My mom gave up on me before she gave me a chance,
I’m trying hard to forgive her but at this point I can’t,
My dad tried his hardest but even he let me down,
But I love him, I forgive him and I try to be around.
Dominica is my first sister she came right before me,
This was where it all started but came to an end shortly.
My dad met Lorraine and they fell in love,
She had two kids of her own and my dad had his one.
To me it was perfect and there was nothing wrong,
But behind closed doors sang a different song,
About 7 and a half years later my dad went his way,
A Secret from our family, Her name was Lorai.
My dad and Lorraine tried for a brother or sister for years,
When I found out Lorai was pregnant,
I was drowning in tears.
I love my brothers now to death and wouldn’t change them for a thing,
But I never knew how much pain a pregnancy could bring.
I watched Lorraine suffer, cry and fall apart,
That’s when I knew my dad was her heart,
Not long after Lorraine got involved with my mom,
I was so confused I didn’t understand what was going on,
I did all that I could to keep my real mom away,
But Lorraine wanted to be the bigger person anyway,
As the years went by, Lorraine lost everything she had,
She was so far gone, depression took over her path.
May 9th, 2005, My birthday and also Mother’s day,
My mom was no where to be found so I invited Lorraine,
I waited for her forever but she never showed up,
Until last period she came in a rush,
She had a gift for me and her final words for the rest of my life,
2 days later my dad came to my school and told me she had died,
Not the kind of death that will ever give you peace,
Every single day it still haunts me,
To think of people watching you die while you're handcuffed to a bed,
Overdosed on heroin that’s what plays ongoing in my head.
Blood is thicker than water but love is thicker than blood is what she said,
And I never truly got it until I had to live with her death,
So after she died I began writing poetry to help ease my pain,
My dad said move forward and stop dwelling on Lorraine,
I don’t know how he feels but it looked easy for him,
Coz it killed me inside to know I’d never see her again,
She protected me and spoiled me and never left me out,
She was loyal and showed me what love was all about.
I stayed with her mom after Lorraine passed,
She wasn’t doing too well and needed all of us bad,
She was suicidal but I never took her serious,
She talked about doing it and it always made me curious,
But the curiosity went away because shortly after,
Another day in my life another tragic disaster,
A bottle of pills and a bottle of Southern Comfort,
A burn on the face and on the floor is where they found her.
Some of the worst years of my life but the story keeps going,
I always had a smile on my face to keep my feelings from showing,
I went on and did what I had to do,
Hustled every way just to get through,
Moved in with my grandparents and they helped me along the way,
They couldn’t give me what I needed but they provided a place for me to stay,
I started working young to provide all the necessities,
And they always reminded me how proud they were of me,
I was never unemployed or asked for anything,
Did everything people said I couldn’t and made them prouder than I'd ever seen.
And that’s when Johnny came back into my life my crush since I was thirteen,
We weren’t together until later but I was happy he still cared for me,
After all that he dealt with I never thought I had a chance,
But he put it all behind and has been such a good man,
We’ve been through it all and now we’re stronger than ever,
Both on a new path trying to get through it together.