It's New

i have spent most of my life in unconscious apathy
often rubbing at burning eyes
sleepily staring at fluorescent lights
in windoless classrooms that spark anxiety and agony

now things must change
or so i am told
'you are coming of age'
and suddently i am too old

now i have a voice
and there is something that i am responsible for
but i have never had the choice
to decide what i believe in before

it has always been about getting through school
and never about finding identity which is cruel
but here i stand at the fork in the road
where it is necessary to decide exactly what to implode
with a voice that i have never met
a calling i must not forget

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