slambehindthecurtainscholarship
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Unspeakable, unreasonable expectations.
There are no words to describe what it is,
There are no directions to tell you where to go,
There are no instructions,
Except, and accept, that it will not be easy.
Help.
Fights, screams, yells, sirens, ambulances...
No such thing
There is no help
Crying and yelling
Sirens and running
Nobody helps you
Nothing helps you
Overbearing, rotten
So you found out
Well, how do you feel?
Me?
I feel vulnerable
Anxious
Confused
Judged
Hurt
Angry
Destroyed
This was a side of me that you weren't ready for
It’s not that simple,
Trying to see the good again.
The grey days just seem to blur together,
In a never ending stream of sadness.
Have you ever felt so sad that you can’t cry?
Your pissing me off because everytime you open your mouth I pray you say something stupid but instead I am met with your artistic views and original ideals and it dissapoints me that you can say something so beautiful.
Once sitting alone in a cold room
while graced with the warmest of hearts
the voice rings out in a moment of panic
"how do you eat an elephant?'
My mind stops, heart races
Mind now emptied of everything I am
Myself...
without a mask,
without any reason to hide behind a wall of lies,
exposing the girl who's hidden for so long,
a musician, a girl who seeks to change the world,
I am passionate.
When I love something, it is more than love; it is a clawing, aching, inescapable need for more of it.
I love movies, a lot.
Facebook, Twitter, the 'Gram
It's all make believe, like a fairytale
People will go to the 'Gram,
when I think of the word "Life", I think of a flower.
The seed gets planted, gets water and get shine on by the Earth`s light.
It then gets fed with pain and heart.
I walk around, wondering.
I wonder, how will the future be.
The future seems promising.
The promise is withheld by each individual.
Each individual seems unknown of the promise to withhold.
Walking in the hall of high school, masses of students passing you by. Some recognized you and wanted to compliment your stylish clothing.
I have been writing for almost a decade now and what I’ve learned
Is that poetry is damn dangerous,
But it is the only safety I’ve ever found in my life.
Mirror,
Mirror.
you can see me,
but can you hear me?
Please tell me you're not like them,
you don't just see what's on the outside,
you can hear me.
You know me,
Monday through Friday I race the sun awake. Shower, makeup, give my hair a shake. I dress for an interview, yet it’s my every day apparel.
When I close my eyes
I'm travelling
with backpacks hanging off of me
they aren't heavy
because they're just enough
I hide behind a mask of hurt, insecurity and rejection.
Maybe its because I was never a boy's first selection, not having an hour glass figure really killed
A man once told me
He told me you see
That you can be anything
You wish to be
But what he says
And what I see
Are nothing but visions
Of obscurity
The mirror reveals
"I love you, sweet heart"
No, you wanted me.
"You're my little girl"
No, I was your toy.
"I didn't hurt you"
Yes, you did.
"You're such a spaz"
I'm sorry, I just get excited.
The real me is like the real you.
Sitting behind the scratched, glass pane separating us,
In our once a week, twenty-minute-monitored conversation.
As we speak through the coils of a half-
It’s too easy to fake a smile,
force a laugh,
say “I’m doing well”
It’s too easy to go with the flow,
to become clichés,
to rely on autopilot.
It’s too easy to slather on foundation,
Rumor has it that scars of gold kept you hidden
behind a veil of words that were forbidden to hear,
and the tattoos of watercolors began to slosh around on your marble skin,
until no single pigment could be found.
I stand behind the curtains of an unaccepting society
Pulling at the seemingly infinite weight
Yearning to be nothing but myself
The curtain weighs down with
He/she
"The road less traveled"
Frost was and is still onto something.
We, humans are so scared and dependent:
Waiting for someone establish and cultivate a barefaced modus operandi.
People judge me by the looks and the actions they see daily.
It is hard to show them the real me.
The reason I don’t show the real me because I’m afraid
Air, trees, and shelter
Hair, weed, and nectar
Material things versus Minor needs
which will benefit
the most when you breathe
seems as if the consequence is not acknowledged
until someone bleeds
"Shes strong beautiful has the whole world at her hands"
yet shes sad scared and surrounded by everyone yet feels so alone
"Shes Beautiful.."
She Cant stand to take full body pictures
"Shes confident"
I am a slave to their words,
a mutt in their eyes,
for bastards like me were not meant to survive,
I have the face,
the nose, eyes, and lips of a Salabie,
a rich man’s name,
I’m on the inside looking out
Biding my time till I can stride out
I push and I pull and I purposefully repeat
But these durable bonds are unbreakable
My unlivable cage is indestructible
I yearn to be free
I am more than a face you may remember.
I don't know what I want.
All I know is what I've been told.
But are my thoughts truly my own?
Does that make them mine,
Or are they something instilled?
I am her.
I am that girl who is the most liked in school.
I am that girl who everyone loves.
I am that girl that everyone admires.
I am that girl who all the school boys like.
I don't know what you see
But is it really me
I hide behind so many different things
Sweats on the regular
Books are more interesting
Very few friends
Because I am no means to an end
The sun is rising.
It’s time for another day
I get up
Put on my mask
Pull the curtains shut
Start playing the hologram.
There’s a person moving across the stage
Do you know the girl behind the mask?
Everyone thinks they do; they could not be more wrong.
Photography saved her when pain changed her,
Reality made her the very thing she had feared;
You'd never see me
The true me, the real one inside
Because my heart's been broken and I've learnt how to hide
I took my feelings and locked them in a cage
And there they've stayed while I have aged
Changes don’t happen overnight;
but if they did, think of it this way:
dusk is the beginning of the bad stuff.
The darkness sets in slowly,
and then all at once,
In grade 7, I had an idea.
A man.
He leads a tiresome, boring life,
And when he sleeps,
He escapes in his dreams.
How beautiful, I thought,
A man so in control of his dreams.
Warmth enfolds me.
The cleansing current upon my spine,
without it I'd be filthy,
and safety no longer mine.
I remain concealed, behind this curtain,
due to my most solemn doubt.
I'm a very secretive person, I lurk in the shadows. I come and go like some godfather. I hide behind my mask, built off of past experiences.
A facade of what you want me to be.
You want nice, I am perfectly pleasant
You want smart, I am intelligent
You want silent, I am mute
When people need me I am there
The same weird looks I receive when people hear my last name are the same ones I get when people get to know me.
The man behind the glass mirror
striding with the shadows
the voice behind the tranquil singer
is he deep in care or is he shallow?
He is neither subdued nor self-centered
All that separates us is a curtain.
The one you’re looking at-
The side made of
Sugary pink fabric-
Is the side I show you.
I decorate it with
Bright lights of hopes,
It surrounds me.
It consumes me.
The black fog that fills my mind.
It only comes when I'm at my lowest.
It knows when it's welcome.
That's the problem, I welcome it.
With open, raw arms.
There was a conversation that never happened
Not even a deleted scene
More like a storyboard
Lost
An idea cut from the first draft
And you are costarring
Shuffles of papers of decks of cards
Rearrange, restage the stars.
“I like stars.” Reception: laughter.
The gates have cracked
The walls have fallen
I don’t want to go back
I found myself here
I cannot let this go
My life has been full of secrets
My thoughts much protected
My personality a big puzzle
I've made a deal with Mephistopheles,
One signed in crimson blood.
I resigned a significant portion of myself
To a hell in which you can't even imagine
And for no greater reason than
I am me.
I am one of a kind.
I don't comply to your societal norms.
I don't hide behind lies.
But, sometimes, I have to pretend.
Sometimes, me, isn't good enough.
At times, I am forced,
When people see me
They don't really see me
The smiles
The laughs
The "I-don't-really-give-a-fuck-about-it-all" attitude
Is what keeps me safe
My own chest seizes at the sound of sobs
Watching rose petals fall from their stems with ease
Remember
How a touch of sweat will form ink globs
"A Poem Written at One in the Morning on a Random Thursday" or "Maybe Curtains and Masks Aren't So Bad After All" or "A P
This is what happens when I speak my mind.
"All you do is complain all the time."
This is why I can't be me.
Because, you see, to me, my life is just not complete.
What constitutes a mask?For me, bright eyes, dazzling smiles,and false perfectionsconceal the truth.
There is something holding me back
Perhaps a nagging feeling in my head?
Every time I see a reason to offer help
I tell myself I would jump
At the opportunity.
Arrant and austere,
Highs and lows.
No in between
Just excessive extremes
Of commendable and baneful times,
Blissful and despairing moments
That altered me
Into whom I am.
Curtain?
