The Woman I Love and her dirty little secret

I love her more than I think she loves herself.

I look at her and see so many things.

I remember oh so well the mask she wore everyday.

The smile that was plastered on her face.

As I grew I saw cracks in this mask I once thought was so perfect. 

Her face was porcelian.  There was no change.  There was no pain.

The cracks grew deeper and deeper.

I remember the smile that once touched my heart.

The hugs I would get when I was hurt and the only relief I had were her arms.

I remember her hope and glow.

I look back now and feel like maybe she didnt always wear the mask.

Sometimes I saw what was underneath.

Sometimes I saw her scars that ran so deep.

Sometimes I saw her tears that hit the floor.

Somtimes I refuse to look to see the pain.

I love this woman, I swear I do.

I was a part of her,  I was in her womb.

I grew like a seed being nurtured from her.

I miss her all of her.

I miss her nurturing arms.

I quickly relized my arms are warm and comforting.

I hate the porcelian mask.

I hate the pain that lingers and grows like a tumor.

I hate the scars that seem to continue to be cut open over and over again.

I wished I knew the answer.

I now do.

I wish I could heal her.

Every pill taken, never seems to be the answer.

I once knew her happy face without the damn mask.

I once knew her ambitions and hope towards the future.

I once knew her.

The woman I loved so much.

I long to find her again.

I will not give up until I do.

In the darkness I rock myself to sleep.

My tears hit the floor.

Now I wear the mask.

But unlike her

I will not close the door to the sunlight.

My soul craves life when my body and mind are numb.

I once was her glow.

I will not give up.

I am not her.

My pain will not be hidden.

I will not live my life in the shadows.

My problems and sickness will not take over my life.

The real me will not be a dirty little secret.

I will not become a mask of the person I once knew.



This poem is about: 
My family
My community



wow. love it



Thank you.  This one was a real emotional one for me but really honest.

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.


If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741