I’m an addict

I am addicted to the things

That are not good for me

But who isn’t right?

I’m addicted to those things sinful

To the flesh

 

My forbidden desires

Like big…fat…

Snicker bars

Because they’re my reward

When I’ve finished an assignment

When everything’s complete,

I tend to take it up a notch and

Get high off a BIG hit of

C.R.A.C.K.

 

Yes, that’s right I said C.R.A.C.K.

Now I know that may sound a lil weird

And for those of you who know me,

Y’all probably think I’m on something

All day, everyday

But let me explain what

C.R.A.C.K. is

 

C.R.A.C.K. is

Crazed

Ridiculed

Addictions that

Constantly

Keep my mind adrift

 

Now……

When you think about it,

We all take hits

 

Crazed thoughts play ring-around-the-rosy

Pocket full of posies and what’s of my heart

Become ashes and my body falls down

From the intense pressure

Of the life I’m blessed in

It’s true it could always be worst

But it’s different from the outside looking in

 

Ridiculed by the way I walk, talk, dress

Even the way I behave

It used to not bother me as much

However, battling a fuse so short

That it’s close to being nonexistent,

I’m fed up with some people

Taking me for granted by constantly using these

 

Addictions that I let consume my mind, body, and soul

Because I’m an addict  of stress and worries

It’s in my nature to help those in need

Of the ATM, a shoulder to cry on

The dependable one, oh even better

That ride or die you can actually depend on

 

I’m an addict  to anger

Because the battle between

Would I rather be feared or liked?

Sometimes have no real balance

Here’s a secret that I’m going to share with you

You just find that even level between

Anger and calmness

Called pissed off

 

Men you may not like this however, I’m going to say it anyways

I’m an addict  to what I think is “love”

From those of you who claim you have a

Tree with two apples

When in reality…

It’s more like a sad twig with droopy lil leaves

 

Ladies, don’t laugh too hard just yet

Because some of us,

We’re addicted to “Ain’t-Shit-Niggas”

Because they get underneath and figure out our deal

Then fake a case so deserving of attention while

Waving the banner of “I’m different, I’m real”

In time, true colors are shown after the wind has blown

We’re just suckers for the dance of nature

 

We all got an addiction to being high on our dreams

Forgetting to return from Cloud Nine and

S.S. This is Your Ideal Self

Sometimes, instead of just doing

We just keep talking

About our addictions…

 

Mine, simultaneously, causes me to

 

Constantly think about my short fuse

That abnormally motivates me to go the distance

And my some of my haters and admirers

I say,

“Thanks for trying to imitate my greatness, now create your own and yes keep talking”

 

Constantly thinking about that maybe one day

I’ll look at my reflection and

I will see myself the way others do

Constantly thinking of the ones I wish

I never gave my fragile heart  too

Learning from my mistake of

Allowing man to think that he had the power over me

 

Constantly going through an internal battle with

Myself because I am the blame for

Yet, another heartache which

Makes me an addict to not

Trusting my instinct of self

All of these thoughts

 

Keeps my mind adrift

The negative infects

The positive neglects

The thoughts centered on what I’m packing

Instead of what I’m lacking

 

Before you’re quick to judge my addiction

Just know that I am not the only

Addict in the room.

The first step is admitting

You have a problem

 

I am proud  to say

“Hello, my name is Talaya and

I’m an addicted to

C.R.A.C.K.

 

Crazed

Ridiculed

Addictions that

Constantly

Keep my mind adrift….”