
look at the room
Like the sidewalk flower,
We develop from difficulties.
Struggling through cement,
We learn our lessons.
Like the sidewalk flower,
We overcome our obstacles.
Battling through bricks,
I'm Daniel at warFacing the tallest of the GiantsMy rocks won't reachMy voice muffled in the echoes of silence
People ask me why I'm bitter.
I say add sugar, sweetie.
People wonder how I stand it.
I tell them optimistically.
People say why bother with living like that.
I scream "It's my decision!",
There's so much of it, more than anything else
It's dominance is clear that it cannot be stopped by anything, even itself
Time stands alone, for itself is all it needs as we are intertwined within
there is a version of you
that makes me feel the best i have ever felt
the version that is hardly ever seen
instead the many sides of you that frequent the surface make me
feel
Water rushes in,
Cracks form
Glass breaks at the drop of a pin
Will you ever be warm?
It is falling apart.
Everything crumbling like a cookie in a two-year olds hand.
Water rushes in,
Cracks form
Glass breaks at the drop of a pin
Will you ever be warm?
It is falling apart.
Everything crumbling like a cookie in a two-year olds hand.
Behind the filter are tired eyes,
Eyes bags so big, without the filter you can't help but notice it's sag.
I became the shelter, a safe haven, a building of four cement walls and a celling.
Study enough to survive the storms, and the battles outside of my doors.
Without a filter
You would see haunted eyes from
Memories of her childhood
Without a filter
You would see the fake smile
Starting to crack around the edges
Without a filter
The losses we feel
They overwhelm our very minds
They take our hopes and emotions
Dash them on the stones of reality
And laugh.
They laugh at our loss.
Second chances, second tries, fresh opportunties.
But I'm like a broken record, there's never a new me
Keep on doing the same thing, keep on fucking up things.
Always the same pain, the same stress the same ordeals.
I am from the unknown,
from the sweet nector and the pillow of comfort,
i am from sweaty skins all around,
(rasping,damp,sun biting my skin)
i am from the iris,
the oak tree,
birds here and there
Many different people like lots of different things.
Some like fame or TV
Others like rain when it goes
drip
drip
drop
down on your window.
But me?
I love words.
Not good enough?
What is “good enough”?
Will I be “good enough” when my hair is down to my ass
And my eyes are altered to turn blue from thin layers of magnifying glasses
For better never worst,
Whatever to see a new year.
Maybe another hurst.
Children always come first.
Facing your biggest fears.
For better never worst.
Dinner followed by dessert
Atop a tree sits a lonely little guy.
If only, if only he cries
To his only true friend, the dull gray sky.
Silver Lining
What good is this life if I aint gonna live
What goods a second chance if I never forgive?
watch me take advantage of the time that I got
I'm dying in the sea today,
a sea of memories, drowing in thoughts
of the past,
of things i can never change.
I wake from my sea of thoughts.
If I were to sit down
I am a yougin and you might find what i am saying is obsurd
But i need to speak up and say these words
My brothers and sisters
Look what has become of us
Living in a country where people are scared of us
Every answer is a lie,
Every night it all unfolds.
Only when I'd rather die
Is when the truth is told.
Every answer is one I hide,
It scares me more than you know
Because when I search,
Two months ago,
as I stared at my skin in the mirror, I asked myself why.
They told me it would be hard,
they told me the side effects might be harsh,
but they never told me
my disease would make me die.
My feelings are rewritten and straining
as I see others struggling to make it in life
The winds in my heart are changing
I remember when my opinion of the world was so loving, so unbending
anxiety.
Nervous tics
Fidgeting
Stomachaches
Headaches
Thoughts scrambled
shaking.
Hope it's not visible
Vision blurring
Is the smile convincing?
I Am A Shooting Star
Once You See Me I Amaze You
But By Time You See Me, Im Already Gone
My Existence Has Already Been No Longer
Dead To The Outside, But Alive In Your Mind
Without filters and false smiles I am strong,
Even if sometimes I feel I don't belong.
I sometimes smile to the sky,
and that in itself is enough to get me by.
I don't have many friends,
Mama, please pour some bleach in my bath water
I need to wash this dark stuff off my skin
I need to look like the ladies on the television,
Fair skin, and petite noses
That’s what’s pretty
A boy raised to be nothing but successful in life, educated and uneducated in what is his purpose, given the impression that he will be discriminated and intimidated by the real reality of the world , grew up on the southeast side of Dc not by ba
The bees are buzzing
Their meshed together hymns
Never Worrying
Never stopping
Strays drop to the ground
Or get swatted away by a great force
The rest don't slow
You bring me joy but at the same time pain,
You seem to dictate my life as you wish;
But you take it all for your own gain.
I flip your pages trying to retain,
At first glance you might tag me as the nice guy who always smiles and waves, but I think I give you some insight behind the mask today. Anyone who knows me close knows sometimes that smile is a facade covering up what's really going on.
High school junior and the pressure is all here
Where the adults tell you whether or not
Your future is clear
And all the numbers you've feared
For so many years
As we walk on this world
Full of anger and hate
Nos vemos nosotros getting dirty of it
De lejos venimos to look for a dream
Un sueño, that makes us forget what really exists
My head is hurting, so is my chest
I rush I choke to say what’s best
Enough about me, what about you?
It feels like cardiac arrest.
My heart is aching, eyes are stinging
Fingers tingle, ears are ringing
Behind the curtain
Beneath the skin
it's different than what's in front
Out for others to see
Eye contact feels like lasers
When people are staring, it feels like the world is closing in
Land of the free
Home of the brave
As long as you're white
And not transgender and certainly not a queer lady.
Who's hiding behind the locked door?
No one seems to hear me.
Who's behind the curtain?
No one seems to see me.
Who's hiding behind mask?
No one seems to see who I really can be.
Why are you hiding?
Let me tell you about the struggle
So worried about what people will say
Kids scared to tell thier parents they're gay
Meanwhile at the cemetary they just dug another grave
Redheaded girl, who sits and waits,
For the days of cold to be over.
Whispers of other student's rates,
On the always unnoticeable cover.
The pain she feels is always real,
First, you will get knocked down. You will fall short of glory at some point.
Pressure will be obvious. This big, intimidating world will seem to work against you; you may be held at the mercy of others.
Memories scald my brain.
They pull at the frayed edges of my emotions.
The sounds from them richochet inside my skull.
Screams and laughter ring in my ears.
A constant battle that is never ending.
So let's live,
And let love.
Where is this coming from?
My heart says yes,
In you I obsess.
And I'm losing my mind,
But I swear that it's fine...
Just commit me now,
A sorrowful painter never shows their work, wrapped in memories, connecting words unspoken.// Aching with attention, craving another stroke of the brush, gently gliding over rough canvases.// Leaking misery the paint drips, along with your
I am not who I should be,
The way I put the me in mean,
Hurting those who on me lean,
Lord you must help me.
Being this way, a jerk
To those who look to me,
Lord please set me free,
When the ocean is far awayand the wind is full of sand instead of salt,I dive back into the green pools offorgotten peace in your eyes.I swim through lakes of cheap vodkaand expensive memories.
Where I'm from there is no such thing as loyalty
U either fake or tryna manipulate to get to the money
Betrayin family just to say they thuggin
Robbin the elderly just to say they hustling
Don’t all people hide behind curtains?Ones that appear physical, invisible,Some even palpable.
Watch him go!
The silly thing
The pitiful, puny, ugly thing
Six grabbing
Appendages
Crawling up the table leg
The shadow of my finger
Chasing him
Scramble home,
little bug,
What curtain? Where?
Do you mean my shower curtain,
Torn from the wall ages ago? Oops!
Continue on Your Journey
This journey is indeed hard,
There are days when the tears rush down my face
And people ask me: Will you cry me a river ?
Ive been MIA for days
and when i came back
i got knocked sideways
i had to follow they're rules for days
so i left
and when i came back again
everything was a haze
so i got up took a left
Breath
your head is still above water
Shh, no reason to cry
the monsters can't get you anymore
Scream
that's right,
Yell
anything, just don't fall victim
you're stronger now
I rap like a rapper
I Po et like a poet
My mind is abstract
But who really knows it
If I am a box
A square full of roses
Concealed to the world
Who really knows it?
I know well enough
That I am not alone
But nevertheless my resolve is to never give up my secret
For if ever I did I would certainly be stoned
Or forced to pack up and leave their home
To show my own soul
My testimony, my story
Is not full of fame or glory.
I'm just a student trying to make it through the day
Just a young adult whose only option is to pray:
Pray for my family that is too far
Nobly and drab,
heavy curtain
hangs toward justice.
Righteousness hides
primitive desire’s
poetry read to the meter
of heartbeat.
Sacred service, trust,
churning guilt at the ignition,
You sit there quiet as can be
You scroll through your phone or maybe searching for a tweet
But when you look up and I look into your eyes
I see no fun
But your smile radiates more than the sun
All my life I’ve been taught one thing
And that one thing was to be tough
Ever since I was a tiny human being
First, bad words and fists. It was never enough.
Having a childhood in my house was never easy
I've grown up around strong women. To be specific, I've been surrounded by strong black women.
That doesnt make me strong though
This made it hard for me to find myself. I wanted to be like them
How difficult is it to simply be ourselves?
