Poem to my mother

Writing this poem
So I can finally tell you how I feel
Sorry that sometimes you don't want to deal
With all my trauma and emotions
What I gotta do take a whole bottle just for you
To realize I'm hurtin
I feel like you never even cared
Sorry that I can't accept love I'm too scared
So I'd rather push you away
Because deep down im scared you'll stay.
Sorry I messed up your life
Everything you say cuts me like a knife
But you think I can't feel
And everytime you drink you end up
Spilling your true feelings
Which only adds to my self hatred
Because I know you regret making me
I'm a fuck up a big mistake
Wish I could pretend like you don't break my heart
If I wanted to tell you how I truly feel I wouldn't know
Where to start
Sometimes I wonder if you even have a heart
Like I always wonder why you say you love me
Can't you see I'm a fuck up I'm ugly
So i see why you left
Maybe leaving makes you feel better about yourself
Because you clearly don't care about no one else
I can't even sit here and pretend
That I see you as a mom when really I see you as a friend.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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