Time Warp
Location
They told her she was worthless
And that she was worth less than the grains of sand in a hourglass
And that there weren’t enough hours in a day to remind her of unworthiness
And the man who was supposed to love her so,
Left her to sew up her wounds
Wounds she got from selling her blood to pay the rent of being broken
Broken from all the tears shed on nights of self loathing
Studying just to fail her test of feeling anything but worthless
And society made it easy to hate herself.
Picking herself up with all her might
Well she might run out of strength
Drowning in her dreams
Dreams turned into nightmares
And how dare they say ‘be happy’ as if being sad is her choice
Protesting that the ideology of those who never had to fight for the same right as another have no room to talk
Because the fact that she has a voice has to be enough
And she has to speak for those who have had their voices stolen, the silent soldiers
Fighting a battle that no one could begin to comprehend,
They try to understand
But they can’t
So here are the people with their voices stolen,
And those who have a voice still are shoved so far underground that the mantle of this earth seems above it
But those restless nights keep her up
Lost in the mess she calls her mind
The mind that tells her that it’s mind over matter
But some nights nothing makes sense and the lack of self esteem causes a war inside
A civil war
Scaling the tight rope that she calls life
It’s always been a balancing act between relapse and recovery
And maybe she didn’t search herself hard enough for the ‘file’ ‘save’
To save herself
But sometimes you have to fall just to prove you’re strong enough to get back up
No escape except to get used to being broken
But she’s worked too long to just throw her hands up in defeat
Racking up hospital bills and getting altitude sickness from standing up for herself
But now she’s the voiceless one in a world full of people who finally learned to speak
After all, she had a Ph. D in being taken for granted,
Not a degree to fix the world