On My Mind

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 03:51 -- alybby1


United States
40° 42' 34.6392" N, 74° 0' 7.5672" W

You’re on my mind all the damn time.
I just want you gone, I just want you out.
There’s nothing there from your end,
just the emptiness of a friend.

That’s not good enough for me,
I need to be the girl you always see.
I need to be her, so that you can care.
So that you can look at me and stare,
the way you do when she enters a room.

You’re pretty they say, you deserve so much better.
But I don’t want better,
I want you and I don’t know what else to do.
I’ll be on this emotional roller coaster until you want me too.

So I guess that means this ride will never end,
but maybe it can break down and time can stand still,
so that these feelings can no longer escalate.
So that they can’t turn into something more, something worse at will.

I've tried to get off, but there’s no escape. You have your grasp on me,
like the safety bars strapped to my seat.
In broad daylight, there’s nowhere to hide
from your laugh, your smile, all the features that are always on my mind.

All the damn time.

All the damn time, you’re always there.
I try to keep my distance, but my heart doesn't care.
I try to tell it that it will be hurt, but it won’t listen, it never does.
It’s stupid and naive, to think that maybe this time things will be different,
but it couldn't be any more wrong.

I just want these feelings to stop, please make them go away.
Sadly, Heart won’t listen to what Brain is trying to say.
I don’t know if I can deal with this rejection,
I think that this will be one refusal too many.
The one that pushes me to the ledge maybe even over the edge.

I don’t want that, I don’t want to fall.
I just want us, that’s all.
Please, open your eyes and see,
It’s not so bad for you to like me.

But it is, isn't it?
It makes you want to barf, just at the thought.
I understand, it should be felt not bought.
So no I won’t ever make you try to feel, something so unreal.

I’m going to stop this madness,
I’m going to stop this pain.
And hopefully soon I’ll find, that you’re no longer on my mind.

All the fucking time.

Guide that inspired this poem: 


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