What curtain?
My face screams agony wherever I wander
Between the lines of a soft smile
And the Gap in my two front teeth
I laugh, for the pain is too great
staring at a crowd- a clique of friends
but, alas, I am not one of them
walking on the outskirts, outsider looking in
sitting in the back, needing some oil for my tin
congratulations I'm the first one
Day by day boisterous people walk my way
I sit in classrooms with people who speak their minds
Their confidence is so high they don't care what they say
Oh how I wish I could be the same way
The world only sees
What I want them to see
The true me is a mystery
I crumble behind the scenes
I smiled once today
And it was a miracle, see,
For the first time in months
I speak loudly and I speak proudly
about everthing about me
Ask me any question
and I'll give you a dissertation
I wear my heart on my sleeve
And so it's hard for people to believe
just smile
because it’s easier than to confess
just wave
as if somebody could care less
just go
and maybe you’ll soon progress
just stand
even if you’re below the rest
they say
On the steep ledge, i reached behind me
a flower appeared of the ordinary
as my eyes started to close
the world seemed to immediately freeze
i forced my lids open
and trembled in the cold quiet breeze
You'd be surprised to figure out who hides behind these lies,
You'd be surprised to figure out who smiles while in disguise,
It's me, the girl who you see smiling all the time,
I remember how the shackles fit
since I was three years old
and noticed that my brother had cars
and I had an apron lined with
silver bars, they trapped my dreams
they hid my screams under a noxious smell
The crevices of my soul
Are left untouched by the purest of men.
They do not craft me, I craft myself.
A pretty picture I paint to the world,
I wonder if they hear me,
Does anybody know?
Everything I keep inside
The things that I don't show.
It creeps in on me like darkness,
Almost impossible to see;
I'm running around in circles
I've heard it said that to see a mans true face, you need only give him a mask. 'Why give someone something we all construct anyways?' I ask.
Who do I say,
Do I say that I am?
What am I now,
Am I now that I was?
When will it be,
Will it be truly me?
Where does this end,
Does this end with a dream?
Oceans rolled,
Masks are a tricky task. Something we can only percieve. They lead to schemes,screams and being mean.
Who am I? to be exact.
Well don't we all wonder that.
We each think we are one way or another,
but act so differently with eachother.
Myself, I think I'm curious and smart,
A girl born mid February
Such little did they know
Soon leaping, skipping, dancing girl
They planned to watch her grow
They took her home that very night
Keep my gaze down,Headphones glued in my ears.Smile at the right moments.Do the right moves, say the right lines,And no one will ever suspect a thing.No one will know that I struggle.
This is something I ask myself every now and then!
They told my parents “She has ADHD”.
In private school there is no help for this.
THIS IS A POEM ABOUT HOW I KNOW WHO I AM AND CANT COME OUT OF A CURTAIN THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN OPENED
I can't appear from an open curtain,
I am quite rather uncertain,
because everyone already knows wo I am,
I don't understand,
How to appear from an open curtain.
I wear the mask to stop the wallsI wear the mask to hide any tears that may fallI wear the mask to cover my confusionAnd stop the walls that are no more than an illusion
Oh that the lovely flower, which has everlasting powerGhost that holds the flower has taken an hourWho, by chance will grow?And no one will ever showBut, if the winds decide to blow
Silently in the halls I walk
Thoughts and images crowd my head
No words exist to let me talk
Rogue feelings weigh me down like lead
I've built stories inside my head
Rising with the sun starts my everyday
Look out to the arena and see a mere
Horses and boots are my life
Ride everyday with no fear
I am constantly throwing hay
Year after year
Education though,
it's awful.
I walk into school and want to turn around and go
School sucks and should be unlawful.
Education though.
Education isn't fun but you know what is?
Waffles.
I can't always pretend
That I've got everything together,
Showing no emotion like a man.
I can't always wear a brave face
When things plummet downhill.
I want to disappear without a trace.
Hiding there around the corner
Is the inner me
I'm hard to catch a glimpse of
Till you really look and see
I can be whatever you want
As long as you are pleased
Queen B
Queen ME
“To know love is to know pain”
Fall in love
Kiss him
Fulfill his fantasies
Before they turn the lights out
That one love that ripped my heart out
Be strong
Insecurities unfold all around us
Everyone’s walking around like their aimless
No one shows their true colors
Everyone only judges, why bother
Afraid to show the world
In fear of acceptance
When you think about yourself,
and who you really are,
do you picture someone in the shadows,
or a blinding bright star?
But who you really are
is completely up to you,
because everybody has
Gay.
Respectable.
Intelligent.
Deviant.
I'm all of these things
And none of them.
My identity is contradictory.
Exsistence, a paradox.
Wandering and lost
You know that girl who's always smiling in the hallways,
The girl who knows everyone and speaks to everyone,
The girl who isn't popular, but everyone knows her,
Because she has a free spirit?
I have a metal object... Do you know what it is?
It could be heavy or light... Do you want to see it inmy hand?
Brown and White walls
Confinment everywhere for all eyes to see and stair
Thirteen girls five room
Quiet and afraid of ourselves
We are here for a reason
We want to die
The white snow falls from a blue sky gently landing on the land below.
It covers this world in freezing blankets of white
as the dirt beneath quietly hums with the warmth of life.
Sometimes the disconnect between
the world
and me
(not the fingers typing the words, but the place
I wish I could
But I never will
It hurts too much
And it might just kill
I'm sure it's nice
But I won't speak
The people I love
Won't ever love me
I'm alone
But it's okay
A mass pool of children are labeled and mixed together
All different cognitive thinkers, forced to pay attention
To topics that don't matter
iPhone. math. advertisement. distractions.
Reyna is an undefinable person
Every characteristic of hers contradicts the other
She's smart, yet so foolish
She's friendly, yet so anti-social
She's strong, yet so weak
Sometimes I'm the Earth.
I have a thin
Yet impenetribaly dense
Crust all around me.
Nobody is allowed to go in.
Nobody.
Unless they want to burn to death with me.
So long, she's spent hiding, behind her velvet mask.
Hiding herself from the judging eyes,
Pretending to be someone, anyone else.
She smiles, while everyone stares intently.
What do I look like in a room of others thinking, thinking out of this world?
No one even notices me, I past by and I get a glance if I'm lucky
I feel gold though,
As the crowd’s conclusions falls to hush
I could make the joker spin and blush
At the lies I tell and the mask I wear
At the chances I take in double dares
My skin changes colors as chameleons
I am worth more than a once over,
Do you know how long it takes to look this great?
Sun-kissed skin and raven black hair,
I am unique and I do not need you.
I am not meant to be a secret,
She is like a thief in the night
She is the fear of all ages
She is the killer of all races
She is no where to be seen
She is a toxic waste
She is unpredictable
She is the one that changes lives
BEHIND THIS CURTAIN I AM, IS A MAN WILLLING TO REVEAL HIMSELF
BUT IN THIS WORLD THAT WE LIVE IN, WE ALWAYS WANT MORE FOR OURSELVES
I WAS AFRAID TO EXPERINCE THE DEATH OF PEOPLES REJECTION
This fear I feel is formed from my imagination. Constantly contemplating where my life will be stationed.
Who am I?
Do I hide behind a shadow
Of who I really am,
Or do I show all with no fear?
I am anxious
Incapable of anything
But
Shaking &
Fear
But I am proud
As I write this poem,
I realize just how much of myself I've lost while I wear my favorite accessory,
I'm lost.
In a place where I won't be found.
In a place where no one cares.
I'm lost.
No one looks for me.
No one wants to find me.
I'm lost.
In my life.
In my dreams.
She dries her eyes with tears
and tissues
ruin her mascara.
She wears a
suit of armor,
to mask her
weak defenses.
This girl hides
the so many things
that make her human.
This is the me that they know,
A smiley, carefree me that they know,
The girl who is always happy,
The girl that always laughs and is Godly,
.
That girl that gives the best advice,
B e h i n d t h e c u r t a i n
are props.
Scales,
pencils
tie dyed
colors
d a n c i n g
on objects,
objects
used on
See the Light
Watch its smile
Across my sight
Creating my style
My struggle you must
Never understand
But brush the Dust
From this brand
Assist my comfort
I see the world in words, not pictures like everyone else.
I write and jot and scribble to fend off the monsters in my mind.
Don't we all hide behind some curtain?
So selfconcious of who we are,we lie for the approval of others.
I am guilty of this sin too.
I hide behind a facade,to hide my weakness.
The smiles you see
Are far from me.
