lost
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Clouds roll in
As darkness falls
electricity dances over my skin
And the voice in the void calls
I scream out to reach you
Asking myself why is a constant. By extension asking myself how will-arise under any new possibility. I take a step back and peer at all the obstacles residing in my way; making mockery at my current position.
What do I feel?Does it matter, I sometimes think,To express or show it? exhausting thoughts,It is like the air has been repressedAnd I don’t have the energy to navigateIn half answers and half hopes,
What do I feel?Does it matter, I sometimes think,To express or show it? exhausting thoughts,It is like the air has been repressedAnd I don’t have the energy to navigateIn half answers and half hopes,
She's vanished
in sea of cyber space.
She wandered aimlessly
surfing unfathomable
regions of unknown origin
hoping to find
evidence of life
beyond four walls,
I hear you I can hear her call. It is but a whisper now. It sounds like she is still right here. I can feel you. I feel her hand in mine. It is just a memory now. It feels like I can hold her still. Still she is nowhere near me.
artificial
Knock! Knock!
It’s me!! Haha its us! It’s you…
Aww don’t give me that face now. You forgot about me didn’t you?
My relationship with my mother
Has been a series of trust falls
And she's never once caught me
.
But I keep leaning backwards
And hating myself
When I inevitably hit the ground
.
Let's watch the horizon together,
From this crumbling rooftop, we built ourselves on.
Let our legs dangle over the breathing city disasters,
let them swing back and forth,
like a metronome-keeping rhythm.
She looked at herself in the mirror and what she seen and what she felt were two different things. She was conflicted with herself. What she saw was her reflection, not sure what it was that she was reflecting.
At home I sit
Thoughts running through my head
Tomy filled with troubles
Yet I'm supposed to be free in his presence
I can't even figure out what I'm doing here
.............
The Sun can't reach her
She's covered in mud and planted in a hole that her tears water
Salt from the earth runs deep through her veins
And her dark skin reflects like jewels in a cave
My heritage is mixed like the color of my skin
I'm too black for the whites
Too white for the blacks
But, my color is not who I am
The beauty standard of those who lingar inbetween
It's so ironic how after heartbreak, a simple everyday item turns into the things that makes you fall apart,
And it doesn't take much for every little thing to remind me of you, even though you were the one who broke my heart.
Don't make us become displaced.
Never make us feel misplaced.
that would be a disgrace.
Trauma and tragedy,
no one should have to face.
Fun games ,not war.
Say no to gore.
I repeat my name
on and on
and on and on
and on and on
As if I'm trying to find myself
As if I'm trying to dig deep into my truth
And I feel like I'm getting closer
Losing a friend isnt instant,
The memories linger,
And the what if's become unbearable.
The guilt sets in at sunrise,
And the grief chokes you at sunset.
You dont just lose them and go on
Losing a friend isnt instant,
The memories linger,
And the what if's become unbearable.
The guilt sets in at sunrise,
And the grief chokes you at sunset.
You dont just lose them and go on
It’s A Lot Easier To Believe The Warming Feeling Of Love For Another Is Thoroughly Reciprocated Than To Admit The Blatant Truth That Your Love Is One Sided.
We use to laugh, We use to talk, We use to confide in eachother. I was totally in love with my bestfriend. You can fall in love with friends too.I.would give her my last, my life I let her hold in the palm of her hands. She was so beautiful then.
God has sent the Angels near
closest to the one that fears
even though you are alone
resting due to casted stones
a light nearby will slowly heal
your broken soul, so well concealed
I never been this confused,
what if my life will just turn to blue?
How will I survive,
if I don't know what to do.
I am lost
Out in the unknown
Poeople all around me
Yet inside I feel alone
Thoughts and emotions
Too hard to express
They threaten to engulf me
Donna, donna che ho tanto amato
Oh ! Ci sono diverse primavere fa
Che il tempo fosse bello
E il vento fischiava basso e lento
Why is it we have desperation and reliability on one person we want when we can’t have?
The worst feeling that won’t go away until they say yes, and deepens when they go away.
Mask up
Six feet apart please
Forget your own name
You won't need to speak
Don't cough in public
Wash your hands
Remember hand sanitizer
Follow the demands
The virus is super bad
A body with hands like maps
Allow me to trace your highway veins
Intertwine your fingers in mine
And learn my roads, my cliffs
My body yearns to know your story
i was lost in the dark,
and in the light i couldn't see.
the burnt-out spark,
was always you and me.
i was lost in my thoughts,
lost in my mind,
you were the light i sought,
I'm just clay
I mold myself depending on who's with me
Change into what they want me to be
Then I sit there as they react to me
As if I'm a film and they're the movie critic
I don’t feel passionate anymore
As if it’s all been sucked out of me
And I’m dry
As if the water that used to flow
Evaporated
One little girl staring out the window
She is alone but not lonely
She has a dove
Sometimes she shares her secrets
Sometimes she just stays silent
Days pass by
Then months
and then Years
Perhaps one more before I go.
This one is dedicated to the men,
a man’s height beneath the floor.
Sitting in chairs, until the room starts spinning.
Unspoken, unidentified tragedies ...
I wonder if bad news and devastation are better delivered
With the merciless blow, like finding out you'll die just before Christmas
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us.
This is for you.
I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us.
This is for you.
I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
Looking for Answers
And denying events
This journey portends
So, it begins;
This mixture of love and fear
The tireless industry of culture and sin
Sex scandals and race riots
Little Cat I was introduced to you in a dark part of my life. You were kind, warm, and loving.
Yet I could never bring about the courage to hold you and be with you. In those days of you where the bright spot
The darkness envelopes me,
Wrapping its arms around me.
It hushes my cries,
And wipes the tears from my eyes.
"Shh... I am right here,"
It whispers, quiet, in my ear.
Been lost for a while, I'm missing myself.
Filed a missing person's report on myself.
No posters, picture on milk cartons, or hashtags.
No tee shirts, search parties, or evidence bags.
Oh no, no, I can't find my pen, I really lost it,
I cried like a baby; I can't believe I lost my best friend
It sees me naked, perfectly imperfect and still loves me
I spent so many years,
Doing nothing but crying.
But now I'm out of tears,
All despite my trying.
Not because I've overcome fears,
But because my soul is dying.
As the light draws near,
No longer your lover,
no longer your desire,
only ever my soul desire,
confounded by my desire,
to give you the love you require,
yet only receiving your ire,
never to be your soul desire,
Love is a Drug
It can be annoying as bug or as welcoming as a rug
Love is better than weed because its something you need
It can be just like alcohol and cause quite the brawl
Will I
Remember at the end?
Crying eyes
Yet I like to pretend
Questions not asked
That how I want it to be
Die young and live fast
I'm hurting, can't you see?
I wear a big ol smile
I have disappeared.
Disappearence is common.
Allies swallow people.
Lakes surround a soul and rob them.
This is not a dissapearence I have been dealing with.
OH MY DARLING,
I THINK OF YOU, YOU LEFT IN PAIN
I'M LOST IN YOU, BUT GOES IN VAIN
THE MEMORIES WE MADE..
ARE LIKE A DIAMOND
LESS I THINK, MORE I PLEA
Shall I speak to you my secrets
in hushed and airy tones
near the warmly-lit fire?
Sweet taste of nectar and honey
you praise me and forget yourself.
How this narrative reminds me of one such time
The first funeral i attended
There wasn’t too much i understood about death
Relationships that were broken
Now mended
With shared sadness
I seemed to have stepped foot in the wrong directionThat put me on the wrong path.
The world lights me on fire,I would put it out.
The sun loses it's light,I found light in Jesus.
Am I mentally fucked up too?
I walk down the halls, the same paths you took,
The same paths that we conversed,
The same paths that we touched.
I still look for your beautiful face
Upon the crowded areas.
the stars we see each night
are only distant lights from the past
meaning that we see them
but they could be gone
i'm sort of like that
because you can still see me
but honey, i've been gone
I still think about you
Every day and every night
We drifted so far apart
Was it wrong or was it right?
I wanted to talk to you
I just couldn't break my wall
I hated how we ended
You know that train I was talking about?
I think it took a wrong turn
Cuz now i just feel misplaced
Like i don’t belong here
If i jumped on a train
Where would it take me?
How far would I ride it?
Would I be free?
A passenger on its many painted boxcars
- Stanza 1: Son
Hello?
Who are you?
You are me.
But I'm not.
I mean I'm what their I's want me to be.
I am who they are.
And they are who I am.
But now I look at the I AM,
The dark eyed mom is here again.
I hope she’s not here to stay.
There will be no meals or good-time feels
And no, This mom don’t play.
You know, I can see it in your face
Your just a machine
A slave to your desire
You’re so black and blue
Yesterday, you said you wanted this
Today, you don’t want to live
Teardrops Atop the Pyramid
Stunting and bluffing
Stunting and bluffing
Breaking my body and collecting my thoughts
The forlorn state of the Damned and Dependent
#Memories
I lost myself in words last night,
It could be a dream as i was high,
Some memories i was passing by,
revising some older highlight.
she was a light
he trapped her in a box
she was laughter
he stole her joy
she was a graceful dance
he stole her footing
she was a leap of faith
he let her fall
she was truly alive
it's been a year
a whole damn year
and here i am
sitting across a gym
full of people
and all i see, is you
your obnoxious smile
your loud voice
and your annoying friends
it's been a year
a whole damn year
and here i am
sitting across a gym
full of people
and all i see, is you
your obnoxious smile
your loud voice
and your annoying friends
when you saw me
and whispered hello
did it cross your mind
that you'd break my heart?
you've seen the darkest of me
and the most vulnerable pieces of me
you've held me in the night
and kissed me in the morning
you loved me when i couldn't love myself
and now
you're a stranger
Learned the word humble long after the meaning was lost.
Just another product of tax payer exhaustion.
It hurts when referred to as perfect by the person that hurt you the most.
But ima keep it humble
Learned the word humble long after the meaning was lost.
Just another product of tax payer exhaustion.
It hurts when referred to as perfect by the person that hurt you the most.
But ima keep it humble
was, wenn wir beide geh‘nkein licht am ende seh‘ndie liebe nur noch scheinwussten können nicht zusammen sein habe nie so geliebt wie dichoder diente es nur zum schutz für michwollte nie sehen wie du bistoder dir sagen du wirst vermisst wurden vom
How an addict always hurries worries
where the next fix comes from
worries which of these tricks furry to run ya hunt ya
they all want ya- fun stuff
Missing In Abyss
Why have I gone this far
is it to see how far I can go
before I slit the throats of the cobra
or is it to know my ill mind is legit
I'm not paranoid on a meth trip
I'm a voice for those who have no choice
they surrounded hounded by demons
when I found them
I called out their name
I released their inner pain
by speaking about mine
with no shame
You broke me , with no remorse
Broken pieces , lonely people , sharing the same empty place - with a scenery so memorable it’s painted a home in my heart.
I am so madly in love with new york city
The lights on the buildings
Brighter than the stars
And you,
You were brighter than all the stars that night
I open my eyes only to see darkness surrounding me. As i walk along these cold desolate streets lost, lonely with an agonizing feeling of needing to know what happened to me.
House of cards
Easily blown away by wind
It doesn't take long
To notice how fragile it became
It holds memories inside
Memories of the good times
It has always kept the scent
I feel like they hear me but they don’t listen.
As if I was placed in a glass bowl turned upside down.
As if it was too much to give me air.
If I breathe too much my oxygen is limited.
So I sit.
And I sit,
I may smile today!
But I will cry tomorrow.
I will be today!
I will forget today for it has brought me sorrow.
The world may change due to yesterday's tomorrow.
I hate the days where life is pain!
I may smile today!
But I will cry tomorrow.
I will be today!
I will forget today for it has brought me sorrow.
The world may change due to yesterday's tomorrow.
I hate the days where life is pain!
Some days are nothing but black
Fighting a battle in endless fog
Seeing nothing, hearing only pitiful static
Some days are nothing but black
Nights bring emptiness, fading wordlessly to fog
Being lost is something I am pretty good at.
I am always lost in my mind, in worlds I am imagining.
Worlds where I am loved, in a perfect family,
and where I get the boy. The right boy.
Im writing these words so that if anybody is to find this, they'll finally understand
The pain I was going through and just how deep it went
How blinded i was by the darkness
Sitting at low tide amongst the creatures of the world underneath my lungs
Staring into the unbreaking blackness of the air hung in smoke
My eyes a lighthouse that gaze into the unknown reality
Walking up a concrete hill on the way home from school.
The sun beams against my back.
Creating a shadow darker than my caramel skin.
I’m lost in a forest with no one around
I’m lost
I see eyes in the bushes and stars in the night
I’m lost
I smile, I laugh and I cry,
but who am I?
I eat, I walk and I jump,
but who am I?
I dance, I sing and I sleep,
but who am I?
I talk, I shout and I bath,
but who am I?
Its just another night and Im starin again at the moon.
Lookin at the stars, Remembering of how we've been through.
Its just another night without you.
Lonely
I'm so lonely
I want to love
But there is no one to love
No one wants me
They all avoid me
Sending me flares and stares
Talking isn't rare
I feel a desire
To hold a hand
Sometimes I have to remind myself
Things aren't that bad
That all I am
Is a little lost
That I'll find my way
Tucked into my thoughts
In the silent wilderness, wasn’t so silent
My thoughts racing threw my mind, they all seemed so blind.
As I claimed to be fine, my limits have now ultimately crossed the line.
Depression is like that younger sibling you always had to share your toys with
It's like you're drowning but you're not underwater
I often wonder what passes through your wandering mind.
May God help me appease my lonely pondering mind.
For what lies hidden beneath your surface so well.
i could get losT in those eyes.
beHind them there are other worlds, lights, and sensations thAt take you like a tidal wave.
the world fades away around us for a Time,
and it’S an epic euphoria, all the little while.
I will always remember our time together,
remember our secrets we keep from the world.
All the lies we hold within our souls.
But only God knew
Why is the world so judgmental?
Like people,
Hungry animals choose their prey
By looking for the weak or wounded
They pursue them—
Cross my heart and hope to dieStabbed in the back a thousand timesInsecurities are mounting highWhat did I do to earn this life?Held prisoner by my brain My mental state is not okay
I yearned for another,
Who wasn’t you,
But she wasn’t there,
Unlike you,
At a long lost party
In old Cambridge town.
Did I fall
Just a little for you,
While longing for another,
O how
Ruefully I pine
For mi pueblito perdido,
What I wouldn’t give,
To be young again,
And happy as I was back then.
Maria, full of peace,
Do you remember
Thank you, for loving me,
For asking how I am,
You made me feel important
To feel like I just, can.
Thank you, for the opportunity,
i'll admit it
i am not much of a poet
i do not know much about rhyming
i just know about the individual
and how it is hard to be original
how we sit here and talk about nothing
What if I could live in a world in which I never fell for you? What if I never fell for you? What if I never fall again? Never feel the scrape of my knees hitting earth again.
I don’t know why I sit and wait for your attention or why my heart is so pure that I can’t actually admit how upset I get when I don’t talk to you. it sucks.
His touch was little at first.
Barely holding onto my back.
With time his touch gripped on to my neck like a huge claw.
I was a slave to his world.
Do as he says, when he says, how he says.
Woods, leading no where.
Beauty in the field, destroyed by weeds.
Circles and circles, round and around.
I keep tracking through these woods.
Feeling lost inside my soul.
Where am I?
Backpack on shoulder,
The air got colder,
Traveling out bolder,
The small hope holder,
In the land full of vicious,
He, imagining dreams delicious,
Strange voices there,
It burns through us all, every person on the planet.
It is a fast and fearless monster. Stopping the force of the creature seems impossible.
I don't even know
what I have left
anymore.
Not my family,
Not my friends
(who I don't want
to talk to),
Not trust,
or love,
or compassion,
or understanding,
I'm obsessed,Obsessed with death.
I love to picture my own end. Will it be by my own hands?An enemy's? Will I be a hero? Or will I grow old?
I'm obsessed,
Do you ever just want to be dead?
... I do.
Often.
But, I don't want it to be my fault.
I see how much it would hurt them now.
How deep in that cave should i wander
The fork stabs me; i see two paths set before
Harsh light lining my sight
His Blight
Like a newborn sun rising off in the horizon in an aberrant, pink blaze
1 Her eyes, they were not as bright as they used to be.
2 But even though she mostly wore black, her mind was a rainbow full of colors.
I cant tell if i am lost in a void,Lost in my thoughts, lost in a black hole,Lost in myself or lost in someone else,
We are the generation of thinkers
The generation of reckless drinkers
The generation in which my eyes are appalled and I have opened my mouth to exercise the right I was given
This is America.
One day you're home,
and then another you are left all alone.
Abandoned, gone, and lost.
Looking around like theres been a holocaust.
People say life is black and white-
“Hang tight”
Dark nights
Can’t breathe when there’s no light.
“Hold on”
Pain ends?
Ash blowin in warm winds
“You’re strong”
Guess so.
Eyes water when I’m all alone.
“Keep goin”
it's been a
Cold November
September-December-July-August-May
This year - more than last
Or maybe less than last
Sometimes it's hard to remember
Recall-commemorate-memorialize
I’ve lost my map and I have no clue where I am going
The fear of not knowing has continued growing
The way I am has been lost for months
You asked me to write for you,
So I wrote of a boy with stars in his eyes,
A bright soul, and his heart on his sleeve.
I wrote about how he died and how the light left his eyes
She stumbles in the darkness,
in search of the light.
But the sky had been empty for a while,
the stars could not hold on to it.
It is only her,
and the wind,
and the cold wetness on her cheeks.
How old must you be to experience this “true” love?
They say one doesn’t experience true love until much later in life…
But can that actually be true?
What is “true” love, anyhow?
School. Absolutely not.
"GO" I heard Him say
So Large
Too Large
"GO"
Lonely brain in an extroverted body
"GO"
I went.
Wait...
She likes the same things as me?
I’m still lost,
Inside my head.
I’m still lost,
Within this dread.
I’m still lost,
Leave me alone,
I’m still lost,
i’m still searching far and wide
for someone who has always been beside me
you are here
but i don’t know your face yet
I’ve fallen apart,
A million pieces in the floor.
Most of them are missing,
I can’t find them any more.
My pieces have been scattered,
Tread lightly,
For this is a realm of darkness,
A realm of pain and fear.
It traps and breaks the unwary,
Then leaves them lying dead.
I am a fallen angel,
Darkness is my garment,
And fury is my weapon.
I was once wreathed in light,
And I did the bidding of my master.
I’ve been crying out for aid,
But I’m rewarded with silence,
I’m screaming out for help,
Only for my pleas to fall
On the ears of a deaf deity.
It happened twice.
I let myself believe.
I thought that I might matter.
But what I didn’t see.
I loved and lost,
And was broken eternally.
I watched as my entire soul crossed a threshold.
Time slowed and I saw his face.
It was him.
They said I’d never see him again,
The rain is my peace.
My eyes were the ocean.
My heart in ruins.
I shook violently as the droplets struck me.
.
The rain is my peace.,
For she cannot see my tears.
You watched me from my window and took out your anger on my body with your eyes.
~awatr
He shook me furiously and the thunder shook the house surrounding my fragile skeleton.
~awatr
I see you in every angry fight,
every bruise,
and in every goodbye that is never said.
~awatr
Her eyes reminded me of the old embers in the fireplace,
unkempt by my absent father.
~awatr
I spent every waking minute thinking of you.
And when I shut my eyes at 3am?
There you were again.
~awatr
I stole a friend, I took them hostage, I held them here to listen.
You didn't know me when I pulled my gun, you didn't know what I wanted.
You begged for your life, I begged for you to listen.
Depression is deep
Quite like the black hole of sleep
It takes you away
Never to see the light of day
No matter my plight
It still puts up a fight
Pay attention to the sunlight,
the sunlight is the most warm, visible radiation of all.
Down, down into the darkness it goes- the hot, the tender, the close.
Through that happy dream
Open this wide gray doorYell then step and screamWhat is this place all for?
