I Lost Myself Today


United States
42° 30' 18.954" N, 123° 19' 38.3376" W

You would not like to know what lies in the depths of my soul
And yet you want the truth.
You do not understand what secrets that I hide.
You ask why don’t I sleep,
Why don’t I eat,
Why can’t I weep anything but red tears?
Dear friend, I haven’t known a moment’s peace in years.
You ask what the voices say today,
There has to be another way.
It isn’t funny anymore,
I’ve actually gone insane.
Was I ever real?
Did I ever really feel?
Did I actually exist before forced to kneel
At the base of my own mind?
Every misstep I try to mend, even those that are not mine,
I will fix everything, I just need a bit more time.
Time, a sort of mocking rhyme, a sort of mocking moment,
Slipped away like water, never really knew it.
What is time, what’s this place, what is this ever spiraling space?
I am lost.


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