Lost Inside Myself

I am a coward.

I'm too scared to face myself..

Too scared to find myself.

I'm always running away from thinking about the inevitable.

I run away from reflecting on them.

My future right now is a gigantic nebulous fog I'm trying to escape.

"What do you want to be? What do you want to do? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I get overwhelmed by those questions,

By those thoughts..

By those possibilities.

 

And I run away.

I run and I run until I run into another battle zone..

This time, I'm facing the harbinger of financial stress.

"How are you going to pay for college? What about grad school? What about all the bills and debt your mother has to pay?

I don't know..

I don't know.

I don't know.

I get overwhelmed by those questions,

By those worries..

By those burdens

 

And I run away.

I run frantically in the labyrinth that is my own mind,

Lost within it,

Trying to find an escape, a way out, a light.

Any place where I can finally breathe.

 

But it's too far.

It's out of my reach.

 

So I stay, wandering in my maze,

Lost within myself,

Still searching for help,

Still crying for someone to save me..

 

To save me from myself.

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