I hate you

And yet I’m supposed to love you

I want to be rid of you

Yet I never will completely

I hate you

Why can you not change?

The same way men cannot move the heavens

You will never be rid of me



I hate you

I want my fingers to leave pools on your throat

I want to see frost on your eyes

Yet not so long ago

I would have saved your body with mine

I hate you

Yet they tell me I need to love you

For long I have held up your body with mine

Yet I still know nothing of love



Why can you not just leave?

Cure all my sufferings

And you too will be free

It is you, you

Who needs to die

Why yes, be my guest

Here is the knife, and here is my small throat

But can you? Can you?



I cry upon hearing your name

You, whom I buried in the ground

Are still reaching up with your small arms

And pushing away my destiny

You, who I’ve said are dead to me

Oh, why

Don’t make me cry

Tis not I, but




Maybe instead I will die

While instead you stay alive

No; I know I shall die

I know you shall be alive

Fall and rise and return


In you?

In me?

Yes, you

In us.


Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression! 

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