At a young age we're all taught that who we are isn't enough-
Not tall enough, they say.
Not pretty enough, they say.
Not smart enough, they say.
I'm looking in on a life that's not mine
Its not even a nine
You got me jealous
Acting all over zealous
You're far from perfect as can be seen by your life
Very well groomed, always clean
Unkept, unshaven, and periodically obscene
Focused, driven, and ready to work
Distracted, halted, forever needing a job
I am the man with which you would share your life story
I differ in home than I do in school, in stores, in Restaraunts; in places out of home.
When it comes to school, the strong love and affection I Feel for my friends, my adoration, hide within my Bodies' boundaries.
Who gives a damn about the real me. Nobody
Nobody really cares about who you are
Whenever you talk to someone you are just speaking to their repersentative
People who try to be real are shunned
Behind the Curtain,
I am a mere man,
Trying to live life the best I can,
Just like the other 7 billion people on Earth.
Behind the Curtain,
I am a dreamer,
My eyes are the windows to my soul
What's inside of me does it glitter like gold?
Take a sneak peek just to see the real me
to whom I express my individuality
I am Marley,
The child of the long lost south.
You have never met me, but heard of me by mouth.
Bombarded with questions since the day I have arrived
“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”
I am just a woman who hides behind things.
I know one thing is for certain,
I am confused about my religion.
I am supposed to be a faithful Christian on a mission.
So why do I feel Muslim?
To God is my submission.
But I would rather call him Allah, Father, or Jehovah.
I am suffocating.
The elephant in the room is breathing all the oxygen
and my lungs have become too weak to function anymore.
The tiles of my veins are cracked upon the impact
Through glossy eyes I view the world
In colors to beautiful to describe
But all you see when you look at me
Is a young man with starry eyes
It's not like I haven't faced a crucible
Do you want to see me cry.
Or bleed heavily from heartache.
My mind gushing from a gunshot or stay here in my black box.
The world can be cold especially being raised in the ghetto.
People say in God we trust
but there are many times I continue to doubt
It bothers me much since He is the one I love
but with lost of hope and constant disappointment
My actions speak louder than my words
I move through the halls with barely a glance.
People won't talk to me, won't give me a chance.
They hardly notice if my appearance I enhance.
I am not a ghost.
I spend most of the day inside my head,
Have you ever felt like you're in the shadows waiting for your time to shine?
Have you ever felt like you're tumbling over, caught on the borderline?
My dear reader, I strived to be God's helper.
I engaged myself in the conflict against evil,
Yet, I could not conquer my own vice.
I strived to be the light of the people,
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Ugh, time to get up.
Sprinkle. Sprinkle. AH!
Hot water gone again.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Burned my breakfast.
Lovely morning, right?
The C word is loud
It is always in my face
So I venture off and find my happy place.
It attacked at my back
Fear crippling, questions surging
My perspective shifts and memories begin merging.
Believe me when I say that mothers know best,
now I'm homeless and pregnant with very little rest.
She yelled "Stay in school. He's nothing but trouble",
but I was inside my love-filled bubble.
The man who you are suppose to be able to trust and love turns out to be the one you have to look out for the most.
The man who was suppose to love you and never hurt you turns out to be the one who can't be trusted.
I Bet you don't know how some of us youths are trying
Consistently attempting to filter and rebirth the "already drugged" mind
whose views are confined to material wealth, sex and guns
The strongest man endures the darkest days
But to endure does not mean that he simply
Takes
And
This is my final prayer,
That someone will care,
But it never seems to change
Because my mind is really strange.
It's dark inside,
All my pain and demons hide,
Maybe one day you'll see,
Stand tall, speak with grace, never crumble because I am going to win this race.
I may be the tortoise and you the hare but look who finished the race with breath to spare.
It's been another long night
With another hard fight
That I endure alone
Because so few know
And nobody cares
That my skin tears
When I'm left to myself
Because there is nobody else
The silence screams through the noise
The blindness crawls through the images flashing by her eyes
The anger hides behind a mask of smiles
The tears stream but they can't be seen through the look of laughter upon her face
Alone, we wonder through thick of night,
Stumbling through the under brush that binds our ankles.
The journey is too much for the body, emotions, and spirit.
A heavy groaning escapes the lips,
Every child reaches the age
When their thoughts need no consent.
When hearts twist and writhe,
Simple encounters evoke torment.
Days pass as moments,
Slipping through the tightest of grips;
I am the glass vase you forgot to fill
With flowers last week. So let me be cold,
Let me be beautiful. Let me be clear.
I am the drawer you left open in your
Rush out the door. So let me be misplaced,
A never ending line of bills
Needing to be paid at the end of the month
Debt is in the trash bin.
Poverty is as stifling as the Miami heat on a Summer's day.
How can I make it?
How can I go on?
I am a good person. Im telling myself that because I know I am a good person. Well, to be self-honest, to keep the truth before my tired eyes: maybe its just my appearance. My persona is often oppressed and affected by other personas.
In life we all make mistakes.
We all try to make it somewhere and do something.
We want to be accepted in our respected communities.
Though, it's not that simple:
We must climb the mountains,
Walking through life with no blinders on
no tunnel vision
trying to reach my goal but this world is is cold and such division
much derision
caught in the valley of decisions
This war has no glory
There are no heroes
No knights in shining armor
No sides
Just yourself
You hold the sword
And you hold the shield
You can ride off on your horse
I pour my thoughts onto pages nobody will see
My tears soak the pillow and dry on my sheets
Any marks are left to fade or hidden from sight
This battle is invisible for it's a lonely fight
Heart beating out of my chest
As it calls to me
I cover my ears but the sound increases
It never leaves
Always an echo
I try to hide but there's no escape
It follows me
City looked so pretty
I hadda put a ring on it.
Faces I probably will never see again
The darkness swallows her.
Before bussiness started, he had to test her
The best thing was watching you grow
I know that I have problemsI know it's not your fault.And that on every wound you ever hadI poured on saltI always say forgive meBut I never really change
These feelings that I've felt
Are not the kind that humans feel.
And most of these atrocities
Have spun me like a wheel.
I've lost hope for escaping
And can no longer see
You broke my heart when you sai goodbye
You made me cutt and want to die
You told me you love me and that you cared
You even got me a cute teady bear
I gave you my heart
And you tore it apart
i look at this blank page; or
I I try to see bend the words
Flowing from my own pen
I look and I won't see the the truth in the words I write-
I will look and I won't see that my mind is in a fight
Since the day I enrolled, since the day it began,
School & education have not been a friend.
Having to deal with the pressure of it al,
The studying general things that don't apply to me,
AS darkness takes over
my plea is to be free,
but all it does
is take over me.
I hope for a candle,
but no, it's to bright.
so instead,
I search for the right.
You are in my darkness,
I have never slowed down.
Ran afraid from it all.
My pain that I harbor
from every time I fall.
I have hid in shame
and have froze in fear.
I've even morned the death
I have never slowed down.
Ran afraid from it all.
My pain that I harbor
from every time I fall.
I have hid in shame
and have froze in fear.
I've even morned the death
Everyday I wonder why
Everyday I look into your eyes
I see what I don't want to be
Everyday I picture a dream in my head
One so profound I feel as if it can never be crushed
Tell me how could real eyes realize real lies, when you're the one who's always walking blind?
You wak with yor head held high in t sk wth such pride, and have the nerve to say that you're "the realest man alive."
It hurts to breathe and I growtired of beingsplintered ribs can holdno fluttering soulghosts of the past have takenrefuge in vacated space:and my bones creak with their wounded hearts
Don’t cry, it will only hurt more.
He just wanted to study
I heard the rumors in college
I never thought it would happen to me
He liked me.
No. Not me.
Man vs. machine, machine vs. man. How can one understand such struggle in this bubble we call the world. Airstrikes strike the air with such force, and now it's up to only us of course.
Walking up sorely and tired,
Not because I was beaten but because I peservered;
Chest high and admired,
Not by others but by myself revered.
Trying to move pass old pains,
So tired of playing the same sick games
Running around in circles playing whose to blame
We fight we fight you’re mad you go date around
Then when you aint happy
Im left to be found
Unable to socialize
had a hard time fitting in
Never seem to get noticed
even by smallest living thing.
Used to look in the mirror
and study myself hard
asking painful questions
I later regret.
The shaddows begin to appear,
the night kills of the sun.
The man walks, hopelessly,
he knows he is not done.
The wind never blows,
in his direction, there is no breeze.
I had met with an angel.
Here's what he had said:
Love me forever, and it costs but one small thing
a life, fleeting
a soul-less little thing
your soul I ask to bring.
I had met with that angel
Every day,
I fake a smile,
I look at the world through dead eyes,
I slice up my wrists,
And I bruise my thighs,
They beckon to me,
The colorful pills,
The nylon rope,
The loaded gun,
I sometimes ponder whether our souls simply conjure
the vices that mold our souls into monsters,
or if heavy hearts simply sink like lead
when life's violent seas bring disease and death.
Lord I love you
Lord i need you
"My blood has redeemed you"
That is all i can hear You say
But why save me when i continue to stray?
My very conception was Heavenly made
Why is it that when you lose a love your heart breaks,
if love is just a chemical addiction produced by our brains?
