The Double Lived Lie of Life


United States
32° 42' 35.9604" N, 96° 40' 28.2144" W
United States
32° 42' 35.9604" N, 96° 40' 28.2144" W

Behind my wall there's a confident woman waiting to show herself.
The world judges this type of person.
She's never understood why.

In my closet there's a person who's waiting to love
She's looking for affirmation that it's okay to be herself.

Underneath this blanket is a personality that's bubbly, real, sensitive.
On the outside she's strong, but underneath she wants to show her true colors.

Opinions, beliefs, morality are what make me, me. Right?
Religion, the "good book," prayer are what I'm supposed to do. Right?
I'm not supposed to question, I'm supposed to do and just say "yes." Right?

You see, by not admitting to myself or to others I'm just living a lie.
By not conforming to their idea of "good" and "what one should be" I'm not truly living what I'm supposed the way I'm supposed to be.
By not questioning their ideas of what's real, I'm living a double life.

Behind my curtain, there's not a girl who's in love with a boy.
Behind my curtain, my wall, in my closet, there's a girl who longs for the touch of another woman.
Underneath my blanket, I long for the love and caring of another woman.
After all my question marks, I desire another woman to share all of my ideas with so the questions become answers and the answers become reality.

In the end, the curtain should be no more.
In the end, the wall should be torn down.
In the end, there should be no closet.
In the end, the blanket should be ripped away.

For now, my curtain is black, my wall is thick, my closet is so small I can barely fathom, and my blanket is coarse.




Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741