My eyes face your direction,
My head is paying no attention.
I tell you my name,
You follow the game.
We exchange biographies.
After being continuously exposed to my
Cool exterior,
No one would ever guess of the
Monsters
Inside my innermost being.
After looking into my bright eyes,
No one would dare consider
My mom likes to think I'm just like her
That I love crowds of people and constant noise
That I love calling all attention to myself
And that I like conflict
My mom thinks I hide my real self from the world
It over casts my shiny day, leaving me rejected and left behind
A smile shadows my life, as tears are behind the scenes
I see others up ahead of the path, running and cherring in the light
I open my oral entrance to express my thoughts.
You criticize harshly.
I design a breath taking image.
Standing behind the curtain
I look out and see
white porcelain staring back at me
Now I know for certain
There is nothing here
for me except shame and fear
No one will want me, someone so broken
“Curtain and the Wind”
A curtain
Flutters and flies through the
Dark days and bright nights
It hides what is hidden
forgiving lies that shouldn’t
Be forgiven
I am a female trapped in my mind
I am that girl who is consistently unsure about herself
The pale ghost stares at the filthy mirror.
He sees not himself; with that happy scowl and playful temperment.
The pale ghost makes the suface clearer.
He sees not himself, but his own warm disembodiment.
I have a voice worth hearing but will it ever be heard?
A song worth singing but will it ever be sung?
Rejection is a feeling that can cripple the tallest building.
I have strong opinons but I keep them to myself.
My mother stumbles and falls
As my father grabs he bat.
Her head bangs against the walls
My mother stumbles and falls
My father muffles her calls
In her face he spits and spat
No one knows the real me.
I am a nobody disguised as a somebody.
Filling my life with sports and good grades.
I feel lost, insecure, and sometimes depressed.
Always trying to impress, full of stress,
Stress, sadness, fear,wory. I have a mask to cover
that up. Boredom, anger, doubt, loneliness, confusion,
regret. I can hide it. There truly is no know emotion
To all the ears listening in this noisy world,
This is me screaming.
And though my head is not in the pillow,
Or my mouth yelling,
THIS is me screaming.
Just as pencils scream across pages,
Who lies there, unseen, in the darkness of day,
While soaking in silence, saying all is "okay?"
Who mumbles their words to the worms and the birds
Since their own kind just bellows and screeches and brays?
I am not a piece of meat for you to devoure
But I may tease you just to satisfy myself
I am a woman
I am not wearing tight clothing just to here the cat calling
But I may smile to myself to now I am wanted
Poem
The vast, vast field
A brush of air
Wind that pinches my hair back
A micro whisper that is the sound
of wind against a window
The screeching void in my ears as I dare to stare
“Lies are a thief in the night,
cradle-snatchers that whimper in their blood-drenched chains,
and the truth is but a thrice-broken bone, snapped again.
Humility is a coward's
cross
deserved.
I love the way it wakes me.
It helps me rise up and start my day.
The way it refreshes my mind helps keep me open-minded.
It is my first love.
A mask on a scarecrow
An alibi for an ant on a hill
A sleep for the slumbered
A reality where nothing is real
Can a nobody mascaraed as a no-one?
Can a rock mascaraed as a stone?
Did not see him till I looked back
he watched with niether intrest or indifference
by his left foot he kept a small sack.
I chocked at the sight of it for it was oddly reminiscent
When I was 6 years old,
my hand would soar to the clouds,
beaconing an answer to every question.
My teacher’s praises would help me fly,
while others took aim and with a BANG,
shot me from the sky.
Hey what's with the frown
I was just crying in the shower
Don't worry it's just something I do
From time to time
Don't give me that look
I'm not one to cower
The world to us is all sublunary.
We are all ever changing and imperfect.
We hide behind that mask so no one sees us.
Because we are all ever changing and imperfect.
But I?
THE CHURCH FOR THE MOST PART HAS DRIFTED AWAY FROM ITS MISSION,
NO LONGER CONCERNED WITH SAVING THE LOST BUT RATHER WORLDLY RECOGNITION!
IT IS NO LONGER CALLED A CHURCH BUT A CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP CENTER,
Paint my face with make up,
Make sure my hair is perfect,
Buy the most in style clothes,
Thirsty Thursday, Tailgate Friday, Turn Down for what Saturday,
OH SHIT what did I do this weekend sunday,
There is a shadow over me. It keeps me from being myself, scared of judgement. I wear a mask that gives the illusion of normal, everything I am not. This shadow, this curtain hides my wants, hides my needs, hides me.
I dont like you talking to him
I dont think thats a good choice for you.
i dont think you should dress like that
i dont think you should talk to them
What "you dont think" i should do
Behind this mask i wear, behind my fake face, there lies my true image. Broken beyond repair, shattered into million peices, a tortured soul
I have a curtain in my life,
One I cannot deny.
If I pull this curtain back,
My life I would defy.
Behind this curtain lies a voice
That desperately longs to be heard,
But if I let this voice cry out,
I will not reach for the curtain.
It is safe behind the curtain.
I know what is on the other side and I cannot face it alone.
Some have seen my feet peaking out from underneath the curtain.
The streets are dark and enclosed like veins, my veins.
Cities with cars zooming through, the clock in my heart strikes twelse and beats and loud thump.
I wish my veins weren't jumbled like cities,
My name is Destiny
I was a believer in great things before you came inside my life
Way deep down, hidden from sight,
Like stars in the day instead of the night,
I keep concealed where no one can see,
The inner, braver, courageous me.
Cowed by timidity, marked by blank fear,
Why can't anyone see the me that is truly me?
All they see is a mask
That does the un me task
the one that shows no fear
the one who is not really here
I wish to show you the me that is really me
Look at me.
See the smile on my face?
You'd never guess the effort it takes
To pull my lips back;
In front of the world I’m not myself
I’m always smiling but there is something else
I walk around with the biggest grin
A bright smile I present to those before me
That beautiful smile that often leaves the pain in my eyes unnoticed
A giggle escapes my lips
And little did my friends know that I am dying within.
Doctor, doctor,
Give me a pill,
Fix my broken mind,
Mark it with a seal,
Doctor, doctor,
Present me a cure,
Make me different than I was before,
Jesus, Jesus,
Send me a sign,
My days were dark, the hours slow
Out of bed I could not roll.
This dark, eery feeling crept into my heart,
When will my happy days finally start?
I pushed and I kicked and I screamed in my sleep,
Fourteen years
Bright eyes, skin and bones, beating hearts
And all I've got is a handful of broken pieces
And there's the emotions
Wrecking havoc on this soul of mine
Tearing it apart piece by piece
My silence kept me alone.
I remained invisible to everyone around me.
My thoughts stayed closed off to the world.
No one understood who I could be.
Slowly but surely I grew.
How am I to know?
My life of which is made up of,
Scenes just seen by those of whom
Who do not know my daydreams
I am not known.
By witnesses to every act,
Knowing what I do and say
Stubborn and partially rude seemed to be what they are used to seeing
, sometimes goofy, flirtatious, and crazy or even causing a scene.
People are oblivious to what lies underneath,
Have you ever seen a Venetian Mask?
Have you beheld its beauty?
Have you studied its intricacy?
Look at its colors.
Look at its shape.
In my heart you will find,
A thorn bush grown with time.
Rose buds are here and there,
But not one blooms anywhere.
In my mind you will see,
Scattered thoughts floating endlessly.
One time this classmate told me I had no personality.
It wasn't my fault that I couldn't hold a conversation for more than two minutes without feeling jolts of anxiety run through my body.
When we were younger we looked at masks as beautiful ordornments, not realizing as we awed at the creative mind behind the maker that we too would wear a metaphorical mask when we grew up.
I would love to show the real me
But she is hidden behind a curtain
I must not show her until she is deemed acceptable
Unfortunately when she is acceptable she may be dead
but our hearts are on the brinkof killing us quickpoisoning our veinsand melting our brainswhere have we gonefaded into the shadows
Walking through the school hallway,
judgement hall,
eyes focused on the tile,
one step after another,
one breath after another,
face blushing: a red mask of anxiety.
They walk around
Without a clue
They are bound
To remember you
You hear the whispers
You see the stares
They already know you're scared
But do they even really care
You're tired of fighting
Words --
Looks --
Society --
Fear --
Pain --
Insecurities --
Peers --
Rejections --
There are infinite reasons of why we do not show our true selves.
MOSAIC
Time slows as the vase
falls, almost as if floating like a feather.
--She works hard, you know.