Why does it feel like your thoracic cavity is hollow,
I need a job that could change whole life
And maybe then will shit start going right
I wouldn't have to be worried about my moms
Or my sisters and brothers crying about the lights going off
The water and the cable
A stranger...
A feeling...
True or not
Days, Months, Years...
Friends, Best friends, lovers...
One day, eyes are on her
Slowly Slowly dissapear infront...
of my eyes...
My life is unusual I hate myself completely, if my life were a story I would just delete me
I'm dramatic nd mad Im never fully happy, my only emotion being anger, nd attitude nothing less than crappy
I miss the days where we could be carefree. No bills. No anger of any real sort. No stress. No money to worry about managing. But that was a world we lived in as children. Young and unaware of the World's true colors.
Some will never know the joy but only the end
they'll never see the light when the light has dimmed
Left and right I see a place to fall,
holding tight I suffer through it all.
God grant me courage,
God grant me wisdom.
To break this world's mighty wall,
I'll come running when you call.
The dream of a fool,
Many might say
We’re capitalist’s tools,
As we’re on our way
Surviving as slaves
On minimum wage at Wal-Mart or K-Mart
Striving for the day until we get the part
With blood and tears,
Our love was sown.
With painful years,
Our love has grown.
Though not always the best,
It has lasted long.
Every trial and test
Have made it strong.
I struggle to feel the rest I need, as I fall upon the groundI struggle to be the man I am, fighting those who hold me downI sit, I pace, I scream, banging fists upon my chest
as it swayed in soft circles dangling upside down from my ceiling fan, i watched through tears as the carnations wilted white petals penetrated the darkness of my room.
It was Just A dream, it wasn'y suppose to be reality,
but with gods blessings and my originality
i stand here with my own individuality. \
Ima soldier and a roller, who been through hell and back
Whispering smiles indent my thoughts as I walk through the halls.
Overthinking what's past and what's present has been known to ruin me.
Every move I make causes my conscience to stutter.
Back to the days when life had little meaning for us. Forced out of our homes watched our son die and heard our daughter scream as they were being raped. We saw the strange fruit hanging from the trees.
Don't leave "I love you"
She repeated
Look at how bright the stars shine for you
Its beautiful isn't it
It must be nice to be the new girl kissing you
Im forced to say the truth im not over you
It’s still so hard
To just wake up
Each and every day.
It’s hard to know
A simple life can
Make me feel this way.
I’ll put on a face
I’ll make believe.
Somehow I’ll be okay,
Don’t try to tell me I am not a number
Second born
First daughter
Number 17 on the little league soccer team
Fourth in rank in my classes
Shifting eyes, tight throat, hiding my face as I watch the class make fun of a girl for sharing her issues about PTSD
I cause pain
I cause distress
Take me out.
I cause heartache
And I cause stress
Take me out.
I fell asleep
And hoped I never would wake up
Take me out.
I walk alone, Or so it would seem; But there is One Who is always with me. I hear His voice in the wind; I can hear Him calling, And I hear His footsteps In the leaves falling.
Lonesome softly pounds
Whispers sweet sounds
Waits until day it ends
Paces and it depends
It asks for me to wait
Afraid I decide my fate
And I never make a change
Alone we never do gain
She awoke to hear him bid good morning
She slept to hear him say good night
But as the tide rolled in and washed him away
She faded into the darkness today
And time it screeched and cried
Patience is an elemental virtue,
Even as minds are writhing,
Mingling and beating together,
In a flawlessly mortal cadence,
Our bodies are entwined in a disconcerting dance,
Her beauty is snow storms, tucked away,
Tiny freezing snowflakes bottled in my fingers.
It comforts me, and breaks my fall,
And its sparks set my heart alight.
This girl is unique in perfection,
A dreamer with no dream
"reach for the stars"
what if you have no star?
no latitude or longitude to shoot for
head in hand I think
I think of twenty-fifteen,
I think of twenty-thirty,
Life is a struggle filled with like minds befuddled.All trying to find reasons to exist.Many are stuck smoking spliffs and drinking fifths,But they say happiness awaits to those who persist.Many have perspired.
People say mean things
they say I'm not good enough
say I'm ugly or dumb
sometimes they are right
sometimes I am dumb enough to listen to the hateful words
“Depression”
I’m tired of wearing the painted grin
That mocks me and all of my sin.
The pain of my soul and my mind
You say that I've changed
but you're the reason i'm so cold.
Get out of my head,
the fights quickly get old.
You've made me so heartless
something I knew nothing of.
Once you broke my heart,
Isolate yourself
then ask why you're so lonely.
Tell you how I think,
now I feel like a phony.
These poisons were shared
over and over before,
between you and I,
this darkness we tore.
I believed it was good to care,
But I didn't know there was a limit,
Everytime there was bad, I tried to be strong like a bear,
Caring too much is overwhelming, and now I believe it,
Because I said so,
floats through the mouth
Of every adult I know.
Because I said so,
Is a punishment because you havent lived life long enough to know better.
Because I said so,
The quiet darkness that
slipped in through the tiniest
slits and sat
growing and festering,
Has all but swallowed me whole.
Thick black curtains sequestering
the light with in my soul.
Such a beautiful soul
Flying free
Soaring over mountains
Limitless as can be
No one can bring her down
Such a beautiful soul
Flying free
Soaring over mountains
Limitless as can be
No one can bring her down
To write.
To build people word by word,
On a piece of paper,
Scribbled sentences that form from the mind,
To erase pain.
To call upon instances in which you have lived life.
To give others a chance.
At the end of the day, when the flashback startsThe brilliant rays of the sun isall I’ll remember
The splash against the bowl
The rush of blood to my cheeks
Elation. Control. Ecstasy.
Eat me up, I care no more
Parts of me go swirling down
Piece by piece by filthy piece
Fix my hair, fix my smile
I dream in black and whiteI bleed the color of your eyes
All I can see is your lipsGently glazing over mine
As the sun setI saw my rose petals in the flame
Usually I write to a rhythm or a beat
any time I need to speak on a problem that I meet.
But one thing in particular, I think is apt to change,
is how colleges will do anything to catch some change.
The life of light is sweet,
The still of dark is not
As I sit here and weep,
My heart begins to rot.
My life without a smile,
The life of light is sweet,
The still of dark is not
As I sit here and weep,
My heart begins to rot.
My life without a smile,
She stares out the window
Content as can be
In her long raven locks
A flower is propped.
Paint Stains her olive hands
She seems to care less
As they lay on her dress
You were taken too soon my friend
And I sit here and wonder
Why your life had to end
Like the rolling of thunder
My one regret is not responding
In the month of November
drifting through time
with no one to be
why cant anybody see me?
i do my best
for all to see
but no one
notices me
im in all the plays
and all the pictures
The Dark that cones, the dark that rises. The darkness that is the light, in all my wrong doing. If you protect me from myself, your protecting me from THE DARKNESS.
Seventeen
Im done
Im sick and tired
Of your shun
Its icy
Blizzardly
My price
Is misery
I suffice.
Im sick
Im done.
Youre not the only one.
My head, it hurts
The reflection I see is not me.
the person I want to be, is someone that I can't be.
the things I say and do are different then what I want.
I'm a person, who is lost.
can someone find me?
The reflection I see is not me.
the person I want to be, is someone that I can't be.
the things I say and do are different then what I want.
I'm a person, who is lost.
can someone find me?
I need faith,
for i am faithless,
the demons in my dreams.
the darkness in my heart,
there is no light in my heart.
what i don't understand,
Love you "say" but its not true.
Its just another word for "forget you"
Told me you love me, told me you cared. But why arent you standing here?
You made it up didnt you? just to fill in the blank.
Once upon a time I was just a little girlNot having a care in the world of what I ateBreads, pastas, and much moreI didn't realize how much I adored
Cloaked by shadows,Enshrouded in mystery,You stalk through the night. The book is open,The fate unwritten,You search for what is right.
She deserves all the world has to offer.
How dare I not give back to the woman that gave me life.
No matter the situation she was there for me.
We all deal with monsters,
Monsters in our heads,
Monsters in our bodies.
Depression, Scizophrenia,
Rymitoid, CRPS.
The monsters kill us,
Inside and out,
To the point of no return,
Broken pieces
Shattered heart
My life just seems to fall apart
But there's nothing that I can do
Hiding what's inside
showing what's not really there and
Leaving behind my feelings for you
Poem 1: Keep Calm and Don’t Judge Me
Love (Shake my head); when I was fourteen years I thought I found love,
Love like: Fairy Tales, and all that Fucking Bullshit people allow.
THE HARDEST TIME OF MY LIFE
Everybody try to understand
But I didn’t want you to
I don’t think you can comprehend
I don’t understand why it is so hard
For you to suck up your ego for 2 seconds
and let your guard down
You see I need some answers
because the pain is back.
It isn’t pulsating and waking me at 2:43 am
I stare at the mirror.
Ugly!
I blink back tears.
Fat!
I know it's not true.
Don't I?
I look fine.
Hidden under clothes!
People think I'm cute.
They pity you!
Work and more work,
Task and another task,
Deadline and just a continuing chain of things to do,
What's the use of it all?
Is there no such thing as a break?
Of course not.