Good bad Light dark Evil spreading through the parks Lurking behind you like a shark You turn around and jump in fright But try and try with all your might To see the good within the beast You find it, relieved, to say the least But there are ma
Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to not constantly Worry about what people think of me, to not wonder if that woman on the other side of the room - that hasn’t even looked in my direction - is laughing at me or laughing at the completely rand
How to express yourself to yourself
Living life fake and wishing to be better
A mind were there is no control makes you think of the dark creeping inside
My vision darkens.
My stomach churns.
My heart races.
You saw my pain but you used me anyway.
~awatr
I’d laugh
Care
Understand
Feel empathetic
Love
But all of this and more I’d still have if you hadn’t ripped my heart out and kept it for yourself
They ask are you good?
I answer with my mask
and feel like a empty cask
I´m fine
so everyone around me can shine
can you see the skyline
I´am supine
being on my back
it´s all black
Where am I?
I’m not what you want me to be
At least not today
I just want to know if that’s okay
it's a long and lonely mile home from your door
hold me in your arms just once more
its a long and lonely mile to walk till daylight comes
and i fear your smile's still here and it's tearing me apart
To hurt, to love, to live.
It’s all part of life right?
But what is this so called thing “life”?
we all compare things and say “that’s life”
what is life? Is it the fact that we breath. Is it that we hurt?
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"What's wrong?"
I'm not quite sure how to answer that.
Do I believe something is wrong with me?
Depends on the day, time, and who's asking.
Eyes like the ocean
In more ways than one
They get trapped in the waves
Swallowed until there were none
As the eyelashes flutter
The wind blows stronger
Get lost is them both
Growing up through life,
The pressure to find a job is high.
It feels like a cut from a knife
When you don’t know where to spend the rest of your time.
Who is this woman?
She looks like my mom
She sounds like my mom
She smells like my mom
But she doesn't act like my mom
She is mean and cold and harsh
My mom is nice and kind and loving
My mind, much like our population, was overcrowded and
easily won over by the simplest romance.
~awatr
At that moment,
I let you go.
I felt my heart let you go.
And it was the most refreshing feeling I have ever felt.
I still love you -
But I'm not your prisoner.
and I never will be again.
I don't know what I'm doing or
what I have been doing
or what I want to do
but it's coming to an end and
I'm unsure
Harder are the days going,
And smaller are my hopes being.
Tired from those daily battles,
Hiding goes my upcoming titles.
i have spent most of my life in unconscious apathyoften rubbing at burning eyessleepily staring at fluorescent lightsin windoless classrooms that spark anxiety and agony
i've spent most of my life in apathyoften rubbing at burning eyes, sleepily staring at fluorescent lightsin windowless classrooms that spark anxiety and agony
Get up from bed and something isn’t right
Everything is muddled, dirty and foggy
I scream and cry not knowing what is going on
I go to the bathroom and see Myself in the mirror
As I struggle throught this land
Of hopelessness and fear,
I pass a sea of faces-
Ones that hold no cheer.
I cross the sea of betrayal
And over the bridge of doubt,
into the desert of despair.
When you've got something,
like a parent or something,
or maybe a pet of some sort.
you like it. and stuff.
And then you lose it.
And it suddenly becomes the most important thing.
I had lost something
Lost at sea it was not
I set sail but all I found were people lost
Some were following a captain
Their actions commandeered by one voice
But many were by their lonesome
With this flower I shall take your hand
With these words I shall make you cry
With this promise I shall give you hope
With this kiss I shall take you home
I want to genuinely smile and have real friends that make me laugh..
Even more than that - I really want to get my life back on track...
But it's hard to have hope for the future - cause I just can't let go of the past....
There you go again.
Leaving me behind.
Take me with you!
No, don't take me.
Not this time.
I yearn,
And when you finally offer,
I reject.
Because if I accept,
There's nothing more I'd like to do,
then snuggle in close and fall asleep with you..
I really want to call you...
& tell you I still care...
But I know you won't say it back....
& I don't think it's fair..
There's a place for everything and everything in its place..
Well, where do I put the memories of the past I can't erase?
If I could build the truth for you, I'd make it out of titanium steel...
I'd weld it together with all of the reasons -WHY- I STILL feel the way that I feel...
This thing called life changes from good to bad. Where were the signs? I should have saw the signs. All my fears comingto life. Disbelieve is my heart, for the road i have to take there's longsuffering and malaise.
Fugitive, fugitive, fugitiveYou must not be fugitiveYou must be activeLove your homeMake it as a groomAdorn with every pomponTo show himself handsomeWear and pretty trimAnd be always in the placeTo lead all nationsImitate its way, obey its sayFear
O Sis, could I love thee like no other.
For before my young eyes only squinted,
A face inoffensive to our mother.
I was, but a statue: black and minted.
Did not my ears think or care to listen
I remeber growing up as your baby cub.
You taught me how to care for myself incase you were not there.
Well now you are not here and I am still a lost cub.
I cry I weep
I dont sleep
Night all alone
Hiding in my phone
Where am i
Where did i go
Do i run from myself
Wont i leave me alone
I am lost
It is dark
Will i come back
I’m inside the labyrinth
It’s like King Minos built it for me
Perfectly designed for me
Just for me, me alone.
I don’t know which part I am
Neither the directions of it
Nor where to go
Lost in the middle of nothingness
Wandering, just wandering
A pair of shoes and my soul
Where are you?
Lost, not because I’m lost
Find me; I want you to find me
Hold me, and never let me go
Years have passed and my heart still yearns,
For a love, which is a love that hurts worse
I reach out to draw you in
But get hurt as I learn that you seek lonliness.
But rather than sitting all alone,
As my eyes rain this cold, wet sorrow...
My heart yearns for a better tomorrow
To feel lips brushed against mine
Gently pressed, one of a kind.
Yes, the cold is trapped in my sweater
Stare into the outside
Neon lights and street signs
She holds me
It’s gonna be alright
She said, but she fades
Moonlight turns away
She paints the ocean
Washed and faded memories
Hiding a child's laughter in the bubbles of sea foam
Happier times float longingly
In her heavy, tired brushstrokes
The reflection of a young sun,
These thoughts that lingers in my head I cannot explain
Only These thoughts are encrypted by him himself
He who’s not powerful or mighty
But me who’s brittle and broken
Lost
Not the magical lost you get when you go to Disney
Or walk into your favorite store
Not the dreamy sort of lost you feel when you stare into a pair of eyes or a really good book
Hey,
Remember that time you had your heart broken by that girl you first loved?
Not an elementary love, but the real stuff
I wake in the morning,
And the first thing I do
Is start to get high
To not think about you.
I take a long puff
To forget about your sorrow.
Take another one in
To forget about tomorrow.
Loving you came in waves.
At first, the water only touched my toes
With text messages and winking emojis
Then the water was to my ankles
You texted me every day,
It didn't matter what we talked about
When your heart breaks
it oozes misery
and drips down to your stomach
where it knots and twists
but you can only clench your fists
In the meanderings of my backyard,
I set a glass of ice water on the muddled glass table
Spreckled with rainspots and a splinch more than the grain of salt I asked for.
So finally, someone did it.
I've played this scenario out in my head,
How it would be if someone died.
I always wanted to know how I'd react.
You didn't succeed, no,
Thank God, no.
She wasn’t trash nor the last slice of cakeon the dinner table at your friends gathering that was never touchedShe was a person shattering through the mirrorbecause all four pieces destroyed theastonishing caring girl she once wasShe’s trying and
Found out how life works when I fifteen
Just by looking life from a different perspective it seems
And what lyrical rhymes has taught me
Nothing comes easy
It's hard I know
But As I go
I was lost
Can you please
remind me
where I am?
I must’ve took
a wrong turn
5 years back
that direction
1) You’re never allowed to tell a lie
Unless the lie sounds nicer than the truth
To tell people what they want to hear
2) Everyone is right
Everyone is wrong
She
is nothing more than a masterpiece
trying to master her peace.
She
is her own anchor,
but she's lost at sea.
How could this be?
At night,
she sleeps with her thoughts
I'll be a muse
of your fantasy
and trance
in a vision
you daydream
contemplate
your life
just stare
into space
it’s your dream
May 5, 2018
I'll be darkness
starless
and dark
like a tragic soul
you hide away
shine
in a twilight
just for me
lights and darks
it’s new bright night
I'll be quiet
seductive
and sweet
like a dream
you forgot
run
run away
just go
with the flow
it’s silence
May 5, 2018
He knows what he's doing,
Yet his love is just a game,
False hope, it's just another thing i'm losing,
And it slowly drives me insane.
Look at the clear bright sky tonight
Moon and the Stars above your head
If you wait long enough
You will see a bright light of the lost Perseidas
Shooting stars might show me your face
The light of the Lord
Shines within me.
Where I was once broken
He mended me,
When I felt alone
He was always with me.
When I was lost and hurting
He took me by the hand,
some erotic escape
I need
with your face
with the cosmos
to my aid
with a Fire
and wild desire
romantic play
and zany runway
the thunder
of the heart beating
fast
Invisible wounds from past
Haunt me through the night
In a secret cave of pain
I still feel the fire
Of our last slow dance
Swimming in circles
In the endless feeling
Of my false dreams
run away from you
from my dreams
from my fears
from the pain
you might hide
deep down
in your heart
run away from
smile and sparkle
in your eyes
No more tears left
Your on your own
Sleepless nights
All alone
It shouldn't be this way
Love isn't cold.
Wasted hours
Day and night
Hand on your heart
And all was right
Now i'm laying in a casket
well, do you want to know why?
these stripes across my forearm
i swear they were a cry
i really wanted to tell you
i really wasn't "fine"
but well, you believed me
i wish i didn’t have a last name;
i don’t belong-
anywhere.
my original last name lost its beauty
from the very first day i was hit,
lost its identity.
i became nameless.
Shedding light on flaws
Like street lights above our heads
We relish the rays but stay in the dark
We hide our mirrors
Because our eyes are too keen to see the hidden storms
Thank you for the likes
Thank you for the feels
Thank you for understanding
You were my everything when I had nothing.
Distant love stay around just not around me
I opened my eyes today once that was a game I'd playLearned through heartache and pain.I pray every night you're not dead you're okayDiscovered how to live even in down pouring rain.
She's 3 feet deep
Just below the sea
She's trying to reach the surface
But it's weighing her down underneath
She lost hope for eternity
She's 10 feet deep
Just below the sea
I have seen into the light,
For so long I never had it in me to stand upright,
I was always so pathetic,
I never looked in the mirror as my own worst critic,
It was always up to me,
My poetry is a farce
through which I feign brilliance.
I am of nothing,
nothing remdeemable.
Only triviality
constitutes my blood.
That of which we do not speak
comprises my flesh.
sometimes i find
i want to press myself in a book like a flower
to flatten my spine so my shoulders can be higher
but if my body wasn’t fragile
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know where I'm at.
I don't know where I'm heading,
And I don't know who I am.
The earth beneath me is spinning;
I am here and now I'm not.
I celebrate myself as I mourn myself.
For days I cried, for days I wandered, lost.
For days I was afraid, so afraid.
So lost.
So lost.
For days I rejoiced, life was so good.
Forever, Forever, Forever.
What a hopeless endeavor.
Forever, Forever, Forever.
Please remember me Forever.
Forever, Forever, Forever.
Don't let me fade away into the lost.
Forever, Forever, Forever.
I’m thinking St. Jude has got a hold on me
My head my hands my head
Shaking so violently
Hand me a bottle, babe
I can’t breathe
I need to breathe
Rejected
Isolation
Hurting more than it should
Why did I get so attached?
Please let me be
Don't make me see your face
Beautiful you
Versus ugly me
World shattering
Heart aching
Sometimes my heart doesn't fit in my mouth
Instead, meaningless words tumble out
I wish the right phrases could roll off my tongue
So how much you mean to me could become
Everything takes me back
Back to that moment
That moment when I mumbled
“I love you”
Every song I hear
Sparks a memory,
LOST I cry I wept I wish I wish for something that will never be mine I wish for all too much for my wish wants to see the end of me With glass heart broken Blood running down my hands My cries fall down my face as shards of iceI cry I wept I w
5th year
I was always a giver not a taker.
I bought my her toy, gifts or what ever I made her.
My sister is oldest but I was always the protector.
They say life is unpredictable
That saying is correct
You never know what can occur
Or what will happen next
I never predicted this coming
You left me in a rush
Now when I call your name
They say life is unpredictable
That saying is correct
You never know what can occur
Or what will happen next
I never predicted this coming
You left me in a rush
Now when I call your name
Emotionless through the nights
I thought I had a grip
It's dark through the days
Needing to Bleed It Out
And put myself together again
Impossible to be whole once more
So much has passed so much ruin
Dear passion withholder,
A bright sunny day,
and now there I lay.
Tears flowing from my eyes,
and all i can ask is why?
With one crash;
I see my life flash.
The experiences;
I have these words in inside of me
Tearing me apart
I wish that I could get them out
Get them out my heart
I feel I lived a thousand lives
Dear Unnamed,
I listen to "Over the Rainbow”
its tropical tunes carry my thoughts--
The backseat of our red station wagon
Why even bother,
why even try
to think about someone
who only lies.
Their arms are not
worthy
but I push it
aside
because I don't
know what I will do
It was a fleeting romance,
My main memory is her lips,
The salt water heavy on my own,
It should have prepared me,
For the damage her crashing waves did,
She was a hurricane and I didn’t notice,
She was once a women, Strong and bright, With a magnetic light.A smile so electric,With words so poetic. Bright eyes that gleam,A soul of purity that steamed. Soon darkness began to arise, demanding for silent cries,She screamed and ran for her l
I stand barren until very late spring
in a yard of evergreens and hundred-year oaks
young and a stick figure,
not enough rings under my bark.
A Change of Me
As I pace back and forth in an empty room
where once was never empty and always full.
Dear Sandy,
I come from a remote island
standed in the sea
nonsensically
wanting to tell this to thee,
tell you that:
Words
Oh, how it’s been too long
since I last heard your cherry blossom’s song.
I miss the way you look,
snow here, sun there, and my heart you took.
Oh, how it’s been too long
since I last heard your cherry blossom’s song.
I miss the way you look,
snow here, sun there, and my heart you took.
She's in a new world
Lonely girl, where are your parents?
A new area, so familiar but never explored
Adventure awaits those who seek it
She's taking the next step, just as useless as before
I left a ghost,
on the curb of a suburb at midnight.
We parted ways,
and I mumbled goodbye.
Dear Mr. Anonymous,
What is life like being a mystery?
Is it lonely, and empty,
Or is it full of soul?
Do ever become tired or bored
Once again that my heart shattered
Lights went blackout, no more flickered
My head went full blank
My life I had hang
I thought my life doesn't matter
To the lost boy,
You don’t want to see me dance, or hear me laugh out loud.
I’ll still do both anyway, in hopes I’ll make you proud.
Please don’t miss out on this journey of mine,
dear world,
I hope one day to awake in a place much simpler than this, where color nor age nor race mattered.
Because we really all are the same. We all hold great potential and great success.
dear world,
I hope one day to awake in a place much simpler than this, where color nor age nor race mattered.
Because we really all are the same. We all hold great potential and great success.
He says: “You’re beautiful”
And I smile.
He lies to me over and over again,
But I don’t mind anymore.
He’s the only person I know
Who lies just to make me smile.
He kisses my neck,
I need you to tell me where I went wrong
I’ve spent too many nights, afraid of something I do not know
Terrified, that I might make the same mistake
But it’s a hundred times more powerful than you think
it seems that i am lost
Like i have got no home
i don’t know where i came from
i don’t know where to go
except there’s mountains in the sky
and stars under the ground
She's always surounded by people,
but she's always lonely.
She never runs out of energy,
but she's always tired.
She's always trying her best,
but sometimes her best isn't enough.
I wish there was an off button for the things I think and feel.
A way to hide my broken pieces, and the scraps until they heal.
My head is constant chaos; I worry about all the wrong things.
Dark place
No pieces to fit
Thinking am I good enough
Who shall I be
Either too big or too small
Only odd one of them all
Odd meaning being different
Being different meaning odd
Hello! I am the narrator, and this, is my story.
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess.
Her name was May.
She whispers into the darkness,
to find light.
I do not understand.
If she is trying to find light,
why look in the dark?
I've tried so hard but I can't do anything.
I feel stuck in a place I don't want to be.
I drink to lose the pain,
and I get high to feel free.
I'm a lesbian, yet no one understands
I wait
Wait for the final accolades
Instead life hands me a hundred promenades
Promenades of infinite choices
Appearing in my head as infinite voices
I feel
like
I'm always
on the edge
of something.
Waiting.
For what,
I don't know.
Anything
happy,
or anything
sad,
Dear old soul,
You can not see it clear,
But you are my biggest fear.
You have hurt me with your lies,
And all your "Oh babe lets compromise"
You have stolen my sanity for your own sake.
Emotions of mine
have umlimited meaning
to thus my heart to be fine.
Although yours, has no feeling.
You are the guide of my love
To where you felt the same
When push comes to shove,
Dear friends,
I believe in love, I believe in might
but I'm beginning to lose my sight
of everyone around me, everyone near,
everyone who might be close to hear
that I'm losing myself, losing me
You never know what will happen,
Life goes in unexpected ways.
Through the hard times,
And good times,
Even the indifferent.
They say “when life gives your lemons,
The dress we saw hanging,
shining, sparkling, fringe dangling.
It reeled us in; your money leaving.
You wore it for a time, it's majestic lines falling,
you danced, sang always enjoying.
I am the only person in existence, sitting in
the only room in existence, surrounded
by a sea of darkness
beneath a blackened sky, violent waves
She's walking down a stream of wonder
Searching for the place it's under;
Her eyes oblivious to what they see,
If only she could make believe.
Her mind is open wide this time,
I watched us grow apart,
you found new joy.
Memories, pictures, and moments
I watched them be created.
Without me.
Because I love you.
We spent everyday together,
laughing.
To whom it may concern:
No one knows your name.
And why should they?
What have you done in life
to earn respect, love, to
make your mark?
Nothing.
And you never will.
no light at the end to guide you
even though I'm pointing the way
you will ignore me,
won't you
because you think I speak lies
but I wouldn't lie to you
I couldn't because
you're too deep
I am not okay.
This is all a lie.
I'm not who you think.
Let me clarify.
I spend my days
laughing off my pain;
I spent my nights
silencing my brain.
I appear to have
I don't know if
I'm anxious
or depressed
or suicidal
or really if I even exist.
All I know is
nothing seems real
and all I can feel
is the absolute lack of feeling.
Because I love you I listened to you, Because I love you I cared about you a little too much I lost my self in the process of showing you my love, in
My love, is it you?
i do not want to loose your soul for another because of blindness.
am i blind?
I miss you but i cannot remember who you are and loneliness
Trapped knocking on a cylinder bottle.
Child locked with no safety key
Drowned in odorless desires,
Panting, sweating, boiling,
Whimsically lost in this dismay.
Stumbling upon memories,
Dear Mom,
We've been through alot together,
When you and Dad broke up a was still a baby,
All I know was my blanket and pacifier,
We are freespirited.
Kind.
Compassionate.
Hopeful.
Loving.
But we are hurt.
Tired of hearing about the do's and do not's.
The can's and can not's.
You have consumed my thoughts.
How are you?
You have become a part of my daily routine.
Should I text him?
You drive me crazy.
Why hasn't he replied?
I think I am becoming depressed.
There is a veil over my eyes,One thick, and made of fog,Made of years of sighs,And risen from a malodorous bog,
Surrounded by laughs and smiles While I just listenOnly my ears are openSealed lips shut Words can’t be spoken
A path with nothing to fear.
Walking on a road to nowhere.
A path with nothing to see.
We can chose who we want to be.
White.
White walls,
White floors,
White ceilings.
A splash of red.
My anger.
My regret.
My longing to forget.
Black.
Black ink.
Black thoughts.
Our colour
Blue
The pipes played as the piano sang along its keys, while twelve ladies danced,
Travelling across with unprecedented beauty.
Step by step. No falter could be seen.
