20 pills


1: My doors closed shut without any mercy to let free me.

2:My heart became useless and lost it's beat broke, scared, left alone to dry out with cold blood.

3: Can't you see the emptiness in me that I try to full but my mind remain blank

4: You walk out on me and I stood there waiting. I was left alone on my own but you never look back at me

5: I got So angry that I pick up my fist and amid it right at you but stop myself and asked myself why I wanted you to hurt like I did

6: Here it goes I became more broken down feeling like I don't need no one and  build myself off of sand only to be washed away.

7: I took my sadness and I made myself happy trying to erase my scares makes them something that was forgotten but healed

8: Me becoming super women to a world with problem even myself can't control and to make mines pall up screaming for help as I stand behind myself and  lie ask I repeat the words I'm OK

9: ME vs myself How my outside image try to play out a happy ending that my inside  feel something different .How they are like two different people that's apart of me. But seeing myself begin to fight as it eating me up inside to have no Imani there to seek value .

10: What happened to me there it goes again broken angel with no wing but still forces herself to fly. As  she has to remain strong even when herself not strong enough to keep her from falling again. A angle with no wings

11: God is a solutions that we have to believe but with the world with lie fades all the truth of a person who can heal u all

12: A person that died was still some How awaken from her sleep to be cold blooded with no inter feelings no type of faith I have skin like human but my soul is dead

13: I was put to the test that I some How forgot the skills to attack it only for it to attack me. Crying silently where no one could hear me begin to give up 

14: Thousand of hands that I handed them something to believe in but one person thats me open my hand and a thousand person handed me nothing

15: Where is  love when you need it but if you lost yourself people show you they care walk another day not haveing  a care in the world 

16: I walk a road that made me begin to walk in darkness and walk out without any light to find something that could save me 

17: Hands yanked from my hands which were the main people who said they would never leave me made the footsteps away from me .

18: My family wasn't listening and then everyone became deaf because they ignored my call for help 

19: I look at myself and saw my red eyes and my heart begin to turn weak and my sight begined to fade thin into a deep sleep

20: It only took 20 to realize that the person you saw everyday and the person who smiles.The sister and the daughter the friend  and the girlfriend you seemed to not take a deeper look at and  see her begin to leave . As she count to 3 she lied there and said a goodbye hopping that the dead person she was would come back alive 



Every number explained a part of me which i wanted to comet suicided  this explains every emotions going on in my head at that time .Also each of the numbers will be created as a poem so keep a look on  my new poetry i post up .Thank you so much for the support .

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