I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.
It’s been a year it feels like a week.
I just don’t know how I’d begin to speak,
I know there’s something I’ll miss.
You seemed so happy when I finally asked;
I still don’t know how I got the strength,
Yet I did ask you after a length.
The coming pain was firmly masked.
I didn’t think that you’d be willing;
I was surprised, yet so very glad.
I didn’t realize it would end up so sad;
Love is such a fragile thing.
In the next week my world fell apart.
You told me just as I entered the room:
You changed your mind. I didn’t know what to assume.
I stopped you too soon, it broke my heart.
I trusted you to know your decision;
I made it as easy as I could,
I know you have a reason; I thought I should.
It was probably too soon for such precision.
You never gave me a reason as to why.
I still don’t know to this very day,
But still, what a small price to pay
To lessen your troubles, or at least try.
I was so built up when you agreed,
I was brought down in an instant.
No matter where I went
I couldn’t forget this deed.
I cried that day, why lie?
The truth will often come.
It wasn’t the last, but a larger sum
Then most in the past that came by.
What was the reason for the change?
The answer I may never know,
And this loss brings much of my woe.
There was such a very large range.
I’m left with not a single explanation,
No reason of any kind.
It’s beginning to mess with my mind.
I’m left alone with infatuation.