Elegance and grace surrounded the sisters.
Loast at sea,
thats what I am.
A little spec surrounded by swirling water,
barely staying afloat
in this storm.
I call out
and there is no answer
as sharks circle about my capsizing raft.
Count the stars
the small latterns that line the sky
to help the moon light the path to tomorrow,
as you try and walk away the sorrows.
Wander aimlessly,
searching for something that is lost
Sleepless for the reason of no more dreams.
For the reason of not having anything to think about.
For the reason of only having nightmares and why things won't happen anymore.
Happiness is sold to the past.
Frost invites my fingertips; it beckons my graspEach flake kisses my lids, and paints my lashes to frostMy palms are graced by the snow, a bliss without costI lift my lids, while each step is answered by the snow’s raspEach eye of ebon sueded is
Oh Alice, Alice
Where did you go
You tripped and stumbled
Right down a rabbit hole.
Oh Cheshire, Cheshire
What do you know
Your heart was on fire
Now its stone cold.
Once upon a time...
Not so very long ago
Before the wind had come to blow
A girl who lived with long blond hair
Came to finally see the snow.
To her delight, and her mother's fright
Standing in a mirror trying to change myself imageLiving with the guilt that daddy couldn'tFinishEvery blow to the brain was a reminderMy momma fell in loveWith a coward Scared to admit he was broken
where are you? are you out there? i promptly awaited a response. nothing but the beating resonance of my heart and an echo of silence in return. i don’t know where you are and i don’t know if you are out there.
I know you don't want to talk to me because you need to breathe
but I'm restless without you
they say the only ones up at 4am are the loved and the lonely
but I'm broken
You see
I’ve been lost, wandering around in the dark
Silently begging for someone to come
Find me.
To lead me out of the dark woods
Shine a light to show me the path out
With a strong hand to keep me from stumbling.
I'm sorry that every other day I want to kill myself
I'm sorry that you think my depression is inconsiderate and rude
I'm sorry that I was shaking so hard I dropped my pen in class
the breath taking sun sent rays of warming, gentle kisses against his bronze skin. dewy, light-green grass grew to his knees. bursts of colorful flowers decorated the field beautifully.
My beloved she waits for me
Amidst a thund’rous roaring sea
Ode to turmoil’s kindly soul
Whose navy waves do crest and roll
Running wild, all aroundStarting to the cold hard groundLoving life, feeling freeEroded rocks, let them beLook into his eyes, look soul deepBlack and empty, down so deepThe warmth of his lips
They say that to get to sunshine,You have to go through rain. But why would you enter the eye of a storm, knowing that all that is possible is causing pain? Everyone says someday it'll be worth it, but they all lied...
11:11pm I wished for you,
I always wish for you.
I think that's what scares me the most, I cant stop wishing for you.
I close my eyes as the tears roll down my cheeks and a shiver crawls down my spine.
She sits on the swing right outside her window.
The window where she use to sneak out of every night.
It's 1 in the morning and her thoughts lead her back.
They say you see
someone’s soul
Through their eyes
I see their souls
In the money they
Slide into my jacket
Lost as I am,
I survived the raid.
Those throwing stones didn't know my name.
Lost as I am,
still I wait.
The patience came from within.
Lost as I am,
I trusted your judgement,
Lost as I am,
I survived the raid.
Those throwing stones didn't know my name.
Lost as I am,
still I wait.
The patience came from within.
Lost as I am,
I trusted your judgement,
Isang litrato mo aking nakita.Di na malarawan mukha mo sa alaala.Para bang isang panaginip ang nagyari sa ating dalawa. Sa panaginip na gusto kong magising at wag na lang ulitin.Isa bang sakit o sumpa.
You're the one i want to tell all my secrets to
I want my fears to dissipate when I'm with you
Like a little kid
When the lights go out
My soul is dark and scary
This there is no doubt
My brain wages a war it cannot face
Hear the sound of the passing wind,Watch the blazing sun of yesteryear.
The water rippled through the galaxy,I watch his back as he face the clouds.
From the rolling commons of the countryside
To the vast expanse of the ocean,
To the comfortable domain of home
"There are many who's
crimson does not hover
beneath your skin.
Many who did not bend
the shape of your nose,
craft the shell to
your ear or
weave circled threads
of blue-gray.
Mirror, mirror on the wall who is worst of them all,
I promise I try to stand tall.
I know I'm ugly, I know im worthless,
My body alone makes me nervous.
You don't have to tell me how bad I am,
Handmade by the divine
Carefully deposited in time
The moment we cross paths
And can't leave the way we came.
Will I ever be ready
And how will I know?
Somehow I'm lovesick
March 6, 2017:
Sorrowful living is a long, desolate path
It’s where you’ll never really feel complete, but you don’t do much to fight it
Because, though you just want to be happy, you don’t know where to begin
March 9, 2017:
We're continuing on this journey of self discovery and fullfilment
We know we're lost, we know we'll probably never truly find ourselves
We spent our teenage years trying to escape our depression
Hello,
My name is broken
A heap of letters left on a tattered floor
Shards of my identity, opaque from the settling dust
Hello,
They say that Home is where the heart is.
That may be well and good,
But truth be told,
As I grow old,
I think they misunderstood.
My heart resides with family, with lovers, and with friends.
Four and a half years after you came into my life you are gone from it
One year of silent staring
Seven months of friendship
One year and four some odd months of dating
And the rest in between,
Well...
A simple touch,
stale
and darkly
remembered,
deep and dead
among empty
feelings.
In time,
would it light
a beginning?
I swear i'll love this town,
if only I can look at it from my cars rear view mirrior.
This Town destroyed me.
I would destroy myself ,
to become your idea of perfection.
Yes, yes, yes
I hear her scream
I hear her tiny footsteps in the hallow way
Her shallow breathing quickening my heart
She is an empty shell of the person I knew
Her soft skin that used to soothe me is abused by her confusion
The wheel of the year started with me in the sleeping death that is ashen winter snow.
Everything that had been there had burned away; only charred remnants were left in the dead sea of what was.
Her smile was fake,
her soul was crushed,
she saw all the bad,
no good in her sight.
The colors were gone,
Do my steps weigh down
This island, and flood my home
In waves of guilt?
These frayed gaps tell me so.
Prayers force their way out of these pages
do you know
how exhausting it was
to rebuild what he had broke?
the walls that he so violently tore down?
the fire within me that he slowly extinguished?
the shelter that left me stripped raw and helpless?
She lies,
And she does it so easily,
She hides,
And she does it so sneakily,
She rips apart hearts,
Around age thirteen, freshman year is where life began for me
Rising up from my cocoon so that the world would take notice of my identity
I was quiet but passionate,
Reserved but determined
I don’t know where I’m headed,
But I wanna know before I go
Which way is right? Which way is left?
Eyes are heavy,
Lies always ready.
Stressed to a degree,
Messed up to a T.
Plans a mess,
What to do with the rest.
Study hard,
Sound like a bard.
Grades are in,
Finally, a win.
And then,
there was silence.
You were just a memory.
Your voice,
your words,
your face,
your smile.
I have never been so lost in my life,
I used to know who I was,
I used to not care so much about what people thought.
I was never really a leader, but now I wasn't even in line.
I smile to keep from crying
Everyday I spend my hours trying
To keep my self denying
That I'm not afraid of dying
And just as a seed on a dandelion do not be afraid to lose yourself in the wind and dance around in the air long enough until you find a suitable home
Reaching out
And reaching out.
Help the helpless
But I am the helpless.
Standing out is too much
Blending in is too little.
Pathetic
never mind
wish i kept it
all inside
i don't matter
you'll soon find
the world got blacker
here, have a blacklight
but i can't see: how that will help
My walls were built up so high and one day they were just…gone.
The thoughts rolling around my head had no words to them.
I forgot how to put my emotion down.
I showed myself off like I had my world put together.
You know what's funny?
The way you seem to think that all is right in the world.
That everything is working out great for you.
But you cannot seem to fathom the destruction,
put onto others, brought on by you.
Few things shape a persons psyche
In a year like a lover
and the first to entice thee
Sixteen shaped me through a love I lost
At the time keeping up no matter the cost
The birth of my brother
Every day, every hour, every minute, every second
It follows me
It surrounds me when I wake up
It follows me throughout the day
It haunts me at night
My mind is distracted by it
This time last year, the only thing I liked about myself was my persistence.
I spent far too many hours crying over who I wish I was,
rather than focusing on how amazing I really am
I sit in the darkness.
No thoughts.
No words.
No shouts.
You lower into the ground.
No thoughts.
No words.
No feelings.
We fall into line.
No thoughts.
This feeling has sunk deep into my soul and I’m afraid that my body isn’t mine anymore.24 hours a day, 7 days a week.There’s no time for resting.This feeling makes me wish that the next day to come unfortunately wouldn’t.
You were there...
When the sun didn't shine,
And the rain fell like my tears.
When the nights were plaugued
Flooded with my fears.
When my anxiety ruled my life,
And living with depression was a fight.
From when I was young it chased me
Underneath my skin and filled the steel frames
I’ve heard that cities are tiny demons with
oils of yellow and white goodness.
I’m constantly holding back tears, I hate the lump in my throat,
I wake up, do my makeup, fix my hair, and throw on my coat,
I walk out the door and into the world,
Here I am everyone, just a lost, vulnerable girl,
It doesn't take much to change a mind,
unless you have one just like mine.
A choice was given to me just last year,
And I could only think "Oh dear, Oh dear."
I had to choose, go left or go right,
Muses are supposed to be:
soft, loving;
passionate, burning;
But you are:
lost, looking.
Your eyes are wide open,
always searching;
you see everything,
but find nothing.
Shadows line the walls
When sun light fades
And darkness falls.
And into the abyss
The tormenting pit
We find ourselves bound.
The ropes of doubt
The shackles of fear
If I sat down beside you would you be mad?
It seems everything I do dissapoints you.
I don't mean to make you cry, I don't mean to make you sad.
But every litte thing I do, dissapoints you.
For once, I have never felt so desperate
judging myself for what I am destined to be.
Most don't find themselves until
it is no longer expected from them.
I am afraid to wait too long.
Angels sweet melodies
Soothing the sensation.
The times go by through and through
Strengthening my disguise.
Lost and alone drifting through life
Nowhere truly found.
Light starting to fade,Flashlight batteries on low.Feet planted on slanted surface,With no friction below.
I used to be
an optimist of old
who sang
laughed
clapped
and taught doubters her many high ways.
Now I am
an optimist of shackles,
weighed and bore down by
tears
Your eyes,
Cold, hard,
Dark as the night sky,
They stare at me,
Empty,
Holding nothing but brittle air,
Saying nothing more than lost love
Lost and cannot be found.
It is in a swirling world that you are bound. You could learn to swim
or you could let things take their tole
and see where they go.
Darkness
Darkness; continuous, deep, perpetual darkness.
Constant. Soulless. Empty dark space.
If I am lost in a storm of doubts or a cloud of fear, call Lindsey.
If I cannot find the will to go on, get Maggie.
If I am in need of light or laughter, text Isabelle or Michelle.
There's no greater feeling than getting
lost
in a book.
While
I read, I am transported to another world.
Reading
is an escape from the stresses of my everyday life. It
is
I can't make a decision, without my parents telling me I'm
Wrong.
I've almost lost my best friend over a boy. I'm
Confused.
Who am I anymore? I'm
Lost.
What Bad Luck. I got lost.
What Good Luck. I found a Game Stop.
What Bad Luck. Its kinda sketchy.
What Good Luck. I found the game I wanted.
What Bad Luck. Its over my budget.
Every day the sun shines brighter.
Every day the birds sing louder.
But to me, every day is dark and mute
because
every day, I have to live without you.
From dusk to dawn I roam the streets
A quiet place where few find peace.
My solace in the rising moon
For many sleep - few to renew.
The silence is my comfort still
As all who weep face the last hill.
When the middle of the night comes,
bleak and lonely, my eyes open to find
the many shades of gray,
constantly echoing off of each other.
Thoughts racing back to that moment,
Have you ever been so lonelyLost in the woodsBut terrified to turn backBecause you know where you came fromThe darkness is unbearableYet you hold yourself to the floorSayingDon’t give up…
My hands are about
as cold and dead
as they can be
without actually being dead.
My hair is about
as long as can be
without actually being long.
My thighs are about
My hands are about
as cold and dead
as they can be
without actually being dead.
My hair is about
as long as can be
without actually being long.
My thighs are about
my stone, my stone
oh my cold stone heart
why are you callaous and set apart?
my black, my black
oh my shriveled black heart?
why when I need you, do you depart?
my hard, my hard
I'm lost
I went the wrong way
And now I don't know which way to go
Up is Down
Left is Right
Red, Blue, Orange, Green
486, 488, 987, 531, 401
Where am I supposed to go?
I want to go home
I try to focus,
but im just too hopeless
8 planets in the universe,
I'm on the coldest
The things that complete us,
seem to leave us broken
i got distracted from success
"Hello?"
No answer.
"Hello?"
I try again.
Still, no answer.
I call yur name,
I get no response.
I scream your name.
I still get no response.
I try to talk to you,
Its 3:00am and here i am still awake
I keep crying and overthinking, but most of all regret
You're even in my dreams, thats why I can't sleep
I know that i'm fucked up, and I know i've made bad choices
a humid haze after a violent stormthe spotted, dying leaf fallen from a maple treethe bitter aftertaste of a sweet treat,the remnants of what was once. one minute, it's so close, you can almost smoke it and the next it's faded, a ghost, you've los
I spend my calm and lonely nights suspended wordlessly in my mind. These nights though saddening are the reason I am me. Thoughts fly by my eyes as images, words, and light. We discover ourselves in that night.
His smile wasn’t always muddled in the shadows
Their hands clasping curls from his head smashing his body into the bus seat
He is strong; not a sound came from him and his tears were locked away
In this world, there are numerous paths to take.
Some involve truth, while others are all about being fake.
The hardest to walk is that which involves Faith.
But you've got nothing to lose, and a whole lot to gain.
But I’m broken.
And now anger overflows within me.
And I still feel lost.
Not because I still love you,
this isn't even about you anymore.
I have never truly been able to find myself.
Confused and lost in a sea of thoughts.
What is my purpose in life? Where will I see myself in the future?
Wanting a special dream to call my own.
12.23.15
Who I am,
I forgot.
What I know,
I just thought.
Where I belong,
I have sought.
When I lie,
I get caught.
Why I live,
I know not.
When I walk, I see my friends
When I stop, I see nothing
Feeling alone as I lay
Feeling only sadness for those I've lost
As I think, I think of a song I've always loved
I remember last winter,
You said it'd be alright.
I looked in your eyes for warmer weather,
But then the fire turned to ice.
What we once had, it was burning,
But now, the flame has gone away.
"The brighter the shadow the darker the light I try to cover it up with the viceIs that giving up the fight Bait from the or maybe gift from christ Either way I won't take a bite
your eyes
were a much deeper blue than i thought
causing me to dive inside
to run around and get lost
but i'm terrified that by tomorrow
you won't be there like before
and i won't have your eyes
I slowly closed my eyes.
Awake in the forest.
The background of blurred colors began to die.
I still saw your silhouette staring back at mines.
When I was younger.
I weeped.
No illuminating grass,
No water for miles,
The Sun beat down agressively,
I shielded my eyes,
Lost,
The only word to describe me,
Where am I?
Where should I be?
Can anyone love me?
Would anybody be willing to withstand
My horrible insecurity,
The side of me I hide?
Would you be willing to tell me
It will be alright,
When you know I don't believe you?
It reassures me
Yet it used to
Annoy me so much
Thinking about
My choices being made
Without me as a thought
But for some reason
It now becomes a medicine
I plead for it
Nothing stands out
Numbness takes over
Robotic movements
Apathy bleeds in
And emotions
Fade away
Muted and dim
Somewhere
In the background
While a being
With no face
Where to go
What to do
I'm so confused
Heart aching
Torn in two
I always knew
Somewhere
Deep inside
This feeling
Of being lost
But knowing
And feeling
What is going on
Chaos ensuing
The scene in a daze
A hazy fog drifts in
What am I
And everything collapses
Who are you
And memories fade
The ground below you falls
She woke up every day with colors in her head.
Visions of blue and green, pink and purple, and pounding blood red.
The girl tried to capture the fleeting moment, to pin it down in her mind,
Blood pulsing in your veins
Feral growls passing through
Eyebrows knit together
All aimed at you
Limbs quaking with anger
Hands curl into fists
Shaking to slam one
Into a wall
A floor
Stretching on and on
For miles and miles
Everything pure white
And dull gray
And dirt brown
A path of gravel
Your footsteps echo
In the silence
By themselves
Nobody else
Oh God.
How did I get here
The world has grown to big
I've only grown in fear
This morning.
I swear it was this morning.
I woke in my mothers' arms
I was so big then.
you had said,"i wish i had a clone...i want to make you happy...and i want to be there for youas much as you want me to be...i want to be the one."
Robert Frost said there would be two roads
but the closer I get to them
I see paths, trails, and streams you can paddle down
the problem is not which one to pick
but where am I going exactly
I know that you are out there!
Please come and talk,
To a girl who feels all alone,
A girl that feels so lost.
I am bisexual,
Yes, we exist.
I am not hiding that I am gay,
Escape the ordinary into the vast expansion of the mind
Where happiness, love, and sorrow blend together
to create the lives of
the loved the lost and the liberated
Every text that I got
Every vibration I felt
About you is what I thought
& my heart just melt
The second I saw, it's not you,
my mind just blew.
I cannot stop thinking about you.
A lost soul
just another in a night full of us
spent another hour on the city bus
staring out the window
wondering if I can achieve my dreams like winslow
feelings strange on this eve
A little girl
She wanders in the night
Searching for home
Five years old with no place to go
She doesn't understand why
No one can see her
No one can hear her
No one hears her cries for help
Someday the time may come, when I, no longer able to distinguish the line between reality and nonentity, will accept the illusions and leave behind this materialistic world. Could you pull me back if I slipped away? Would you catch me if I ever fe
Darkness envelopes within the soul.
Consuming first from the edges like a t-shirt stained with blood
We look into ourselves for hope
You are a disease
Infesting the corners of my mind
Rotting my perception of others
Lingering in the darkest places
Hidden in plain sight
like a lion in the prairie
He sees you, yet is not seen
He hears you, yet is not heard
But by the ears of the spirit
Maybe I am going insane.
When I want to break down,
Cry for the stupidest thing.
Cry over the fact that I hate myself,
That I will never be good enough for you,
Absolutely not for myself.
Her tears fell down her face
As she let her crown fall
He picked her up slowly
Knowing she no longer trusted him
He kept repeating sorry
But all she felt was the vibration of his lies
The storm rages on inside,I'm drowning in this deep sea.I steel myself against it,Praying you'd rescue me.
I have been put down
In the harshest of ways
And I cannot frown
Because it is not you who deserves the blame.
I've cried, I've weeped, I've screamed
Can you not see me??
Tell me have I become of a burden
You've taken me into oblivian
Can you not see me??
false
too confused to know the truth
lost
but what was lost, was it you?
who I don't recognize
when did I lose you
was it when you shouted?
or when you laughed?
when did innocence become insanity?
even the voices in my head are sick of me
wish they wouldn't feed the beast
that I now have named Agony
but I swear it wasn't really me
it fed on words from humanity
Leap of faith into the wind,
Parachute back in resemblance of the staggered memories of independence.
The title, "us!" is presented with both neighboring feelings of worry and hope,
Dreams die as people dine with fishes,
Life is sand in an ever-draining hourglass,
To float on murdered wishes
Is laying waste in the mind only to harass,
Flow not, wander on always
And find the soul lost,
Which way should we go
In this land of woe
The sky has fallen to darkness
The people broken and heartless
Which way should we go
What if I were stuck on an island,
All alone?
What is one thing I need?
Love.
Love is one thing I need.
I need to feel loved.
Sitting here in shadowed sorrow
Not knowing the true pain of tomarrow
Unable to see another face
Being stuck here in this isolated place
No recognition to be found
Gustling of wind is the only sound
I watch the wave,
come in,
go out,
come in,
go out.
