Mother Forgotten

Mon, 02/05/2018 - 12:30 -- fcork27

Dear Unnamed,



I listen to "Over the Rainbow”

its tropical tunes carry my thoughts--

The backseat of our red station wagon

armored with Hawaiian plates

And driven by you.

I have always clung

to the sound--

your voice singing along.


I become more aware of death,

more fearful.

Regardless of hurt in the past,

I do not want to live my life without knowing

You, my mother.


I realize that you are still here--

It hurts to think

time lost,

time that I cannot mend,

time that I did not break.


I miss you--

youthful spirit,




I miss having you--

a real person in my life,

a woman having my back,

my mother.


Have I lost you?

Worst of all,

is it my fault that you are gone?

You are not;

You, mother,

Are a few clicks and a button

Some airwave.


Yet, you live a lightyear away

And I see only stars.


My mother,

You are the light of my disillusionment,

my childlike yearning for motherly love.


if I stretched my little fingers,

earnestly wanting,

I could catch you,



But mother,

My vision tunnels itself--

my faults,

favorite memories of you.


I do not want to be scarred by memories,

abuse and tears,

but alternatively, I blame myself,

be broken.


I could hate you,

hurting me,

robbing my Alutiiq heritage,

destroying my concept of “family.”


I do not.

Instead, I recall an oblong drawing--

you and I, hearts connected:

“Maamaqa and Fiona forever.”


But Mother,

Those fingers grew,

And Forever left with you.


This poem is about: 
My family


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