Like a breath of cold air, i am lonely with fear,this pain i feel ,i just can't bear,it is painful enough to kill,ones fragile heart,Like a breath of cold air,to repair the heart,that was taken apart,by one careless words,by me taking out this bla
One person.
If my words can touch one person,
Then it will be worth it.
That's what they say.
But what if I never know..
What if I never see..
What if I never hear..
How my words,
He'll tell you he loves you.
He'll talk real sweet.
You'll think he loves you.
You're just a piece of meat.
First, there's denial.
He wouldn't do that.
He cared about me once.
In my short 16 years of life I've put myself into some crazy situations.
The cold harsh wind blows on your face,
Splashing on puddles.
Covering your face and letting the rain mix in with your tears.
You’re running to get away; you’re running to be free.
To those of us who carry our pain
because "just forgetting" isn't possible:
Pick one heartbreaking memory
Something you've suppressed for so long
Letting is out may threaten to destroy you
Write it down,
when it breaks it doesn't make a sound
there is no indication of its condition
it just gives in, falling prey
to the repetitive oppression
of day after day after day.
Little teacher in the front
I wish I could say what I want
Like how I’m tired from the night before
From all the things I’m expected to endure
Tossing, turning, sleep-deprived
Everything’s okay, mommy lied
It was dark, by my eyes and by my mind.
I stared blankly forward,
trying to gather my bearings that were scattered beyond my sight.
My head felt two tons heavy and my arms felt two pounds light.
She looks in the mirror who she sees is not who she is.
I envy the people beside me.
They have the newest, the latest, the flashiest,
I have the cheapest I could find
One person - that is All I am -
The Water welcomes me in
But I refuse to be Pulled under
Refuse - to be thought of as nothing
I may be One person -
I will go above the expectations - set for me
I feel it on the inside. I feel it in my soul. I feel this certain something that makes my body whole.
Thoughts are flowing in my head continously and confused.Is he even aware that I'm here?A smile he gives me in the hallway comes and goes.He talks with other girls the same way too.
I feel nothing. The world is nothing to me. I take steps, never feeling the ground below me. I touch hands, never feeling the electric energy flowing through our meeting. I speak words, that make no noise. I hear sounds, that have no volume.
Tears are streaming down his eyesUnder the desk lays a broken boyEmptiness contains an empty roomNobody asks the question why Under the desk lies the broken boyHe screams in pain
I haven’t met that guy that’ll turn my life around
Show me the light with every gentle caress
That has a smile that can warm a million cold hearts
The laughter of sweet innocence and happiness
When I was a small child I would dream
I would dream reams ha woul ake me far off,
the dreams made me an astronaut on a space ship
the galaxies were mine to control, i wold surf the skies
I wanna run away
Away from all the hurt and pain
Painful mistakes and irony misplaced
Crying................
That is all I know
Soon flowers will growin the deepest and saddest partsof you and you'll bloom
You will always have people in your life that test you
There will always be people there to knock you down
It may seem that all the negative people are stuck to you like glue
It's the absence of warmth.The familiarity of a hand upon your shoulder.It's departure leaving all but an imprint.
I know you think about situations and say,
"That would never be me." You say
I could never be that girl that's acting all fast as if she has no home training" or
Close ur eyes go under luke warm water an stay there for 5 minutes
thats how life was for me
'picture a darkness that is trying to take over
think of trying to scream
i cant hear
Sword bearer
truth wearer
covered in blood like Hanibal but I'm not a cannibal
I'm plannin to animal beats on all the flammable channels
Cant drop me with choppers or pop me with glockers
Sin
Cloggin my veins
Causing pain in ways I don't feign
to understand
understand me
I know its there
emotional connections lead to sin infections
The man is a rogue.
A gambler and a lover.
We lay intertwined,
Spent after a moment of passion.
‘Remember,’ he says quietly,
Tousling my hair with his fingers.
The ring on his left hand
Wrote this in the wee hours of the morning, sort of in a trance like state.
There's a quiet thunderstorm inside my head,
the thoughts strike across my brain,
neurons illuminate with light, transmitting more than what is visible by sight.
There's a quiet thunderstorm inside my head.
Am I the wrong woman because my hair is not silky or smooth?
Am I not the one for him because he can't tell me what to do?
Am I not the one he chooses because Im not from a foreign place?
Raw emotion pours from my soul.
Like a winding road, it cannot be defined by a straight line.
It turns, then rises.
Veers, then dips.
The weights I've chosen to shoulder
I bear not for my own intrinsic desires.
Regardless, I take another step forward
Relentless, Unwavering.
I pause take a breath reach in with all my strength and embrace the faith I look for his love and all his grace.
Sometimes you think your life is difficult.
School is exhausting, your crush doesn't like you...
I don't disagree;
High school is not as glamorous as it seems.
But you don't know true strife,
In kindergarten they start teaching you about lines, you learn how a horizontal line is like the horizon,
Walking on a thin line
Passing the warning sign
Where did I go wrong
On this road so long?
Walking down this cold road
With a tired and lonely soul
Oh, when did it come to this
The darkness and light struggles within,Can't imagine where to begin.Seeing through clouds of darkness and dispare,One wonders what to do from there.Bright eyes pierce the soft soul,
What do you do when there are no words to expressall the thoughts you've barely fathomed into a conscious
Thoughts are racing through her mind
When you ask her if she's all right
All she says is, "I'm fine"
You shake your head and reply, "okay"
The silence echoes in your brain
Writing all of my feelings
Will relieve me from all these teasings
That will make me jealous in life.
I just wanted a better life,
But yet, I won't be anybody's wife
They judge before they get to know me, they see an alien not a human being. I am a threat to society, so they say, yet all I ever do is stay the same.
Youth.
Innocent, playful, potential victim.
Seeing the real world first hand, scared.
we all have a calling in life
a purpose, a mission
lost in darkness, soon there'll be light
our future is based on our decisions
the journey will be hard
hold onto your faith
follow your heart
My anger pours out as I scream for some release.
I want to be gone and away from this beast.
Nothing I say is ever enough for you.
I cannot be content as long as I'm being used.
Set me free I repeatedly scream.
Despair and darkness have taken over my life
This is nothing new
I've gone through and put up with a lot of strife
What is one more day of hell when your life is a pit of fire?
You ruined me
Asian-American immigrant
Born in the East, thrown to the West
My best was all I could give
For the past five years I've accumulated fears
Fistfuls of tears that fill the tank in which I'm drowning
In this universe, there’s too much pain
From people to people, it’ a non-ending train
Trying not to give in time
Wasting is not a try
Good, bad, jealous, uncaring
First there was silence
Footsteps near my room
Soft whispers through the walls
Slowly the door opened
The coldness grasped my arms
It took me to that place
I feel as if I'm stuck in a cage, knowing my potential I bring myself to burst out in rage, this stage of trials is rough, as I lay under the rubble it is tough to see light, in spurts I try to raise with all my might but through the dust it's
I feel as if, if I let a tear drop my body would erratically shatter. To bite the bitterness away with coldness. To repress the said with utter and complete numbness. To shiver away the sense of alone. To drift off and never return.
Power, pressure
Fear and failure
Courage and cowardice
The root of all evil
It brings us down
It makes us rise
It makes us drown
It creates a town
Of misconception
Defeat,
Talking to my mothers graveUsed to be the hardest thing everI would just cry my eyes outThinking she would be back never
She isjust like everyone else,just like any other girl,liking her clothes and shoesAnd the silly things in life.But then she isn’t.
Ah school school school
Such a famous buliding block for success but all so difficult for the common student
Friendly to those whom meet your standards to the "T" but the source of stress for those who do not
It’s hard to be happy when life is so sad.
It’s hard to be glad when everyone’s mad.
It’s hard to love when there’s no one to trust.
Yes, I will be. Yes, I am.
Yes, screw you,
You were not there.
You were in prison.
Remind me, why your Mia self can be snarky,
Questioning me as if I tasted
Like dog shit.
I'm so confuse
alone and a mess,
I'm sitting in this fucking desk
staring at my messy grades,
there worst then a wreck
where can i reset?
These teachers don't help,
How do you expect us to conform to buying your books?
How do you expect us to rest well?
How do you expect us to eat properly?
How do you expect us to arrive on time?
How do you expect us to become great people?
I am not okay
And I don't have the energy
All of it's exhausting
It's not that I'm not trying,
But that I can't seem to care.
Notes and tests and quizzes and books
It's all just way too much
Growing tall around me, towering over my head
Like gentle giants, they are ancient.
In the vastness that is the universe, this earth is so small,
But I am smaller.
The blanket of night, which drapes itself over us,
Once a man that had to fight,
Spent all his life at a decent height,
He used his size to scare people away,
While his grandma had loved him every day,
Trauma: The Most Powerful Lecture By: Matthew Luz
LOVE: l.eaning into the smile of another
o.pening the soul for review
v.erifying that the more you give
I tend to find myself staring off into space
Dreaming that everything I pray for, falls into place
Happiness is what I chase
Hear the music, feel the base
Fears are what I face
Its time they be embraced
So this is me
Shoegazing
Always
An epiphany
And your garage rock sound
Does nothing to stir me
I just sit back
Watching the flow
Smooth over my edges
After everything we've been through
Everything we've seen
Our cries, battles, and wars
Our wins and our losses
This can't be the end, it can't be over.