Softly brushing the white sand,
of a bloody beach.
We're living in a society where 13 and 14 year old girls dream of a relationship even remotely close to 'Fifty Shades of Grey' but can't even tolerate the cramps coming from the heavy flow of their monthly red room of pain.
When I was a baby I looked at you as if you were the sky
I grew a little and looked at you like a princess
I grew a little more and discovered that you were a queen
find me lost in the middle of oblivion
tied to a pole in my thoughts of just givin in
like I'm trying to fight the very waves of the ocean
cause I can't find a vent for all this emotion
I wonder when you bought this, did you think about the stone?
The jagged purple gem meant to prevent a drunken bone.
Or did you buy it on whim to make up for a drinking binge?
I tried to write about the sparkle in the snow,
but it turned into a poem about your eyes
so I decided to write aboout the winter winds,
but it only described the aftermath of you leaving
I never felt safer laying in his arms, seemed like a story.
My happy place
I never felt more in love listening to his stories, living in a fairy tale.
My happy place
The stirring of shadows
The waking of dreams
A last stand in battle
No one hears you scream
But you made it through
Which is worse to you
Pretending to be okay
shake off this feeling
it's just a phase
but my heart takes a beating
when I catch your gaze
the time that he's stealing
my sould it does raze
but since I know your feelings
Please let me sleep
Stop showing up when I close my eyes
Stop haunting me
Stop lingering at the end of every thought
Please leave me alone
And just let me sleep
Stop speaking words that only I can hear
At night I feel you hold me,Whispering all the things you never told me.When I wake up you'll be goneBut for now, I dream on.
Without him,
I wouldn't be here
Or anywhere.
I'd be nowhere;
I wouldn't exist.
Without him,
I wouldn't know family
Or love.
I'd be lost;
I'd be alone.
The next logical step, now that I’m on a deserted island, is to kill myself.
Plunge into the water and sink onto part of a marine shelf.
After all, how long can I last here?
and our love story is different.
we didn’t end badly or terribly.
we didn’t end hating each other or regretting once said promises.
we ended by force.
I've been finding myself lost in thought quite often.
I feel differently than those who are around me.
In a way its almost relieving,
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" A question frequently asked by many. Growing up I've had everything a young child could ask for. I had a stable home, a mom, a dad, and endless amounts of toys.
I don’t really get quiet moments.
Between noisy conversations in overcrowded hallways
And my own intrusive thoughts,
Silence has ceased to exist in my life.
Even while I’m stuck on this god-forsaken island
I sit there in silence,
Alone in the dark,
Listening to the soft hum
Of the words that float around
In a familiar and gentle sound.
Staring at the empty room before me,
Wondering where I went wrong.
If I were lost,
in a paradise unfound
the only thing
that I would need
is to keep my sanity
While others would say
For the girl whose laughter filled the room,
And the boy with the eyes, so brilliantly blue,
In the silent graves and the darkest tomb,
We in the starlight remember you.
We remember the way she splashed in the pool,
Afloat in the body of an endless sea
Drenched suffocating as the shores no sight to me
Fight to be loved
Loving to fight
The night holds me tight when I struggle for light
Blood in the eyes of a sun that cries
I saw
The shadows feed
I fall
Finally cut too deep
I call
Out can't you see?
I'm flawed
So from the heart I bleed
I'm lost
Give up I'm finally beat
They killed
She is a girl.Living off the sustenance of guys' attentions.She is hurling aroundat a million miles an hour.Out of control.But she needs it,you see.If she slows or stops,she might remember
I have sent you a dove,
It carries to you a note,
Telling you of my love.
I want to tell you of above,
The skies giving our planet a coat.
I have sent you a dove,
It carries to you a note,
Telling you of my love.
I want to tell you of above,
The skies giving our planet a coat.
"A deadly weapon in disguise
But i keep my head down
Horror fills their eyes
I search for patterns on the ground
Bright lights fills night skies
But I still feel bound
I look up wishing I could fly
"Dancing shadows
Deep and dark
Flying arrows
Met their mark
Weary gallows
Done their part
No more follow
Lost their heart
Inside is hollow
They lost their spark
"Broken bones
Broken mind
How could I
Be so blind
Broken hope
Broken staff
I though you
Once had my back
But it wasn't true
As i onced belived
"The best of us fall sometimes
The strongest lose their minds
The warriors break through binds
Guided like we wear blinds
But the chaos is in our minds
We change but not in time
"When the darkness rules
And the moon falls apart
The world is made of fools
And it's tearing at my heart
What I've learned is not from school
And I no longer care to start
The ocean expanse is full
"Try, just try
They shout across the void
But false hope,like a lie
It's my mind with which they toyed
But real are the tears in which i cried
Am I more than a mindless droid?
Not to them
"The soldier
Wounded in the fight
The lawyer
Finding out whats right
The paster
Showing others light
The family
Holding on so tight
The author
Giving courage when he writes
"It's your name i call
Until my throat is raw
Because i know you saw
How, with my fatal flaw
I felt your absense like a claw
But still more poisin there is to draw,
Out from the wound
Never take life for granted
Always wake up with a smile
The ones we love cannot be supplanted
And you might only be here for a little while
"I am lost,
Here alone
As though the frost
Has reached my bones
I am tossed
Onto the stone
As my smile is a clone
Tears run free, you should have known
all that's left is skin and bone."
"When will the dying end?
when you shed your last tears
Tired of smiles being just pretend
But too scared to face our fears
When will the hate cave in?
Only crying when no one hears
"Your smile fades
As you look away
I see the broken pain
That is causing me shame
Why couldn't I see
What was pointed out so clearly
I went looking for trouble
But it was right in front of me
"Footsteps through the fire
But I don't feel a thing
Burning even brighter
I sour on angel wings
Down in a ditch
I can see the light
If I could only reach
I try with all my might
"A battle within a battle
A heart within a heart
I'd be lost without you
I don't know where to start
But as I look away
My anger turns to shame
To yell would not be right
"When anger finds me buried deep
The hurt inside might make me weep
I try and take one final breath
Before I meet a friend called Death
Must go on
Must break free
But Anger tries to keep it from me
"The day of death grows closer still
All the while I hold the pill
To make or break this path I've chosen
Will I choose the water or poison
For the path of God is never easy
"The wolves inside my head
Gnawing at my brain
Try to take my essence
And flush it down the drain
Remember who I am
If it's those wolves I tame
If I can't defeat them
I might just be too late
So I’m actually stranded here on this deserted islandIt’s kind of ironic how many times I played that game when I was youngerWhere you pick three objects to bring with youThe heat is unbearable
Must I be patient for my own demise?
I do not know what is out there,
beyond crests of time,
pillows of snow
&
schemes of wonder.
Lust towards unknown
and unheard of
realities.
Awake...Another dream to bring me back to this cold, lonely existence
Alone...Left to suffer in silence as no one will hear my cries
Awake on such a night as this to ponder why...
I love her more than I think she loves herself.
I look at her and see so many things.
I remember oh so well the mask she wore everyday.
The smile that was plastered on her face.
A circle of unfamiliar colors filled the air as I walked, astounded.
A deeper, winding street caught my attention,
A child, I walked forward and my imagination knew so much more than my eyes.
I dream of you.
Standing next to a car with leather seats that became too hot in the summer.
With eyes, golden as the embers in a fire
With arms, hugging me tightly
With lips. that kissedmy forehead when I was sick
I dug myself a grave in the ground
It was like 60 feet down
For years I'd walk the edge
Then one day I fell like a rebound
In that dark that was musky too
Though I was alone I still heard the "I NEED YOU"s
Christmas Lights, Whose power so bright. But not brighter than the grimaces hung from every face in sight. Joyous music fills the air, Holiday decorations fashioned everywhere. But not a holiday spirit can be found, not here, nor there.
With nowhere left to turn
Here is your opportunity to find yourself
You seem lost and disoriented
Just get yourself some help
You can turn it all around
All you have to do is try
I hear your voice
As I sit in the silence of my lonely red bedroom
I hear your voice
As I try to convince myself that I don’t need one more drink
I hear your voice
Sometimes the hardest thing is not being sick.
Watching the world drag by from a second story window,
too far away for anyone to notice, too separated for anyone to care.
In stagnant waters of the soul,
We hold to memory's from long ago.
But,.. if in time we do not keep,
From our lips we'll pray to keep.
Secrets of the soul we leak,
The joys and subtle tragedies.
A cloud in my mind, like that you would see on a gentle summer day.
Twisting,turning,changing each moment a new thought more entrancing then the last
Simple though like the memory's of a child .
All my life I have hid behind a smile
I laugh and smirk and smile when on the inside I am slowly dying
I look back on my life and feel nothing, but regret
Dismember me
Pull me apart piece by piece
Torture me
Hear my screams
Break me
Then put me back together
The stars and moon shine above
Rooftops housing dreaming children
Dreams of flying
Of an island with trees and forests,
Of jungles and beaches,
A bit of everything for a bit of everyone
I have built myselfFrom the ashesOthers will not determine My fateTired of being the girlIn the shadowsI will Take your breath awayYour opinion No longer mattersIt is Dead to meI will riseTo the occasion And defeat My inner enemy
Moments
There must have been one point in your life when you were secure, when your view of the world was unworn and pure, not filled with cruelty and utter despair.
She stands there
Staring at the mirror
Multiple thoughts race through her head
The voices tell at her
They put her down
She starts to cry
She looks in the mirror
She can't recognize this person
I called a thousand times last night
But you were never there
I wore my voice out crying
But I know that you don't care
What happened to the kingdom
We built from blood and ash
It's easier to be lost then found.
I've been alone for so long,
I forget how to interact with others,
I feel wrong.
With all my attempts i wonder if I'll ever stop trying to be seen.
When asked what I remember about my childhood, I will answer “smoke;”
There’s a lingering, hovering cloud in all my most recallable memories.
His kiss was of goldStaining her lips with the markOf innocence lost.
His fingertips leftGilded prints, painted on herLovely face with care.
Polished AdonisThough he was, the sun cannotShine on forever.
"Who Am I?"
A Question I now ask myself daily.
Am I the girl who smiles at random strangers?
Am I the girl who hands the homeless a sandwich?
Or am I the girl who is lost?
In elementary school I had so many friends.
Nobody cared what you looked like
or the clothes you wore.
But now that I'm older and high school is here,
there's judgement all around.
I used to be so confident,
When you miss that boy
And your nights are derived of joy
Do you ever stare at the stars
And wonder where you are?
What you are doing here
With a heart and mind so unclear
And a Destiny destroyed by work
If i disappear will you look for me?
In the misty spring nights
And beneath the willow tree
And where the deer fight?
People identify themselves by what they see, and who they are near.
I must be violent, coarse and rugged,
I must be angry, broke and thuggish,
I can't be forgiving let alone loving.
Initially, this wasn’t exactly the reality of the story I imagined I would be strolling through.
Madness intertwined in my balance,
There was a couple who lived for each other but he considered himself an outcast, a no one.
Two hearts that were one, just like two burning stars.
Her creator created a star for every day their true loved burned.
Don't know where I'm at
Can't see where I'm going
Nothing seems clear anymore and
I'm losing my faith
Hope is gone
Defeat staring in my face
I'm scared
I pray
I began on a rainy, cold fall night.
I was an ‘accident.’
The shaking hands and rage encompassed shock of my mother.
The free money and sedentary existence of my father.
In a world this size
It's quite easy to feel small and unimportant
But you can't let that get to you
Because the moment it touches you
You're lost forever
I'm just an observer...
Nothing more,
Perhaps something less.
All that ive ever done,
Is float helplessly in a world with people just as lost as me.
So from time to time,
They robbed it from my comfort
They wrenched it from my grip
It’s in the past, quite far away,
A memory about to slip.
It left, leaving me caution
The scenery from view.
betrayal
and aching in your lungs
the last half-sip of wine
no u-turns
one
missing
stitch
bleeding ink on left hands
whys and what-ifs
alone at a table
my father
reduced
to a pile of belongings
"a seperate load"
on moving day
to be locked in a storage unti
abandonded
worn clothes donated to charity
I am found.
For 7442 days, I was lost
Stranded with little knowledge of where I came, what I was.
I've become one, one with myself, one with society, one with mind, one with culture, one with any and everything he or she fines comfortable in their own lives.
The monster took over his mind.
Leaving him with nothing but the thought of drugs.
Everyday I lose more and more sight of him.
Standing here by myself with no way to help.
The monster became more important than me.
April 12, 2013
I had blue frosting on my lips, face covered in lies. You walked in and placed your keys in your coat pocket, "You lied, we can't be friends, Happy Birthday Erica" you said tears in your eyes and I said my goodbyes..
Encapsulated in an island of soot and ash, Shrouded in poisonous smoke, my eyes strain to see the star,
Although she shines like a star
She's not aware of what we are
She lives in ignorance, a blissful peace
Instead she basks in yonder feast
Of the world of desire,
She couldn't burn brighter
Life changes and everything about me is new.But there's one thing that's always stayed the same...I still hate myself the same as yesterday,and I still think of death like it's unavoidable.
Darkness engulfs,clouded by despair.Surrounding the peacefulness,eroding it from within.Discontent follows,maddened by grief.Unpleasantly distraught,lacking true desire.
Cherry blossoms, look my way.
Express the right way for me to go,
Oh, how your perfect petals sway.
The deepened thoughts of those who pass high and low,
Fallen, have you?
Thats alright.
You'll still live
To see the light.
Lost your place?
Turn around.
I'll be there,
Then you're found.
Blurry vision?
Take a breath.
I fill ye treasure cove wit’ rubies ’n dimes
They be not essences from th' heavens,
Bein’ scratched from stolen times
Go 'head, pry like a slimy oyster,
Throw away those super hero t-shirts and draws,
Take a look at these women in their bras.
Trade in those sketchers,
And let's get you some J's,
Cut that ponytail off
And get a fade.
I woke up craving you.
What is really new?
I love you,
But do you really love me too?
Or is that just more lies
that I believe when looking
into those pretty hazel eyes.
I lost another poemthis morningin the early airbetween my home and my carI failed to net itput it in my poem jarit flew awaywill it be aroundsomewhereover therewhen I get back?
remember when you told me about the monsters?
how they take over,
& get inside your head,
& they stay-
for a really long time.
they're only gone every once in a while,
A little more nice and kind,
But it seems you were evil while I was blind,
Looking your way
Is like night and day
For I know that your glance won't return.
Do I kid with myself?
Are you out of your shell?
Or will feelings continue to burn?
I'm here to sleep
like America is today
never to speak
Just follow a path one way
who needs art
when you're molded like clay
Rip out the part
that we wish would stay
Often I find myself in thought
Silent on the outside, screaming on the inside
Internally I fought
He walks at home
in the streets alone
a lone light Glimmers
as his day starts to fade
a satchel for his car
and a lighter for his fuel
he drifts off into another star evening
I wish I knew who I am
I've just always been his wife
His rock & friend
So who would I be without him in my life?
I miss him so much but its not what you think
You say that you care is it really true, I'm hurt I'm bleeding all because of you, it was perfect before what's going on now. Have you found another heart? Are you playing around? Wiping tears from my eyes. Something you use to do.
Thoughts keep rolling in and out of my mind like kids hyped up suger
On a day to day basis I keep thinking to myself,
My heart is a dull thud in my chest. Drained from all life, it struggles to beat once, twice,
Do you think its ok
to keep trying
even though you are not
good enough
Do you think that
its ok to keep going
even though you have tried hard
but still have tasted defeat
I think I might have just been
born of a disease.
A disease where slowly my
flesh peels away
at the slightest remarks.
Where my eyes become to full
and my heart become to weak
it started with a wave
no
a tsunami.
it started with a tsunami
bringing chaos to the order
crushing the structure
flooding normal
until i was drowning in an endless ocean
Anonymous, AnonymousDo you find yourself stressing constantly?Are you lost as to where you went wrong in this crazy life nonsense?Are you unsure of who you are....Or what your life should represent?
What if i told you there is hope?
What if I told you there is an end?
Would you believe me?
I’m mental.
I’m losing what’s left of my rapidly
deteriorating mind.
Its hard to understand a basket
case.
No one really does.
Unfortunate.
She drowns in the depths of depression.
Necessity.
She needs to get away.
Escape.
She vies for freedom.
Personality.
What's that?
I've been searching for hours,
to find a reason why.
It's 2 A.M.
and I'm running circles in my mind.
I whisper prayers
that go unheard.
I wonder when
my thoughts will turn.
To happy days
The day I see you
is the day I find myself.
Every day, I look outside the window
and see what appears to be
never seems to be
what I want to see.
Just today, I see you walking
I gave you my heart and soul
this love has taken it toll
for you never loved me
you used me as a key
to open a door to my friends heart
while you teared mine apart
I encouraged myself,
I mounted on a voyage to the far reaches of space
a spaceship fueled by the sadness of my heart
a pioneer of the cold, the void, and the emptiness
You are not my puppeteer
I have feelings, emotions
Thoughts
I can feel pain
I can speak on my own
I can love the people I chose to love
I am not bound by strings
tired.
that's the one word that constantly replays in my head.
sadness.
a terrible feeling, like you're sinking down, down, down into the depths of the sea of despair :(
lonely.
Shut Up!!
Shut Up!!
Just Stop Talking!!!
Wait, never mind.
With everyone quiet
I can hear myself think.
Is this how it feels
Like your heart is slowing ripping away
Your mind slowly shutting down
Everything getting blurred
No longer able to hear
Breathing gets labor
I never thought this day would come,
I wasn’t prepared for this to happen,
I cry myself to sleep every night,
I can’t accept the fact that you are gone.
Your eyes are like the ocean
full of secrets
someone could get lost
by staring to long
some people enjoy them
yet some people never
have yet to experience them
Lost
In this world of chaos
Lost
In between confusion
Lost
In my own mind
Where am i?
Where am i going?
So much noise
So many colors
I feel so lost in the midst of it all
When I close my eyes, I see you with your arms wrapped around my waist: I feel loved.
I have an obsession with quotes because other people are so much better than I am at putting my feeling into words.
Who am I?
A doctor, writer, or biologist
A musician, detective, or radiologist
Who am I?
A dancer, veterinarian , or accountant
A teacher, athlete, or consultant
Who am I?
The tears that are surfacing upon my eyes and leaving glistening trails of a salty substance are not there for the comfort you had given me.
You are not alone
Sleepy eyes
Purple crescents burn bright under them
Boney knees
Baggy pants conceal lack of nutrition
A broken heart, longing to stop beating
It screams in agony
I hang around In this room I pretend that I own,
I feel so ungreatfull for the life I've been thrown,
and the friends I have grown,
In a house full of homies and I still can't help feeling alone,
Trying to invent myself.
I'll juggle it all and make all the right choices.
I'm overwhelmed.
Like a cloud stretching to cover the entire Earth.
It reminds me that I am small.
Would a filter be typing?
Would a filter mean no erasing?
Does that mean I can't correct my grammar?
I'm going to give you the realest me there is, no bullsh*t.
Well, to begin, my appearance.
You've gotten fingerprints,
All over my favorite movies and songs
I wanted to kiss my name off your lips,
Taking back my identity
It’s late, and I’m coming down with a cold,
Or something of the sort.
I should be sleeping,
But I’m not ready
And yet, I don’t want to be awake either.
Can I just stop existing for a little while?
As I stare outside the window today,
I see little children with a ball they play
Happily on the street together today.
As I stare outside the window,
I remember our time back then,
Where are we now?
I want to forget the past
But I keep trying to make the memories last
I know I’m only hurting myself
I am a parasite
Love, masked in depression
Darkness conjured from the light
The familiarity is lost on me
Suicide is too disgraceful
I feel numb, the pain no longer subsides
I am a parasite
Love, masked in depression
Darkness conjured from the light
The familiarity is lost on me
Suicide is too disgraceful
I feel numb, the pain no longer subsides
My mind is a land
Where poetry is created and hidden from view
Stories written and shared with a select few
My mind is a place where you'll get lost
With no map to guide you
I remember watching him sleep,
his eyes fleeting back and forth under their lids.