He drinks, drinks and drowns
He hides yesterday's problems in a bottle
While his son hides in his room
Pull back the curtain,
The elegant curtain,
With pattern and pleating and frilled applique;
Still the back of the curtain
Is tattered, decrepit.
Someone could help you if you'd let them in.
Pill after pill after pill after pill
why do i have to take these pills i take them everyday
ADHD doesn't seem like a medical problem to i get to be me
full of and energy and ready to go and i still have self control
Some may call me Ash,
and if they do, they know I am after this cash.
To further my education,
and eventually improve this nation,
in which I live,
because my true desire is to give.
I am a mask,So many think they know who I am,but they don't care to ask,Yes, they are content with my maskWho am I? One of many made to pleaseWho is me?
Who am I?
I care for others but do they care for me?
Am I just an existing being like a boring tree?
Who am I?
I smile and encourage others like I'm not in pain.
But who will save me? What do I have to gain?
I'm as fake as my eyelashes.
The current of cosmetics I hide behind
isn't me.
In truth, I've always wanted to be pretty.
I've spent money, time, tears, trying
Behind this face reveals another mistake
From true beauty hidden by folds of uncertainty
The smile once on my face, prevails to be inside in another place
There is nothing to see here. Please, avert your eyes
All you’ll unveil are her secrets and lies.
A porcelain mask that collects drops of fear.
Walk away from the curtain. You do not belong here.
Crack the skin
Of red wood,
And listen-
rising curtains with
rising trumpets;
the piano plays
Furiously with passion
as drums strike so catchy.
Joy and calm is on the face
while a torrent of misery should take its place.
Calm to the world and all to see
all because I must hid the real me
with concerns and worries all in my mind
The girl behind the curtain
projects a better face
than the one hidden
in another place.
The girl behind the curtain
wants to be seen,
but she doesn't have courage,
My alarm goes off too soon
I hit the snooze button to put life on hold for a few more minutes
I get out of bed, start the coffee, get dressed
I already dread the day ahead
Her Jupiter eyes,
Hold so many wonders,
With so many questions
What is hidden inside?
She skips through the dark
As nobody sees,
She giggles with laughter
As she burns quite a spark.
Look at me for answers,
Thats what they do, And I gladly provide
Ask myself for answers, only to met with silence
Calm and collected is what they all see,
If you were to meet me, you'd see a shy girl.
Someone who sits in the back corner
Someone who talks as little as possible
Someone who keeps to herself
I said i'm going to rise to the top of the mountain....wait wait wait...
I said I'm going to rise to the top of the mountain.
Stand on this stage declaring my Name,say.
Because I am a king, ayee.
I dreamed a dream of a little girl in a yellow dress
She was dancing with the white roses
Her feet running gaily Her arms twirling as if she was a ballerina
She turned to smile at me….
In the gloom corner of a room a box resides.
Free to all, although no one dare peak inside.
A lone, beautiful, brown, leather outer casing,
With a black lid that hides the inner makings.
On the outside I am calm
On the outside I am friendly
On the outside I am kind
Behind the curtain I am confident
Behind the curtain I am skilled
Lina Lamont? Kathy Selden?
Which one am I?
I'm both and neither
I am always both and neither.
The me I know
Speaks up for my beloved
Standing up for what’s in the wrong
Showering my friends with love and joy
And
Not even hesitating to protect my prized.
I walk into my sanctuary, the Chorus room
Everyone is talking and laughing
But I just slip silently behind them
As I awkwardly wait for the bell to ring
I want to be one of them
The people who talk and laugh
Plants are like people,
They all come in different colors
Just like Whites, Asians or Hispanics
Come in all shades,
Like all the colors of people.
Just because I am Hispanic,
I put on my mask every morning
The mask with the smile and the bright eyes
Sometimes I don't need my mask, yet
Other times desparately
I don't want you to worry about me
About how i am so sad
You're abnormal it is plain to see
People can't help but to stare.
Your cries for help go unheard,
But I heard you, this I swear.
I offer you shelter from unwanted eyes,
Who is she? That girl over there?
"Nah," they say. "Don't worry about her. She ain't nothing."
"She lame. She this. She that..."
Oh, but if only they knew. If they knew the real me.
Forgive me my son,
For I have led you astray.
This is why I left you
on that unforgetful day.
I leave you my love and
only ask you understand
I will see you here in Heaven
Satisfaction is a result of success
Yet satisfaction means more can be done,
To be satisfied is to be inferior.
To be content means you haven't won.
Ask someone sane the definition of sanity
They will say normality,
Ask someone insane the definition of insanity
They to will say normality,
Ask them repeatedly and you will get the same result.
Behind this smile,
Beyond this appearance of satisfaction,
Lies a broken dream;
With hands of reform,
And optimism,
I will pierce the impenetrable seam.
I have no foible,
They made me wear a mask when I was younger.
Days went by and a new stitch was added to the mask.
It was starting to fit my face perfectly.
"Do this," they said.
"Do that," they demanded.
Pay no attention to the girl behind the mask.
There’s smoke in the mirror changing what I see.
Round 1:
You ask your parents how they feel about gay people
"trash" "freaks" "sinners"
I was never aware
That I was not the only one
Suffocating behind the contstraints
Of a mask of my own making.
That other people are in pain
Just as I am.
Trying to get along in life
I'm meant to think of Love, Smiles, and Clothes
Why can't I think simply that?
I think of Darkness, Chaos, and Sorrow
Left with just my thoughts it's misery
But that's never what the people see
Under the covers
Trying to find security
My little brothers
Can be something beastly
Fearful and shy is what I am
And they exploit my cowardice
Courage is trapped in a jar of jam
I’m talking to you,
And I see the weight fall off your shoulders and onto your face
In his essay "Self-Reliance," Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote,
"Society is a joint-stock company, in which...The virtue in most request is conformity."
Is this not the same society that taught me that everyone was unique?
Every time I go out
Open my eyes and see
I put on my mask
Help, people are watching me.
I’m tired of hiding
Cloaked in black folds and topped with wild curly hair; she is the Red Lip Baby
Glasses hanging off her nose and caramel skin glowing; she is the Red Lip Baby
Painstakingly different
Is how I always feel.
I try to fit in and I do with ease,
At first.
My Scarlet Letter is invisible to those around me,
But do not see the chains I carry.
A girl wears an invisible cloak
She feels hidden but she's still seen at most
She knows that they know
How weak she has shown
She was strong, courageous, daring
Though throughout the years she was breaking
My name is Ami.
It’s a friendly smile,
the sweet nectar that butterflies enjoy,
the common two syllables
with the Gujarati pronunciation
Follow me into the depths if you can withstand the shark,
This world placed spite in my heart,
I’m bothered by light,
So I’m comfortable in the dark,
Individualistic by character,
I'm hating the state of mind I seem to currently reside in
I've been left defenseless if feels like the world has got me running and hiding
Nothing seems right anymore with how this pressure is making me feel
How?
We claim we're real niggas
Sayin that we tote guns and our racks are gettin bigger
Anyone who steppin, we wanna plug the trigger
Yellin I want a bad bitch, better if she thicker.
One can realize many things from all the worldly viewsPeople are like canvases, white and blank and newOwners of this art, realize there's much to do.
Envy carressing my every move
As soon as I get free there is always a different need to prove
Sweating, stressing, and epileptic, from all this magnitude
Sinister thoughts screaming from these demons that intrude
On the outside I am quiet
When an opportunity for me to say something comes up
I rarely take it
I am afraid of being judged
look and realize how i'm just another guy but its going deeper then that,
i skate spots or get fried all the damn but maybe it's just because i'm sad,
fear all up in my head feelings usually descrete how can i manage this?
I am a giant in this world
The genetic anomaly that everyone despises
Screwing up the gene pool
Making everything a mess
Not because I am mutated but simply because I am different
I have a secret.
You see, I've been playing a game of hide n' go seek
And I am the champion.
Where is my championship hiding spot?
The closet.
There I hide.
I hide from
Ugly words
We come from a conservative past
To a high tech future moving way to fast
The fate of these lands
Are now forced into our hands
Will we bring distress to an end
Will we have the efficiency to mend
Live Beautifully
Life is only what you do in the short time you have
Life is the time you spend filling your lungs
Life is the simple things that make it
Life is the things you cannot fake
My feelings are those that a degree man has yet to discover: Uncover, write a report, and burn it with a torch because I choose to feel what they write down as unreal, as they conceal in their journal notes with question marks.