The darkness consumed us and tore us apart
Light.
Now it's dark.
Knife.
In my heart.
Fight.
In my head.
Cry.
In my bed.
Shadows.
Closer.
Getting.
Older.
Falling.
Crawling.
Game.
Yo dad
You remember signing my birth certificate?
I bet you were so glad
What about when I first got my ears pierced
You remember right
You were there when I shed those tears
I know I'm your only child
And just cause I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm going to run wild
My head is on straight
You just have to let me concentrate
I know the world is a big place
The two magenta lines do not lie:
one look to scan the color,
another glance to determine its meaning.
Arm shaking in fear and
eyes jangling in the sockets,
searching for the unnamed.
I am staring at a blinking line
Wondering what to write
Awaiting for the words to be defined
Should my word excite or delight?
Should the depress or blurred with rhymes?
In childhood I learned, as the books I loved would say, that if you're pretty and it's earned, someone will take you far away.
Can a love be forever binding?
To return when others cripple
As thought of extraneous suitors sour.
Relic of the time that has tick tocked,
Souvenir of the heart's gift shop,
My hatred had deprived from the feeling that; I would never be able to feel what future they will have. That my father could start over and become a better dad. While I had been the test subject, and the 'mess up'...
The clang of a single coin in an empty tin
Alerts the man to sadly look down.
He fishes out the nickel
Holding it up to the light
Dreaming of what it must feel like
It was night to remember. I was about thirteen years old. I was a young child that thought knew everything in life. I specifically had on some black Nike shorts, white socks, Nike flip flops and a white t-shirt.
I pretend to drown in the bath.
I dream of hazy, pill-induced dazes.
But then I remember these kids.
These Salvation Army angels
have become true angels to me.
They came when I cried and have saved my life.
Crisp edges
Worn out words
Yellowed pages
Run-on phrases
Brand new thoughts
All over the page
I was once Daddy's little girl, his pride and joy, his princess! But then Mommy and Daddy split, and it was just Mommy, Sis, and me. It took a little adjusting, but we were still in our tiny hometown, just now on the other side in a smaller home.
A rush and it's over
Cars flash by, lights blink shut
Candles flicker, sound crashes along
And my head whirls with
The Speed of Light
A world that never stops moving
Never sits and thinks
Everything is shattered, broken, utterly and completely destroyed
So dramatically so, windows broken in to a million pieces, paint strewn across the floor
Yellow wall paper gone gray as if out of fear
My feet smell
And neglect appears to be my only friend.
People hang out and talk with me
We share only words
Though nothing articulate.
Yeah my brain's getting bigger But my skin's getting thinner.The test says that I'm a winner,But I'm not. Just tell me this won't last. Remind me it's just a classDon't tell me about the pastLeaders of our land And an online confrontationMeans I c
I do everyone else jobs without complaining
I do all these things for you, for what, tell me what am I gaining
I fail to realize that I have a voice that should be heard
The sun has peaked and at its highest
Here still I am without a clue to life even in the slightest
This window, fogged, scratched, and tattered
Tinted black, without a chance to flee from its fetters
Yesterday he showed me his bruises.
Pulled his sweater up and underneath his breast
They were scattered across his ribcage like a
Little patch of violet rorschach tests.
You can tell she has a heart of gold.
Outside it appears to be the opposite.
She refuses to rise above the struggle.
She refuses to take help from anyone.
It hurts me to see her stay stagnant,
My brother is a cheerful ray of sunshine on a sad, sad cloudy day.
Bubbling and overflowing with joy.
His big and shining smile is like a sweet M&M,
That lightens up the eye and heart.
This is my fight
My reason to write
Music is my voice
and the world is my audience
I'll speak my wisdom
through a riff and a song
and when the world turns their ears
I'll show them the wrong.
The rising of anxiety, is riding me, so privately and I can't seem to find my needs, so I just sit here silently, No sense of propiety, eats my soul so violently, I'm hiding from society, I'm fighting myself mindlessly, My mind blocks signs of pie
Here I lay in the hours of night
Filling my mind with all that I know
The image of an angel binds my sight
With frozen emotions embedded in snow.
Nine years in the past
Whether by first sight or not
At dawn she'll sleep forever,Rest in peace her tortured soul,Have you ever? Seen an angel without wings?"If you love something set it free" ,Is what I used to believe, Before I Let go of what I Love,
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
I take that back...
Hold your breath.
Hold it in, Hold it back.
Its not worth it.
not worth it....
You're not allowed to be a kid anymore; no more fooling around, be serious;
every move you make from here on out will affect the rest of your life;
I daydream of being something different, somewhere different
I wonder, I questions, I think and I have come to the conclusion.
Im not living to die, but dying to live.
you say you care as you stand and stare
into my eyes its no surprise
but underneath, yeah i can see
everything we had, it all went bad
we felt in love, but the stars above
they rejected, we were protected
Crushed by this endeavor.
Broken by my lover.
I once thought love was forever,
but time seems to end when we were together
Hit the rocks from the tide.
Dropped down from the vibe.
Life is beautiful. Isn’t it?
Not when your dad is a drinker.
That just makes it total shit!
I am glad my mom was a thinker.
She left real quick,
And met a much better man.
Daddy you made me sick.
If people were emotions you would be love, the way you look at someone and let them open up like an old cupboard.
What the hell is wrong with these peopleTreating others way less than equalWe have to fix this nowCause this isn't a movieAnd there won't be a sequelAn ignorant mind is feeble
My heart is pounding
And the sound of those words
Brings back the rounds of bashing and screaming…
Those lashings red like the blazing
Pain;
From all those times I held my tongue…
Birds fly awayAs the sky turns black and greyMeteors rainBuildings engulfed in flamesPeople are crazed, enraged, and others are afraidExpected to listen to what the TV said
Stop and Stare,
look around at all the trouble,
As we try and walk around as if we aren’t going through a struggle.
I try and make sure my school’s environment isn’t what other schools go through,
A dark gloomy place where there is know hope, just fear and exhustion.
Where food is substitued with screams of agony, fear, and hunger.
With know escape, but maybe there is one, your only way out is death.
A dark gloomy place where there is know hope, just fear and exhustion.
Where food is substitued with screams of agony, fear, and hunger.
With know escape, but maybe there is one, your only way out is death.
“This is just a portion of who I am.
I don’t think anyone can be explained on paper.
A person can be explained only by experience.
So maybe you knew me all along.
A troubled mind of broken thoughts
to ponder as you lay;
drowning in an open sea
of sorrow every day.
Console your thoughts with talks of love
and what you hope will be,
What if you felt an undying affectionAn honest, eternal, phlegmatic protectionIf love couldn't find you, would you go off and lookFor the one who'd complete you, by hook or by crook?
She looked into the mirror and watched herself cry
Examined her scars, and let out a sigh
She wiped her own tears; lifted her own spirit
She's screaming inside, where no one can hear it.
She looked into the mirror and watched herself cry
Examined her scars, and let out a sigh
She wiped her own tears; lifted her own spirit
She's screaming inside, where no one can hear it.
Almost every nightI dream of taking your handand bringing you tosuch fabulous faraway places.
All of my memories from before I got my glasses areblurryLike when you imagine a story told from someone else'spoint of viewOr trying to remember a dream you hadyears ago
It all started, one night at the bar,
In the front seat of a parked car.
Do you party, a friend said to me,
Not really, but shit let's see.
Glistening in the moonlight,
There lay the white lines of destiny.
Brothers
know that I care for you
know that you are my everything
know that the poison isnt real
When the words that spew from my lips
when the dark comes and encases my very being
Demons hide within us all
Echoing in the back of our minds
Pulling against the chains and begging to be let free
Everyone has demons
Some are just louder than others
Struggling in school,
Does that mean you should give up?
Just means that you have to try harder.
But why if you are afraid to tell others,
that you were diagnosed with
developmental delay.
I met Mr.Gun on a lonely night
Sad and alone
I took him home
I told him my story and expected him to laugh
but he didn't to my surprise,
He just stared at me
He seemed to understand me
My frustration is I feel out of place! I had everything I truly wanted and felt whole with what I had. Now I just feel like I have what I want and don't at the same time. I mean fame is becoming more and more of a turn down.
If there is a “man”,
Saying you are not beautiful,
He’s telling you lies,
His screwed up, twisted opinion of you doesn’t matter,
This morning I opened my eyes. I saw the edge of my reality;
It was all lies.
Those that smiled and said they'd help let me fall.
I then thought to stick to my ideas, but life took them all.
Black and white pictures tell a storyWell , lemme give you a little history on why i give my God the most high , glory ONE I've been through it all , made a couple mistakesNearly gave up because i was unsure of the later decisions i would makeSca
Isn't it strange,
How in the right context,
We can make people feel whatever we want them to feel,
With just a few simple words.
Our words can bring someone down as high as they can build them up.
It's time.
It's time to say goodbye.This is the end...the end of you and I.
I can feel it deep into my bones, through to my heart and my soulthat this life we've built for ourselves is over.
I search for the path of enlightenment. I search for my name. So many paths of life stretch on and on yet none are for me. Too many questions on this quest. To be an actor. A writer. A therapist. Too many choices, too many paths.