I remember him drawing long breaths,
and his heartbeat wavering in his chest.
She isn't hopeless
She isn't worthless
She isn't mediocre
She isn't ugly
She isn't alone
She knows this.
She feels hate
She feels shame
She feels guilt
She feels regret
May 15th
Nothing can change my love for you.
Everything just happened so fast.
I wonder, what if I knew,
before you became our past
just who you were?
Water running down my face, as today i decide my fate
going or stayin wouldn't even matter
Would it?
I lay my head on your shoulder, Cuddle with you while the day is over. I lay my hand on your chest, viewing you as a form of protection, my vest. Clearing my mind of the rest, in that moment, I realize...Im yours and your mine.
Eyes burn into me,
I feel them on me,
I don't know where from,
Goosebumps cover my body,
I feel a presence...
Next to me...
Behind me...
All around me...
Every answer is a lie,
Every night it all unfolds.
Only when I'd rather die
Is when the truth is told.
Every answer is one I hide,
It scares me more than you know
Because when I search,
I hope I forget your eyes
And that I couldn't look way.
I hope I forget your smile
Because it makes me wish you'd stay.
I hope I never call you
When its late and I can't sleep.
Bleeding because it paints the pictures
so heavily spilled
in my mind.
And seeing the crimson upon my skin
Gives me pain that makes me real.
Crying because
It makes me view
A permanent reminder runs crooked down his chest
a seam, a scar, still raw, deep, and red
he is in debt to a strangers hand, loses rest
for fear of failing his second chance
They keep trying to tell me I should be happy.
Ok, I am really trying,
I mean honestly I ain't cut in almost 10 months now.
People say that it's pathetic when someone is that sad,
The words I speak
Just float Softly Away
Never being heard
It's no one's fault
i think, i guess
But truthfully, It hurts
I apologize
Within my heart lay a gap that I cannot fill
A gash within my emotions that lay unhealed
This wound inflicted bleeds deep within me
This stream of emotions wil never heed
A cloud of thoughts loom in my mind
As I pick up my violin,
And rosin the bow,
I feel ready to let the music free,
One small note,
Then a scale,
One by one,
The notes fly,
And when the last note turns to mute,
I flinch.
False consensus effect strikes again.
I'm not afraid of your touch. Fear has no position on the playing field.
you recoil, my body like a stovetop to the touch.
Conscious calls when I close my eyes
Every moment of my life flies into me at one time
Thoughts collide like cars, crash inside my head
The fire burning in my eyes will not extinguish,
IS it crazy for me to image myself different in the sight of what my past was.
i'm not too sure which hurt worse
the cuts on my skin or the memories behind them
the break up or the break down that occured first
the purging or the comments that pushed me to do it
I.
when the boy drawn to priesthood kissed me, his mouth burned.
with triple-layer onion skin and a crucifix tongue, he tumbled
down from a cloud at 9 and snapped his legs in half.
Where do we go when we are lost?
Where can we find ourselves and what’s the cost?
I’m searching of the girl I once was.
Looking and looking, where can she be?
I see a girl, is it me?
I'm a Marionette,Your lifeless little toy,Anyone can play with me,Be they girl or boy.The wires tied around my arms,You control them as you wishYou can break my heart and cause me harm
I'm hurting so bad...
She doesn't know
Cause she's glad
I'm not in her show,
I meant life,
But its the same
I want a knife
No more of the shame
Most memorable moments come and go.
The hurt and scars from underneith are the ones that don't show.
Being happy is just a phase, and dying is just a race.
Moments that gernerate smiles are the ones worth the miles.
I close my eyes and count to seven
but when i wake im far from heaven
i find that i am still in hell,
no anglic bells and my heavy heart swells
and though i feel im 'bout to burst
A wolf alone in the wood,
Not by choice but by cruel fate,
A social animal without a pack,
A mind consumed by hate.
Will you not take in the wolf?
No, of course, no one would,
people will never recognized a simple girl.
who is like other girls, simple as a paper flower.
who really is nothing compare to the real flowers.
whose color and petals are different from others.
When I was 15 I lost my parents,
My mom and dad is in heaven now,
Sitting up in the clouds watching me everyday,
I am tired and lost in my empty world
Looking for answers to my questions
Where do I belong?
Where do I go next?
What am I missing?
Am I in the wrong life?
Is it my hair, too short and too straight?
The key to mystery is balance;
Though, I suppose, it doesn't really matter if you're not trying.
Sometimes the silence doesn't hang quite as heavy as it used to
I walk around, wondering.
I wonder, how will the future be.
The future seems promising.
The promise is withheld by each individual.
Each individual seems unknown of the promise to withhold.
Feeling that I may love you isn't enough for me
it seems that I need to anticipate your company
I have to yearn for your touch and embrace,
waiting diligently all day to see your face
It's easier to be alone where you know no one can touch you.
It's easier to be alone because you don't have to care for anyone.
It's easier to be alone because you know you can't hurt anyone.
Tomorrow Tomorrow
That is when you will be all mine
When our hands fold like cards
When I feel your marrow against mine
All my life
I have been unwrapped
My ribs glossy-exposed
My lips made of glass
They have told me to learn
And I have taught myself to listen
While ignoring what is important
He loved me once
Everyday he told me so.
Anytime of the day it didn't matter.
Right there beside me or
There in the middle of the day.
space between us grew bigger and bigger
I don't know what I want.
All I know is what I've been told.
But are my thoughts truly my own?
Does that make them mine,
Or are they something instilled?
You'd never see me
The true me, the real one inside
Because my heart's been broken and I've learnt how to hide
I took my feelings and locked them in a cage
And there they've stayed while I have aged
I am a woman behind a curtain,
and that's something that I find difficult to accept.
Keeping lies, and secrets, I seem to always let
them take advantage of every part of me
my heart, my lips, my eyes.
Walking away from this pain,
Leaving it behind,
To try and see,
A new light.
I thought I was okay till i found myself in a new place.
peope tell me i'l be okay, i'll be alright. but I can't belive them at all.
Many times we sacrifice hopes and dreams thinking that by doing so we will achieve bigger dreams.
We don't understand how many we lose in the road until we look back.
Forgive me for always wanting to be in love,
I know it sounds dumb and stupid.
But I rather be in love and feel it’s warmth then hurt from the outcome
Of its winter cold.
A million stars up in the sky
one shines brighter I can't deny
A love so precious a love so true
a love that comes from me to you
The angels sing when you are near
within your arms I have nothing to fear
I loathe your addiction to cigarettesand the women you go to seebecause one is killing you
It's not how I look,
Or how I walk.
It's how I react,
When something's gone wrong.
As life goes on,
There will be up's and down's.
I try to survive,
With the least amount of frowns.
Gay.
Respectable.
Intelligent.
Deviant.
I'm all of these things
And none of them.
My identity is contradictory.
Exsistence, a paradox.
Wandering and lost
As the crowd’s conclusions falls to hush
I could make the joker spin and blush
At the lies I tell and the mask I wear
At the chances I take in double dares
My skin changes colors as chameleons
There are some days you wake up and wonder why her name isn't lit up on your phone
Or when you get news good or bad you know she doesn't care
This poem took a minute
Cause i had so many thoughts going on in my head
I didn't know what was right and what was wrong
It seemed as though my world has been turned
And i don't know if it was for the best
This fear I feel is formed from my imagination. Constantly contemplating where my life will be stationed.
As I write this poem,
I realize just how much of myself I've lost while I wear my favorite accessory,
I'm lost.
In a place where I won't be found.
In a place where no one cares.
I'm lost.
No one looks for me.
No one wants to find me.
I'm lost.
In my life.
In my dreams.
Crashing down,falling hardBroken dreams, broken heartI guess I'm not really sure where to startPicking up after your goneWide awake at night, listening to our old songs
Its so beautiful
So enthralling
Life
There are so many tangents
So many decisions that can be made
Adventures
Things to see and people to meet
It has become overwhelming
My mom likes to think I'm just like her
That I love crowds of people and constant noise
That I love calling all attention to myself
And that I like conflict
My mom thinks I hide my real self from the world
every night i sit
watching the stars dance infinitely
hoping somehwere you are sitting
watching
waiting
wondering
if i am doing the same
The pale ghost stares at the filthy mirror.
He sees not himself; with that happy scowl and playful temperment.
The pale ghost makes the suface clearer.
He sees not himself, but his own warm disembodiment.
Stress, sadness, fear,wory. I have a mask to cover
that up. Boredom, anger, doubt, loneliness, confusion,
regret. I can hide it. There truly is no know emotion
I wanted to tell you how I feel,
But I don't want you to run away;
For the ones who I care for and love the most
Happines where is it?
I sit & wonder will I ever get it?
My fake happines is fading each day
No one can tho its just me
I can only keep this act up for long
My my another life lost
Behind enemy lines
Did we do anything?
Did we pa their price?
Or just watch
Watch out loved ones die?
We hae lost the ones who gave it all
While we did nothing
In a too familiar whim of feeling drowned,
I jump onto this raft that manifests
If you dusted my skin for fingerprints you would find a multitude of people have touched me in all of the most
Do I know you?
The words you pronounce
are so ugly and dirty,
But you say they fit me just
perfectly.
Do I know you?
No, I do not
but here I am lying on the floor
I used to be different
The world was brighter
I always had a smile
Nothing could bring me down
As a child your life is spinning,
out into this world you find yourself
lost on a merry go round.
Why can't anyone see the me that is truly me?
All they see is a mask
That does the un me task
the one that shows no fear
the one who is not really here
I wish to show you the me that is really me
People from across the globe fall in love
from house to house or thousand of miles away
Never meeting except online
what if you met that person face to face
would all those feeling come flooding back
When the ocean is far awayand the wind is full of sand instead of salt,I dive back into the green pools offorgotten peace in your eyes.I swim through lakes of cheap vodkaand expensive memories.
in this moment, I did die.
the smile on your lips.
the soft touch of your skin.
the twinkle in your eye.
in this moment, I could die.
the sound of your breathing.
the rhythm of your heart beating.
You're like a faded memory,
A distant dream,
A long lost needle in the hay.
I remember when you were my world.
My everything,
The rock beneath my feet.
But,
I am a mask,So many think they know who I am,but they don't care to ask,Yes, they are content with my maskWho am I? One of many made to pleaseWho is me?
Look Here N, You stole me
Yes for the very first time someone has stolen me in years
But please know I’m very fragile and have high self-esteem
And unlike the body I live in I don’t have any fears
Am I wrong to think about you like this?
Will I open up your skies?
You would say no and walk away pissed
But you know I know I hear your cries
We have the same heart same beat
I think that is a good question
C+N?
Will it ever work while I hurt and think about you
Knowing that the love I have for you might be true
But it doesn’t come back to me boo
I guess I’ve lost the argument
The name N goes so far
He really does he’s like Jafar
Giving him promise, my times, and even my attention
It’s like he’s got full dominance
Beautiful green eyes like emerald seas
I am lost.
Long gone from sanity.
Hoping, Waiting, Watching, Loving
Falling into an endless abyss of confusion and pain.
A way out is just a mirage and escape is no answer to my predicament.
Falling from
I hope you think of meas you are flicking through old moviesas you are kissing lips thinnerfar thinner than my ownas you are hearing words that triggerpast text messages exchanged
once i love you
it can't be changed
no matter what the out come is
me and you
R one forever
loving you isn't the hardest part
lossing you is the worst part
but not being able to see you
feel you
love you
this hurts me the most
A sweet glow follows his every glance,
My seductive love heats the land.
While we spin around enjoyuing the dance,
My love travels the world holding my hand.
Bringing cheer to fauna and flora,
I opened up my narrow sighted mind
In hopes that it was you that I find
with my luck the sun will not shine
you continue to give me no signs
the rain pouring down it hurts my ears
Two broken souls,
Lost at sea,
Will find each other,
When it’s meant to be.
But for now,
They search and search
For a love that burns bright.
They look at the same sky,
How can you grab me from falling if the hands you reach for is full of flames of fire
They made me wear a mask when I was younger.
Days went by and a new stitch was added to the mask.
It was starting to fit my face perfectly.
"Do this," they said.
"Do that," they demanded.
Hands
Of him to invade me to intrude to be ill mannered and uncouth to me
Hands
Dating the clock so faithful so diligent so painless so fast so slow
Hands
You ever feel the loss
someones presence so strong
yet it's a wasted cause
the way, I feel
like peeling the layers of your heart away
when you don't feel like wiping the tears away
We just lost a brother
He brought joy in our lives
Now tears to our eyes
We just lost a brother
The rain pours outide
This library echos with the raindrops.
Singing a stormy song.
Outside,
It is a different song to sing.
Animals,
Former pets,
Try to dodge the raindrops
With no prevail.
That's a start - in the room of my heart.
My thoughts do not contain certitude,
For there stands before me a physical facsimile
Of you.
Except lacking your attitude.
Your timorous tone,
You threw,
You cut.
You slice.
You mangle your arm.
You cry.
You scream.
And pretend it does no harm.
The words.
The judgment.
They replay in your mind.
A serene statue lost in the crowd
Scarred wrists and stolen innocence
Playing war and failing at failing in
the constant game of survival
A coffee too bitter to sweeten with milk and sugar
to have loved and lost is not so bad,
that is what they tell me.
although,
they have many times failed to tell me that
to be lost and loved
is the worst tragedy of them all.
Leave all doors opens,
I don't know if I'll return.
I'm stuck between trying to he
Myself,
The perfect daughter,
A flawless, better version of my sister,
To live is to be lost...
lost within the mind,
within books,
within studies.
Within ideas that can't fathom constellations,
far as the very depths that the soul cannot reach.
I lost my shadow,
I lost my friends,
Even my reflection is running away.
What did I do to scare you?
I was always nice, always generous,
I gave you everything I had
Floating---
Going no where.
No place to be,
but everthing to see.
Nothing can compare
No limits-- I am free!
Do you really love her?
Do you really care?
I could love her better.
Why are you even there?
I care about her as a person,
I don't just love her booty!
Loveis a horrendously wonderful thingthat makes the heart flitterbut also the pit of the stomachWeigh the pain of manyemotional bricks
The news rang in my ears
I didn't know how to accept it
"She's brain dead"
I hear it over and over
A constant reminder
I can still see your face
Hear your voice
Promising me I'll be okay
Maybe it was the way he held your hand, holding on like it would save him from his worst nightmares. Or was it the sound of his voice sleep deprived and full of despair calling you at 3 a.m. Just to Make sure you were still there.
They way your lips touched minds somehow made me lost with your eyes as u slowly grab me close to you.
Making me lose sight of the world around me
The candle flame burns too hot. The flickering of its wic dances in the over heated breeze. This breeze offers no respite from the smoldering need.
Two boys of sevenrun through fallen leaves.Their laughter shakes the treesThey fall to their knees
I prize my gift from the sun,
the smooth ebony blanket
that trails in my path.
It bears the token of my progress,
like a toll booth of past endowments,
always full of unanswered prayer.
Strolling the dark street /
I’m walking with a cold gaze /
Have I declared defeat... /
running through life's maze? /
I remember a phrase /
“Mend the wound, Forbid distress” /
The intensity of every beat of my heart
electrifies when we depart.
You have been gone for so many years
over this time I shed so many tears.
This emptinessI feel in my chest
searchng for closure
searching for a sign
put wanted posters on billboards
hoping it would catch someone's eye
"watchya looking for, lady"
someone replied
yelling over my screams
As the image of isoloation arrivesI wonder, is this a moment of peace?I know I should be grateful to be alive,But as i stare into utter emptiness,My mind and soul feels completely empty.
its 3 am again and it all really seems so familiar, the dark sky, the quiet house, the creeping memories of you, and the feeling of death and sorrow in my chest
I found your pictures on my closet floor
The only way of knowing you were here before
And I no longer get waves of tears anymore
I am fifteen
And my hair is nice and long
I still have the curls
And my love is not so strong
To see aint wat it seem
How to get over wats still in a dream
Close my eyes and there u are
But when i open them u are so far
The irony is u're right there
Over and over i say it aint fair
I walk around with a smile
Showing the world my happiness
while really I'm in plain
I look around at how happy others can be
I wonder if I just smile I'll be the same
Never once had I cried or frowned
The darkness is approaching
Its taking my mind, body, and soul
I can no longer function
Someone help me
Help me; before its to late
The darkness is spreading
I am becoming numb
The walls she built
she thought it'd save
the way she hides
the creatures from outside
The noise she makes
bounce off the walls
and don't go through
like usually
Captivated I feelwith a whirlwind of nothingambitious to leavebut can't
A girl with a dreambut just dreamin' it seemsnothing farther than that
You said to me, "I am Lost"
So I etched the constellations
in every freckled part of my skin,
so you would always know where you came from
when you traced your fingers across my hips.
Outside, I am put together, my hair is done, my makeup is done, my clothing is ironed,
It would pull me in
Dare me to eat it
And then I would
And then I did
And then I hated myself
I wanted to be that girl
The thin one with legs
The toned one with abs
I like to keep to myself because i don't want to hurt other
Except for my family people think they can read me but
They only see and know what i want them to I myself am
When you look me in eyes , i feel like melting away. When i dont talk to you , i feel like i cant go another day. The way you say my name, makes me want to jump with glee.
In death we find a calm, sweet pillow
A place to rest our weary head
Gone are the years of endless worry
Gone are the times of hopeless dread
This white palace knows no fear
First time i saw her i thought nothing of it,
She was another face, among thousands.
Another body, among millions.
But a spark, a spark that would set my body on fire,
Her beauty was not striking, her body less so.
The fires burn in the distance nowyet he feels better, some howGasoline and matches, his keys to freedom
Games of the heart are not easily won.
Is there victory when the battle is done?
Loss of blood will occur on both sides.
Why did you leave me behind?
Was is becase of your pain?
Or was it because of mine?
I wish you could of talked to me,
before you left me behind.
I miss you daily,
They aren't just scars
They are demons
I fought at 00:00
They are my insecurities
My deepest fear
And my lonely nights
They are my insults
I have recieved and the
Emotion I can't contain
I'm lost.
I'm lost and I don't know where to go from here.
I'm being battered by the whirling chaos that is my mind.
I'm doing things that I never thought I would.
We all want to be loved
But what is love if we're all blind
Not able to see their mistakes
We think our partner is perfect
I guess we're just too kind
We don't umderstand why
It's a whirlwind, you feel like you no longer are in control of your heart because you gave it away unintentionally. It feels like constant emotion of happiness and want.
I’m confused in this world.
My Parents tell me one thing
And my friends tell me another.
I watch all the movies.
I thought what I was feeling was real.
What happened to love, live life.
Here I sit,
Mind opened,
Thoughts spilling onto the floor,
Creating a raging sea.
A sea so vast,
A sea so wide,
A sight so magnificent I nearly cried.
There is no plan of action,
I was only fifteen, no fifteen year old should go through it.
No fifteen year old should be left withou a mother.
A fifteen year old should no have delt with a alcoholic father.
As you lay your head on my chest, I realize how bless I am you leave me in shock on how your words are expressed, your like a past of a ex I reflect, I feel the connection,
I am a coward.
I'm too scared to face myself..
Too scared to find myself.
I'm always running away from thinking about the inevitable.
I run away from reflecting on them.
Time passes us by the tide sweeps the sand aside one grain lost in the sands of time just a passing memory in people's minds what we are....lost in where we are.
I started just like any other
clean and pure and a heart that was whole
Innocence started to fleet
learned to walk on my own two feet
What’s done is done.
And I am done.
What meaning do I have
if all I mattered to, left me for dead?
My beloved do not belove me.
I am disposable.
Superimposed into life, frame by frame,
The monster is waiting.
I can hear it crawling.
I can hear it's breath.
I can hear it racing.
And it carries death.
The monster is waiting.
I want to die.
For this feeling I can no longer bare.
The rage within my soul has consumed my whole being.
The terror and horror of hell has revived and rejuvenated in my soul.
