I'm on this path to my pursuit of happiness

trying to get back to that place where a smile wasn't rare

remembering my days as a child

a time of pure carefree bliss

death was just a word

and heartbreak was nothing more than boo-boo mommy can kiss and its all better

as i got older

i opened my eyes to see what this world was really like

a harsh, unforgiving, judgmental place

unfortunately my generation

lives in a time

where Gods so called "Christians"

throw there bible at you

but how can you do that when your hands are just as dirty as mine?

these God-fearing people look down on us youth

For what though.?

Forgetting if they ever stared in that mirror to long

IM YOU

so who are you too judge?

i get that you're all "highly favored and sanctified"

that don't make you better than me

for you to say ill never be ANYTHING

makes me wonder how much of a God-fearing person you really are

if i never trip up and fall down

how will ever learn about life?

I'm not perfect and neither are you

While searching for that place that truly made me happy

i ran into some horrible things

alcohol, sex, drugs

they gave me that moment of euphoria

in which i forgot about everything

all my troubles

my guilt

insecurities

family

life 

everything

i took that moment and ran with it maybe i went a little to far

but can you blame me

it was like old times again

before he passed

before all the cracks in my life started to reveal themselves

thinking back on it i wish i could change so many things

theres nothing like that big brother little sister relationship

we grew together

you taught me how to walk

talk mess

and fight if i needed too

I'm don't think it was truly your time but its gods will i guess

I always wonder if you could stand in front of me today

would you be proud of me?