What Do You See?


Brown eyes, cream skin

And I'm wearing so thin,

Trying to be who they want me to be. 

Every day, every night, 

Trying to get it just right,

So they won't be disappointed in me.


"Don't do this", "Can't do that",

"What would people think of it"--

The voices haunt me wherever I go.

When am I gonna stand up

And throw my shaking hands up,

And say, "This is my life, though."


Too scared, too shy 

To let the me inside,

Come out into the light.

Worried about what they'll see

When they look at me,

And see right through my eyes.


See past all the things I've made

To cover up the shades,

Of who I really am.

I am me, I am her,

Yes, I am that girl;

The one who can barely stand. 


I pray for strength

For God to give length 

To the small rope of hope I grasp.

How long must I hide

Who I am inside,

How long will this deep fear last?


I like to dance, I love to write,

I laugh too hard sometimes

At the weirdest things. 

Books are my friends,

I hate to see them end;

My voice cracks when I sing.


My family's screwed up

But I won't give 'em up,

Not after all these years.

I've got scars in places

That elicit dark faces,

And make me come to tears.


But at the end of the day

All that stuff fades to gray,

And I'm left with just one truth:


All these years, all these lies,

Finally letting it go tonight.

So I can just be me. 


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741