She sits in her room with blood shot eyes.
wearing her jacket to cover her lies.
her smile so beautiful, sometimes so fake.
Tonight another night, she lays here awake.
They told her to put down the knife,
Why do I always have to Think?
That I'm always on the edge and I'm on the Brink
Of falling off and landing with a Clink
I'm exploring my own mind and I'm beginning to Sink
Children’s laughter rings out
like a symphony of bells.
Halloween candy saved
for when friends change plans.
Hugs never failed to
make everything okay again.
The years grow old and grey
You placed your hands on places they should not go, you took the only thing left that a girl could give to the one she loved.
The way you make me
suffer is so sweet.
It makes me feel alive,
reminds me that I can still care
sometimes.
Wreckage and pain,
but none of us are to blame.
Why is it that I feel so alone?
Millions of people surround me but I know not of their presence
I am lost in thought and the world is now spinning backwards
My body is numb and rigid
It is said highschool is the best time of your life
Young and full of life.
Great memmories and stories can be shared from the 4 years.
14 years old and growing younger by the minute. Invinsibility is the only way to describe the pain she felt those days. She use to think being free was painful because all she knew was captivity. Could she be even more twisted?
You fall asleep slowly,
Letting your dreams take you in.
I don’t know what I did to deserve you,
But now you’re my everything.
I could spend my whole life
Falling in love with your eyes.
No one unsterstands the struggles of a girl.
Her image as beautiful as a pearl.
No one sees the problems and pain.
everything she try's so hard to maintain.
Luckily, every beautiful girl is strong and tough.
Everybody is a book in life, a book that has a story
While we are caught up in the writing of our own story
With us as the protagionist and everyone else characters.
Little ones march off to war.Conflict created by the largeYet those small forced to partakeTiny termitesBitty bugsMicroscopic mitesAnts soldiering on loyaly in straight-line formation
You confront me with your fears and all your selfish desires
But have you ever thought that your obstacles or hurdles you've compiled?
You never lifted a finger or even got off your ass
I’m disconnected- Out of touch
I feel nothing
I feel numb
I stare blankly upon the world in front of me
Everything is moving
Everything is alive
I feel your touch
For love I'd give my last words, but never speak them with a lie,I'd fight for your trust, but never force it from your side.For love I'd climb the highest peak, but only if it ended with you as my view,
shame fulled regretsburn holes in my hearti'm not sure where or when your feelings toward me changedits like when i see youeye contact between the two of usis illegal or a simple hello is wrong
There is something across the sea,
Something foul that beckons to me.
Will I leave?
I shall indeed.
To my Muse that beckons to me.
There is something on yonder shore,
As I wake up every morning, my mind rushes through many thoughts. Being a senior maintaining school, work, grades, and band isn't helping me a lot.
Teachers, we try.
We stay up all night.
The work you assign
well, theres a fine line
between hard and cruel,
driving our struggle in school.
We read, we write.
and we're still not bright.
This is my Race
From the starting line to the finish line
I do not run for anyone but me
Runnning is my life
My stress revealer
When I hear that gun shot
My heart pounds non-stop
Listlessly running. My heart screams and rattles my eardrums.
My destination was once approaching me steadily as I ran across shards of glass.
I tread on flowers as rain lightly caresses my face, but inside there is a
i am not perfect
perfect is far from my reach
i have not always lived
to the expectations you had for me
but
i am something.
i have something to show for all of this.
You say I don't know shit, but whose teaching me?
You say I won't match up to anything, but whose teaching a student that smarter than them?
I gave you my heart,
You pushed it away,
Kept denying it, and bringing me down,
Saying you were “leveling the playing field.”
Said you didn’t want to encourage me.
Pain.It strikes quicklyalmost unnoticedalmost unfelt.It settles in stages-A fear, a sadness,you shiver, you shakeyou feel the heart quakecrumblethe feeling sinks in
Mr. King, Mr. king.
You allowed us all to dream.
you may have gotten shot for your dream,
but thanks to you we all now have a shot to our dream.
My people are the "Dreamers"
You weren’t a waste,I was just a hassle.I wanted one taste,But I tore you apart,And I ruined your life.I caused my own demise,My apocalypse..
Today I'm making a path of my ownTo show the world that I have grownIn confidence and strength I walkThis growing path, nothing will blockI'll make a difference, I'll make a change
Day in and day out.
Everything's the same.
I can't stand it when you call out my name.
Day in and day out.
You spend nine days on a topic
I swear, I'll get a gun and learn how to cock it.
Each time I peered down the rabbit hole
I got a glimpse of a forgotten world
It’s dreamt about, but no one ever dares to go there
I wasn’t any better
Just an audience, a speculator from bird’s eye view
My only thoughts were
do you care?
I wasn't your average student
and you weren't the average teacher.
You saw something in me that you said needed to be brought out.
I couldn't bring it out.
Her condition is that she is a walking contradiction, for she is a soul burning with hot fire and coals born into the coldest winter ever.
She’s living in hell amongst demons yet some say she looks heavenly.
We were made to be different.
We were made to stand out.
But sometimes life is hard
And we just want to shout.
Sometimes we want to scream from a rooftop.
Other times we want to lock our doors.
I convinced myself that the world hated me.
I saw there's no good I could be.
In reality I was the only real bully.
I beat myself up and called myself ugly.
I saw that I all I ever brought was pain.
Torturous words seek the weak
The actions of a devil always intend to sneak
Yet again this woman took her time to evolve and speak
Actions speak louder than words
Pace.
not back and forth,
Forward.
i set a pace,
and amble steadily on.
there is a road stretched out before me,
long,
with no end
in sight
nor turns
Are we really this dirty generation,
or are we just aiming for what we
believe youth should look like – I can’t tell.
Why did we start doing drugs in middle school?
In a suburban community, no less.
Why can't I be smart like those that I see?Before I told myself--you have your own strengths you must not flee.
Birth a lottery, potential of life.
First glance, our ruler, now starting this strife.
Building foundation, brightest epoch, earth schemes,
First lessons roaring, rise above our drowned screams.
Obey.
The petals fall off the flower
And drop slowly toward the floor
Each second between the petals
I spend inching towards the door
For, I just can’t wait to leave
Though I wish that I could stay
My heart is heavy and my head is unclear
Waiting to Exhale
My eyes are watering and my soul is crying
Still waiting to exhale
My hands are trembling and my smile is weak
And I'm still waiting to exhale
There’s a part of me that loves.
There’s a part of me that hates.
There’s a part of me that rages.
There’s a part of me that balances it all out.
Love and hate are balanced no more.
Bags packed,
path planned,
turned to go ,
feet dragging.
Is my heart
ready?
A simple touch,
a warm hug:
keeps me
here with him.
Hand in hand,
Thoughts fluttering my conscience mind as I try to unwind from time spent making seven twenty-five and a dime.
How can I be at ease knowing that I have two mouths to feed and no one to take heed to the pain that is felt within.
Mosquitoes swarmed above my heads
That was my bed time story
Mother stood outside hand washing the clothes
At a quarter to ten
It’s okay you can ask
No we didn’t have a washing machine
Should I give up today
Just sit and lay
Give in to the dismay
Hopeless and homeless
I long for something more
No today is the day
I will not fray
I will be brave
I am so damn sick and tiredOf waiting for my life to mean somethingI want to do moreI want to be moreI cannot sit idly byAs my life slips between my fingersTime(I realize)Is a jerk with a gun
Never before had a boy tell me noOr tasted a melon, knew indigoNever before had I let love goEscape from me, flowers in the snow
Trees grew, skies blueLooking up is something new
I see a stairway leading-
Me closer to you.
It’s so high up.
And I can’t see the top.
But I will keep climbing.
Because it’s been a while since we last met.
There’s no possible way to avoid it
It dwells within us like loss
No way to escape a fucked up world
If i can capture the rush of the sea
Would it be easier to fall in love with me
If i can create lava from my hand
To melt the floor right where you stand
Would it be easier to fall in love with me
There was a little butterfly,
and someone told it not to fly.
So now that little butterfly,
is too afraid to fly.
Someone came along,
and clipped its wings.
With words,
Young and careless.Back when all was done was waking up and having fun.When five dollars seemed like a million bucks.When a kids meal toy was all you wanted.When it was easy to get over anything and smile.
The greatest struggle a man faces is himself.
How shall I describe man?
He is full of trickery, deceit, and lies.
He manipulates and twists the world for his best interest.
He is a hypocrite.
It’s hard to miss something you never really had, But that’s all part of not having a dad Don’t get me wrong, I wish he were here, But like always he’s no where near. He’d be angry to know I’ve lost all respect,
I'm down on my fucking knees
I'm crying out oh help me please
No! You stand on your own
Theres no one around they have all left you
Its your turn now its time to save you
A swishing, swallowing sea surrounds me.
The soothing sways of motion-
Rock my feeble body.
My breath grows short-
As muscles contract-
My middlefinger.That's what I want to give themInstead they want my moneyYeah, the money THEY let me lend
sorrow and pain
tears of pity
who shall regurgitate the best sob story next
set me free i beg
set me free
Say it to me again,
I dare you.
At first it was nothing.
A black hole-
Empty, no meaning.
But, you feed it so much.