I feel like I’m sinking
Sinking to the bottom of the deepest ocean
Eerily a seemingly artificial light illuminates the water
Candid images surround me
Random memories, fantasies, desires
Did you ever really care
Or I am an element forgotten like air.
Did you ever claim me as yours
And outside, life Is cold.
The trees are as bare as my bones are hollow,
and through the chains over my window
I can see the world outside-
Moving.
It's all still moving, without me.
My words mean a lot to me so I won't waste then explaining how I feel knowing you don't care. Tears getting ready to flow knowing in my head I gave up. No more worrying, no more of nothing. I am worthless, I am nothing. I.
I see how you move,
dancing and throbbing like you know
what it is you go on about.
Throwing around these three words
like its glitzy and glamorous.
And I sit with you,
Too many nights my mind wanders
travelling to where my lost possessions are now.
Ordinary belongings.
A blue hoodie. Hairties. Pencils and pens.
Then instead of wandering to unknown destinations,
I just wanna go back
Cause I feel like I’m in a trap
I swear it felt like a heart attack
Like I fell off track
Do I stand a chance?
I am not creative or possess a talent
I’m sorry I have not experienced horrible, painful, branded, unforgettable pain not just physically but emotionally
If only for a moment
Consider me
Know that I am here and that I care for you immensely.
Know that you can tell me anything
It shall be locked away within
For only I can see the truth
Ready as I'll ever be, ready and willing to be more.
Time encapsuled, just like myself, time not taken is time torn.
Waiting, for something to happen, waiting to feel alive.
What could I do?
What would I say?
I cannot begin to imagine the pain I'll feel once I realize you are permanently gone
You'll be like a distant memory of what could have been, what was
It is rare that a man
Can come to terms with
Surrender.
It is in a unfair waisteland
that a man can make
sense of these thoughts that
will hinder.
Its uncomprehensible that
Broken roads engulfed with rubble
A heart apiece, blind eyes focusing
Who can stand to face the trouble
The hearts that burn, spurned
Eager to face another day, wanting
I'll explain, and I'll try not to weep as I speak.
But please listen, and don't ridicule me.
Things occur for a reason just like the transitions in every season.
The love I have for Him has sprouted up, and will not wilt.
Im not emotional
I did not cry
I do not cry
But yet I am sad
Should I cry?
I dont think I should
A person, full of pain and sorrow, a heart that is parted in the middle, held together with one thread of hope and faith…
Where did it all go?
When had it left me?
My hopes, my dreams, my passion, my lust for life and success.
The point of this is to be heard
Among a crowd, one reads my word
My story and struggle one must listen
Mother has these multicoloed marbles
Everyday she would roll them
in her fragile and spotted hands.
Rolling the marbles was an everyday activity.
It gave her a sense of calmness;
she would smile
a lot
Blind, Oblivious, Bastards
I see you all, I hear you all, I know you all
You do not see me, you do not hear me, you do not know me
You speak loud words of nothing
My friends don't want me
Life is getting hard
I'm feeling so lost
And it's tearing me apart
There is no one to turn to
Nobody cares
It's making me retreat
I can't see a world with out you ,
But then again I can't see
I'm blinded by your love, my insecurities.
I once had a childhood; carefree, full of dreams.
I once had a family; happy, loving.
I once had my sight; to explore, to enjoy, to embrace the world around me.
I don't smile often.
The world doesn't know why. I don't smile at you because I don't like you. I don't smile because I am terrified of not receiving one back.
I don't speak often.
-Everyone changes, one way or another
-So, if you're trying to stay the same don't even bother
-Whether it's you appearance, attitude, or religious angle
-Everyone changes, even the Devil was once an Angel
I trace the wind
It’s path, it takes me
Past the part
Of happy endings
Now I swim
I swim so swiftly
I cry, I try
To hear myself
Can I reclaim my innocence
I am lost in this lonely world
With my troubled past
And I can't escape from these memories
That will forever last
Too young to make life decisions. Too old to depend on mom. Wandering on the uncertained journey of life independently.
The fire in my body to cuss him out is lighting up, it feels like I have to pee after drinking 2 big gulps at 7 11 .
The fire in my body to cuss him out is lighting up, it feels like I have to pee after drinking 2 big gulps at 7 11 .
It is then & now that I contemplate the darkness that has consumed me ever so slowly
I find no words to truly explain how I feel
I fear I am gone
My soul & whole being fading away with the passage of time
It is my serenity
My escape when reality is too much to bare.
Freedom among that unexplainable
And you are the guide.
You guided me here,
To this vast wonderland of beauty.
Taken from the rhythm of life
Immersed into the pit of life as you know it
Guided yet lost
Controlled yet self- determined
Sought after as a case revived by the aid of hope
I have a mirror.
It’s broken
The girl I see in the mirror is not me.
I am young
I am beautiful.
Make Me ForgetKiss me so that I forget what his lips taste likeTouch me so I no longer feel him
Here I sit, once again, pondering why
Why did I take this class? Am I crazy?
I tap and tutter, releasing a sigh.
I don't understand; study more, lazy.
Chemistry, O Chemistry, thou art death.
Talkative people and silent movers
stalk their sleep without a peep.
sinking and rolling, never really knowing
if ground is up and if down is round.
Reality fades into managing days
narcotics and razors
cannot block these bullets
that explode through my chest
every time i think of
our last kiss
I loved you and I lost you. I only got myself to blame too. They say niggas ain't supposed to feel. Like you soft or weak and you gotta be strong all day, every day. But it's hard sometimes. You human, so why can't you hurt? Why can't you love?
I thought he was intangible
He's fragile
He is frozen in time
He's scared
He is now going slow motion in reverse
His words are misguided
They tear everything apart
He battles his secrets
I used to fall asleep, head brushing fur
to the gentle melody of your steady purr
And I can still remember exactly how it felt
warm and safe and comforted, my head on your pelt
You walked away from life,
from friends, family.
For why?
For a love that never came true,
for a love that was broken hearted.
Can you say it was worth it?
Now she’s talking.
Why? What right does she have to do this?
What right does she have to say these things?
What right does she have to make me feel bad about myself?
No right.
I walked into the building today, and I thought to myself, as I was marking my palms with little half moons: Be brave, be brave.
Because I knew I would see you for the first time since you broke me.
I considered skipping French.
So beautifully flowing,
so sporadically chaotic,
so miraculously conjoined,
the fact of existance,
so matter-of-fact,
as we live to simply not be.
Nothing may begin if there be no end,
...sitting in a room, empty, consuming
the thoughts surrounding the little heart inside
as a tear begins to form, and slowly falls to the floor,
a voice silently questions, what are those tears for?
You were gone
Gone for so long
You left me in the cold
You came back
Then you were gone again
Came back for good
You were down for a little while
You rose
Rose up and started to build again
The feeling that feels nothing
The thought that leaves nothing to think
Crying crystals that run down my cheek
Beat up what is life left to be?
Close to the heart yet far from man kind
I can't breathe
My tears flow freely, the sick feeling of dread overwhelming me
His hands are warm, controlled and gentle.
He's comforted others before me,
Do not show jealousy in the light of a mischievous mirror
For that same mirror will glare back at you in madness.
Once there was a willow tree.
A lovers' tree 'twas fit to be.
But times cannot define the soil,
War and hate marred branches loyal.
Rope on bark as cloth to back,
Love was all the tree did lack.
i want to see the way you have shown me
i want to love the way you have loved me
i want to be the person you believed I could be
I want to go the road you marked for me to follow
I want to feed the fire you sparked
and they say sphere keeps spinning,
shit'll reach the fan and catch some airplay,
moments are tarnished missing tossed bouquets,
then deemed stray, then eyes wander in disbelief,
Eyes. There were six of them, green, blue, brown, and lavender. Now, why were they hovering? The lights were too bright to cast shadows, so why was there a lack of bodies to these eyes?
but poor Peter, for then he was lost out at sea
there was never a man so alive as was he
forever, it seemed, he was just as a child
adventurous, lost, and a little bit wild.
Her skin is pale, making the dark areas around her eyes protrude in stark contrast.
Her eyes are weary, cautious. A penned up animal.
Her body is wiry, thin, long. Spindly, like a cat or a spider. Agile and possible deadly.
The time lost the time is gone
Our time we had was just so fun
Every time with you it was just so great
Now it seems I showed up too late
I loved her more than she ever knew
Went so far I didn’t know what to do
It was above and beyond how much I cared
So amazing the times we shared
I must confess
All over America, there are towns
And yet no one knows them
Except the citizens themselves
And can you blame them?
(It is their right, after all, to know the town they live in)
I want to feel it all
Feel it all again.
Once upon a time I knew.
Now something objects in me
Because I know
Somehow
I just want to get lost in the crowd
Walk amongst other beings
Amongst the whole, just an observer
just a small part of the eternal play
On a rainy day
Next to a cafe
5'8
107 Pounds
23" waist
Yes I'm SKINNY
Does my outer appearance bother you?
I'm happy with my body rather you like it or not.
All you are worried about is TITS and ASS.
When I was eighteen, I had my first anxiety attack.
Alone.
In my room.
11 PM
Crying, gasping, my heart felt like it was going to die.
If I could I would;
I would take it all back.
Clarify exactly what I meant.
How I truly felt.
I would of never shown any weakness.
I would of never been so open.
It's been ages.
Ages since I've written anything down.
Since I've allowed verses to be thought.
It's been forever since choppy sentences unvailed my inner emotions.
So here it goes.
It's like everything is falling
into my lap
onto my lungs
suffocating me
and making me feel the weight
of everything
all at once
drowning
Like a baby born without a mother
Shit just don’t make sense
So how the hell can you walk around without a split lick of common sense
You think have all together
I’ve never felt so lost,
Nor felt so helpless, alone, angry and frustrated.
Nor have I ever cried so much, or as often.
Never have I asked “why” so many times.
I’ve never been so weak.
my brain awoke, but my eyes stayed shut. it felt as if 100 lb dumbells hung from my eyelashes, streatching them across my face.
The therapy didn't put things in perspective and the pills don't make me happy
The pain still hurts and the tears still come
I'm broken inside and I can't find all the pieces
Congratulations,
You did exactly word for word what you were told.
Never went against the grain, never did anything you weren’t told to do.
How does it make you feel?
Pretty good right,
Like sand through my fingers
And wind through my hair,
I'm letting them slip
And don't know if I care.
So close, but out of reach,
They're whispering my name,
I can't tell who is different
However lonely
Only is non-existent
You are not yet an island
You are not yet in silence
Nor will you become a blank moon
Keep your eyes hoisted above the frames
Do wander tonight without a name
Avenues and alleywaysSpending days so afraid
Afternoon and coffee
Wishing tiredness away
Always wanted to follow you home
You skip rocks and I throw stones
There I was, yet there I wasn'tFor they neither saw me or knew where I hidThe shadow's hostage; the dustmite's captiveI feared "I'm forgotten" despite what I didAlas, they still call me
I'm back, but I'm falling apart
I'm back, but I'm lacking the heart,
That I need to keep movingAnd what do I think I'm proving? Starving for attentionReceiving it in the form of tension,
My generations judgement is corroded.
We cooked and bagged our souls like crack, then sold it.
Our minds are not ours.
Our feelings are anothers.
We give respect to strangers before we give it to our mothers.
Lately I find myself dreaming of a new world,
It's a place of shadows,
A place so very beautiful,
I'd love to actually visit,
It's all a dream,
A place I can't go,
With only people like us,
Oh I'm lost in the world
Lost in a world called life
Running around trapped
Trapped in the world
Oh I'm lost in the world
Trapped in the mind
Trapped in time
Craving Clarity..
As I retire
I perform a similar routine
It involves a person
Sometimes it is dream
He is only a boy
I would change the fate of those who are lost,
to found
Have you ever wondered where Fido ran off
or where Vanessa vanished?
I feel as if I knew every inch of your being.
Your soul, dark like your lies.
Your smile, as white as the lies you tell.
Your eyes, once as deep as the ocean, now as deep as the trench where you threw our love away.
I am lost.Lost in a world that only sees shades and could care less about you if you don't have the best grades.
Ran Through the White Fog
Selected
Lined with a decorated past
Finding new sights with old eyes
Your courage is tested
Lost.To be lost is to allow yourself to be swallowed
by the weight and beauty of the world.
Are you looking for me?
Sadly, I cannot see and this darkness pains me
Lost in the shadows of forseeable doom
Why am I drowning in my own gloom?
Feelings?
What's that?
Well I'm too dumb for that.
Happy?
What's that?
Well I'm too numb for that.
Nice And proper ?
Whats that
Those men who watch me when I walk home. They haven’t always watched, but I don’t remember when. Out of their windows in their cars as they pass by. Someone’s always watching me.
Music might help with it's melodies,
However it is still has no effect,
Still there are no remedies.
Just songs to select.
Some might say it is a cure.
Some might say it is a place.
A disease,
That no ones knows,
But it stings like bees,
Yet still no one sees.
My father,
Has this curse,
He looks at his daughter,
She knows it hurts.
A lost little girl
Stuck in a world
Full of monsters and criminals
Scared to fall asleep
Because of the men who rob her of her dreams
Can you see from my clothes,
all the things I know.
Adorned from head to toe in mediocrity.
I use to feel the need to exceed normality.
In the blackest of the night, It glides through the overgrown grassand threw the sewers under the city streets.It swallows the minds of innocents.It rips into the lost souls.
The sickled sling which cast doubts beckons from the blackened light.
An inevitable dream that awakens me abruptly, haunts my ever waking moment.
Why would i ever wish to change the world?
Many would wish to cure disease and safe their loved ones.
Who would blame them? However this world would grow to
The sun is going down, but I don't mind
the sun is going down, but I don't mind
Kind people are hard to find so I,
In the time after my death a flower grew above my grave
The roots reached down and intertwined with my body
Now I am the blue grey flower you see when you pass my final bed
In the time after my death a flower grew above my grave
The roots reached down and intertwined with my body
Now I am the blue grey flower you see when you pass my final bed
The flames licked her side as she laid on the ground.
Tears fell from her eyes.
She couldn't move.
Disabled rom the unforeseen fall down two flights of stairs.
She knew if she did not move she wouldn't make it.
Hated, lost, rejected, abused;
Angry, hurt, broken, confused.
I wish that i could disappear
And find myself, away from here.
Stomping, slamming, pouting, rude;
Immature, stupid, juvelnile, crude.
'Where are you?', is what he called. The sweet childs sing-song voice called over the cloud of darkness. 'Where are you?', he calls again...giggling shortly after.
The wind whispers through the trees
Softly singing, trying to comfort me
But no song could sing me to sleep
On a night when the stars are so bright
I found at that place
at the fork in the road
where change begins.
I found where life waits on the point of a knife
where everything hangs in the balance.
I’ve seen how everything can come crashing down
Blink.
Brink.
Sink.
We, the people, lose touch
Technology and sin are important
Glory of creation, not so much
Blinking, we reach the ledge
A man that made her feel safe
Took her in like she was his own
Betrayed her by making his claim
It was ruthless. She called out for help
No one heard her scream
Belittled to nothing -- nothing at all
this void, this emptyness inside.
what'd you expect of me?
i'm an empty vessel with out a soul.
The faces fade to ash
Photographs discolored to the sickly yellow
Of rotting buttercups and stagnant sunlight
Captured in dust-coated rooms
Disintegrating into something less than nothing
Sometimes I have a hard time picturing myself sitting behind a desk, or standing in a gym, or flipping burgers.
In other words, I have serious issues.
I've slipped;
A mistake I cannot reverse.
I know it won't help.
But for now, the movement of my hips
Clears my mind.
It burns,
The small of my foot dies.
But I keep going.
I’m unstable
The earth shakes in me like a thousand drumbeats
Drumbeats that quiver and reverberate through my bones
The tectonics shake and the supports fall out
Chills
Reaching deep within my soul they breed
Multiplying, festering
Unable to stop them, unable to take control
I retreat, trying to preserve the little sanity left
Has love just faded from the world?
With illusions so strong our hearts became jaded.
Or is it that this generation has never really known love?
Just let me go,
we've obviously reached our low,
You think I'm boring and useless,
Our love has reached a weakness,
I'm trying to keep us going along,
I have inspiration; I just can’t put it together.
I have dreams; I just don’t know where to begin.
I have hope; I just don’t show it.
Through the recent everythings
I’ve come to see
The things I planned turned to nothings.
I cannot be me
In a fairytale ending
I hear it during the day, as much as I try to push it away
I hear it at night, although I just try to see it as an attempt to fright
It grows louder when I am scared, it grows louder when I am insecure
Lover lover can you see me standing here?
Waiting so patiently to be heard.
I'll give up my last hopes if you'll just turn around.
please my dear lover just turn around.
faker faker can you hear me now?
I wandered away to another place
Looking for something I lost.
I was not sure what it was
But I needed to search for it.
I wandered away from my blue sky,
My browning leaves,
These cold hands are stuggling
Can't get warm if anything
I try and try again
Only to get colder than
The heart of this dead body walking
I can't resist the coughing
I turned a corner and found her asleep.
Her body motionless,
like an unborn sheep,
Hair splayed across the floor,
like seaweed washed ashore,
skin pale like the moon,
lips drained of life.
Roses are Blue,
Violets are Red,
I don't know why, But
All the colors are all Bad.
Talking is easy but I don’t speak
Some of the most wonderful things
grow from silence and solitude
Loneliness is painful but I don’t weep
First off, I will start off by saying I’m sorry
I don’t know if I actually am
My brain says I ought to be but my heart disagrees
Around mineLike the morning airDances around myFingertipsAnd let your body envelopeMineLike my blanket when I’m gettingCozyIf you could let me taste youOne more time
The darkness and light struggles within,Can't imagine where to begin.Seeing through clouds of darkness and dispare,One wonders what to do from there.Bright eyes pierce the soft soul,
Blinded by your misconception,
You're afraid, but still you walk
Aimlessly in a new direction,
Refusing to admit you're lost
Carelessly, you've embarked on this journey
Happiness is you.
Happiness is something new.
Happiness is something borrowed and blue.
Happiness is our wedding day.
That never happened because you went away
I love him,
He loves me,
But how could I be so dumb?
Why can't I see?
This is wrong,
But it feels so right,
To be in his arms
And to hold me tight.
gleaming in the fluorescent light,
brighter than the moon against a pitch-dark sky,
breath catches, it’s beauty unforetold.
not everything in the lost and found has been discarded.
Inspiration is a way of telling our sorry tales of when we lost hope and gained it back. A way to show everyone and everything that there was a day the pain resided and was left to hang in the air.
There’s a fire burning within
Fueled by pure sin
Tormenting thoughts and soundless cries
Reminiscing on each of his lies
Fighting for you, while beating myself.
Saw your heart, needed your help but not just for you.
Perfectly blind, all I want is you.
Have eyes for no other.
Thought someone could fill my void.
I don't know what to think
You say one thing and do another
Why me?
I'm scared
I'm lost
You took all my energy from me
Who are you?
What have you become?
Thought we were friends
Those days i wished i could run away
Run away ,go far away
Never look back
Never take the chance of giving my all, like i used to
Never taking the chance to say i love you
Forbes publishes “top jobs,”
and the sport of Googling can easily yield endless lists of “best careers” of any given year,
even those that have yet to come.
These labels are slapped
onto underrepresented fields,
This day is drawing to a close, the night is coming near,
And somewhere out there stars light up, illuminate my fear.
It takes a dense, steel wrecking ball to break through love’s embrace,
lost in el barrio, i saw a broken glass bottle
and lifted its fragile piece to my face
and attempt to see a reflection of me
i threw it down and the rest was shattered
like broken dreams
unrequited love is nothing like the soundmy thighs make
Black and Looming,
She peers into its soul,
The swirling masses of chattering teeth,
The slick palms of wrinkled futures,
The abyss.
Falling down, falling down
And then those words saved me.
When I was at home and all alone
I looked for an escape
So I'd hide and wait, I'd hide and wait
And then your voice saved me.
I hate the crowd, the wrong crowd
That keeps me in,
I'm drowning now.
