Poem I will name it the struggle is real

The struggle is real I mean the sadness I so often feel.
Don't mean to sound deranged but I'm just wishing I could have changed . Hate feeling stuck and in a muck with all the work I do can't seem to find any luck lately Each day i can't seem to get out of my own way. I know life can be like a joyous play but yet to my dismay I have not been able to say Raise the curtain for today i am certain that I'm living a full life so stand and cheer if you would like have I mentioned you can call me mike? Just seems I'm caught in a trap for years thought oh well I can always take another lap yet as I get older the track grows much shorter and I'm left to wonder will I have time to break free from my blunder? Don't mean to sound like a dope but recently it has been rougher to find hope. I've learned to cope but like a jerk my way just does not work . Need to brake free from this rut god please light a fire under my but. I pray for health weath and a life of passion and joy. I know I've hurt my little boy. Years gone by living a lie that half a life is somehow ok as I wake up and wipe away yet another tear from my face all I want is a loving embrace . Man my brain can be so insane. The addiction an affliction that has me settle avoid and run from responsibility can't it see how much it has hurt me? Let it be let it be need god more than ever maybe he can save me..........