Negativity and Positivity - The Bigger Picture

What does it mean to be 'all grown up'? Have a car? Job? Apartment?

For me, being grown up meant self-advocacy.

Age 15, depression and anxiety was at it's highest.

I begged to go to therapy, my first session ended in a trip to the emergency room.

Diagnoses; Suicidal Ideation with Major Depressive Disorder

I didn't want to hurt myself. But the emotional pain was too heavy to endure.

I stayed for a week. Put on medications. Made friends.

Went back to school, put down for missing days, told by my teachers I would fail.

This is where I knew I had to 'grow up'. I wasn't going to let them fail me. 

I went into homeschool, started regular therapy, and graduated high school two years early. 

Now - college, vocational rehabilitation, self-harm free, and happier than ever. 

Sometimes the reasons you 'grow up' can be negative at the moment.

Looking at the bigger picture, there are always positives within negatives.

Without me going to the hospital, dropping out, staying in therapy - I might not be here today. 

I may not have ever enrolled in and attended college, I may not have ever had the confidence to better myself.

But I am here today. I am graduating from college in a year. I am getting better every day.

Growing up is inevitable, different for every person but always and forever will be, a learning experience.

This poem is about: 
Me

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