I don't wear dresses
or high heeled shoes
I'm known for my messes
necklaces and rings, I'd most likely lose
All that was taken
All that was lost
Puts me here, on this cross
With this cross come sympathy
Sympathy I'd rather not bare
So I just remain here
In this chair
I am so scared
This voice is overpowering
Living in a society so cold and heartless,
It's hard to be bold and dauntless
Without the words of other individuals
Flowing out of their mouths
As they criticize and penalize you.
I pull shut the curtain of the poorly-lit dressing roomI shimmy out of my jeans to try on a dress for an event I don't want to go toI look down at my thighs and see my battle wounds
Even this starts my heart racing
My blood pulsing faster than from the ink to this page
Hidden thoughts behind your Mona Lisa expressions
are a treasure I covet
Do your friends realize the values of these thoughts?
I am a girl of laughs and smiles
No one can grasp how I remain so positive when I have problems that drag out for miles
I present myself very well and stand so tall
Almost as if nothing can push me down or make me fall
I have something that wants to get out
Beating on my chest so hard I want to shout
Feelings! I keep way down
Crazy things, I hate the way they sound
Bad thoughts to people or things
Emotion, what a rarely shown thing;
That keeps some back and pushes some forward.
proud some sing,
while some voices are blurred.
Do you hide like they do?
The courage that seems to hold true.
Black eyes, black hair, white face
I see myself but does anyone see me?
Too afraid to show but slowly the mirror is cracking
What am i ashamed from?
The faces around me or my own
There lay a story of a lonely sailor
Taming the tumultuos sea
Taming the vivid monstrosity;
You laugh at me,
So I tend to flee.
I hide behind this mask,
I’m just trying to finish this task.
You call me names,
To you it’s just games.
You fill me full of pain,
So you want to know the real me?
The part I've never let anyone see?
A girl resides inside my head,
living but close to being dead.
I keep her hidden, but she's not safe.
The forge is hot, and the fire is red
My arms are screaming, feeling dead.
The iron glows like a burning brand
And the anvil sings beneath my hand.
I stop and think about my task
I've always thought that thinking outside the box was a good thing.
When I look in the mirror,
I dont see what you see.
To me it feels like the whole world is targeting me!
Despite all the pain and hardships I seen,
It has changed what I have inside of me.
Those thoughts in your head,
Came from people who dont understand
They came at you with comments,
That had you sad for a moments
Then you thought and questioned
"Am i really this much of a disappointment?"
Who notices the kid
With the glasses and the braces?
Walking through the crowded halls
Getting lost in all the faces.
Curtain of Hair
Anna R Lopez
As a young girl I never truly believed I had beautiful hair, never believed I was beautiful at all.
As we grow older we realize there's always a name to a face
We no longer look behind the eyes or into the soul
to find a personality or trait.
But rather judge by age, color, and race.
fragile like a recordwe all break too easilywhy can't I be tough or thick-skinnedwhy can't I shed these stupid cracks in my limbs?
I can't even play a song anymorewithout stopping, skippingstuck
Astounding, how we can all wear the same mask and not realize it. The fake smile, the convincing laugh, the mastered skill of appearing happy. The act people keep up when they wish to keep their inner battles a secret from the world.
Day in and day out we search for answers,
for solutions to problems no ones asked us to solve,
for reasons behind already proven facts like
"Why does the sun leave us every day?"
Complexion
Tones and shades that make up me
But why?
That’s what I ask my self,
Shielded by the hatred of Hera
I am blind
To me,
Why can’t I see what they see?
Theres no poetic way to say i'm not okay.
"How do you stay so happy?"
"How are you always so positive"
They have no clue that i'm anything but
I sit here on the edge of my bed and it occurs to me
When you look my way, you don’t see the inner struggle.
The fighting battle that causes so much trouble.
When you see me you see an ordinary person,
But really deep inside its all one big diversion.
Don't hide who you are.
What's the worst that could happen?
In life you'll go far,
If you treat yourself like a captain.
I wear a mask,
I wear a mask that says there is no monster underneath
I wear a mask that says there is no knife in the sheath
I wear a mask ,
As a kid you were the one that got teased because you had a double everything.
Like double chin, double stomach rolls.
You starved yourself in front of people so they couldn't crack jokes..
All alone in a dark room
Glazing, yet staring
It's just me, myself and I
Trying everything in my right mind not to cry
I promise myself I would get through
It's just hard to smile through a terrible mood
Eyes shut tight, crying and screaming
We are given a mask titled baby
Mouth mide open, laughing with friends
We are given a mask titled popular
We aren't born with insecurity,
But over time we lose our pride
and with it our perfect purity
when told we've something to hide.
We take a being so unique
And demand from it conformity,
i'm really so simple!
so innocent and plain,
my minds races wonders
i am without stains
and this makes me so mad
because it is me,
and yet this girl
has yet to be free
All alone in this crowded room.My eyes meet one…another.They do not see me for what I am.They see the smile on my face;
Someday they will see the real me,
Instead of who they think they see
I try to blend in, not make any scenes
I'm quiet and thoughful
Nobody seems to take time
anymore to really listen
It's about them
Who am I, who is this person that I've become?
I find myself crying in a corner, wishing that it could all be undone.
Constanly judged by wandering eyes, who am I?
Only I have the power to decide.
Sometimes
I am the clown
Making people laugh
with quirks, with jokes, with funny faces
Sarcastic quips flow from me like rain falls from angry thunderclouds
Other times, I am the mouse
Hiding
My mask is pretty
it's flashy and loud and bright
a boisterous laugh and exaggerated hand gestures
an obnoxious voice and a too wide smile
My mask is strong
its varnish my fear of rejection
With friends it’s all fun and games
By myself its nothing but pain
Scared to take a chance
On the outside I’m bold
Self-assured
confident
and competent
with straight A's.
Drowning in papers
and teenage angst
self-concious
broken
secret people pleaser
hopeless pessimist
A Kaleidoscope Image
With every turn, Your image swirls for bypassers
...
Just a sad face on the corner, your neighbor has seen you.
And all for verse, I wrote it.
To preach for our
Humble experiences.
We have miles, and the seas behind us,
From the farthest
Splashes, we
Have Carved out harmony
It’s so much easier to be a part than a whole,
A piece of a puzzle that’s already solved.
But one piece can’t be a picture
Can’t be understood
Without the others.
What if you were a painting-
Life can be tough and people acknowledge that
But they don't realize how much I hide
Behind my curtain of lies
They see my shining smile and happy step
But all I feel is depressed and lonely
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain.
She's just a body.
Just a cabinet, shoddy.
Look away, look back, look at the more certain.
A serene statue lost in the crowd
Scarred wrists and stolen innocence
Playing war and failing at failing in
the constant game of survival
A coffee too bitter to sweeten with milk and sugar
I stand here petrified, awaiting for the storm of judgment
I want my voice to be heard, I want my voice to reach the far seas
Sit down
Good girl
Close your eyes when you pray
Always look happy, even if you aren't
Look at her
She never makes a mistake
Always does what she's told
Always listens
Always holy
Each and everyday,
I pretend and hide away,
Though many do not see,
That is not truly me.
I wish that I could show,
There's so much that they don't know,
But my past is still not known,
The maskMade of angels and demonsShows the good and hides the bad
The maskDisguises what is insideConcealing hardship and hurt
The maskShows a light on the outsideAnd struggles to find inside
I amI am the kid who grow up in the lower class only plastic cups no crystal glass.I am from a family of five it should of been six but I lost a little brother and can't offered to lose another.
New places, new faces
Same me.
Same girl.
The only difference is the new faces
She sees look back at her
With disdain.
Disdain at the music she listened to
The clothes she wore
This fabric, cloaks me in darkness….
The cage within my inner mind fights amongst my own thoughts
A whirl wind of confusion.
I wonder…
Did Confucius mean to be confusing in his proverbs?
Close my eyes
Runaway and hide
Don’t let them inside
They’ll just hurt you, not really there for you
All they do is lie
All that have tried
That had sat with me while I cried
Pretending is something that comes second nature to me
Everyday Im putting on a million of masks that no one can see, and
that behind is a damaged child full of pain and agony who wishes to be free.
Laugh.
Smile.
Agree.
Don’t fight.
You’re getting too close.
Slam the door.
Pull the blinds.
Cut the ties.
Leave them behind.
You’re getting too close.
I hide unsatisfied behind, this shield of mine scared of the world, hoping one day to be that kid that finally comes from the her shadows, im just a girl running away from her fears, hoping that these fears won't turn into tears.