And there's no hope
No lovely hope
To keep me safe, to keep me sound.
I fall too easy, and I can't swim
home is not lost
but can not be found
home is not destroyed
but can not be saved
home is where you feel welcomed
but also feel lonely
home is where you are free
but also are imprisoned
Merely a perception of the line that divides
Oceans never to join, skies never to touch
A sunset that disappears below to nothingness
A sunrise that appears from a blank image
lost amid all the chaos
amid the destruction within the broken hills
terrified of the withering sobs beneath the dead in the mountains of fear
drowning the voices that call
When you are in a blizzard you can not feel your body. The only thing you see is snow skipping and turning on top of the piles of existing snow. Then cool wind blows all around you. You hear the snow hitting your jacket.
I'm lost in a world that's all my own
and as I stare at the clock it begins to race
not forwards but back, leaving me, in a cloudy haze
I see a familiar face, I don't quite remember, but haunting all the same,
Today I was lost
Today I was afraid
Today I just cried
today i was sad
today I was alone
today my phone died
today I really tried
But today I was found
But today was to end
Everyone talks about it Why won't you be about it
This angry hand that you raiseDoes nothing but appraise
It appraises our loveHow worthless it isHow it hurts to stick around
I'll never forget when we first met,
Our eyes locked and your smile won my heart,
From that moment our hearts met we were never apart,
Time went on and we both moved on,
But the love we shared forever grew,
If you learned to walk in the dark.How would you act when the lights come on?If you spent your whole life high.How would you face the day sober?If you spent your whole life lost,Would you really want to be found?
It's just another day, still hanging by a thread.
When I open my eyes, to see a pillow and a bed.Where I lay my head, I think to myself thank god
I'm still alive and not found dead.
Part of me got stuck in a galaxy,
I called it "whats-its-name".
I just remebered after being ripped in half,
things would never be the same.
Like December,
Like tomorrow's coming down,
Shaking snowflakes to the ground,
While you're waiting in bed some more,
Cuz in November you were falling all around,
Leaves of every color now,
Regarding the World ; I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect girlfriend, the best student, or the greatest child. Yet, I strived to accomplish much and be the greatest everything. It's just didn't work for me or I didn't work for it.
i don't matter
like a snowflake
every one
different and beautiful
all in their own way
yet all the same
as they flowly fall
into reality
no one notices
they fill the world
Get me out of this placeMy heart breaks like glassLet it shatter and it runs a different paceIt's messing with my head, one minute i'm with you now suddenly i'm hereWhen will this end?
There's nothing I wouldn't give,
I'm still addicted...
But it's not really me you love,
It's my best friend...
There's nothing I wouldn't have done,
Anything for you...
You're all I've ever wanted,
a song's on repeat,
something's not right.
this time you're the reason
I cried myself to sleep last night.
moving on doesn't come easy,
at least not for me.
I know it's something I've gotta do,
Moving round and round in the maze inside my head. Contained in this padded room that's stealing my sanity, here I wait with my tortures thoughts, conjuring my eternal reward.
Lost, or what do you call it when nothing makes sense to you? When loved ones eyes tend to glare, fixated, unsure of your very existence. What is it, when all you feel is pain? When that mirror image only brings you shame? Lost.
Their legends are not like yours. A true story never to be told, Of the gore behind those closed doors.
Sober Thoughts,You're just wasting my time.Grab the bottle,It was in the back of your mind.In the darkened place,Where I always hide.Drown it out,A waveless tide.
I'm on this path to my pursuit of happiness
trying to get back to that place where a smile wasn't rare
remembering my days as a child
a time of pure carefree bliss
death was just a word
What is college
Why should you go
Is it pointless
What does it show
Getting a higher education
Staying in school
Focusing on your career
What could you lose
Just your time
Home is my burning desire.
My soul has been set on fire.
Feelings of lost hope.
I am on a downward slope.
Dreams crushed as no tomorrow,
With none left to share or borrow.
Aromas of the unknown,
Little Scarlet, little Scarlet, where have you been?
Prancing upon my garden, did you spend
the time that you were so generously given?
Little Scarlet, little Scarlet, where have you been?
Prancing upon my garden, did you spend
the time that you were so generously given?
As I sat there thinking to myselfI felt it happen like needles in my eyes,Slowly fading and slipping awayI couldn't control it but it was going
I had spent days, what had seemed to be months clenching to the piece of life I had. I was lost, in a chaotic silence, hoping and praying for redemption, for savior.
She sat alone on a sidewalk almost as dirty as her, in a city almost as dangerous to watch the boys skate
With their profanities and perverted jokes, she was hooked
Take a second to breathe, to listen.
To hear the laughing and the whispering.
I get it, we all do, it's old news.
I'm gay, yes it's true.
Yet you don't understand, acting rude and all whack.
You breathe
Yet, nothing comes out
You bleed
Yet, never die
To tumble into a world of pure sorrow
Is worse of a fate than chaos
The screams we once held are no more
The charming smile on one face
Is just a blemish on another
Alone in the universe
With myself as a brother
As an enemy, a friend,
A new means to an end
He is she as are we
I struggled against my restraints
I was forced here,
into a cage
I wasn't meant to be locked away
I have things to do,
Places to see,
People to meet
My head is down for a reason
My computer screen is dark
I don't know
Help me
I can't comprehend this
I don't know
You talk and you talk
Do you ever notice my blank stares
Getting carried away, going over the top, losing yourself.
That state of zen when you are meditatively doing,
Unconsciously awake, disconnected from your anatomy,
Education is the key to success
The mind is the metal of the key
It can be easily inscribed
Some rusted and hard
With the right materials
Running, we're running with no direction, Blind tour guides oversee the "right" way, Hiding uncertainty at each intersection, Hopelessly, we pray they don't lead us astray.
Just look at my face
Lies is what it seems to be
I am lost everyday
Deep in me I drown
Gagging full of frustration
Sea within me here...
I miss her,
Where has she gone you say?
I don't know,
I'm just a hollow shell of her now,
the smiles fake;
the laughter off;
where has she gone?
To the land of heartbreak.
The night creeps up
and it stings because
it reminds me of the things
that we used to mutter and sigh,
laugh and cry
to each other.
The daylight shines out our pain,
Oh, but the night,
This girl once had a purpose.She strived to be the best.She left it back behind her on the Golden Gate bridge.
walking out in the after glowthrown about in the drunk beyond,looking for my wandering doglaid out upon the ground.
battle scars black and bluescratched up knees -all for you,that fence post did me in.
I sing so you don't know im crying.
I luagh so you can't tell im hurting.
Close my eyes so you don't know im watching.
Walk to keep from running.
Hide in plain site so you can't see me.
I crawled out of my grave. I stare with red rimmed eyes in shock as the emotions and truth rape my brain. I gasp and swim with the stars as my eyes swim in tears full of epiphanies.
When I see you my heart skips a beat.
When our lips touch there's a connection we can't defeat.
When you smile, it makes my world complete.
Damn, your touch makes me weak.
The pain I always hide,
I just keep it bundled up,
I wont let it show,
I wont take much more,
But I can not let him go,
And all these things I say,
Im just lying here,
People mindlessly wandering around
their souls never found.
Where the ocean meets the shore,
is where these souls adore.
Young children and adults alike,
never alive to see this night.
Who am I when the lights go down
When no one is around
I look at myself to see
Who I can be
But I don't see me
I see a reflection
I see the girl I pretend to be
The pretty face
My brother was forced from home
I tried to ask, "why?"
The seeds of our love were sown
I received no reply
I’d treat you like a queen, but what does it mean?
Not a thing, cause I’m new, and you want the old
You tell me nothing even matters, you lie to me
Warmth of your touch… yes, your lie's so bold
It’s a clear sky today. After a long and exhausting day I decide to go take a dip in the lake to cool off. I jump in the water. It is very cool and warm at the same time.
Some days we are told how to feel and what to feel.
It is on those days that it is most important to listen to our hearts,
and not to think, but just to feel.
Some days we may feel alone or lost,
when i get tired (this feeling of lonliness)
i close my eyes (come meet me)
i walk through my dimly lit mind (everything is empty)
and i begin to pray (there you are)
To feel
Wanted..
To recognize
Abuse...
If I have
given up
on humanity,
Why do I
still long
for a
friend?
Is it only me?
This page is blank
Why is it only my pen that races across the white landscape? Is there something wrong with me?
Why is everyone staring?
"Special...she's special,"
How?
Why?
I have no body.
No mind or thoughts.
I am lost in this maze-
I am broken, I am lost.
The irony is my way is gone,
Here I wonder in miles,
Around the gardens that are not nurtured,
Grasping at shadows. Reaching for Ghosts. Searching for figures along the coast. Looking for something real, something to hold onto. A single shred of proof that I am not alone.
bound to the thought of tradition, chained to the idea of reality
structured in the ways of the ones before you, trapped in the shadows of others
I am lost in a sea of unknown faces,
blurred and unimpressionable.
Blending into the class room walls.
Spending the school year doing nothing but filling in a desk,
and saying present when called upon.
The puzzle piece never fit.
Blood seeps from an unseen wound.
She died without a smile, destined to become a phantom.
Her nails were embedded in dirt.
Her eyes, skyward.
The puzzle remained incomplete.
Grab a hand and stand together
let here a heartfelt welcome
hand by hand race by race
together we stand equal
strong and firm
We are never alone
so be a friend and lend an ear
High school I wasted. College I hated. Everthing seemed more important than saying I made it. A high was sufficent. For that I was persistent. Had something to say but nobody would listen. Yeah I had morals. Hopes and dreams, those too.
A day spent in torment,
A witch with an infernal love of torture,
A job to educate, yet she fails.
Why doesn't she see,
That we struggle to find the solution,
That this is the epitome of masochism.
Are you the gentle breeze?Are you the soft-spoken whisper?The one that rustles through the trees?Which only makes the silence more crisper?Are you resting up above?Are you the one walking through dreams?
Their magnetic hands grab at mepulling me into the darkInebriated with emotions.. "NO! Won't stop..won't stop.."A spirit inside me is screaming"Can't lose myself-must keepgoing."
Raindrops pour and splash across her face
They dance and he kisses with such elegant grace.
Now this may seem like its from a movie scene
But truthfully this is all just a dream
There is no quirky cat and mouse chase
I should be happy But for some reason I'm sad I can't understand the game you're playing It feels like we're on different levelsYou're funny, cute, and awesome But I can't seem to feel what I've felt before
Tears
so simple and complex
like the waves of the ocean moved my tectonic plates
Tears
such a burst of weakness
like an innocent child unable to feed or clean himself
Tears
Beaten is the pathBeneath the wandering feetOf those all lost in wayWho find themselves at peace
As you stare out the window
of your quickly moving train car,
the landscape, blurred, is ashen and bare,
and the pitter-patter of rain on the thin metal roof
never stops.
You were my everything
my used to be and always
you left a lingering taste
on my lips, from your kiss
you gave me words to say
and like a puppet and her master
I repeated every one
I am stuck, stuck in between what is wrong and what is right for me. I am stuck, stuck in-between someone that will make me feel alive tonight and someone that will make it right.
Quizzical mindhushed and hiddenlie within the shadows.
Everyone is prepping forthe live broadcast.The premieres set oncethe sun plants itselfon to the night sky
Not gently woven--Plucked.
I have no anchor
to keep me on this ground
my feet
barely touch the ground
and my soul is struggling to leave
my God!
I need an anchor!
The stars are beautiful,
She spends her time looking for truthIn the ruins of BabelAmong the pariahs and lepersJust another lost soulTurned away from societyHer only crimeWas to loveThe wrong soulThat sung half truths
I ask, Who am I?
Forever I shall know not,
Between wolds above and those beneath
Eternal life and endless rot.
If all the stars in heaven
Shone into my very soul,
That which was illuminated
Hell is a place where the mind can goNightmares exist before eyes are closed
Fear has a home inside my soul
Memories hold me captive and won’t let go
Love is a place where I feel warm
Hidden away inside your lungs
Is a history I’d like to hear from
Locked away inside your chest
Is a heart that beats the best
Lost like a message in a bottle
Folded in a tight space
No room to take a breath
Rolling in the waves
Used like a crimson rose
To symbolize a false belief
Thrown away when use is done
I died last night
Gave my best
Took all my strength
But I still lost the fight
Fought for our love with all of my might
But all my dreams came crashing down
Heart ripped out my chest
My last recollection of seeing a black butterfly was not long ago.
I remember it was on a particular flower.
I remember it was on a red flower that had just bud after sun rise.
I'm tired of feeling like there's nothing I can do
about my life
and what i'm going through
Now i'm starting to wonder is the life i want for me
should i give up
'cause i'm not feeling very happy.
All my life I was taught what I thought was right and wrong.
All my life I dressed for church and knelt before the Lord my God.
All my life I sinned and hurt and all my life I lied.
I remember the rain that day.That day I saved your life.
I remember the way I loved you.Without regret, never doubting.All my life.
You were the devil in disguise,
so my love for mystery and mischieve was sweetened.
When former friends were disgusted with your
new candy coating,
I grew to like your unfamiliar taste.
Dig away from all the dissappointment
I get lonley in caves all by myself.
Thoughts lose everything all in the moment,
Scraping nails upon walls, all blood runs high.
It hurts to be me.
In the night when no one can hear,
Not a cry, not a wail, not a single tear
Shed for what is long forgotten,
forbidden, unspoken
A broken heart the only token
Creative juices flow...
Like a gentle stream that comes to an island and must choose if the waters flow: left or right
I’m drowning
circling the drain in a sea of circular thoughtsthere’s too much gray area in these life lessons
To a long lost Lover:
I've lived a wooden life for longer than I can remember,
Creaking, cracking, losing leaves and making more.
It's beginning to look like December,
I hope to see you in Spring or before.
Pen
Paper
Black on white
Flick of the wrist
A moment’s goodbye
Swimming in my own mind
I can get lost in this world
Other’s voices, other’s own ways
She spoke what she thought,
she thought things through.
To one bad thing she would never do.
Never spoke a lie,
she was always so sure.
Then three kids walked by.
She looked at them with envy,
I aint’ never been part of a high class society
The thoughts that crave within me,
Blearing out with animosity
Breathing in the fresh-scented Musk, that’s
Broken.
Calligraphy-
The fundamental process;
Alone in a room
a broken girl lays.
Eyes once so brown
now have gone grey.
In the flesh of her arm
is a quote scarred in ink.
It reads, "Don't follow others
if they contrast your beliefs."
We all face our own demons
We all battle it through
Why is mine still here?
Oh No...
Is this mine
My premium punishment
This is why i can’t move on
Why my hurt
All I ever ask myself is why we have to die.
It just puts depress on us and leaves us all to cry.
Why do we have to leave even when we’re young?
Before you even know it, the heaven bells have rung.
My fortune renders me silent.
An expression of the lost
Finds a hole in my chest.
I see the parallels in the death of a star.
This is a poem
of lost things,
of lost shirts
and lost rings.
Of lost shoes
and lost balls,
of lost books
and lost dolls.
This is a poem
Growing up isn't easyThe struggles are endless.
No one can mentally prepare you for what lies ahead,in 7th grade an enlish teacher showed me how to cope with the madness.
Lost, I am lost without you.. Have no clue where to go no clue who to show the problems to, I am lost without thought lost like a ball with no air. Walking around with no care walking around lost Who's fault is it? Who should I blame?
you have etched into my heart
a walking path
lined with flowers
of every color;
i've walked it once or twice,
myself, and i've seen
bluejays and buttercups
there is any number of things
which i would like to tell you about –
but i open my mouth to speak
and my butterfly of speech flutters away.
do you see the way the clouds just touch
There are moments in ultimate tiredness when I feel I can see everything, sense everything, understand everything. The music starts and my thoughts wonder. I feel as though we are all part of the same being.
Where have you been?Where have you gone?I sing sad melodiesof how i was wrongand i can't even dreamwithout you in my armsso its best to believewe just dont belong
Stare into the seamless skies
I recognize
How close I came
Gaze into where I belong
I cannot help
But feel the change.
(chorus)
Why can't
You hear
My voice
To change the past was your mistake
A broken life you can’t remake
Scars become the lines that you have crossed.
A child’s yearning to be free
Became your own worst enemy.
I spent all day crying over you again. I can’t stop it hurts so much. So maybe you don’t love me as much as I love you.OKAY. FINE.
I'm just a girl who is trying to find the answers. Lost in the dark wanting to find the light, but I'm not alone here. Something is in the dark with me, something painful, sad, and depressing. He goes by the name of Misery.
it's true, I say
that the pain stays inside
that we don't know where to hide
but why? you ask
because we're broken
because we're lost
because we are alone
Welcome to the lost city, a gathering place for broken souls everyone is lonely here but that seems to be the path we were bound to go, but oh no, we will never let it show, ask us how we are doing and we will say we're good to go.
First day of high school, I wore a dress to impress and I guess I was subjective to the people that I messed with, but it didn't stop there. People were staring at the waistline of my elastic that made me look fat.
I know it is not empty and it isn't full either.
I know it is not completed but not incomplete.
I know it is not a feeling I have felt before.
I know it is neither a connection nor disconnecction.
What makes her both an angel and vixen? What makes me want to be her? What has me chasing after her? What makes me question my affection?
I wish you were with me right now, so you could see the tears spilling out of my eyes. If you saw me cry, would you change your mind? I wish you could hold me close and whisper that everything will be alright.
I know it's all my fault, and I know I've made mistakes,
but talking me down and hating me now is making me feel afraid.
Afraid of my future and who I may be
afraid of failure and that I may never succeed.
...you kissed him again...so now what? You made a dumbass choice again...so now what?...you hurt my sister again....so i'll tell you what fuck you and everyone and everythign you do. Loyalty is something you can't be true to.
You've been with me for all my life;
time I've thrown away.
I used to pick up your petals
when they fell before.
They stayed for some time my dear,
but not so anymore.
What did giving up ever solve
The sadness, hate and woe
Never seeking the future, to evolve
The potential inside you don’t know
Seasons don't change when there's ice in your veins.
I am a victim
A sweet target with barely bitten skin torn by life's fangs.
I am forgotten
I light fire against chrome but his reflection hasn't a name.
I wander throughout the earthSearching for my havenWhere is safety?All that I see is as the firstNothing familiar to my sightConstantly running from the pastForever hauntingHe hunts for my soul
What is Briana Scott?
Young, beautiful, thoughtful, quiet, self-conscious,
determined, creative...Lost.
I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing
with this life of mines.
Innocence…Enlighten my eyesYour memory haunts my soulWill you forget me forever?Is our separation an eternity?Innocence…Vileness consumes meDarkness blinds me
(poems go here)You took my hand
And you held it so
So close I didn’t see
I didn’t see the real me
You took my hand
And you took me in
Into the forest
Into the wind
You held my hand
Lost is the lady bee in the apple tree
Drawn to the nature without a mother
Carrying only a bit of poison to protect herself
Looking for the soft petals of security
they scream "we're not drunk enough!"
so I give them the golden liquor of death
150 proof and an extra bottle of gin to control their djinns
some ginseng on top so they sing sweetly
When I think about you
I fall into a dream sleep
With Technicolor baas of sheep.
It’s fuzzy around the edges,
Murky, like the deep in the sea
And I wade through variations of blue.
Lost my mother
At the hands of death.
A childhood of struggle
From breath to breath.
A void too sudden
Without warning or shame.
She is strong and fearless harboring a secret. She has shut them out. She is lost; lost as quickly as lives disappeared. Her existence is what left her with nothing. A shadow of her former self. Seeking the night he finds her once again with
Blessed are the philosopherswhose dedications stained the eyes of humans staring up concrete obelisks,
Here me here me ole trouble one
Thrill and passion is what you desire,
And your wants unquenchable as fire.
Allow me to give you what you seek
For it is from your heart I do speak.
A year has passed since last we were together,
when the days were long and sunny,
when I smiled a lot more.
