Hope

Sat, 11/23/2019 - 16:13 -- Fangstu

I fell hard

I fell long

It seemed so never ending

It was so tiring and mind bending 

A struggle like no other can understand

It only got worse after it began

I started sinking in fast like I was sinking in sand

I could only live for the one second I could stand

Each day 

If i was lucky enough to catch it slowing

 

But there was no way of knowing.

There was no indication the day would come where I required medication.

Before my years, before my tears,

I was just a little syndication.

 

Now, as far as I can tell, there's no way anyone could have kept me from that hell. 

No matter what their decision

What their choice or position. 

 

I fell all on my own. And I cant even beat myself up. 

It happened, it just is and there is no reason

But I didn't give up so easily

And before I knew it I was a shelf up

 

I had hit bottom and crawled out. 

It wasn't until now that I could bid this curse adieu

Because tough times don't last 

Tough people do

 

Even when I felt at my weakest

When I felt like I wasn't going to make it

I stuck it out. 

It was hope.  Hope is a hell of a thing.  It grabs hold of you and stitches itself to you. It shackles, straps and bolts itself to you.  

There is no way you can break free. No way it was letting go. 

Part of me wanted it to. Part of me wished I could stop hoping.  

But now I'm elated at its impossibility. 

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