Something that makes me smile,
I'm not really sure,
Maybe it's season aisle,
Maybe it's immature
I enjoy the sunshine,
When peeking through the trees
The needles of the pine,
We are the storied questers,
Introducing ourselves with tattered names and all the jokes we know.
We build our suspecting images of each other,
That person you just saw smile so genuinely,
Laugh so loud.
That was me who you get to see.
The other me? Well she’s too quiet,
Lo and behold, friends, my life dressed in gold,For nothing else does my glory justice:Here rooms of color, each so grandly bold,And marvelous! You'd swear't an angel's kiss.
Under my sleeves there are scars you see
they were created so deep that they will never leave
constantly reminding me of how much I caused my family to grieve
under this smile you'll soon come to know
The only me I enjoy is the me I like to hide.
The me not everyone sees is persistently making terrible puns, she makes bizarre faces and calls it fun.
It screeched in my ears,
Echoing across the earth.
The everlasting sky bent to hear,
the Presents of Death and Birth.
My mother's hands comforting,
My father's coarse yet warm.
I'm an extroverted introvert
Please don't get it confused
You may think I'm very social
I'm foolproof in my ruse
I've been compared to a turtle
I retreat at the first sign of danger
People call me a perfectionist. And I would agree with them.
I would at least, if they asked me.
Perfection. It is expected, so I will deliver.
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain
Unconfident and lonely she's nothing but a burden
Instead look at me in my Instagram feed
Selfies, vacations, and the funniest memes
I've bought the clothes, I've styled my hair,
But it's not fair, no it's not fair!
I've put on all this make-up, to not look like a freak;
And to keep up my physique, I haven't eaten in a week.
What is a delusion but a demented dream
What is a distraction but the illusion your mind is truly diverted
What is divorce but a family perverted
The cape of a superhero, prevented from billowing beneath tight clothes.
A gilded heart tarnished.
A polar bear with fur white as snow, tainted with the blood of a meal
I used to hide behind the mask of violence and anger,
Lost in a world of pain, I realized I hade to change,
Now a lover, friend, and sister I am renewed.
On the outside I reveal my sweet smile,
But lately I haven't been showing my face around
I keep to myself avoiding you for awhile
I'm sorry when you see me that my sweet smile is bound
Don't cry don't weep
Who I am? That is not the question, but
Who are you?
We are not different. Open your eyes, you are me.
We are the same.
Same person, same air.
Who is the girl behind the curtain?
I don’t even know her name?
All I have thought of her for years now is profane.
Where is the girl behind the curtain?
Why does she run and hide?
The wind stirred
And billowed about
My heart beat
As steady as the drums
I was ready.
Spreading my arms
I looked at the crashing sea below
And all I want to know is
Are you okay
Or do you merely say you are
To avoid weird glances
And long awkwards talks about feelings
That do absolutely nothing
Their perfect little daughterMaking perfect gradesIn every clubTop of her classPeople stare and say:"She's just an overachiever.""What a teacher's pet.""Does she not have a life?"
Sipping on my drink, dark bitter brew and drunken irish tunes add to distractions that aren't what they're me
The essence of Afro Normality
Afro-puffs and Kool-Aid sittin' on
The front pouch
Neither rich nor poor
When I am myself
I get to be the true me
I don't have to hide my feelings
I can let my joyous smiles and bubbling laughter go
I get to be the proud senior who graduates
1.) If Newborn Babies Could Speak They Would Be The Most Intelligent Beings On Planet Earth
No one sees the real me,
under the smile and all the laughter,
and the friendly conversation,
there's a cloak of sadness covering me,
depression stalking my every move,
never letting me go,
I am me, a diabolical scheme.
I am a smile with pink lips,
I am that woman that they say, "Excuse me, Miss?"
A pretty face, but behind the painting that I reveal is a story.
Can I take this mask off now?
It smells like mold, like a forgotten fish tank
Probably from all of the long trapped tears
Can I take this mask off now?
I cannot see through the eye slits
See the girl with a pencil?
She seems bright
Intelligent maybe
But she hides behind a curtain
Leave all doors opens,
I don't know if I'll return.
I'm stuck between trying to he
Myself,
The perfect daughter,
A flawless, better version of my sister,
masquerade.
a masquerade of sorts,
and i shall hide behind
the velvet curtain.
streaming down to cover my
light, blushed face.
vexation of no sorts,
i too begin to believe
I haven't had lessons since the age of three
but me?
I'm a dancer
Those rhythms in my soul are always pounding
Pulsating, shaking, crying, hoping, longing
For a dance floor
The way people see
Is not the real me
I present sweetly
But I fear they're all wrong
I'm a demon who lies
By the way of my disguise
Most everyone overlooks
A pleasant outside
Love is a four letter word
with a lot of deep meaning.
You search and search for the one,
and once you found it,
you want them to stay.
It all starts out with happiness and joy
My mind tells me to follow my heart but my heart has been broken so much it tells me to use my brain instead.
Why am i so fucked up in the head
sitting here wishing that i was dead.
Crying inside this shell called a body
wishing this disorder on nobody.
Why do i feel so empty inside,
Girl! Let me tell you
Life’s a game
With missing pieces to the puzzle
Eventually you find them
All broken up
I'm not here.
This hollow shell that walks around is not the person you think.
I play the part you want to me to play.
You can't see me.
My true self is kept hidden away.
This mask I wear... is one with me
I am fury, passion and chaos.
Hiding behind this curtain,
hiding these silent tears trailing down.
Show me your true self,
staring down into those still depths
I am not who you think I am
Sam I am,
Act as though you have it all together “they say”
Be Together and Do Your Best “teacher says”
You can be anything “they say”
Live to you full potential “sister says”
I hide behind it and look outhow are you?
It nods, acqueses and smiles withoutwho am I?
I see the inside and feel the paindon't show it!
On the surface there's no complaintwhat is it?
facade, mask, cloak, camouflage, veil
it doesent matter what you call it
we all have one
what matters is how deep you are inside that blanket of mystery
the me you see isn’t the me at all
The facade of the lionWith the sheep spirit.Proud and powerful with the weakness screaming out to hear it.Independent, I don't need anybody.No one to ever know that the curtain is shoddy.
Like a light bulb I sit wondering. When will I shine?
When will you see this light that's been trapped inside?
There's a song that I sing, a melodic step.
A ryhthmic groove, a feeling I get.
I Want To Be... What?
Who I am is not what you see
Who I am is not what most people want me to be
I glorify God
I envy those that shine in the light,
Those who aren't afraid to fight
for who they are.
For every time I think it's time,
For every time I say that this moment, this one is surely mine,
Preference is irrelevent
Superiors care none for what you choose
Superficial injury like a bruise
But the pain goes deeper
Hold in your feelings
Your preference would send them reeling
I run from the light that reveals me
Into the shadows that consume me
The shadow of guilt
I hold it within myself
Sacrificing my soul to its desire
I hide my face
Yet I can never fool myself
Being 15 is a prick
going through changes
that make you sick
wishing to go back to the good old days
Once a baby
young and helpless
crawling around
causing a ruckus
Perfection is an illusion
It is the invisible lock that keeps us from unleashing maximum potential
There is no curtain
I am my only roadblock
The things people judge me for are the things that make me so beautiful
Before I speak, they believe in the simple and common that lies within me,
After I speak, they flee and judge from afar.
Time after time, many don't understand,
Stand tall, straighten your toes
Student,
Your strides should be steady steps
Forward
School is a necessary distraction
Present your projects, prioritize,
There once was a bobble-head,
it says yes to everything said
either boy or girl
from out of this world
the bobble-head always said yes.
His name was skinny Rem Tim,
Hello,
is anyone there?
Anybody at all?
Ive cried too much.
This demon,
it has me locked,
locked deep inside.
It has me lynched
and lifeless.
It drained all of my life,
i never thougth i'd be this depressed,
wondering when the lights gonna fade.
I never thought the pain would get worse,
scaring, and lining my arms from blades.
I never thought hurting could feel so good
Im fine,
but i need help.
I just tired,
dont leave me alone.
Stop questioning me,
just ask me whats wrong.
Go away,
i dont want you to leave.
Im done,
somehow,
Confusion fills my head
torn between mixed emotions
it breaks me apart
piece by piece
my heart falls
into an abyss called pain
The days pass
and i feel more and more empty
i cant help
They scream,
they shout,
the cry
my name.
they wait,
and sit,
and stare
at me.
The urges
the feelings
the fears
come back
all feelings
from one
What will happen when
love turns to hate
passions turns to fear
and life turns to death
What will happen when
agony, sorrow, and pain
controll all your emotions,
when the ones that
We all make mistakes
i live in a life full of them.
