If you look at me,

You see happiness

You see a smile

You hear a laugh every few minutes.

When you look at me,

You don't see

The pain

The depression

The tears I want to shed

I hide these emotions 

Because I don't want anyone to ask

Ask why I feel the way I do 

Because I will not be able to answer

Without breaking down in front of them

I put on this mask,

This plaster,

So no one has to see 

The tears

The pain

The depression

So no one has to feel

What I feel

What I go through everyday of my life,

The fear that someone will actually see through it

That someone will question me

That one day

One day 

I will break

And those tears will no longer come at night

And this mask will be gone forever

I don't want my parents to be upset

I don't want my siblings to think I'm insane

I don't want my friends to spiral down with me

So for everyone else's mental stability

I keep to myself

I cry myself to sleep

Feel the tears fall down my face

And keep my real emotions

Behind the curtain

Of my emotional facade