But after that day,
when I learned the truth,
about those feelings you have deep down,
When I feel lostYou find meAnd I think that’s what I miss mostBeing foundSanityPeace of mindKnowing another like myselfExists.Without you I’m lonely.Not lone like a wolf,But alone
There is a certain blankness in your stare
one that is so deep, and true
It seems you're the only one who cares.
I'd like to say you're diffrent, but you're beyond that
hold me
don't let me go
hold me?
Don’t be afraid
You’re not in trouble
But one wrong word
And your father's lost forever
Not that we’ll tell you
It’s all behind your back
You’re too young to understand all the facts
Always in the back, dreams of lead rolls to hold us.
But we're passed over more than old tapes of Gold Dust.
As the value of words goes lower than gold does,
I tell him "The money's worth more than the trees."
In that forest deep and green
They came across a maiden
Unlike anything they'd ever seen
With gold and jewels was laden
With words of honey she led them
Deep into the wood
As omniscient as you are
I find myself alone
I find no solace in your temple
nor is it in your hand
Its no longer in your eyes
or your voice
or your smile
I find no home in your arms
It’s summertime and everyone’s free
Taking life easy and drinking sweet tea
Hearts being broken yeah it’s the season
Girls dropping boys for no apparent reason
Boys leaving girls
I write to find myself. I write to sort this all out. I write because my heart and mind have much more to say that my mouth could ever accurately convey.
I am young girl living in a confused world.You see. I can be happy at times, but the devil comes in and defeats me at times.Negativity comes in,people bringing me down to the point where I break down.
And as I looked up at the sky
I asked to the heavens,
"why were we given the earth,
if you knew we were going to destroy it?"
A bird flew
The stars twinkled,
the planets moved,
Prepare yourself,
For this will not be ordinary.
To express the way I feel
Is to look upon the people of this earth with a smile in my heart
To see the distraught
the unloved
the wanting
I am the lonely and unhappy girl, who is always jotting down words. I am the girl who is wondering why she has a complicated life, the girl who is lost and wants to be found.
Tangled
Ripped
Tattered
Scared
Wrapped around the jagged arms
Of a small tree
Been discarded
Left alone to
Hang in the wind
Ripping it like
Vicious fangs
Spontaneous vibrations
Out the corner of my eye
I see
her number--
ten numbers.
Quick glances
But your name no longer
lingers in my mind.
Two and a half years
You are a past thingA thing from who I used to beAnd I miss you, you past thingBecause sometimes, without you, I don't feel completeMaybe I have not tried to replace youBut you're like a rare part
She was a pale skinned dark haired Shorty from the ghetto
Latina princess who listened to death metal
With black tee skinny jeans always on her headphones
Walked all alone whenever she would head home
Empty hearts in a snowless blizzard
taking on the heat of day
lost to the world so ever loved
lost in a world once meant for play
So sad the fate of lovers be
Especially the two
Who lived by the sea
He was a poor sailor
And she was his lass
They loved one another
But not long did it last
Holy waters of the United States,
Wash away the cherry blood on his hands,
My voice calls out like David's precious lamb,
So lost in the valley of death and hate.
Lost! Alone! I wish I could die!
Scream the minds of the pawns with elongated chains
Attached to their wrists, ankles, and minds
Release us, we beg you! Oh please, release us!
Paint the sky black
because I'm never coming back
and I don't want to see you again
It was wrong
the things you said
are playing back inside my head
I can't forget
I can't let go
I saw your Picture I Smiled.
I heard your Voice I Smiled.
I felt your Touch and, I Smiled.
I was Pained when there was no Thought.
I was Pained when there was no Emotion.
I was Pained when there was no Contact.
Do you feel as I do
do you see as I do
like the world is fake
like it isn't there
Does it scare you
Does it frighten your very soul
Me and You were friends
I was drinking water at the fountain when you came and splashed water in my eyes
I screamed and you smiled
I was fighting with you and cut my finger by a false move
Winter comes.
The wind howls and the ravens stick around.
Perhaps for one more day,
To scrounge around.
They search forevermore,
or perhaps forever born to be alone.
Today I am graduating from High School. so i want to tell you things i have learned in high school that the classroom cant teach you.
I came
I went
I left broken
I'm gone
and haunted
will I cry and break
or will I hold strong for mothers sake
I came
I went
I left broken
No dress like this not like that
Eat this healthy food, don't get fat
Just tie my free will to heavy strong chains
Leave me damage on my brain
It's the same punishment as your doing now
Poetry is my light
It is my darkness
The bottled feelings inside
Pain
Excitement
Loose
Happy
Explode all on a single sheet of paper
Like a volcano ready to erupt
I came to you one humid spring night
You taught me how to appreciate life, because
You are death and death is all I see
You are tall, dark, violent, endlessly mysterious but blatant with your lies
The impartial grooves and ridges
of my body would not tell me any lies.
I don't want to put names to these thoughts
because if angry wasps can sting, they will.
I am tired of the attack--and redness--
Tied up suffocating
just need to push a little further to break lose
weak and fragile.
I'm stuck within myself, lost and trapped
oh but God why must you take me to the
darkness?
My body was a temple
my heart made of gold
a stranger he was
so impulsive and so bold
he took what was mine
innocence forgotten
as he crossed the line
I am a Horse
When I was born my owners saw me
"She is a cart horse" they said
My mother agreed
But, I am not a cart horse.
Never forget who you are
Thats what my mother told me
That advice took me far
Unfortunately that couldn't be.
Sadness lurks on the street like an ancient greyhound—forlorn, lonely,
With a heavy satchel strapped on his back, slowly limping on the road
To nowhere. The rest of the known world has deserted him—left
Such a deep love, impossible to ignore
We're pulled together, while others pull us apart.
Love is forgotten, making life such a bore
The lost memories, breaking every heart.
Thinking the world is conspiring to go against your will
Your closest relatives seem to be the ones farthest away
The way you view the world has changed
I saw the world for what it truly is when i closed my eyes.
She figured out her worth when she closed her thighs
He truly saw himself when he left the guys
We are all robots in disguise living lies
Falling in love is bliss until you can’t fall any further. The only other option to giving in is denial, you don’t want to believe there is someone so perfect for you; only there is no going forward or turning back. You love, & are in love.
Falling through the cold,
Hearing the sounds of screaming nights,
Seeing time change to dust.
I feel you there.
You seem so real.
Like the little girl in an empty park,
Running around with glee.
Words have gone unspoken.
Thanks has not been given.
Respect has all but vanished.
Appreciation is fading.
Communication is gone.
We are now expected to work till our hands bleed.
You would not like to know what lies in the depths of my soul
And yet you want the truth.
You do not understand what secrets that I hide.
You ask why don’t I sleep,
Why don’t I eat,
I have nicotine stains on my fingers.
I've got dreams that will never come true.
I've got about a thousand ways to say
I don't love you.
I've got five dollars in my pocket
and when I leave I say goodbye
I am here.
In this dungeon.
I fear losing my grip on sanity,
for the longer I am bound to this cage
the more I feel my mind chip away.
The lines are blurred by my watery eyes
The tears I cry rain down upon my lips
I taste the salt running through my cracks
Like a repetitive note hidden in a melody
Giving significance to the sky in its remedy
Not hearing the flow from a space through a crack
Unless the vibrancy is constant in its subliminal act
In a world full of loneliness,
Why is it that we find Love in the oddest of places?
When all hope is lost.
When you have given up on yourself and the world.
Reenact that scene of loneliness for me.
I don't know where I'm going
and I don't know where to start.
I've been through a lot
with strain on my heart.
My father reeks of leather and old books
I love to smell that scent while we tattle
Society may call us paranoid shnooks
But we know they are only mere cattle
No good times do I know of my young years
You were gone
Until you weren’t
I thought I’d found you
And then you left.
I thought you loved me
But I wanted proof
You thought I loved you
Proof wasn’t enough.
We were meant to be
I sit by my window,
watching as the sky turns a crimson gold.
Dreaming, thinking, hoping-
But then there is a soft whirring,
I look up…
The grinding of tires can be heard as my Father rolls in.
For the first time, his arm swept around another girl,
I knew that he was walking away,
An ant in the field, smaller and smaller to see.
I was naïve, I sat on the sidelines
Another day I return to my bed
Another search again with no end
I remember the moment I saw you
You were different than anyone I ever knew
She’s cold and isolated
The demons lurk beneath
People think they know her
But the beauty’s just skin deep
And she wants to run away
From the hurt and the pain
No one sees the shackles trailing,
Is this what life is?
Only the known ones
Only the pure ones
Can make it anywhere
Only the divine ones
Only the heavenly beings
Are carried on feathery wings
To the heights of riches
I have a vase
Of sad forget-me-nots
On the bedstand
Next to Emily
Rose-wooden eyes
See what mine still hide from me
Behind the thread and the needle holes
I know we still holds my memories
It’s in the broken hours of the night that minds pace
through hallways of a never-ending maze
Sleep is just the prize of a game we barely play
We don’t need to close our eyes to see what we fear
I'll hold you still, even still
So trust me and this bridge we've built
Made of wood and stones we haven't thrown
I won't cast against you why you have grown
I've lived
I've learned
I've loved
I've learned
I've lost
I've learned
I've lied
I've learned
I've listened
I've learned
I've laughed
I've learned
I've lived
Drained.
Life has been drained from me.
Care.
I don’t anymore.
Live.
Something that is getting harder to do.
Be.
Something I just can’t anymore.
When the world around you closes in, go find the Whipperen.
When everything seems difficult, search for the one you must consult.
When life is hard and course as gravel, go down the road through which few travel.
The small things
Hurt the most
The little words
Scream the loudest
The nice words
Veiled in caring
Stab the deepest
The constant
Berating
Belittling
What now?
I cried laughter and pain,
Memories rushed through my brain,
I wonder how I lost you.
Thinking ill have you back,
Times i tried and lack,
I still wonder how I lost you.
Seeing your love for me is gone,
I thought I can show her the way of love,
Make her feel untouchable like from heaven above,
Be her friend and also her one,
No more thinking her love is done,
Give her that light that she can not see,
My days turn to night's,
No sun or flashy light's,
Looking throught the window with fear,
Quiet whispers creep through my ear,
I stand alone heart skipping every beat,
The door opens a cold breeze to my feet,
Lost in an empty space
craving something to replace
the emptiness.
I was told there was one,
they called it the son
and the light.
I looked towards the sky,
the sun blaze in my eye,
I promise to remember you.
I promise not to forget.
I promise to remember the good and not the bad.
I promise, I promise.
I hope even as I leave, you'll remember me.
Birds flying over head
Waves lapping at my feet,
The breeze blows in my face
The smell of the sea in the air.
I long to tell you whats already been said
but the rain has stopped, one sided romance feels dead.
The bitter cold bite of reality engulfed me
On the other side of sometimes, I wait with baited breath
On the other side of sometimes, I keep away from death
Have you ever felt like running till you couldn’t run anymoreJust grabbing a bag and jetting out the doorBeing free and running wild with the windBeing a part of something that will never end
Our distance was created
By individual thoughts
Ideals held tightly
Releasing a friend’s loss
Blinded by Honor’s pride
Visioning all the wrongs
If love held true
Friendship would be strong
what am i gonna do
you got me six feet under
standing on my bleeding toes
the nails beneath me
show no mercy
what am i supposed to do
A Child Alone
Thinking that they’re grown
But just another soul lost
Victim to the World’s Exhaust
I lost someone
To a life of the unloved
Someone who brought untold limits
I lost someone to the heavens above
A silver hair spins a thousand tales unspun.
It comes, drifts, sinks and leaves,
Blinded by what it thinks, hears and sees.
In a world where the two, seeks the one.
If my heart was singing
It'll crescendo lovely notes
Repeatedly singing
I want a sunday kindof love
So I don't mourn monday
Leave me broken on tuesday
Over thinking on wednesday
I’m lost
A simple fact but true
They tell me where to go
But it just won’t do
I want freedom, I want power
But I feel like an ant
Standing next to a tower
I had big dreams
Why should you want to die?
It feels good to breathe
to live
to love
and just be alive!
How can anyone feel the need for suicide?
I’m losing my best friend...
Drip
Drop
Will it ever stop?
The hurt
The pain
Blood dried on my shirt
And still nothing to gain
Why does the pain still persist?
My happiness is so greatly missed.
Inside I am screaming
(poems go here) Dark, deep
Marbles in a pallet of white
Pale, like a moonbeam
Tired. Haunted. Human.
Five fingered truths
Paired with misery,
Joy sustains
Fleetingly, lost again
(poems go here) Blinding winds
Separate from all others,
Put out your arms
Try and find the end
The goal
The howl
Filling your head, steeped in whirls of thought
The cold presses in
Wake me up
Before I lose it all
This nightmare's a little too real
Pick me up
I'm starting to fall
Pretty soon I'l forget how to breath
I'm not asking. I'm begging you now
I'm the shadow in a rainbow
I'm the anger in a smile
I'm a raincloud on a sunny day
The tenth number in a dial
Take away my lifelines
Watch me fade away
I am the Gravity Killer
Wake me up with nightmares
Fill my head with ash
I am the Shadowman
The sweetest serenades of bliss,
head lost in the possibility
of ethereality:
that destiny
maybe
was supposed to keep us together.
I’m all alone, left nothing to accomplish.
Humans hath not heed death’s approaching voice.
At ends with friends desire death as punish,
For we both walk, but only I life’s choice.
I’m holding onto pieces of my past
My broken heart coerced me to resent
Thinking of the time I saw you last
Longing for the chance to mask your scent
Love life
love hard
times move on
whether you were a part of them
at all
can't move
so stop trying
hearts bleeding
eyes crying
there's an expiration date
here we are
all alone,
each of us
a dry,
dead
bone.
NOTHING left
to loVe or haTe
a barren wasteland
of empty fate
I knew that when I’d fall asleep, I’d only dream of you.
And of the Last rose I’d ever get from the man that loved me too.
And when the night is over, I wake up and I cry.
Broken street I’m forced to travel as ice tickles porcelain cheek.
Crystal leaves forbidden trail now, my traitor heart still beats for thee.
I have found you in this small room, neatly tucked away in the closet so no one can see you.
Never have I seen a body tremble so rapidly. Much like the movements of a leaf when it takes off in its autumn wind.
One step too close
Face-to-face
Nothing else matters
But this moment today. Now only centimeters apart
This crushing distance is closing
And with one final spin,
You decide to leave me abandoned.
Buried deep within our souls,
there's so much left to say.
You were there for me, then gone.
You let me down, you never came.
My love,
My darling,
Oh, where are you?
I’ve searched and scoured the earth for you.
I’ve left no rock unturned.
My heart is failing,
My hope is fading.
Where could you be?
She said "I can't see myself without you" He said "well close your eyes, and if I ever really loved you would I tell you lies?
Clandestinely cascading--
The entire, pitiful, centerfold
That I consider to be a sympathetic heart
Would you stay? Just a little while longer.
Must you leave me right now?
Would you let me feel your gentle touch
Before I can feel it no more.
And your beautiful lullaby voice.
Sitting on a stained dock
Amidst the four winds
Is the figure of a woman.
Have you seen her before?
Her dark locks lifeless
As her body sits frozen.
Her white dress stained
With red.
We're so tired of this world and all its' evil,
Tired of the horrible and fake people
Tired of the murder, the lies, and all the pain,
Tired of the bullying, the cheating, the earthly ways
My future, me, its mines.
but others fund it, so is my future a lie
what I can do has no limitations.
but does a wallet have the answers to any of my questions.
my family hurts for my happiness in the end.
Standing bolder,
I try to be a man.
Try to kiss you on the lips
To make you understand.
That I’m here for the better,
And I took that chance.
I even put my heart,
In the palm of your hands.
Forgive me God,
My lord and savior.
For I have done things,
opposed to your favor.
But this you know,
and this you have seen.
So it is no secret-
My soul is unclean.
once lost, it disappears,
it vanishes.
it disintegrates into nothing,
it's absence leaving a void
that can never be replaced.
She stepped out of the car and quickly strutted her way to the
classroom, avoiding as much eye contact as possible; Then, during the second
that she looked up- the look that had to be made because she was tired of
Why lie when I can see it through your eyes?
You just make it worse,
But what can you say,
that's just life's course.
What your going through,
isn't so good, relying on sorrow isn't so well.
Watching the sunset
And I began to feel empty, ...
tortured and drained and even a bit of envy.
Tears well in my eyes
And I can no longer control
these emotions that have been put on hold.
My heart no longer smiles the way it use to
It just sits there and stifles
The feelings that it really wants to let out
It holds back and waits
Unwilling to express itself out of the anxiety
It been a while
Since I’ve seen you
A while
Since I’ve touched you
A minute
Since I’ve missed you
A day
Since I’ve needed you
Time has changed
Who we were
And has given me
The Path
Bright Red sweating wagon
With its dirty dusty decay from the long journey
Treading in the muddy dark land
Carrying natural pieces of the past, in its rigid black rubbery tires
So as we walk and listen upon thy word,
people cry as they look up into the sky,
feathers falls towards us from the birds,
within ourselves we begin to cry,
During the toughest times
Sins follow my mistakes
But these are truly dark days
So help me find my path
And if there is no light
Forgive me for being lost
All my life - I've been trying to find
Such a beautiful place,
Like the one in my mind.
Somewhere that no one else can trace.
Now here I am
Standing in front of it,
Not giving a damn,
You promised a chance
A moment to prove,
To leave all out on the court
There is nothing to lose.
Yet alone here I sit
Observing, lightheaded, voice sore,
The encouragement failing
She steps into the water,
Spirals of foam pulling at her ankles.
The ocean billows out before her
Like a pair of sails in the wind.
A pelican rests in the water
Out beyond the waves.
Look at her and what do you see,
a happy, cheerful, girl, full of glee?
Well look behind that mask,
that has been so neatly painted on,
for your little girl is long, long gone.
My hazy thoughts have done nothing
to solve this riddle.
Broken memories and strained eyes
forgetting the details.
If only I could slip back into
what I once was.
Simple life, joyful smiles,
Im on this journey, and when I started Im not sure.
But now Im lost and in the background I hear,
"what were you thinking" echos of my freaking past...
"I told you not to do it"...that marriage didnt last.
It starts off slow, a tugging at the heart.
A sort of deep ache welling up within the subconscious
Something that cannot be expressed in words
You see them talking, laughing, but not
like they care if you see
I sit.
I wait.
I can hear nothing, but there is something in the silence.
Cries.
Not in pain, but in longing.
They long for the time when they could smile without wondering how soon it would end.
They laugh at her because they know not what they say and laugh at is the reason of the hurt.
They know not what pain they csuse with each day..
Each word shoved in her head unwillingly..day to day.
Each word they say
Sometimes I let my soul become like a desert land,
building up on every side castles made with sand.
I try to hide behind these walls of bitterness and shame,
selfishness and hurt and pride grow like a hungry flame.
He’s the one left behind
when they’ve walked away.
She turned and walked away with the rest of them
carrying pieces of him
but he couldn’t find the strength to move.
I'll tell my story
You tell yours
I don't know what will happen beyond here
Whether my eyes will remain dry
Whether I'll need a place to hide
If I will meet the sky
If I will pass and rise
Her daddy walks her down
To her prince charming
Family and friends smile
At her in this perfect moment with the sun setting
here i am, little ol' me, underneath Your galaxy.
there You are, up above, smiling down on me with love.
Lord i love you, by and by. You are my love, my firefly.
i wish to feel you, next to me. holding hands, silently.
My tears are wasted on the opinions of the unknown. The cruelty they have shown. The harsh words they have spoken, have sent them on a ride of which I'm just a token. The gestures I make, and the words that flutter across my tongue.
Hunger, starvation
What I wouldn’t give for the sensation
Good, bad, any feeling would suffice
Or, better yet, to sleep forever would be nice
For longer than I care to remember I have been numb
Do not promise what you will fail to deliver
Beautiful
Hopes are crystallized shards of glass
Fragile
But when they break, a maiden will cry a river
Promise
Each vow: special; varies in size and shape
In a deep dark forest, there is a caravan of traveling strangers
Hosting a creepy carnival, with many possible dangers