All of the mistakes i've made
make me a giant mistake.
Every day new mistakes
I wish i could go back
and right the wrongs
The day that he left us he left for so long
He avoided my eyes and said, “Baby, be strong.”
My small and frail body in a heap by the door
I knew after that day I’d see Daddy no more.
Broken hearted
rip it out
do it slow
dont make me shout
Make me bleed
and drip me dry
wipe my tears
as i cry
take the knife
drive it in
make me feel
Each day, i wonder
what my life would be like
if i hadn't made the first cut
if my emotions hadn't overpowered me
if i wasn't so desperate to let it out
It started with one and then another
In my family, its not about your dreams
Its about what they want you to do
They want me to be a lawyer or a doctor
Without having a clue of what I want
I hide my notebooks under my homework
Running out in the Sun
Sounds like Fun
Laughter fills the air
From the distance I glare.
Long pain of despair.
My mask can no longer spare
The amount of sadness I can't stand
if there ever is a day when im gone
when the wind sweeps me away with the pale dust and dingy acidic rain
if there ever comes a day when my mouth is sewn shut for good and
Welcome to a world of fun
A carnival of toys and guns
Nobody wins, we’re quivering
The only prize is you can’t leave…
All these clowns are made of masks—
You become what you paint on your faces
On the outside I'm
Logical calm and
Ready to battle
Saddled up
For anything
That life brings
But on the inside I'm
Struggling
Juggling
Everything at once
Painful dance
Across the ocean I've cried.
I've heard my name called by the night.
Even as I've hid my eyes
The waves seem to know my plight
They'd gladly rock me to sleep.
They'd gladly watch me sink.
I'm an odd one,If there's anhng I have leared these past 1 yearsIt's that.
I realized recentlyThoughSomething peculiar, if you will
i hide behind a mask
So I could hide my tear
Soo that peole can't see my emotions
I make sure that no one can jude me
My sexuality is what hide the most from everyone
Blackness, blackness, blackness- would you imagine my mind is just as black
As my shoes and my clothes and my eyes and my hopelessly dark arm hairs.
I am like the ocean
The further and deeper you go
The more unique and beautiful features you find
Deep in the ocean there are colorful reefs where colorful fish swim
Me
That is all I will ever be.
I scream, I shout, I cry
No one even sees me try.
My hair falls over my face.
Life is such a disgrace
I hate the darkness in which I live
In the morning, I don't have time to go slow
Because I have to be at the church
At 5:50 am
To make God happy.
In this mask I am silly, goofy, and i act just like my shoe size.
I am really childish, and don't listen to anyone.
My actions describe who and why I am me.
My skin color is silk brown and I am hilarious to my friends.
The face you see is not the face you recieve
But it seems, oh woe, no one doth care.
Ones heart would be a sticky sieve,
Yet others are unaware.
The curtain drapes heavy over our masked production,
They sink with anger in the depths of Tartarus,
But no one sees them cry.
They crawl and snarl and shout with madness,
But no one really knows why.
They climb a mountain without any legs,
Sometimes I don’t know the difference
Between what I say and what I feel.
I just
Smile
Smile
Smile
Smile
And nod.
I’m lost in a crowd of people who hear me
But they don’t.
Curtains have a vaery unique place in our world
Their soul purpose is to block something
To block something in particular out for everyone else to see
On the stage stands
A loud, confident young woman
She always answers questions in class
Her voice clear and unwavering
She is comfortable in her skin
On the stage stands
A just, moral young woman
He wears a mask that often lies.
It sheilds his face from the tears he cries.
Inside his heart is breaking in two.
And people walk by, they haven't a clue.
But one thing that he has yet to know?
'Come out and play'
that chiding voice inside my head
calls out to me
as I hide in the corner
reclusive
The scars inside are too deep
for even me to see
And they never break the surface
She carries a black backpack with her embroidered monogram on the front. Inside is the work that it will take to get her where she wants to be.
Every angel has a demon,
Just as every light
Creates a shadow,
And it gets more arduous
To separate the two each day.
As the sun rises, my Angel rises.
She likes to please others.
When I was four I loved my brother and he broke his arm
he screamed and fell and I didn't know what to do
so I gave him marshmallows
When I was seven I loved a doll and I cut its hair
When someone yawns
I think to myself,
Are they really tired
Or are they silently screaming?
Those flaws uncovered, hidden by the masks we wear on a day to day basis.
Those flaws uncovered that goes unheard and is plainly written on our faces.
Dear Lord help me remove this mask that reaveals the true me.
Every day I wake up, and I do my routine:
I put on my mask, and I build up my wall:
I am confident. I am perfect. I’m brave.
Nothing can hurt me; I will not be afraid.
I am happy. I am pretty. I’m strong.
People see me and assume they know everything about me based off of the little information they know.
If I let you in my head,
Make sure to bring a lantern,
Some holy water and a bible,
If you have it handy
Don't open the doors;
You won't like what you find
There are monsters hiding there,
Pay No mind
To the flesh behind porcelain
For it is weak and breakable.
Pay no mind
To the tears behind the glass
For they are as old as the moons themselves.
I am like a box of chocolates
Many pieces and flavors
If you don't know what a piece is, ask someone
And you will find out.
There are many interests that I have,
but to find out
You just have to ask
What lies behind my smile? Behind my
glinting eyes...?
You know that's a question I could answer for you,
but not to cliche you to death,
to tell you would be to kill you.
I know, I know
Cue the lights, draw the curtains.
I am the star of the show,
smiling big and bright for everyone to see,
making people laugh, always seeing the better side of me,
never too serious about learning or grades.
Everything I want to say,
but, no- I'll hold back.
Everything you need to know,
but, no- I'll hold back.
Trapped by my inablitiy to form words,
so, yes- I'll hold back.
Why do i always wake up sad?
Is it acceptable to be mad?
My head hurts.
But then again, what doesn't hurt.
I feel every emotion a person can feel.
Sometimes, nothing seems real.
My smile hides my inner me
The one I wait for people to see
Someday I fear they'll recognize
The turmoil deep in my eyes
What to do and what to say
I feel life fading day by day
Behind my wall there's a confident woman waiting to show herself.The world judges this type of person.She's never understood why.
You can't see me
When I'm with them
Because I blend in.
You won't see me
Stand out
Because I'm a master of disguise.
It's so cool
To see spies
In movies.
I have no armor against the fork-tongued and heart-piercing.
I’m not covered in a blanket of deceit best suited for comfort.
My face is not painted a pretty picture for the ease of outsiders.
Noise
The commotion
I need to
Stand out, be bold
But what is inside me
Needs to be told
I am me
Not them
Myself
Without it
If you knew the real me,
what would I be to you?
The gum on your shoe?
A random leaf on the Earth's floor?
Or would I be
I told myself that I was a mistake.
All my life I was told that there is greatness inside of me.
But all I can see inside of me are flaws.
There is a man in need of change and food and clothes and shelter
He asked me could he pump my gas for 2 petty silver quarters
I look around and see them watching me interact with him
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
Says the voice of the little man caught in his own lie
He asks you to ignore his physical form
and instead focus on the facade
There is a mysterious man behind my curtain.
Who is not always sure or certain.
He is shy and quiet, yet sometimes outspoken.
This bag on my head
was put there a long, long, time ago.
and it was put there
so no one would see
what was wrong.
my father had lost his job
my grandfather was in the hospital
a lot.
They call him Peter Pansexual
When it came to love he didn't discriminate
Not many know but this is not that unusual
Not many can really appreciate
But those more criminal
Seek to eliminate
Masquerade balls in school lunch lines:
I'm fine, why do you ask?
Pretend is all I can do.
Pretend like I don't feel torn apart.
Pretend like I even know who I am.
Leading a double life ain't no walk in the park,
For the division really isn't clear.
The line that we tread, it's so unclearly marked
So far yet it's oh so near
I don't lift the veil for good reason
Its a floodgate
And there's a lot of water
Before you laugh in my face and tell me that it was my fault,
Know that I, am well aware
I fell for you and i thought I knew what I was doing
I thought I could play the game as well as the game master himself
You say i am nice
But I have a dark side
My heart has been sliced
By your hurtful lies
I hide behind this curtain
For i am uncertain
Even though I look unbroken
The real me is broken
Black shadow ,pale skin
Sorrow and sadness
Sadness and sorrow
A tear rolls down, a wet cheek
Make believe is comforting,
Loving the sense of security traps you,
False pretense of the being you thought to be you,
Ugliness and jealousy clouds me,
The real me sees the opportunity as deal,
The purest color of all others
The most revealing if stained
Yet this color hides my mind from lurking emotions
Invincible sadness that would otherwise consume my entire being
Curtains cover your eyes,
You refuse to pull them back.
