It’s a clear sky today. After a long and exhausting day I decide to go take a dip in the lake to cool off. I jump in the water. It is very cool and warm at the same time. It’s a beautiful sunset that I see; the sky is filled with colors: mostly of blue, purple, and orange stripes. “I better hurry” I say to myself, “It will get dark soon, and I will not see the way home. Well one last dive.” I jump; it feels like the perfect cut in to the water as I dive in. I suddenly realize that the time has stopped. It is pitch black as if nothingness surrounds me. Through nothingness I can see everything. “Is this nothingness? Why has everything stopped?” I don’t understand it; I never experienced this before. “I should explore this feeling,” I say in my mind. “I might never get another chance to experience this. What is this feeling?” So many questions, so little time.
I know I am still in the water. I should be running out of air any second, but I might lose what I have found. The time has come to get more air. Oh no! My legs have been caught by something. I can feel it sharp and very strong. Oh Lord what is this? I am going to die or am I dead already?
I am lost. I can feel and see nothing. Is this the death that I find? I can hear something in my mind—a noise. This noise is like a loud and painful sobbing is what comes to mind. I hear another voice inside me, “take a moment; pause, look, and feel everything around you.” Who is this I ask? “I am Lord thy God!” I became terrified. “Is this judgment?” I say to myself.
This is getting frustrating I say in my mind. I need to get out of here, instead of pausing to look around here. “You are bound and cannot unbind unless I help you.” He tells me.
“Oh yeah,” I say to myself “watch me”. I pull, and tug. “I only made it worse,” I say in my mind.
“Only if there was ground; could you free yourself,” is what God sends in to my mind.
I am stuck underwater and running out of air; I am getting really frustrated now. Fine I’ll pause. As I pause I become amazed that in nothingness I am able to see dim light in the dark that surrounds me. “Is that the sun?” I ask myself. That can’t be I watched the sunset and by now it is below the horizon. I cannot trust anything but the wisdom of God that enlightens me. That light could be God or his angels I think to myself. Although there is so much darkness around me, I am still able to see it like a star in the night. A beacon to home, I reckon.
“If you can’t beat it in water, and only on the ground, then instead of swimming up you should swim down until you feel the ground,” that is what God sends in to my mind. I start swimming down. It is getting harder and harder and it seems like I will never reach the ground. Is there a ground? I think to myself, “what if this is endless? Will anyone save me?” I am running out of air and soon I’ll want to breathe, but I know that will be the end of me.
Oh yes I reach the ground. Now you that are holding me will finally be unbound. I am free at last. But what is this feeling? I feel as if my ears are about to pop; I am very weak and dizzy. I have just unbound myself, although I cannot move my legs now. “What is this?” I was free and unbound, but what is still holding me?
I can no longer swim; I am caught and bound. This can’t be right I know I’ve unbound. Oh no! I think to myself, is this ground? It can’t be. I know it has to be, but it isn’t! It’s not the ground; I must be in mud and it’s pulling me down. I’ve freed myself before but now I am bound.
“Every time you struggle, and need help, all you need to do is ask!” Those words seem wise and profound. “Is this really from God?” I ask myself? I know I need help! I would say it out loud, I just don’t want to lose my breath or death will surely be found. Now I’m confused; I think I am still in the lake but how can that be? How can I talk with someone right now? It seems unlikely that I will be heard if I screamed for help in my mind. What do I have to lose?
So I scream in my mind. “Help! Help me! Somebody help me!” It’s quiet not even a thought that should come to mind. I will scream one last time, “Lord God help me!” There in my mind I heard it again.
“I will help you, but you need to do something for me. I need you to dig away; at that weird ground.” I dig and dig but nothing I find. What am I looking for: something that I could not find? No that can’t be it or can it?
“Yes! Yes! Yes! It is here!” What I once lost is now what I find. My soul? Death? No! No it is only ground. What a relief comes to my mind. I push out at the ground; my legs are free now. Swim! Swim! Swim! Cried out with my soul right then; I just need to breathe again. I never swam faster in life then right now, I am sure of it. I see that bright spot in this nothingness get bigger and bigger. Air at last is what I find.
I jump out of the lake as fast as I can; covered in mud with relief on my mind. Everything settled, then I hear a sound! “I will always be with you!” I know who to trust; it is him, my Savior. I think to myself, how long was I there? The watch my father once gave me—I cannot find. It is lost to me now, but at least I know that I am alive.
Am I? It could have been a day or two; perhaps a week or even more. I think to myself: “Am I dead or alive?”
My eyes wide open; what next will I find? Despair, anger, salvation, hope, or even freedom is what’s on my mind! Getting up I am sore like never before, perhaps it’s real then. No it couldn’t have been. It must be a bad dream. I arise from my bed—or is it death that I rise from? I don’t recall going to that lake, I know I have not. The curiosity gets the better of me so I decide to go see that lake from my dream. Was I there to begin? I’ve reached the lake: nothing out of the ordinary though. It is still dark and I know I will find nothing right now. Then I hear a breaking sound; I have stepped on something. What could it be? Oh my! It's my watch that I lost in that dream; or was it a dream?
It seemed like a decade went by with only one breath in my mind. I would not give up. I would reach my goal and I would be found; that was the only thing in my mind. I know who saved me back then. The only one who could hear my screaming mind! My soul? No it was Him. The one who died for my sins. Long ago on that cross, he bore the weight of the world. He freed me from death, and despair. At last I am free, and unbound. He is the true Savior, for me!