I will always remember our time together,

 remember our secrets we keep from the world.

 All the lies we hold within our souls.

But only God knew

What was going on.

And I was devastated you moved on,

Obviously, we couldn’t be.

That little itch inside me

Still craving for the moment to last

What we did,

Was the most amazing thing.

Ever.

Never have I done such lustful things

And I wouldn’t want to do that with anyone else,

I tell myself

Who can do better?

Who can make my flesh feel

Such a way?

Flesh

Oh right

Flesh is the one craving all of this

Flesh is the one wanting to deceive the one and only

But my spirit says otherwise.

And what's wrong with me?

Why do I keep sinning the same sin? 

I will never forget it

I will never forget what we did

No matter how hard I try

You manage to pop right back up in my mind.

To be honest,

I can’t even close my eyes

Without our memory

Driving it’s way back in.

If you ask me

I fight

I fight so hard to overcome it

But I don’t know

I guess it will always find their way back in.

And the worst part is

I can’t talk to anyone

I can’t mention the way I feel to anyone

Not without getting judged or discarded.

I even tried praying

But in the end 

I long for you

It makes me disgusted

With myself,

And the situation.