I am no longer your little girl,
If you look at me,
You see happiness
You see a smile
You hear a laugh every few minutes.
When you look at me,
You don't see
The pain
The depression
The tears I want to shed
The deep dark secrets,
thoughts.
That harbor in the pit of my,
Soul.
Damned into an upside down abyss,
and at the very bottom,
I lie.
I am myself.
But, even so, my filter remains
Stops me from saying "I hate you"
To the man who hurt my best friend.
Stops me from saying "Go ahead"
When my friend threatens to kill himself.
Do you know the anguish of my soul?
Do you hear my heart cry in the midnight hour?
Take a razor to my scalp,
Remove the bone,
And pick through the crevices.
Often i find myself staring at the stars, and glazing upon the moonKnowing that theres more upon the world than we could ever knowCan it be the glazing stars that gives me hope to dream
I hide behind no curtain,
for it has been ripped from its batten.
Red velvet lays athwart the stage,
The outskirts are populous with my peers.
My soul lays bare and there is no turning back.
Here I am,
No one asks
No one tells
How can we live like this?
Behind the web of lies,
Behind a plastic smile,
Behind the iron curtain,
Its still happening.
My heart was one of darkness,
pain all consuming.
Scars standing out,
as if to mock me.
I was delivered a blow I
had been waiting for,
one that was going to shatter me.
Everyday a gift is given, the chance to start anew. So why do we hide?
We can alter our appearance in any way we see fit.
I tend to be a closed book.
I don't like to show others my feelings.
If i do I know they will have power over me.
I'm afraid of rejection.
I know I shouldn't be but I am.
The sins of the mother are what worry me
A cult is what she leads
Psychologically defective
I scream my invective
But what worries me are the seeds
Such things grow in genetics
Such freak heretics
My name. It scares me, and it forces me to hide.
I'm afraid of what people will say and what they'll think.
Consumed by my worries, soaked in tears that I've cried.
Imagine how waters flow
Like ink forever on a page
The way the words melt into place
Somehow they just know their way
And I just writ ethe message down
With every breath they whisper how
On Halloween the souls come out
To run and jump and live without
Remonder that they do not live
And happiness no longer gives
The way it always had before
They walked through the open door
"Ok, she admitted Mommy you were right.Something unrealized until there was absence of light.Every word her mother said kept running through her head.
The real Yessenia is ALWAYS on show for any and everyone.
I've heard I'm blunt. I'm rude. That I'm mean. But that's just me...
The one person who will tell you straight up what the fuck is wrong with you..
I'm familiar with the pain that comes from smiling for too long;
The repetitive aches have made my facial muscles strong.
I'm familiar with the pain that comes from crying for so long;
Who am I?Peel back the layers,Scream it to the masses; That I am unclean and undecided. Who am I?Scrub away the sludge atop my skin,
You found me,
Hanging there,
The note that I left,
is in your hands,
And as you read,
You start to remember all the signs,
And you start to realize that,
I could have been saved,
In the city of Toledo, Oh the art museum acquired a sculpture of two people facing each other hollowly hugging their knees comprised of letter and characters. I imagine myself as something like that.
She rules with an iron fist, but such grace and bliss
Yet among the shadows she remains
For her subjecs yet do not know
That their fair lady is among their mass
With beauty and kindness that will never pass
Had to close my room door because my thoughts were too loud, Or maybe …….because I’m too proud. Sometimes I refuse help from the ones I love the most sometimes I push close friends to the point where they aren’t so c l o s e.
I was the girl who was closed off
I was the loner
I was the loser
But then I came out of my shell
I got a boyfriend.
I got a best friend.
I found myself
Finally.
And now, to keep myself
When you peer through the halls and watch me pass by,
You think you know exactly what goes through my mind.
When you smile at me, I may grin back,
But you don't see what lies behind my mask.
I see dead people.
Population: 1.
But there's more on the inside
More voices in that mind
Climbing for the principal's chair, it turns the others mute and says
"Listen girl"
And says
During act one, what do you learn?
Is it the setting and maybe the time period?
What about the characters? What do you learn about them?
Names, ages, traits, and characteristics?
You stand in front of the mirror, wondering where everything went wrong.
You used to be so put together, so strong, so outgoing.
Now, you're just a shell of that person.
I am like the moon.
Most of the time people
Only see ¼ of me.
In pure darkness,
When people hide inside their houses,
They stare at me as a way to distract their faults.
“It’s okay, I’m tough” I’m stronger than they know
“It’s okay, I’m tough” I say,
And yet I’m so alone…
I stretch a slender smile wide across my o’erdrawn face
You can call me Oz. I rightly fit the name.
I hide behind a curtain cause my heart is filled with shame.
I'll tell you my little secret, but only if you won't tell.
I have the world hypnotized by my little spell.
You will see a un-lit room.
Inside that room you can see someone.
That person is trying to find the light switch.
The person thinks they have found it.
Motivation starts to rise within this person.
Your words are like a knife a dagger a double edged sword cutting through
Each time the wound gets deeper and deeper
So bad you can't take it anymore and wanna give up, don't.
I dedicate this to you
To all those who have suffered endlessly hopeless
Fighting to live another day just like today too
Rock paper scissors, oops you're out
Get out, out of my life I don't need you.
I stand on the cliffs rough edge,
A pack of wolves gathering behind me,
And so I have a choice,
Just one simple choice:
Stay or jump,
Jump or stay?
If I stay, I'm eaten alive
who am I?
I've never known, no one has ever known.
maybe I'll never know.
how do I identify myself?
I identify myself with the music I listen to, the clothes I wear, the people I hang out with-
The visible me is protection.
But not my protection.
Yours.
It is better to see me as I am;
good student,
good grades,
good manners,
good.
The visible me is protection.
POOF!
Now I am confident!
SNAP!
Now I am beautiful!
BOOM!
Now I am talented!
Here I stand,
So hear my demands!
My confidence has surly convinced you!
Every morning
I look in the mirror
At who I am
I'm sure to cover every bit
Until I'm unrecognizable
Wouldn't want anyone to know
My curls
My skin
This is one who creates, who tries to thrive, especially because she was dropped into the fierce tidewaves and learned to dive.
There is a difference between me and all of my friends that is very easy to spot. See, all my bros and bras have brothers and sisters, and yet I do not.
To "thy" that lies beneath the glow
consumed in fragrance of black salt.
Punctured and chained with a tightened bow
can me saying "thou" bring back a passionate soul?
I, Myself, Who is guinuine to the highest degree is not always as confident as everybody sees.
Who am I really?
It's not hard to say,
I'm the happy-go-lucky girl you see everyday.
I'm the girl who is always laughing.
I'm the girl who's always tough,
One day we'll live together, he promised.
One day we'll see each other every day, he promised.
One day we'll kiss each other every night, he promised.
Until that one day never came.
It was the boys in my eighth grade class
The boys in my eighth class
I couldn't seem to get past the way they laughed at me.
The way they laughed you knew that they were laughing at you
I am afraid.
I am afraid of everything.
I'm not afraid of spiders, snakes, or tigers.
Controlled, calm a very steady mind.
Fooled under pressure hidden over time.
Hunted by shadows, a very cunning kind.
Am I greater or am I leaser, these thoughts drown my soul.
Sometimes you meet a girl
And you try to imagine what she's truly like.
You don't know.
I think that it's harder to meet the real,
"Someone" because people are so guarded today.
You are my 2 a.m thoughts
No one can replace you in my mind
You were my lover
A person so mesmerizing is hard to find
Trying to survive
As I stay alive
Holding back these tears when I want to cry
As I endure this pain I feel inside
Tell me what do you see when you look at me
I'll tell ya
No one knows the real me.
On the outisde, I smile, I grin, and I greet everyone
Everyone that has seemed to put me down
I hide behind a smile... I smile as if there was not a single problem in my life.
Mac studio fix foundation, with a thin line of black liner
Can't forget about the concealer under the eye
Let's not show those bags
From math problem stress
How about the perfectly contoured nose/check bones?
Hidden
My faults buried beneath fabrications
Below forged falsehoods I tell even to my own brain
I don’t vision myself denier: my vain dishonesty’s not verbal
I was never that girlI'll never be that girlI broke heartsnot the other way aroundI slid in and out of these poor boys lives like the devil in disguise
