Battling with Darkness

They called me an attention seeker, told me it was all in my head

Little did they know, all my life consisted of was crying in bed

So many times I convinced myself that there was nothing wrong

I wanted to believe that was the truth, but I’ve been like this for too long

Months and months passed by and I kept getting worse

This place became comfortable to me, a place that I could easily be immersed

The days went by and isolation became my best friend

My mind would tell me that this suffering has no end

 

A therapist told me that my brain was sick, during our session

She diagnosed me with this thing called depression

I was told I had a chemical imbalance in my brain

I did not understand how that could cause me so much pain

I was ashamed, embarassed and told no one I was mental

Teens now a days are not understanding because they are all detrimental

 

 

Being mentally ill is something most people don’t understand

They do not understand that the severity is grand

The voice in my head continually told me that I wasn’t important to anyone

I decided that I would take my own life so I could finally please everyone

Something stopped me and told me it wasn’t my time to go yet

January 5th, 2014 is the date I attempted suicide and a day I’ll never forget

 

Reality slapped me in the face and I realized how broken and damaged I am

But my life became a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m fed up with it all, goddamn!

Why did this have to happen? When did I become so fucked in the head?

To this day, there are several moments where I still wish I was dead

This will never be an easy journey, and it is one that will never end

 

 

Depression will always be part of me and happiness is something I cannot pretend

Judge me all you want, this is who I am, this is who I have accepted to be

Until you walk in my shoes, you’ll never know the despair that has come upon me

This wasn't my fault and here's no reason to keep this a secret anymore

This isn't my fault and it is something I will always stand for

Depression will not stop me; this has only pushed me to become stronger

My illness won’t destroy me because I’m planning to stay here longer