It grows, being filled:
filled with anger, tearing souls.
This I had dreamed
future so bright
Or so it seemed
was it worth the fight
Loved ones claim they know best
forcing my soul away
little did I know it was all a test
begging my soul to stay
I sit there,
The tears fall,
My life is falling apart.
You pretend
To understand,
But I know you can't.
Shut up, I won't listen
I don't want your excuses
They're worthless,
You'll forever by a fixture,In my paradoxical paradise,Dancing across my brain,Like a pantomimical parasite.
Stopped.
Restricted.
Prohibited.
Thought flow, going nowhere.
No rhyme or reason
To the feelin'
of feelin' down.
Heart to brain,
Brain to hand,
Before, I had nothing.
An empty bottle of ink; no quill.
Endless. White. Space.
Before, I was silent.
a pin cushion to prick.
a bag to punch.
no sound, just space.
Before, my emotions hurt.
I'm a statistic because of my family.I'm the derivative of a broken home.A shattered background of instability and hardship defines me.The remnants of my childhood are just bits and pieces
He looked so sad in photographs;
He looked so scared, so lost, confused,
and yet he laughed.
That tentative half-smile, those distant eyes,
portray a struggle, wounds, and damage.
He feels so isolated
Clockwork heart.
Wind it up
and off it goes.
Don't get too close,
or it might explode.
Dormant, it lies,
therefore unscathed.
It one was new,
pure, whole, expectant.
Walking through the streets,
hear the past of faded other.
Listen to their words,
as they try,
but never guide you.
Our minds are such powerful things.
They are also very devious.
My surroundings are unrealistic,
Yet I am completely oblivous.
Wanting to be heard and wanting to be saved,
It's such a struggle.
How are feelings expressed? Through words? Through voice? Just one sound or one word can illuminate ones heart,
it grows and becomes a never ending cycle. It continues to grow until it spreads across the world like a wildfire,
Affixed on the sight of my final destinationMy eyes do not wander to the path beneath my feet.Though time has seemed to stopI travel silently onward,Forever aware of the coarse sand wearing away
All this suffering - it makes no sense
How one could live through such nonsense.
Minute by minute, the pain increases
As it rips through her veins like shards and pieces.
who do you think you are
be aware about what you are saying
gay bi straight we are all the same
we eat the same food we breath the same air
love is love no matter who it's with
At times life is golden. Made of sweet honey, a sunny afternoon, a smile, warm hugs, the perfect lemonade. When time floats, and the clouds sail serenely across the sky. Those are the highlights of life. The memories.
It gets real out here on these streets the pressure is real to sling crack and smoke tweeds
Higher education don’t seem to be no goal, why? When girls can sit up on the corner making money as a hoe
I am an American Born and raised
But Society tells me that my race was enslaved.
"WAS" I say
Because obviously we still are
To me we are everything but by far.
Woe is me,
I see Grammy getting older as she sleeps all day.
My mom stressed more than ever because she works all day.
Daddy is getting out prison in a few days.
Why do I have to go through this?
Why can't my life just be full of bliss?
These questions go through my head everyday.
I just want to break away,
Break away from my life,
Never leave my side and never let me go.
And I promise I'll do the same for you, as long as your love shows.
Yes, I believe I belong here.
Yes I want to stay in your heart, if I may.
Because the American Dream is hardly a dream
Working two jobs, a nightmare it seems
Bills upon bills, taxes upon taxes,
Living middle class, far from the wealthy status.
It is indeed true that
The makings of a man,
and indeed that the
Greatest of men
Are oft those of
The greatest flaws
And hardships concerning
Mental and physical
Armageddeons unseen
I wish there were something that I could say That could take all your pain away.I wish there were something that I could doTo show you just how much I love you.
Can you hear the screams and my dreams that are dieing slowly? My parents keep saying they did their best, that I can have the best, but that I can never rest. With sweat slipping through each follicle. Where are my brothers and sisters?
Running, running, running.
That's all my feet seem to do... trying to keep up with the fears of the Genocide.
Having Civil War in my own home in Darfur,
I look, search, look, search, look for a place to hide.
I've fallen from heaven, down upon the Earthback to the cold world, to the place of my birth
I'm sitting here at night, alone out on the streetwith little clothing on my back and no shoes on my feet.
I remember the things i would do just to get high.
A trade here, a borrow here, an i owe you one to its for something important.
Just to get high.
Meeting strangers, sex for drugs, drugs for sex.
Just to get high.
When I was born
I was given a heart
Not eyes, ears, or hands
to start.
When I was five
I was given hands
to touch and feel
my simple toy pots and pans
It seems like I've been here before
This spot
This grave
And I keep wondering why
Why did things go so wrong
When I thought they were so right
And you were right here
Next to me
Open up these swollen eyes
Looking up at ashen skies
Cold rain pelts my cheek
I feel as though I'm so weak.
Sorrow swelling in my chest
I need some to find a way, time to rest.
I follow my fathers footprints
In the sand on the beach
To walk like Him is difficult
His prints are just out of reach
I leap to the left and right
Like a skier on a slope
Sheila was the biggest girl in fourth grade
With skyscrapers as legs and eagle wings as arms,
She looked down at the rest of us, and liked it that way too.
No one ever told her what to do. Not even Ms. Johnson.
"People from the Delta are the fattest, the dumbest, and the poorest"That's what they sayWhich are all lies in my eyesAs you can see, I'm in good shapeIf you check my scores, I'm at the top of my classAnd I'm not the richest, but I am far from the
We live in a world where there’s so much hardship, pain, and suffering
We live in a world where there’s you and me but there’s hardly ever we
And when there is it’s because we’re fighting against an enemy
There is no greater felon, than that of the innocent bystander:
He who sees...
Does no wrong.
Does no good.
The person who witnesses pain and suffering and,
Feeling used and abused
With nobody on your side
Feeling loss and hopeless
With no kind of drive
The lack of strength to increase and improve
Fighting yourself each day, so you won't lose
A dream seems like such a harmless thing
but one day its bound to grow
with a fresh pair of wings
it flies and it flies high
far from reach and far from thought
We sit idle upon our thrones, taking
in our wretched domain. It's humor-
ous how they scurry about as if it
mattered, running faster and fast-
er, pain and anguish and rust.
How comical.
Life must be more thanstress rashno casha bit of food to stash
Life must be more than dollar storeskeeping scoresoul sores
A girl walks the perfect road
Sun shining bright like always
Day after day
Sadness does not exist
For she knows not what it is
She continues to walk this perfect road
I'm sitting here thinking about what to writeit's been years since I tried to learn how to ryhmetyping isn't easyand this is just worsetrying to explain to people that making poetry makes me burst
Shall I die today?
Can I live till tomorrow?
Will death come early?
Blood running down my head.
I lay there dead in my bed.
But I will find the light again.
Run with me.
Become free.
Once I watched a fly,
struggle against a web,
I stared as it twitched in horror,
knowing it would soon be dead.
Ever so gently,
a small brown spider
stepped on to its
white, glossy trap.
On a Saturday night around 12 am I find myself lost in a haze of vibrations and hands
Pulling at my hips, while we dance
At the end of our meeting
With a name and a drink I was greeted
The partridge swings happily in the tree,
For some reason it cannot see,
The death day is drawing near,
And the partridge doesn't show fear,
A cat awaits from afar,
Your life is a struggle, heavy burden can't juggle
Your hunger is like a animal don't stress no more cause god is here
Have faith that he will see you through protect and love you years and threw
At first is exciting then its a blur,
pretending to be popular as if you were,
making new friends that you'll have till the end
laughing and joking until you bump heads
although its a journey a clear road lies ahead
SplitShatteredOne of many facesOne maskWho knows the answersFrom offenseTo defensePoet at onceFighter the nextLover at daySinner by night
Gun in his hand with his face to sky / Ashamed of himself, he started to cry / Freak, Homo, Loser, Gay / Venom-dripped insults everyday / Nobody knows what he's feeling at night / The pain he goes through, the internal fight / Pulled the trigger,
I write because
Actions can never completely suffice.
We are to control ourselves
But there is a war raging within me.
Life is a journey
It begins with a proud moment
then turns into a bumpy ride
The tides of life will toss and turn
But with just one paddle
you can turn.
Making a difference determines what we do
Life is hard enough as it is. Something has to give. Struggling every day, but I thought that a life of luxury was the American way.
I will not hold back, even if it's the last thin i do, i will stick to my plans and keep moving on, for I am sweet and caring in the outside world, but I am strong-willed at heart.
You know, you might look at me and think that I've got it all together, this much is true.
But if you dig a little deeper, the truth will come through.
You see, I'm just a young man with a hope and dream, a little talent, too.
Answers aren't at the bottom of a whiskey bottle,
But misery is.
You're just a child whose been hurt,
And the world has hardened your heart.
The Jocelynn Effect
What is life but a journey,
A journey that can teach much.
Who knows where it will take you,
Far away, or close to home.
Your words sound as sweet as the morning dew
and yet thy words play with my gentle heart
too innocent to unveil what flew through
thy humbling failures cast us apart
A small bird I am doth sing my tune
(poems go here) I feel it...
