In a too familiar whim of feeling drowned,
I jump onto this raft that manifests
in the water in front of me.
I pray it's enough to support me,
but with the long absence of hesitation,
I paddle anyway.
I battle each wall of blue toppling over me
as if it's my last fight.
until I realize I'm a mile past the waves.
I collapse breathless on the raft.
I lie there for an eternity
with my limbs dangling over into the endless depth.
The ripples pulling me further into emptiness
are delicate and persistent.
As I marvel at the perfect combination
of colors where the sky meets the ocean,
I sing "I'm a goner" over and over again.
I close my eyes listening to the water caress the raft.
I open my eyes and find myself more lost
than I have ever been,
and nothing has felt more right.
Being lost in blue.
It feels right.
I'm a goner.