how He made me
When he made her
he said she was going to be smart and funny and kind
and caring and she was going to have a boyfriend that she adores,
that always calls her beautiful
but she will have depression and anxiety
she will always believe that she is ugly and not worth anything
but due to her kind nature she will always help others before herself
because she's funny she will always make jokes about her doubts and insecurities
but she always tries to be the best version of herself
as for her boyfriend, she doesn't think she deserves him,
she just knows that eventually he'll see her the very same way she sees herself
an ugly worthless waste of space
and she will be devasted when he does
because everything he told her
would have been a lie
every smile he made her smile would have been a waste
Depression makes her have doubts
and Anxiety fuels those doubts
Anxiety makes her spiral
it makes her think of every single thing that could end up badly
and another thing with anxiety
is that it doesn't just let her tell all of these things to people
it makes her believe that they won't care about her problems
that it would make them think she was just looking for attention
but that's another thing
she truly needs attention
she needs someone to talk to her
about the dumbest thing
or the simplest
she just wants someone to know that she exists
she wants someone to know that she is on the earth
because she might just do something to herself
and she wants at least one person to know she's not there anymore
she wants everyone to know she's sorry
even though she hasn't done anything to them
shes just sorry
she always has been