Kick
Kick
kick
Inside of me
Your apart of me
Sweet child of mine, please forgive
Forgive me for having to bring you into this world
For only having love to give you
The definition of finish
Can’t possibly be the first sign of progress on the road to success
Maybe it’s the ok to exit
Or a predetermined establishment of “well enough”
Its designed as something easy to live with
How quickly I must die
I must let go of my life.
I see all down eternity
I must let go of me.
What do I have to hold onto here?
Is there somehing more I could hold dear?
I must let go of me.
I used to meet you in the park.
You had pride- you said.
"This is only temporary.
I'm looking for a job,
Not living on welfare."
From the Deep it rises
I catch my breath for it surprises
me when I see
it a hundred feet below me
It's scales shining in the water
like a knight in shining amor.
It gets closer as I reel.
Its a shame i'm seeing more coffins then diplomas
More babies, more mothers, no fathers just sperm donors
And life just don't Condon us to reach for those personas that developed into careers with fancy houses and chandlers.
Lively, smiling I once use to be,
Before a thing hit me called reality
What was that? You don’t like what you see?
That’s alright, I’ll change profusely.
Oh, not to your interests either?
That one feast during that one time of the year
That one moment when calories don't matter, we have no fear
Across that one big table we can barely see
Through that one turkey big enough for the entire family
I truly believe that to succeed means more than acquiring money,
But being hungry to give back to society.
To make it means more than the fake get up,
More than the superficial snakes that call themselves friends to us.
I listen to the sound of your footsteps
And the floorboards creak with your motions
The same old rickety ebony that’s held us up for the past 5 years
Never once complaining as out footsteps left imprints on its back
Here I am, once again
Sitting in the same place, same routine, same faces
I’ve mistaken a change in pace to be progress, a step out of this mess
I’m discouraged at the realization, no longer through the rearview mirror;
No glance or furtive peek needed,
I already know.
They are me, all respiring to one united beat and breath--and we’ll die together at death.
My hand shakes as I write.
Lines and curves.
Quivering like a crisp leaf,
as the calm before the storm dissipates.
I have so. Many. Questions.
Clickity clackity whirrrrrrr zip zap
Whispering chatter head starts to hurt
Squeakity squakity crickity crack
Musical distraction focus is blurred
You’re at a red light and a homeless man approaches you
And you act like you have nothing when you’re sitting in your BMW
Maybe one day I will be able to forgive myself so I can start to forgive everyone else.
Until then I will be the product of my own lies about how blissful I am when my eyelids are open.
I am dependent——maybe codependent.
I am sick——I am fine.
(I’m everything I wish I weren’t.)
Today I am fine. I am fine. I am fine.
And I suppose that is one of my greater lies.
I am I am I am I am… Fine?
Blending together, they are.
Like reflections on water.
Memories, like a cookie jar.
These thoughts they slaughter.
Death and life
Toils and Strife
Life isn't handed on a silver platter
What does it all matter?
I'll start walkin' your way,
You start walkin' mine.
Best friends forever,
No matter how far away.
We'll find the means
To stay that way.
I'll start walkin' your way,
You start walkin' mine.
A man's courage is a product of a man's desire.
A man's strength is synonymous with long lasting fire.
To live and to love makes man want to inspire.
Because to live and to love makes a man soar even higher.
As I hear the pitter-patter of the rain against the window
I think of new beginnings.
Reconciliation.
The budding of the spring.
Pinecones popping
A sign of the blooming.
Then the hail thuds.
Who am I?
I am the byproduct of "niggas" and "crackas":
caramel skin, nappy black hair and dark chocolate eyes.
I am more than meets the eye.
I am a dusty book that has yet to be opened,
I have a story to tell.
Looking up, as he looks off into the distance
Seeing a giant I cannot
His eyes stare ahead and not down at me
But I feel them seeing through
All the strength and informality
The facade that's a decade old
Unbroken silence
Quiet is all around me
My eyes search for sound
Seeing is hearing
Even what is not spoken
Eyes hear everything
Life with no hearing
Silence is normal for me
My life is not loud
How could I ever forget that day? Her eyes beaming bright, a fire kindling in her heart, and a boundless energy to inspire, all stared back at the seven of us in the floor length mirror.
It's not the exact progression
exception
Among all my most prized possessions
must be the words that I have never spoken
Chosen
Swallowing evil words that be-throne them
the more condensed
When winter storms bring snow and ice and springs face hides beneath
And life is draped in cold regret where jealousy sinks its teeth
The road is dark and rough, though often traversed by those
Chicago shall rise again.
This phrase, from ashes rose
But I see a city again with flames rising high
Not of fire but of hatred, racism and crime.
A Chicago whose politicians are varied
what should I do
which side to pick
in this battle
in my mind
that’s killing me inside
my heart chooses one
society chooses one
and I pick one
and I pick wrong
and I know it’s wrong
A night in the park
A house, a house
Intimidation
Trepidation
My child, my child
Innocent victim
Silent victim
Dry tears
Hopelessness looms
Eyes closed
Eyes open
Bliss
Im young, I Am Dumb,
I Grow, Then im Grown
In this short period of time i have learn much
At times like this i wonder is it enough???
At Last its my life and I Set The TOne........
I say i'm okay but i'm not
I don't know if i'm depressed or just think a lot
Regardless ima never say how i feel
So behind my words is someone who'll never heal
The future is bright for some and dark for others
See We Live in a life full of judgmental people
We try to do good in a world filled with evil
We all fall but some don't get back up
Almost burned in the fire
Didn't feel the burn, but I got the marks
Generations getting higher and higher
We left the atmosphere without any talks
I find the mistakes that I've made
(poems go here) im always wandering
pondering about where i wanna go and where i want to be
im so scared that my wandering will equal squandering
my goals are always so clear yet far from me
Mind focused, alert, strong
As an ox plowing the field.
Called life breaking your back
Fixing, covering up, and tending to the gardens needs
Silent...
Not once stopping for a break
So as we walk and listen upon thy word,
people cry as they look up into the sky,
feathers falls towards us from the birds,
within ourselves we begin to cry,
I keep fighting these battles
With ending in sight
Hoping that someday it'll all end
I keep fighting these battles
Thinking it'll change everything
That things will get better
Bizarrely we talked
Carefully we walked
Layers fell
But of course still remained
Deep thoughts of intentions
Hoping to feel without losing
I struggle nonchalantly
He started as a friend,
But wasn’t in the end.
He played his part so well,
How hard it was to tell,
Of how he did deceive,
I wished that he would leave.
Freedom did I seek,
Though I was so weak...
I am never afraid, never back down, head up never down
Slashing through the competition, any opposition
There is none, Ive already won
Clumps of snow burst out of the sky,
the whoosh of the piercing wind,
hits my ice cold face.
I have always heard the world whisper
your biggest flaw is my conscience
Because in words I convince you a universe of me.
Only one answer.
Why so much killing, from north to south, from east to west?
Why so much pain that no one should endure?
Why so much sadness, we cry ourselves to sleep?
Their here, their there, their everywhere
You may not see them, but their everywhere
They need your help, though many turn their heads
If I could I would help every single person
Another night,
The chill aches in their bones,
Trash-can fires light up the cold night,
Some dig through the garbage,
For something to eat,
Others try to find warmth,
In a box,
When I think of you I say,
What happened to the way
You looked at me
You talked to me
Or how to acted around me
The Struggle to stay strong
Is a shameful reality,
They say I don’t belong
And I tell them they have no morality
Need somewhere to go
Don't have anyone around
Praying someone's searching
Hoping you'll be found
From the middle passage, shackles, whips, auctions, cotton fields, negro spirituals, secret church, rape, abuse, scars, hangings, fires, hoses, boycotts, descrimination, segregation, Jim Crow Laws to protests, civil rights movement, NAACP, Dr.
You are more
than tears and dust and roses,
more than ash and blue sky
and old scars.
you are more,
beloved creature,
you are the wind itself,
the sky,
Don't you hate,
When you're the only one?
Like that dried up raisin,
In that 90 degree sun?
Don't you hate,
Just sitting alone?
Like there's no one there
To sit by you on your throne?
You’re on my mind all the damn time.
I just want you gone, I just want you out.
There’s nothing there from your end,
just the emptiness of a friend.
It was never my intent to return to this place
dark halls of betrayal, and lacking in grace
Lustful intentions, like geysers of steam
scald memories ‘neath mahogany beams
I never had it.
What does it feel like?
Requited and mutual
A yes to that nervous question
I've never had it
That embrace of affection
With that one you enjoy
You yearn for and endear to
Time does not exist, only clocks. My body is a pendulum. The rubber soles ticking along the concrete so harmoniously as to measure out the perfect period.
Life, each turn
Leaves you more lost than the first
It's just something
That's when it's bad, it hurts
Not knowing how one day, will go
That's the reason why we get up
To suffer each day of it
She sits in a corner all alone.
Another day of being bullied at school and home.
Shes too thin. An anorexic girl.
Shes too quiet. Scared of the whole world.
Everybody hates her because she is different.
Love is watching
someone dying,
Their bodies
slowly falling.
Your heart
an empty room,
Walls of red
dark like a tomb.
We're setting sail to a voyage that never ends
Cast with the wind, while the anchor begins to drown
Blurred ripples, our boats filled up with sand
And the sirens sing, leaving an empty sound
